Elective CS first time

Ayuntamiento

Hi,
Just wondering if any of you have had the experience of electively requesting, and then successfully having, a CS birth for a first pregnancy?

catrionanic

Are you going privately? In the absence of serious complications, I can't see this ever being done in the public system. What makes you want to have a c-section? Or is it a matter of need rather than want?

Ayuntamiento

Yes I'd be using the private system. I wouldn't expect the public system to facilitate it. It's purely for psychological reasons. I am completely phobic about the idea of natural childbirth after attending a few of them.

Beanybabog

Would you consider counseling? If you have a phobia that could be an option

Ayuntamiento

Counselling is definitely an option but I worry you'd need a lot of time to try and work through it. And it might not even work.

Some part of me thinks it's not really a phobia. Surely it's completely logical to have an extreme fear of high levels of pain, total loss of control and all the complications that can happen.
I just thought I'd see if anybody had an experience of this.
Obviously my doctor is the next step.

fits

I have heard of people having them with my doctor. Also, I'd recommend doing a GentleBirth workshop, even if you still go with the section.we did one and it covered practical information about decisions as well as cognitive behavioural therapy and hypnosis.

CheerLouth

Would you consider doing Gentlebirth? They are all about teaching you to be prepared and help with overcoming your fears! Total normal to be a bit fearful, especially on your first baby. I'd give that a go before deciding a section as the only course.

pwurple

Ayuntamiento wrote: »

Counselling is definitely an option but I worry you'd need a lot of time to try and work through it. And it might not even work.

Some part of me thinks it's not really a phobia. Surely it's completely logical to have an extreme fear of high levels of pain, total loss of control and all the complications that can happen.
I just thought I'd see if anybody had an experience of this.
Obviously my doctor is the next step.

It certainly is logical to be apprehensive , which is why I'd be surprised at someone who was worried about those things taking the more painful, higher risk of complication and less control option of a c-section.

Were the births you witnessed without pain relief?

If you're worried about an unexpected labour and being without pain relief, you could ask for planned induction.

January

It's totally normal to be terrified of childbirth and want an elective cesarian. If you are going private you can certainly request an elective cesarian but I'd speak with your doctor about this. I'd also look into hiring a doula, doulas attend women with all types of birth now not just natural births so they will be able to speak to you about your fears and discuss your options with you as well as your consultant. They won't try to sway you either way.

Ayuntamiento

Thanks. All of the above suggestions were really helpful. The 2 natural births that I attended didn't involve epidurals. It had been specifically requested for one of them but I really felt that the midwife delayed and delayed until it was too late to get one.
I also attended a planned C Section which was so relaxed and organised compared to the relative chaos of natural births. I think everybody's definition of control varies. Some might feel that a CS puts a doctor in control of things rather than their own body. That makes me feel much more safe to be honest. I understand the recovery would be more difficult but I could accept that.

pwurple

The epidural makes a massive difference. I insisted on mine from the time I went in. My husband nipped down to the hospital shop, and brought me some magazines. I had the feet up, doing crosswords and reading vogue while in labour. Had some pressure a few hours later when it was time to push and pushed away. Baby arrived nice and healthy. Very civilised. Repeated the second time. Cut from babies shoulder on second time which needed a few stitches, but nothing which comes close to a section. I highly recommend it anyway.

Ayuntamiento

That sounds ideal pwurple! Did they make you wait until you were a certain number of cms dilated before offering it? That was the case at one of the births I attended. The midwife kept insisting she waited a while as she wasn't dilated enough and then it was too late. That's what really put me off natural births. She was in so much pain that she wasn't in much of a position to insist she had the epidural.

shesty

How far into your pregnancy are you OP?

You could request a C-Section, but it might be a bit of an extreme solution to your fear.It could potentially create some issues for future pregnancies aswell, as you've no idea how you might feel about natural birth in a few years time, your opinion might change. I'm not 100% sure you would be granted one either, so in case you're not, you should have a way to deal with that.

The one thing I will say is that attending births is most definitely not the same as actually doing it. Especially if you don't have some medical training yourself, I'd imagine it's traumatic. I mean let's face it - you don't have to watch yourself give birth; I wouldn't be queueing up to watch anyone else do it either! For my first I was more worried about my husband being there, I stressed about whether he'd be able to cope with it. And I have had a lifelong terror of childbirth, yet I've done it twice now with very little pain relief.

