Would you leave your baby in a car?

Francie Barrett

scarbouro wrote: »

it's called common sense

I agree, we could do with some common sense in this thread.

Discodog

cyning wrote: »

No I don't. Then I have a toddler who faints and a preschooler who wants to be Houdini! I'd be more worried about someone scaring them by waving in windows to them getting frightened on their own. Someone reversing into my car. The car getting too hot (or too cold!). Especially going into chemist I feel like I'm in there every week and it is not a 2second in and out job! Do what is right for you op, everyone has an opinion on everything you do as a parent.

But some things go beyond opinion. If the RSA are talking about it then the Guards will be too. AFAIK it isn't against motoring law but maybe there are other laws covering it.

A parent might have an opinion that their child doesn't need a seatbelt or a childseat.

angeldelight

No, I don't and wouldn't. It's a pain bringing my daughter into garage to pay for petrol or into shop to get milk but for me I prefer to have her with me. If something happens and she needs me I'm there. I don't know what could happen, I prefer not to take the chance

Ms2011

Two occasions when I leave my child/ren in the car, paying for petrol & leaving back the shopping trolley. Both times they are in my eye line & are alone for no more than 2 minutes.
In my opinion on the balance of probability my child/ren are safer strapped in their carseats than walking across a forecourt or carpark.

Cork Lass

Discodog wrote: »

So why not have a couple of pints or text whilst driving ? The chances are really low but how about the consequences ?

Because the pint keeps spilling while trying to text. Seriously, such a silly comparison.

Moonbeam

hollymartins wrote: »

People wouldn't leave their mobile phone in the car in case it might be broken into...but a baby is grand I wouldn't chance it myself, for all the reasons above, you might intend to nip in and out but I know I've often found myself kept waiting when the person serving pops into the back or has to take a call. Even getting petrol I now go to a petrol station that takes card payment at the pump just to avoid the faff of taking the baby in with me.

I never leave my kids anywhere that I would not leave my wallet or phone .
When I had 1 ,I always took her in to pay for petrol ,when I had 2 I did too . Now I have 4 I just go pay for my petrol if I can't pay at the pump because taking 4 out and putting them back in esp at night is hard and can be dangerous too .
If I can't see them I tend to take them out unless 1 is asleep , if I have other people small kids I always take them out .
I have on occasion had to take 6 little ones out to pay for petrol

andekwarhola

Discodog wrote: »

So why not have a couple of pints or text whilst driving ? The chances are really low but how about the consequences ?

I'd hazard a guess coming to harm from the above is a higher risk than your car spontaneously blowing up or your kids being stolen by a crazed kidnapper.

Plus they're illegal.

FortySeven

I never left my kids in the car. 1 year between them and I had a tiny fiat to get them in and out of, 2 doors was a real hassle but I could never leave a child in a situation where if anything was to happen there would be no responsible person to aid and comfort them.

It's all very well saying it's grand for a second to pay for petrol or grab a takeaway but these things often go awry and end up taking much longer. My son is not Ill or sick in any way but I had to perform the Heimlich manouver on him 3 times as a baby.

Paying for petrol takes long enough for a baby to die. Perhaps organise life a bit better. Fill the car when the babies are somewhere else. Get your takeaways delivered.

My ex would leave them in the car but she's an irresponsible, lazy parent.

Can you imagine the outcry if supermarkets put a row of metal boxes with Windows in them and locks on the doors outside so you could leave your children in them?

Discodog

Cork Lass wrote: »

Because the pint keeps spilling while trying to text. Seriously, such a silly comparison.

Really? Leaving a child probably is illegal. The RSA clearly think that it's a problem.

Discodog

andekwarhola wrote: »

I'd hazard a guess coming to harm from the above is a higher risk than your car spontaneously blowing up or your kids being stolen by a crazed kidnapper.

Plus they're illegal.

Do you know the chances?
Leaving a child could be considered neglect.

cyning

Discodog wrote: »

But some things go beyond opinion. If the RSA are talking about it then the Guards will be too. AFAIK it isn't against motoring law but maybe there are other laws covering it.

A parent might have an opinion that their child doesn't need a seatbelt or a childseat.

