Men in women's toilets

Four Phucs Ache

We have a unisex toilet in work and it doesn't bother anyone.

I am the only man though so over time I have learned the timing of the others bodily functions so I can have a few mins to myself knowing that after I'm finished it will be at least 30 mins before they walk into the remains of my creations.A quick squirt of one of their deodorants kills any horrible man smells though.

Fuscia and camomile is my favourite.

Dr Jakub

sister_shama wrote: »

I am a Muslim woman... while I don't personally consider extra-marital relations bad this is still extremely inappropriate.

Ok this has to be trolling, next you're going to tell us you how your wife's son was crying because he's afraid Trump is going to gas all the non whites in America.

9/11 for the effort. You got a lot of people riled up.

Wall1257

Big Bag of Chips wrote: »

So is it making you reconsider your opinion of men in women's toilets? Not as an everyday occurrence (we'll ease you in gently!) But as an occasional, rare occurrence that usually only happens when he is accompanying his small child?

Edit: it's ok to be put out by something. But if that something is fairly innocuous and doesn't actually have an real affect on you it's also ok to realise you probably over reacted to the situation.

Thanks for 'easing me in gently' ;-)
If nothing else I know I'm the only one with this opinion........

...... but why is this the first time I've ever seen a man in the ladies of it's so common....... oh well....... something new to get my head around I guess :-)

Big Bag of Chips

Nobody said it was common! It's not really that common, but it does occasionally happen. I think in my nearly 40 years I've seen a man in the women's about 3 times, maybe.

(Not counting the odd drunken fella on a night out popping in to say hello!)

Goya

I wouldn't make a habit of it but I was once that girl in an extremely busy bar who was about to wet herself because of the long ladies' queue not moving due to shyte like putting perfume on, and then my eye being drawn (because of the door being open) to a row of empty cubicles in the gents (no queue obviously) and asking the lads at the sinks very politely if I could dash in and out of a loo as fast as I could. They were fine with it. Why wouldn't they be, tbh? A man needing to go into the ladies' toilets for a similarly innocent/practical reason is the same thing.

Outlaw Pete

Yeah, but if you had of looked upwards a few minutes later as you were sitting on the toilet, you would have seen four smiling faces peering down.

con___manx1

if the women's toilets are full in my local pub the women will sneak in to the men's sometimes. nobody cares

martingriff

Alf Stewart. wrote: »

I often have to bring my two daughters into the ladies toilets when they need to go.

In saying that, only when there's no disabled/parent bathrooms available.

I could bring them into the mens with me I suppose, but I don't really feel comfortable walking through them with the lads shaking the dew of their tulips and what not in front of a 4 and a 6year old, so I usually head for the ladies, find a stall and let them be little girls in there.

Feel free to have a word with me any time you feel like it.

Sorry but no disabled toilet is for a disabled person

martingriff

Wall1257 wrote: »

When possible, it's definately better for an father to bring his children to the men's toilets. However, as a last resort I can understand bringing the children to the women's toilets.

Unfortunately this father was with the mother of the child and she was changing the nappy... the Father really didn't have an excuse to be there.

Maybe he did we do not know. Maybe the wife/girlfriend whatever was unable to lift the child in or out to change it and needed the him there to help her.

Grayson

Dr Jakub wrote: »

Ok this has to be trolling, next you're going to tell us you how your wife's son was crying because he's afraid Trump is going to gas all the non whites in America.

9/11 for the effort. You got a lot of people riled up.

Because a person doesn't fit your image of what they should be they're liars or trolls?

This is the internet, the poster could be a "loser in his parents basement" as trump would say or they could be the actual person they claim to be. But either way you have no evidence to say who they are either way.

Robsweezie

i dont think it's too shocking that trans issues have been brought into the discussion. I made the connection as soon as I read the thread title. trans bathroom rights has been a hot point of discussion in the past while.

martingriff

sister_shama wrote: »

Great, so the suggestion that people should actually care about a group of vulnerable people is just "political correctness" and people are being celebrated for saying they literally don't give a **** about them. When people speak up in impassioned defend of a disadvantaged group, it's political correctness gone mad, social justice warriors, all that. Someone can outright say "I am a terrible, amoral human being who must rely on a boogeyman to justify my fascist viewpoint". Is it really that much of a "Godwin's law" to draw comparisons with the Trump Phenomenon here?