You can request an epidural, I think up to 5cm. Will you have a birthing partner? This is where the partner comes in handy - they can push what you want with the nursing staff, in case you're having trouble dealing. You can prepare a birth plan well in advance and bring it to discuss it with the medical staff at one of your later appointments, and make sure it's in the file. In the plan you can state that you want an epidural.

I would suggest you attend Gentle Birth or Wise Hippo classes. I would also suggest that you look up the Positive Birth Movement. They meet up once a month on a Sunday, in Dublin anyway.It's a worldwide movement though so I'd imagine that they are in other parts of the country too. The aim is to give mothers, especially first time mothers, confidence about giving birth, and to take away the horror stories and fear that surrounds labour and birth and to make women realise they can be in control. It's very relaxed, chilled environment and I think you might really benefit from going to it.

For what it's worth I have had two kids in the last 2 years, with only gas and air. I've put in my birth plans that I want to be helped to give birth in an upright position, and I have been. There has been minimal to no interference, with only one midwife in attendance at each and with both, the midwife has hovered in the background and let me get on with it. Both kiddies delivered perfectly safely, with skin to skin contact straight away and breastfeeding shortly afterwards.

What I'm trying to say is that you aren't out of control and in agony. You have so many options and so many ways to try to.....own this, for want of a better phrase. Yes, you don't know how it will go, but your aim is to put as many options in place for yourself before going in as possible. Don't be frozen with fear about it because your body truly knows what to do and can do it. Definitely consider a few other options because you do have them.

Ayuntamiento

Thanks shesty, that's really helpful. I feel a bit less terrified after hearing a positive experience. I need to stop reading all the birth horror stories that are all over the media.

I have a great partner. He'd probably do a better job of it than me if he were anatomically capable!
Ok i'll go away and have a think about all this. Thanks everybody!

pwurple

Ayuntamiento wrote: »

That sounds ideal pwurple! Did they make you wait until you were a certain number of cms dilated before offering it? That was the case at one of the births I attended. The midwife kept insisting she waited a while as she wasn't dilated enough and then it was too late. That's what really put me off natural births. She was in so much pain that she wasn't in much of a position to insist she had the epidural.

Offering smoffering.
I was asking for it from the get go, and had my husband prepped on the same tack.

I think i was 2 cm, maybe less.

fits

Ayuntamiento wrote: »

. I need to stop reading all the birth horror stories that are all over the media.

!

Definitely. Ive been avoiding anything like this over my pregnancy. In the end everyones experience is different. What is someone elses story may not be yours.

But i really recommend gentlebirth workshop and maybe the sooner the better with your issues.

mrsmags16

Ayuntamiento I was like this as well - I witnessed lots of deliveries when I was a medical student on Obs/Gyn rotation and thought 'NEVER!!!'. I honestly couldn't see why women would put themselves through it when the c-section was so quick and easy (and pain-free!).
However for some reason I don't think I ever saw an epidural birth. The midwives always seemed to discourage it and push the ladies to keep going in the hospital I was training in. My four sisters in law (who are seriously squeamish) had the epidural and didn't feel a thing. One also had a c-section and said the recovery was really tough, plus there was no skin-to-skin after the birth, which is something I would like.
Anyway, so I went into this thinking 'at least I can make sure I get a section' (as am going private) but as the weeks go on and the more people I talk to, as long as I can get the epidural and every other pain relief going, I will probably try for a normal birth if possible.
NB the midwives in Rotunda did mention to me skin-to-skin is possible after C-section now, amongst other things, so basically what I'm saying is don't close off any options just yet. The likelihood of everything going to plan on the day itself is so unpredictable in itself anyway!

tiredcity

(Replying on phone & accidentally posted first attempt before I'd finished, sorry about that!)

