cheeky bum pinch/slap

Penny Tration

Hammer89 wrote: »

But we're talking about it happening in a nightclub and certain social rules are far more flexible in one of these places.

No. They're not. People are just more drunk in clubs than a Spar and have less inhibitions.

I mean, would you walk up to a complete stranger in broad daylight and starting meeting the head off them? Absolutely not. It's an alien and unacceptable concept in any culture, and yet it's commonplace in a nightclub - any nightclub in the first world! Why? Because people go to these places to have fun and potentially meet someone, whether for a one-night stand or in pursuit of a potential partner.

Actually, plenty of non-single people go to have a laugh, a drink and a dance with their friends. Being in a nightclub doesn't mean you're single and up for it.

It's a very, very sexual atmosphere and minor sexual acts, such as men and women tapping, slapping or groping an arse unconsentually, happen very regularly as a result.

True.

Your method of communication is very limited because of the music, so men and women will resort to physical means in an effort to communicate something with you, and sometimes those means involve what they interpret to be an innocent gesture such as a grab of the hole.

No. What happens is drunken fools think that it's cool to grab someone sexually because they want the ride. Whether that's something they'd do sober too, I don't know. I avoid arseholes so couldn't tell you.

But should those same men and women be prosecuted under a sexual assault charge? C'mon guys. Let's not lose the run of ourselves here.

I wouldn't personally even consider bringing charges against someone for grabbing my arse or tits, but I'd consider a slap across the face warranted, given they'd just invited themselves to assault me.

Certain things are par for the course in a nightclub. I'm not talking about sinister, forced sexual acts - I'm talking random kissing, non-consentual fondling during a kiss, or touching an arse.

Par for the course if you're a disrespectful prick, maybe. How is grabbing someone's backside or tits NOT a forced sexual act? It's someone grabbing your more sexual body parts due to arousal.

You can't get away with these things in society, but you can in the highly-charged sexual atmosphere of a nightclub and that's because they are not like any other establishment. The location is paramount.

The location is meaningless. If you can get away with it, it means either the person on the receiving end likes it or is too scared to confront you.

steddyeddy

Princess Consuela Bananahammock wrote: »

That's because guys generally assume that it comes from a woman. If it was gay men groping their asses every other night, you can pretty sure there'd be fights started over it on a regualr basis.



Absolutle bull****, but if it helps you sleep at night...

The gender of the person sexually assaulting the person is meaningless. Guys don't like it when some drunk gropes them.

Hammer89

osarusan wrote: »

Are you talking about what's surprising, or what's acceptable?

I'm saying if it's less surprising then it's an indicator that it's more acceptable on the whole, yes. And it is less surprising for most people. There's undoubtedly a reduced 'WTF' factor, when it happens in a nightclub.

Penny Tration wrote: »

I wouldn't personally even consider bringing charges against someone for grabbing my arse or tits, but I'd consider a slap across the face warranted, given they'd just invited themselves to assault me.

Well this is my point. Why in the name of god would you turn a blind eye if you felt that you had just been sexually assaulted like? That's the debate, whether a slap on the arse, in a nightclub, should fall under the banner of sexual assault and whether perpetrators deserve to be prosecuted for it.

Penny Tration

Hammer89 wrote: »

I'm saying if it's less surprising then it's an indicator that it's more acceptable on the whole, yes. And it is less surprising for most people. There's undoubtedly a reduced 'WTF' factor, when it happens in a nightclub.



Well this is my point. Why in the name of god would you turn a blind eye if you felt that you had just been sexually assaulted like? That's the debate, whether a slap on the arse, in a nightclub, should fall under the banner of sexual assault and whether perpetrators deserve to be prosecuted for it.

Because I feel, especially given my own past, that it's extremely low on the scale of assault, though still an assault. Were the person to decide to do it AGAIN after being pushed away, I'd be calling the security in charge.

Hammer89

Penny Tration wrote: »

Because I feel, especially given my own past, that it's extremely low on the scale of assault, though still an assault. Were the person to decide to do it AGAIN after being pushed away, I'd be calling the security in charge.

And so you should. I'm not for a second disputing that. And I agree. It's extremely low on the scale, but I'm suggesting that it's so low that it does not deserve to be on the spectrum of sexual assault, alongside some truly dastardly acts. And I don't think the men or women who have touched an arse in a nightclub, without permission, should be considered perpetrators of a sex crime because it's a wholly inaccurate reflection of what they did, in my opinion. And that's all this is, opinion.

NiallBoo

"Hammer89 wrote: »

[in a nightclub]Your method of communication is very limited because of the music, so men and women will resort to physical means in an effort to communicate something with you, and sometimes those means involve what they interpret to be an innocent gesture such as a grab of the hole

Erm...the rules change in a nightclub in so far as it might become acceptable to speak right in the ear of a stranger, or touch them on the arm/shoulder in a way that would seem intrusive otherwise. even before that you'll have engaged with them in some non-physical way and you can know if you're welcome or not.

This is non-sexual and completely different to pinching/groping someone.

It also gives you enough feedback to know if the person just isn't interested...y'know, without having committed sexual assault.

Hammer89

NiallBoo wrote: »

Erm...the rules change in a nightclub in so far as it might become acceptable to speak right in the ear of a stranger, or touch them on the arm/shoulder in a way that would seem intrusive otherwise. even before that you'll have engaged with them in some non-physical way and you can know if you're welcome or not.

This is non-sexual and completely different to pinching/groping someone.

It also gives you enough feedback to know if the person just isn't interested...y'know, without having committed sexual assault.

I used the word 'sometimes' for a reason to be fair mate. I wasn't for a second suggesting that every single courtship in a nightclub starts with an arse being pinched.

NiallBoo

Hammer89 wrote: »

I used the word 'sometimes' for a reason to be fair mate. I wasn't for a second suggesting that every single courtship in a nightclub starts with an arse being pinched.

The problem is, it's an all-or-nothing strategy. There's someone out there that want you to touch their ar§e, sure, but you don't know that when you're sticking your hand out. You have to recognise that they might not (probably don't) want that - so you don't do it.

Personally, even if I found someone attractive, this would put me off them.

You know absolutely nothing about the person, except they're good looking(our not), and they're a creep.

Princess Consuela Bananahammock

steddyeddy wrote: »

The gender of the person sexually assaulting the person is meaningless. Guys don't like it when some drunk gropes them.

.... so suddenly a random grope is no longer ok - my point entirely.