I mean, I'm pretty sure they know you don't care about them. If people did care, they might not die all the time. But whatever, convince yourself that it's okay to treat a group of people as subhuman as long as they're "small" enough to not apparently matter, and that there aren't much larger groups you don't give similar treatment to.

I find it pretty funny that people who most people "don't give a **** about" who are regularly subjected to humiliation and inhumane treatment are regarded as fragile, whereas incredibly sheltered and uneducated people who've never had to grow a thick skin towards that level of abuse act like they're experts at the world at large. All you information and views are drip-fed to you, including the one that tells you that other, compassionate human beings are somehow brainwashed.

I do not think anyone is saying it is right to treat anyone subhuman or they should have there rights. HOWEVER they should be treated like everyone else the same with no differences. Trump been in power does not mean there is a growth in people with racist/sexist/homophobic etc chants. They have always been there. Yes they may think now they can do anything they want because of him but guess what the Rules of Law have not and will not change in anyway to hamper LGBT right in any way as people will not allow it. You have a right to be offended and speak up however you do not have a right to impose your will on mine

martingriff

sister_shama wrote: »

Do you really think any of that excuses your utter flagrant disregard for the rights & issues of others?

It just makes it more shameful, because you should know better. Having one sort of negative experience doesn't mean you understand the experiences of everyone else. Do you not realise that all of these things can happen to the "Snowflakes" you hate so much? Sexual abuse isn't even "noteworthy" to a lot of transgender people. It's just a fact of life for them. Same with drug addiction. You have no idea what some of my trans friends have been through. But you have literally said you do not care about them. Past being vaguely bisexual(I am not exactly straight either, and can you imagine that and being Muslim???) and perhaps experience with drug mis-use, you are not part of a group that experiences oppression at the institutional level, so don't pretend to understand it.

Not to mention: How do I know any of that is true? And why should I care about it? If you don't care about transgender people(and probably even less about Muslims like me) why should I care about you? How would you like it if I said you deserved to be beaten, or raped? And yet it's acceptable for fascists to be in the white house, because of the minorities most affected by it. Unacceptable. There's nothing worse than a man who believes himself to have "pulled himself up by the bootstraps" and gotten over a dark place, failing to realise the lack of support for others not so lucky to do so. Everyone else is to blame for their suffering. Your experience is the only one that matters.

Many gay(though almost exclusively white gay men) voted for Trump and even some Latinos(though English-language first ones). At the end of the day the typical conservative/right wing viewpoint is "I have my mine, everyone else can get lost." You've no idea what I've been through, or what the typical transgender goes through. Typical white man's ego, assuming he's the only one that has troubles.

You are not trans, you are not black. So none of this excuses your attitude towards people who are not like you.

My god seriously you are not trans or black so can't know real pain. Your total disregard to people who have been abused bullies is outstanding. You want to be treated with respect how about you start treating everyone with respect. What happens to anyone be the trans, black bi gay, ginger, disabled, sexually abused, physically abused is a real travesty and should be treated the same no difference. Just because I am a disabled bi person does not mean I am any different to anyone else.

martingriff

LexieOnRale wrote: »

Have you ever had to hose a child down because it actually sh1t up its own back?

You just made a bad memory come up when my mother ask me to help here when she was changing my nephew to keep him still

Dr Jakub

Grayson wrote: »

Because a person doesn't fit your image of what they should be they're liars or trolls?

This is the internet, the poster could be a "loser in his parents basement" as trump would say or they could be the actual person they claim to be. But either way you have no evidence to say who they are either way.

Have you seen what's she's coming out with? "Waaah someone told a harmless joke and now I'm triggered!! Why are the cis gendered white males oppressing me?!"

It's like a caricature of an unhinged SJW. But hey, maybe you're right and she's being genuine. It's giving me a laugh either way.

Fluffy Cat 88

LexieOnRale wrote: »

Have you ever had to hose a child down because it actually sh1t up its own back?

Ewww! Glad I've never dropped a sprog after reading that.