Trained with mrs mags & then worked as paeds SHO for six months so was called to every instrumental/meconium/c section delivery to potentially resuscitate the baby. Those weren't usually the straightforward deliveries and needless to say was fairly terrified about the prospect of doing it myself and positive I was going to be looking for an epidural the second I arrived (going public). As time has worn on I've done a bit of gentlebirth & gotten so much more confident and positive about the whole experience and now am just going to see how it goes on the day and not judge myself either way. Its a *really* unpredictable and individual experience so can only agree with everyone else & say try to empower yourself with as many tools as you can and slowly shift your mindset towards feeling more positively towards birth, no matter how that ultimately ends up occuring. Fwiw the calmest, most chilled birth I've ever attended was one of my first as a student, she had an epidural around 4cm, was a FTM & had clearly mentally prepared herself & kept active during the pregnancy which all helps hugely. We were all chatting away and joking to 10cm listening to music & she managed the pushing stage wonderfully over about 30 minutes with no significant discomfort. The midwife was amazed cause usually epidurals slow things down a bit but she did brilliantly and bubs was breastfeeding away within the hour. I've also seen great natural births & surreally relaxed c sections, although the recovery time is obviously longer for the mum with the latter. I'm friends with a bunch of midwives & they all said stop watching one born every minute & listening to the nightmare stories the second I got pregnant. The worst thing you can do for yourself is panic in the heat of the moment or have a rigid idea of how things 'should'
go. We are born to do this & we can all do it with a little help (whether that be from partners, drugs, hypnobirthing or surgeons!) so have a chat with your GP and the obstetric team about your fears early on, don't limit yourself at this stage to a single option & hope you have a very positive pregnancy.

shesty

Great post. I should have said in my earlier post too, that childbirth was a huge, huge fear for me throughout my entire life. But here I am two babies later... Also I stayed a mile away from One Born Every Minute during no.1 pregnancy, bar 10 mins I accidentally saw of it, which actually inspired me. It was a woman having her second child, giving birth upright (kneeling) with gas and air, and I thought - that's how I want to do it. It was honestly an eye-opener for me, after years of seeing it in TV shows etc as being a horror show. I never knew you could do it upright, never knew you could just have gas and air, never knew there could be no screaming and yelling "push, push". I had never seen anything else. My aim was to try and go for as long as I could with no epidural (and I put that in birth plan) and work through the pain relief in stages - breathing, TENS, gas and air, epidural if I felt I really couldn't cope. My preference was not to have an epidural (that was just me). Thankfully I never got to a point where I felt I couldn't cope.

When you think about it, you've seen two relative extremes of childbirth - a C Section and a birth where a woman wasn't given what she was looking for and struggled to cope. There's a million other ways in between that, that are much calmer and more natural.
There are plenty of positive, undramatic, boring birth stories out there OP, they just don't make for good TV, so we don't hear about them.

bp

I gave birth on my knees using gas and air, the gravity helped! Go with what you are comfortable with.

Digs

Shesty I could have written your post word for word. Two gentle births, gas & air, on my knees and minimal interference from the midwife (only one in the room on both births), all I really remember was intermittent stethoscope on my belly to monitor both babies heartbeat. I've nothing to add really apart from wanting the OP to hear another gentle experience!

OP it is of course completely natural to be scared, apprehensive and worried. Giving birth is one of the biggest and scariest things you'll do in your life, however, I think not enough of the good stories are told! Explore all options available to you with an open mind and the best of luck!

LirW

I'm somewhat the opposite but I really do understand where OP is coming from. The internet is full of the most horrific stories surrounding childbirth and it's so easy to get caught in this spiral of reading it, starting to worry about everything, reading more, worrying more and so on.

Personally, I was astonished after my boy was here, how incredibly fast you forget this painful experience. My labour was easy, just a bit long (16 hours) but seriously, I couldn't tell you if this was 3 hours or 16, at some point he was here, it was over and an hour later I went to take a pee without much problem at all. I had a very positive experience, I didn't use pain relief at all (simply because it didn't even come to my mind asking for it, I just forgot because I was so... you could say focused?), and this time I have no plan yet if I wanna use it or not. Honestly, if you feel like it, ask for it.
What I really enjoyed after my labour was how quickly I was back on my own feet and was able to do everything on my own.
I read so much stories about birth, wouldn't do it again tho, because it says absolutely nothing about your own personal story. Honestly, I've seen myself in the theatre with so much drama happening, I was scared of the pain and in the end I forgot about the pain in like 5 minutes.

