Men in women's toilets

professore

The OP is just another man hating feminist looking for some way to bash men. It's extremely likely that the man's wife asked him to help her, and it was the last place on earth he'd rather be?

Maybe you'd prefer him to take no interest in his children and let her stay at home barefoot and pregnant? That way they'd have no need of public changing rooms at all.

What a bitch. Don't ever have children or get married.

And another thing, the whole unisex trans debate is ridiculous. Trans people of either gender are welcome in the men's toilets. If some women don't want them then that's on them. No need to segregate them for being trans.

kronnn

Wall1257 wrote: »

When possible, it's definately better for an father to bring his children to the men's toilets. However, as a last resort I can understand bringing the children to the women's toilets.

Unfortunately this father was with the mother of the child and she was changing the nappy... the Father really didn't have an excuse to be there.

Why the almighty **** would a father need an "excuse" to help change his childs nappy?

eviltwin

Wall1257 wrote: »

This is an Exception!!!!!!

If a Mother is in with her adult son... I will assume that one of them is disabled in some way. This wasn't the case in my scenario.

Even in the case above, I am assuming that they will have considered the disabled toilets first rather than bringing a grown make into the ladies toilets.

My son doesn't have a disability. Disabled toilets are for people in wheelchairs who need extra space and are often not stand alone, sometimes you'll find a disabled cubicle is in with all the others. That's if there even is one.

This is all by the by. No one should have to justify their presence. Unless they are an obvious threat there is no need to be so passive aggressive as to throw dirty looks. You are making a fuss out of nothing.

relax carry on

OP most of us are posting on the specific situation you outlined in which it appeared that a man was assisting his partner with changing a baby. Not random lads dropping in for perve around some toilet cubicles or transgender issues.
It's been outlined to you multiple times now that it can take two people to change a nappy and most changing mats are in the ladies toilets so it shouldn't be an unexpected thing to encounter. Its also been pointed out to you that dad's will bring their girls into ladies toilets to use the facilities. I'm really struggling to see what your problem is with men and their children in ladies bathrooms. If it was some random guy hanging around in the ladies by himself having a good old tug, then you've got a point.

professore

I really wonder if the OP is a troll. Surely someone like this can't be serious?

Chuchote

How much assistance do you need to change a baby, though?

pickarooney

PucaMama wrote: »

This thread is not about transgender people. You are trying to turn it into something it's not. Stop trying to be offended.

What if it identifies as a thread about transgender people?

qo2cj1dsne8y4k

Chuchote wrote: »

How much assistance do you need to change a baby, though?

Have you ever had to hose a child down because it actually sh1t up its own back?

Chuchote

LexieOnRale wrote: »

Have you ever had to hose a child down because it actually sh1t up its own back?

Oh, I did, so I did, so did you and so did I. It was a one-woman job.

hairyslug

Chuchote wrote: »

Oh, I did, so I did, so did you and so did I. It was a one-woman job.

But in public, with the lack of a bath or something to wash a baby down in, why not ask for assistance from your partner if it'll make it easier, sure, who would have an issue with a man going in to a womens toilets to help change his child's nappy

IvyTheTerrible

The child had a poonami, **** everywhere, up it's back, you're trying to remove the vest without smearing **** everywhere, you're worried about the hygeine of the changing mat, the child is wriggling, doesn't want to be changed, you're simultaneously trying to stop the child from rolling off, and sticking it's feet and hands into the ****, and if it's a boy, from pissing all over you (cos baby boys love that when the nappy comes off). Yep, one man job indeed.

Chuchote

IvyTheTerrible wrote: »

The child had a poonami, **** everywhere, up it's back, you're trying to remove the vest without smearing **** everywhere, you're worried about the hygeine of the changing mat, the child is wriggling, doesn't want to be changed, you're simultaneously trying to stop the child from rolling off, and sticking it's feet and hands into the ****, and if it's a boy, from pissing all over you (cos baby boys love that when the nappy comes off). Yep, one man job indeed.

In my experience, yes.

Superwoman! [preens]

Big Bag of Chips

The OP was the only one there, and even she's not too up on the details! So who knows. They might be very new, very inexperienced, very nervous parents. They might be a very anxious close couple who can't leave each other's sides. The child might have some sort of condition that means changing a nappy isn't just changing a nappy. Who knows?! Just because some of us are nappy changing ninjas who can do it anywhere, any time, with record breaking speed and efficiency doesn't mean all parents have reached that skill level just yet!