I meant in the context of her mother wondering why she wouldnt do it, hence addressing the op. I don't agree with leaving kids in cars on their own at all. Esp because 2 mins in the chemist can turn to 5, to 10 etc. But until there are laws against it it is just opinion. It's not neglect to run in and pay for petrol, or grab a prescription or a pint of milk.

Anne_cordelia

brokensoul wrote: »

Do you not think you are being a bit aggressive in your responses here?

Yes I agree with you brokensoul.

I would leave my child in my eyeline for a very quick visit to pay for petrol or to the local shop. If there was a long queue I would go back out and check on the child. For me, the risk of fire/break in is so low I think it's ridiculous. So many drama queens on this thread.

bp

I leave my two the odd time, well actually every day as I set my house alarm and lock up. Kids, phone, wallet etc all in the car then I put the alarm on. It is impossible to get two kids out the door in 30 seconds because they must examine everything while the beeping noise is going on!

Outside the home very rarely at petrol stations whereby I park at the window and lock the doors. My toddler is awful to get into the car and hates being carried so would have to carry a trashing child across the forecourt and into a garage full or arm height chocolate (the older one gets tempted as kids do) and then have my door wide open with my rear end hanging out while struggling to put a very wilful child back into their seat. It takes longer to put him back into his seat (straight ramrod body screaming) then pay! And less stressful for all involved. I do try go to the pay at pump places but not always possible

Optimalprimerib

I wouldn't because I thought it was illegal to do so.

Lucyfur

No I wouldn't. I appreciate situations are trickier with 2 but for me I couldn't take the risk. I know things can happen at home/at night but they are out of my control. Leaving a child in car is a conscious decision I wouldnt be prepared to make.

My baby chokes regularly tho so it's a no brainer for me.

neonsofa

Op I would imagine that the reason you are posting here is that for some reason it doesn't sit right with you. Whether it's the safety issue or what other people will think or whatever else. You know best as their mum so do what you feel is right and don't worry about others.

Neyite

I very rarely did, but that was mainly because if he woke and I wasn't there he'd get hysterical and it would take ages to calm him down and just result in more clingyness.

The only petrol station I would leave him in the car for was one rural one near me that never had a queue, and the checkout was less than 10 feet away from the car so he was in my eyeline and more importantly, I was in his.

Any chemist I've been in lately I've been waiting a good 10 mins to get served, and that's not even getting a prescription processed, just picking up some over the counter stuff so I cant see that a chemist is an in-and-out job the way fuel would be.

What is probably riskier in a car is a baby or toddler having a snack while you are driving. Choking can be silent so you wont hear it when you've the radio on and paying attention to the road you are not looking at your child. I'd read a news story of a woman who's daughter choked to death on a rice cake or something and she never noticed, just thought her daughter had fell asleep. After that, any time he was snacking in the back, I found was distracted more as a driver so we just stopped snacks in the car - safer all around.

Blazer

Have done it a few times but only when I can see my car out the shop window, if there's no spot I bring them in.

implausible

For me, it came down to a judgement call between waking up a peacefully sleeping baby and leaving them in the car while I popped into a shop/garage/chemist. Waking either of them up was rarely worth it, because then you were dealing with carrying a crying cranky yoke into a shop for the sake of a minute or two. I've often left mine sleeping in the car outside the house to avoid unnecessarily waking them after coming back from somewhere.

I don't go in for the catastrophe scenarios - abduction is rare, you're not more likely to be crashed into or have the car go on fire when you're not in it.

At the end of the day, OP, it comes down to what you're comfortable with or what your common sense tells you. As you can see, it's a contentious topic.

hollymartins

When my son has fallen asleep on the way home from somewhere I'd either gingerly bring the car seat in with me or sit in the car until he woke. I live in a busy area so I would never leave him asleep on his own in the car, it wouldn't sit right with me as our car wouldn't be in sight. But if I lived in a rural area and the house was well off the road it might be different.

brokensoul

neonsofa wrote: »

Op I would imagine that the reason you are posting here is that for some reason it doesn't sit right with you. Whether it's the safety issue or what other people will think or whatever else. You know best as their mum so do what you feel is right and don't worry about others.

That is precisely it!

For those of you that mentioned babies choking, forgive my ignorance but are you talking about a situation where a baby is eating a snack in the car or what?

Lucyfur

brokensoul wrote: »

That is precisely it!