Myself, I'm fearing a section so much. Not the fact that there would be a surgery but having a scar at my tummy and not being able to go home that quickly and maybe rely on help, it makes me somewhat uneasy. I wouldn't fight it if there would be the need for it and I would never try going into labour with a breech baby, but it's just the whole thought of a surgery and the recovery of it...

My personal preference would be: Waking up and the baby is delivered, clean and nice in front of the door by the stork :pac:

coffeyt

Just to add my experience I had always said I didn't want children and willingly admitted that 90% of my reason was a fear of giving birth. At 34 I realised that I needed to decide whether I wanted children or if I would regret not, I even discussed the options of a elective c section with my friend (before I got pregnant) who had 3 by c section. Anyway 3 years later I've a 2 and a half year old and an 11 month old. The first was with an epi, and I had no problems in getting it, the nurse asked me about pain killers straight away and had me prepped for it. Labour was fine, delivery a bit tougher as was one push away from an emergency c section but luckily I got there. My second was very very fast no time for drugs, I had gas and air for one contraction and then my oxygen levels dropped so oxygen only and that's how I delivered. When asked now I can honestly say if I was going again ( no way hands are full) I would go no pain relief. It was tough but over so quickly and the recovery was unreal, 20 minutes later I was fine!!! So just to add you are not alone in your thoughts and you could surprise yourself with ur strength.

Ayuntamiento

Thank you all for the input. What an empowering and inspiring thread this ended up being! I'm still terrified but i'm trying to open my mind up. I don't like being out of control. Something that is kind of intrinsic to childbirth I suppose!

appledrop

Thought Id share my experience. I have had a fear of childbirth since I was a child. I used to always tell people when I was small that I'd adopt the babies so I wouldnt have to go through it! Now my problem was that I was terrified of giving birth normally + even more terrified of a section so there was no easy answer for me! Now as a private patient my consultant would have done a section if I wanted. I also knew from the very beginning that I would take every pain relief going to get me through it.

Anyway in the end my labour was about a million times better than I could have ever thought possible. I went early at 37 weeks so it took me by surprise. I had an unreal quick labour for a first baby + went from about 2cm to 10 cm dilated in about 2 hours. Because it all went so quick I was actually about 5cm dilated before I even got a paracetamol! I was in a lot of pain but once I got the gas + air + epidual it improved. Now the only thing is the epidual didn't really fully work for me. I could still feel some of the pain + contradictions but remember I had a very quick birth so that's why. My consultant was with my through it all + was brillant + that really calmed me. I healed really quickly afterwards.

If I can do it anyone can I promise!

dorito92

i felt the exact same way OP, i was terrified of labour my whole life, i could barely listen to others stories. When i got pregnant I couldnt even think of labour, when they were showing us the labour room during the ante natal classes i was shaking in the labour room with fear and felt sick, i was that bad lol. but once labour started i just kept telling myself "panicking and worring wont stop this so just breath", because the only way labour is going to stop once it starts, is when the babys out, so i just kept my breathing in mind and it made things seem a lot quicker. I got the epidural and was so relaxed - i got it at 7cm so i think it really depends on your circumstances during labour as to when they'll give it to you. I would recommend going to the ante natal classes if you can as they helped me with breathing techniques which i wouldn't have had a clue about otherwise.

shesty

Ayuntamiento wrote: »

I don't like being out of control.

Total control freak here. If it helps, for me, the gas and air sort of....switched off my conscious mind, if that makes sense. Sent me into a happy, woozy place where I didn't really know what was going on around me . But my body still went through the motions and got the baby out each time, without me really being aware of it or thinking about it. You could end up having a similar experience.

One thing I will say is, ask for your pain relief, don't wait to be offered. I thought first time round that I'd be offered it and I do remember getting to a point where I thought "christ, are they going to give me ANYTHING?!" and I mentioned to the midwife about pain relief then and she said...you let me know when you feel you want something.

I didn't make that mistake again!!

KKkitty

I've had normal deliveries and one caesarian section. One with an epidural, another without. Whilst the pain of a normal delivery was intense without an epidural the recovery time was short. I found the recovery after my caesarian section was longer and more painful. Each to their own though. Best of luck with whatever you choose.