End of the day the man was not in any way being a problem, so why not wash your hands, move on and briefly think "oh! There's a man in the ladies" and then forget about it immediately once you've walked away?

Chuchote

Poonami

ForestFire

Wall1257 wrote: »

To any men following this thread.

Have you ever gone into the women's toilets?

I find it surprising that so many people are defending the man for going into the women's toilets. I personally don't know of and have never known any males that would EVER do that (excluding transexuals).

This is the 1st time I have ever seen a male in the women's toilets........ so why do you all think it's so normal?

1. Do you go into the women's toilets?
2. If yes, is it because you don't/didn't have any other option?

Thank you.

BTW..... maybe the transgender discussion people might like to set up a new thread? This really is just a thread about a 'Joe soap' going into the female toilets.

I have reached this post...

I can't belive the arrogance of some people.

Yes I have gone into womans tolites to help my wife change. Our daughter would never stay still and would need help to ensure she didn't fall from changer.

She is now 3 and if she needs to go to toilet I will take her to the girls. Guess what she is a girl and she needs help.

If you or any other person has a problem with it quite frankly don't care it it just shows some of the arrogance towards mens simply helping their children.

Wall1257

professore wrote: »

The OP is just another man hating feminist looking for some way to bash men. It's extremely likely that the man's wife asked him to help her, and it was the last place on earth he'd rather be?

Maybe you'd prefer him to take no interest in his children and let her stay at home barefoot and pregnant? That way they'd have no need of public changing rooms at all.

What a bitch. Don't ever have children or get married.

And another thing, the whole unisex trans debate is ridiculous. Trans people of either gender are welcome in the men's toilets. If some women don't want them then that's on them. No need to segregate them for being trans.

When people start throwing personal insults ie bitch into a dicussion, I know that that person isn't capable of 'discussion' and I tend to tune them out.

pickarooney

sister_shama wrote: »

And even then as a Muslim woman flying, I'm still probably going to be flagged for a "random search" no matter how wealthy I am.

Well you've certainly demonstrated a propensity for hijacking in this thread.

Wall1257

eviltwin wrote: »

Wall1257 wrote: »

This is an Exception!!!!!!

If a Mother is in with her adult son... I will assume that one of them is disabled in some way. This wasn't the case in my scenario.

Even in the case above, I am assuming that they will have considered the disabled toilets first rather than bringing a grown make into the ladies toilets.

My son doesn't have a disability. Disabled toilets are for people in wheelchairs who need extra space and are often not stand alone, sometimes you'll find a disabled cubicle is in with all the others. That's if there even is one.

This is all by the by. No one should have to justify their presence. Unless they are an obvious threat there is no need to be so passive aggressive as to throw dirty looks. You are making a fuss out of nothing.

Disabled toilets are also for people who need the assistance of another person so that there is space for both.

eviltwin

Wall1257 wrote: »

Disabled toilets are also for people who need the assistance of another person so that there is space for both.

My son doesn't need assistance peeing, he can do that himself. He suffers from extreme anxiety and wouldn't be able to go into a strange environment on his own. That's why he needs someone with him.

Tbh I don't know why I'm justifying this to you. I couldn't care less if anyone has a problem with any man in a woman's toilet. How on earth do you cope at home or in work where you need to share bathrooms?

It's okay not to like men in there but you don't have some kind of ownership of the space and giving people dirty looks is petty and childish.

professore

Wall1257 wrote: »

When people start throwing personal insults ie bitch into a dicussion, I know that that person isn't capable of 'discussion' and I tend to tune them out.

It's not a personal insult, it's a statement of fact.

Wall1257

Chuchote wrote: »

LexieOnRale wrote: »

Have you ever had to hose a child down because it actually sh1t up its own back?

Oh, I did, so I did, so did you and so did I. It was a one-woman job.

My child had food intolerances so her nappies were particlarly 'special' ;-) I NEVER ever needed assistance to change him.

Somebody needing help to change a nappy? Now THAT would be my definition of a 'precious flower'.

HS3

Wall1257 wrote: »

My child had food intolerances so her nappies were particlarly 'special' ;-) I NEVER ever needed assistance to change him.