For those of you that mentioned babies choking, forgive my ignorance but are you talking about a situation where a baby is eating a snack in the car or what?

With us baby has severe silent reflux so frequently has dusky episodes which can and have caused her to turn blue. She could grow out of it in 6 weeks or she could have it for months...or years!

brokensoul

Lucyfur wrote: »

With us baby has severe silent reflux so frequently has dusky episodes which can and have caused her to turn blue. She could grow out of it in 6 weeks or she could have it for months...or years!

Oh my lord, that sounds terrifying.

murphyebass

There's no situation that should demand that you leave your child in this situation.

Buying petrol - do it a different day when you don't have to leave you're kid/s in the car.

Buying take away - get it delivered or cook something instead.

Etc..

Absoultely no justification for leaving a young child/baby in a car alone.

Lucyfur

brokensoul wrote: »

Oh my lord, that sounds terrifying.

Twas first the first week but 5 weeks on she's doing great feeding and winding can have hairy moments but meds and frequent docs visits keep it relatively under control

brokensoul

Lucyfur wrote: »

Twas first the first week but 5 weeks on she's doing great feeding and winding can have hairy moments but meds and frequent docs visits keep it relatively under control

Glad to hear it.

implausible

murphyebass wrote:

There's no situation that should demand that you leave your child in this situation.
Buying petrol - do it a different day when you don't have to leave you're kid/s in the car.
Buying take away - get it delivered or cook something instead.
Etc..
Absoultely no justification for leaving a young child/baby in a car alone.

V judgmental, you do realise that not all parents have the option of leaving their kids with a partner or childminder? For some women, avoiding these situations could involve them never leaving the house.

Life is busy, parenting is hard and there is always someone happy to share an opinion that you're doing something wrong.

pwurple

implausible wrote: »

murphyebass wrote:

There's no situation that should demand that you leave your child in this situation.
Buying petrol - do it a different day when you don't have to leave you're kid/s in the car.
Buying take away - get it delivered or cook something instead.
Etc..
Absoultely no justification for leaving a young child/baby in a car alone.

V judgmental, you do realise that not all parents have the option of leaving their kids with a partner or childminder? For some women, avoiding these situations could involve them never leaving the house.

Life is busy, parenting is hard and there is always someone happy to share an opinion that you're doing something wrong.

Or perhaps take the child with them?
I know the poster worded it harshly, but everyone who has ever taken a maternity leave is effectively a single parent for a large portion of the day, so there's no monopoly on martyrdom here. Plenty of people organise themselves around it... because it seems to be about half and half here. It's clearly not impossible. Shops deliver, or you can bring a buggy or baby carrier in. It's not *that* difficult to figure it out. There's no way you would be confined to the house.
I don't know. I'd be absolutely raging if I saw a dog left alone locked into a car, I'm not sure why a baby is different.

lazygal

https://www.washingtonpost.com/lifestyle/magazine/fatal-distraction-forgetting-a-child-in-thebackseat-of-a-car-is-a-horrifying-mistake-is-it-a-crime/2014/06/16/8ae0fe3a-f580-11e3-a3a5-42be35962a52_story.html

This is a very disturbing article about children left in cars and what can happen.

I don't leave mine in the car. I have had two under two and it's taken more time to get a baby into a sling and the toddler out of a seat than to pump the car full of petrol, but I could not take the risk. I try to use the pay at the pump places and I simply work around situations where I might leave them in the car for a minute-they come with me, even though it is a pain to get them in and out of the car for such a short time.

lazygal

implausible wrote: »

V judgmental, you do realise that not all parents have the option of leaving their kids with a partner or childminder? For some women, avoiding these situations could involve them never leaving the house.

Life is busy, parenting is hard and there is always someone happy to share an opinion that you're doing something wrong.

When someone is doing something wrong it is not judgemental to point this out. If someone is doing something like feeding a baby inappropriately or not meeting their developmental needs, it is not judgemental to tell them so. Children rely on their parents to keep them safe, so if parents are choosing to take a chance that is something that can lead to danger for them.
I was left alone as a child at home, my mum had to run out for a brief message and told me to stay where I was. I panicked, ran out of the house and a total stranger picked me up in his car. Thankfully it worked out fine and he was a concerned dad who found my panicking parents almost immediately. Things can happen when you leave your children unsupervised.