Somebody needing help to change a nappy? Now THAT would be my definition of a 'precious flower'.

How old was the baby?

professore

Wall1257 wrote: »

My child had food intolerances so her nappies were particlarly 'special' ;-) I NEVER ever needed assistance to change him.

Somebody needing help to change a nappy? Now THAT would be my definition of a 'precious flower'.

OMG you have a child? That poor boy/girl

Please tell me you don't have a man in your life too. Never have I seen such judgemental comments on boards. I feel sad for you, you are so brainwashed.

hairyslug

Wall1257 wrote: »

My child had food intolerances so her nappies were particlarly 'special' ;-) I NEVER ever needed assistance to change him.

Somebody needing help to change a nappy? Now THAT would be my definition of a 'precious flower'.

You may not need help doing it but having someone help could make it easier, why turn that help down incase someone gets offended by a man helping change a nappy.

Yes, it's not impossible to change a child when they have crap up to their neck but it's easier when there are 2 adults.

Can i ask though, how long where you looking at this couple changing their child. Obviously long enough to get your point across.

Wall1257

eviltwin wrote: »

Wall1257 wrote: »

Disabled toilets are also for people who need the assistance of another person so that there is space for both.

My son doesn't need assistance peeing, he can do that himself. He suffers from extreme anxiety and wouldn't be able to go into a strange environment on his own. That's why he needs someone with him.

Tbh I don't know why I'm justifying this to you. I couldn't care less if anyone has a problem with any man in a woman's toilet. How on earth do you cope at home or in work where you need to share bathrooms?

It's okay not to like men in there but you don't have some kind of ownership of the space and giving people dirty looks is petty and childish.

Please know that I am not in any way trying to demean your situation. I have no doubt you face extreme hurdles in your daily life carrying out tasks that most people take for granted.

Of course you din't need to justify yourself to me or anybody else. However by you sharing your situation, you are educating people. So thank you for taking the time.

As I said before, if I saw you with your adult child in the ladies, I would definately assume one of you needed assistance.

However if you, your male husband/partner and your son were in there together, I would wonder why the husband was in there.

professore

I can only suppose that the OP got pregnant by some guy who later abandoned her or treated her very badly, or some other male in her life. That's the only thing that can explain such an attitude. I can't think of anything less threatening or wonderful than a man helping his wife change a nappy.

Also if the man was transgender she has no problem. What kind of weird sexism is that?

Wall1257

professore wrote: »

Wall1257 wrote: »

When people start throwing personal insults ie bitch into a dicussion, I know that that person isn't capable of 'discussion' and I tend to tune them out.

It's not a personal insult, it's a statement of fact.

Hmmmm All I can hear is static....... tuning........ outtttttttt

alexonhisown

Wall1257 wrote: »

What do you think? Yesterday I arrived out if a toilet stall and came face to face withe a MALE... . aggghhhhh the horror. He was with his wife while she was changing her baby's nappy on the changing table. As far as I'm concerned he did not need to be there not should have been there. I did give him dirty looks so that he would know sO disapproved ;-) What do you think, should I have said something to him,

I dont see anything wrong with him being there.
I saw a male cleaner in ladies toilets recently, i didnt think it was weird.
I have bigger things to be worrying about

Wall1257

HS3 wrote: »

Wall1257 wrote: »

My child had food intolerances so her nappies were particlarly 'special' ;-) I NEVER ever needed assistance to change him.

Somebody needing help to change a nappy? Now THAT would be my definition of a 'precious flower'.

How old was the baby?

I am actually not sure...... I kind of only glanced over. It was'nt an older baby but not a new born either.

professore

There are female cleaners in the male toilets in Heuston. Where men stand in a row with their penises in full view. Now that's something to complain about.

Dr Jakub

The Specialist wrote: »

Get used to it snowflake, it's 2016. If I'm bursting for a piss and suddenly feel like a woman, I'm going to take that piss in the womens bathroom.

Careful, that's how Bruce Jenner got started...

professore

Wall1257 wrote: »

Hmmmm All I can hear is static....... tuning........ outtttttttt

Yep that's how you feminist types debate alright, just ignore anything that goes against your dogmas.

Wall1257

hairyslug wrote: »

Wall1257 wrote: »

My child had food intolerances so her nappies were particlarly 'special' ;-) I NEVER ever needed assistance to change him.

Somebody needing help to change a nappy? Now THAT would be my definition of a 'precious flower'.

You may not need help doing it but having someone help could make it easier, why turn that help down incase someone gets offended by a man helping change a nappy.

Yes, it's not impossible to change a child when they have crap up to their neck but it's easier when there are 2 adults.

Can i ask though, how long where you looking at this couple changing their child. Obviously long enough to get your point across.

It's true that the 'help' would come in handy at times :-)
I just wouldn't have thought to ask for the help if my husband needed to come into the ladies to do it.

I only glanced over at the family and once at the male and then washed my hands.

The baby wasn't crying or anything like that...... there didn't seem to be a 'struggle' going on :-)

Wall1257

alexonhisown wrote: »

Wall1257 wrote: »

What do you think? Yesterday I arrived out if a toilet stall and came face to face withe a MALE... . aggghhhhh the horror. He was with his wife while she was changing her baby's nappy on the changing table. As far as I'm concerned he did not need to be there not should have been there. I did give him dirty looks so that he would know sO disapproved ;-) What do you think, should I have said something to him,

I dont see anything wrong with him being there.
I saw a male cleaner in ladies toilets recently, i didnt think it was weird.
I have bigger things to be worrying about

I've seen male cleaners in the ladies too......... While I'm not completely comfortable, he was just doing his job, so I knew why he was in there.

HS3

Wall1257 wrote: »

I am actually not sure...... I kind of only glanced over. It was'nt an older baby but not a new born either.

I'm not sure what that means lol. The baby was fairly small then? Maybe it was the mother that needed help for some reason? Not a precious flower at all but just needed a bit of help. It's not really a big deal that deserves a dirty look though. Why not let the little family just get on with what they were doing? Life isn't black and white.

eviltwin

Wall1257 wrote: »

It's true that the 'help' would come in handy at times :-)
I just wouldn't have thought to ask for the help if my husband needed to come into the ladies to do it.

I only glanced over at the family and once at the male and then washed my hands.

The baby wasn't crying or anything like that...... there didn't seem to be a 'struggle' going on :-)

Maybe they weren't the parents, they could have been babysitting. I've had two of my own so well used to changing nappies but it's been a while and if it was one of my nephews who needed a change I'd like a bit of help.

demanufactured

BlindBoyRB wrote: »

I saw a woman driving a car yesterday but you don't hear me complaining.

Women...know your limits.

ytpe2r5bxkn0c1

Wall1257 wrote: »

To any men following this thread.

Have you ever gone into the women's toilets?

I find it surprising that so many people are defending the man for going into the women's toilets. I personally don't know of and have never known any males that would EVER do that (excluding transexuals).

This is the 1st time I have ever seen a male in the women's toilets........ so why do you all think it's so normal?

1. Do you go into the women's toilets?
2. If yes, is it because you don't/didn't have any other option?

Thank you.

BTW..... maybe the transgender discussion people might like to set up a new thread? This really is just a thread about a 'Joe soap' going into the female toilets.

You just won't answer the questions though, will you?

What was so terribly wrong with the situation?
How did it impact on you?
Have you never been in a unisex toilet area?

To answer your diversionary questions...
Yes. I have done so when no parental/changing facilities were available in the Gents. And I would if my wife needed or asked any assistance.


You really need to concern yourself with your own life and not be so perturbed by others who aren't doing anything to affect you personally.

Big Nasty

Surely women in men's toilets is far more intrusive than men in women's.

professore

This thread makes me sad. Off to do something productive with my life.

Big Bag of Chips

Why didn't you ask them why he was there? Or if you weren't comfortable doing that why didn't you bring it to the attention of the management that there was a random man in the ladies toilet?

You briefly caught a glimpse of a woman changing a nappy. You have no idea what happened before or after that brief glimpse. You have no idea if he was there unnecessarily or not. A brief glance isn't enough for you to assess any situation and what you do see in that brief glance can be completely out of context for the actual situation.

And again... What actual harm was he doing? And now that you experienced a male presence in a female toilet how are you? How is it affecting you today (other than replying on this thread) and if you were to see a man in the women's toilet in future would you now be more inclined to react differently? Question him? Report him? Ignore him? Give him a dirty look?

looksee

I was camping in France in the early summer, before schools had closed so the other people on the campsite were pretty much all retired couples. On all the campsites the toilets and showers were individual cubicles along with public wash basins. Men and women used toilets and showers with no regard for who else was beside them/ going in and out of the building. There were no issues, no problems and no - as far as I could see - embarrassment. Everywhere was spotlessly clean the whole time. If there were any transgender people, it would not have mattered.

ytpe2r5bxkn0c1

Wall1257 wrote: »

It's true that the 'help' would come in handy at times :-)
I just wouldn't have thought to ask for the help if my husband needed to come into the ladies to do it.

I only glanced over at the family and once at the male and then washed my hands.

The baby wasn't crying or anything like that...... there didn't seem to be a 'struggle' going on :-)

In other words you haven't the foggiest idea what the circumstances were.

You are just railing about a situation that is meaningless in life. No harm was done. Nobody was compromised. Everybody else's lives just carried on regardless.
Can't you see that this is an issue for not one other person but you?

Wall1257

In all my years posting on various website forums, I have never EVER been the OP of even a remotely controversial topic.

It is my first time being the minority opinion for anything in my life. Usually my opinions tend to be received with the majority of the same opinion as me.

It's quite intriguing to being in the minority :-)

Big Bag of Chips

So is it making you reconsider your opinion of men in women's toilets? Not as an everyday occurrence (we'll ease you in gently!) But as an occasional, rare occurrence that usually only happens when he is accompanying his small child?

Edit: it's ok to be put out by something. But if that something is fairly innocuous and doesn't actually have an real affect on you it's also ok to realise you probably over reacted to the situation.

HS3

Wall1257 wrote: »

In all my years posting on various website forums, I have never EVER been the OP of even a remotely controversial topic.

It is my first time being the minority opinion for anything in my life. Usually my opinions tend to be received with the majority of the same opinion as me.

It's quite intriguing to being in the minority :-)

You probably dont feel half as bad as the bloke trying to help his partner and his baby who got a dirty look from a stranger for his troubles.

ytpe2r5bxkn0c1

Wall1257 wrote: »

In all my years posting on various website forums, I have never EVER been the OP of even a remotely controversial topic.

I don't think this thread is remotely controversial. In fact there seems to be very broad agreement on the issue.

professore

Wall1257 wrote: »

In all my years posting on various website forums, I have never EVER been the OP of even a remotely controversial topic.

It is my first time being the minority opinion for anything in my life. Usually my opinions tend to be received with the majority of the same opinion as me.

It's quite intriguing to being in the minority :-)

Must have been all radical feminist forums - someone holding an extreme view like this one must be posting in online echo chambers.

waterfaerie

Wall1257 wrote: »

In all my years posting on various website forums, I have never EVER been the OP of even a remotely controversial topic.

I didn't really want to get involved in this but that's a funny comment considering...

http://www.boards.ie/vbulletin/showthread.php?p=101699080

Ciderswigger

In general, if the toilets are separated by gender and there's a guy in the ladies then, while I won't be angry or scared, I will be annoyed because it's one more person I've to wait for before I can pee! But from what ive seen at gigs or festivals women use the men's way more than a guy would ever use the female toilets and they rarely complain. OP, what would you have said? He obviously had a legitimate reason to be in there so your comment would have been pointless and possibly insensitive (not knowing the full extent of the situation)

This topic reminds me of an incident years ago. I used to work in a busy nightclub and one night it was jammers. I finally manage to get 5 minutes to go to the toilet. I walk smack bang into this huge, broad, guy. For a second I think I've went into the wrong toilet but no, this Polish dude with very little English is in the ladies. I give him the benefit of the doubt and tell him he's in the wrong place. I give him a bit of a nudge towards the door but he isn't moving. He then tries to go further into the toilets. He's shouting 'Lovely ladies' and is generally being a creep.
I shove him and mange to get him out the door with the help of some of the female customers. He pushes me up against the wall and starts shouting at me in Polish. A customer has gone to get a bouncer and I'm losing a shoving contest with the Hulk. The bouncers grab him and out he goes. I go back to the bar, a bit flustered but totally fine.

I find out later that he had a knife on him the whole time and was arrested for stabbing a random guy not long after being kicked out. (Well that escelated quickly!!!) The thoughts of how close I was to a guy with a knife and a bad attitude, and the fact that I was shoving him, freaked me out for a while. Anyway, off topic, apologies.