I think single unisex lockable toilet rooms with loo and sink adapted for disabled users are the best design, unfortunately these are rare.

In fairness that nappy-man was probably more embarrassed than you were. He wasn't doing any harm.

Dr Jakub

fineso.mom wrote: »

I'm HBIAAP
Heterosexual but involuntarily abstinent at present.

Me too. We are the truly the most oppressed in society. At least gays and trans can get laid easily.

pq0n1ct4ve8zf5

HS3 wrote: »

I'm not sure what that means lol. The baby was fairly small then? Maybe it was the mother that needed help for some reason? Not a precious flower at all but just needed a bit of help. It's not really a big deal that deserves a dirty look though. Why not let the little family just get on with what they were doing? Life isn't black and white.

Sure if it was a small baby the poor man might have been half asleep! Just goes in absentmindedly, and doesn't see a good reason to leave, because there isn't one.

Irish Guitarist wrote: »

Every day I hear about some injustice that I didn't even know was an injustice. For most of my life it never even crossed my mind that there should be gender neutral bathrooms. I don't recall anyone else going on about it either. Then all of a sudden everyone is up in arms about it.

Well now that's just not true is it. Next time you're at the pub, ask twenty people what they think of transgender toilet issues and count the blank stares you get. But pretending it's a thing that loads of people are spouting off about is a good way to get loads of funny 'did you just assume my gender, attack helicopter lol' jokes and general abuse towards transgender (and hey, gay, feminist, whatever!) people in.

Dr Jakub

For those wondering about the 'attack helicopter' reference

http://i.imgur.com/Jxcqndh.jpg

Sam Kade

The Specialist wrote: »

Get used to it snowflake, it's 2016. If I'm bursting for a piss and suddenly feel like a woman, I'm going to take that piss in the womens bathroom.

Do they have baths in public toilets now?

Sam Kade

Alannah Damp Freighter wrote: »

I think you need to get over yourself. Lord forbid you ever end up in a unisex toilet in Paris with men using urinals along the wall, as you make your way to and from your stall.

I'm sure he's traumatised by your dirty look.

The clue is in name

Wall1257

Alannah Damp Freighter wrote: »

Wall1257 wrote: »

In all my years posting on various website forums, I have never EVER been the OP of even a remotely controversial topic.

I don't think this thread is remotely controversial. In fact there seems to be very broad agreement on the issue.

Sorry, I used the word 'controversial' in error. I actually meant that I have never posted anything where everybody was of an opposing opinion. :-)

ytpe2r5bxkn0c1

Sam Kade wrote: »

The clue is in name

Don't get ye.

DM addict

professore wrote: »

The OP is just another man hating feminist looking for some way to bash men. It's extremely likely that the man's wife asked him to help her, and it was the last place on earth he'd rather be?

Maybe you'd prefer him to take no interest in his children and let her stay at home barefoot and pregnant? That way they'd have no need of public changing rooms at all.

What a bitch. Don't ever have children or get married.

And another thing, the whole unisex trans debate is ridiculous. Trans people of either gender are welcome in the men's toilets. If some women don't want them then that's on them. No need to segregate them for being trans.

professore wrote: »

Yep that's how you feminist types debate alright, just ignore anything that goes against your dogmas.

professore wrote: »

Must have been all radical feminist forums - someone holding an extreme view like this one must be posting in online echo chambers.

Okay, feminism is a broad church etc etc but as a feminist.... I've yet to find a feminist that disagrees with men helping out with childcare. We're actually 100% in favour of both parents being involved.

This poster doesn't come across as a radical feminist so much as someone who is used to seeing things more traditionally.

Also have you ever talked to a trans* person about bathroom use? I have a few trans friends and trust me, they are not always welcome in the gents. Far from it.

CabanSail

Friend of mine was talking to a Ladyboy in Bangkok. Out of curiosity he asked which toilet they used.

The answer was "It depends if I am feeling hungry"

DM addict

CabanSail wrote: »

Friend of mine was talking to a Ladyboy in Bangkok. Out of curiosity he asked which toilet they used.

The answer was "It depends if I am feeling hungry"

*prepares for thread to go down another rabbit hole*

JupiterKid

When I was a small kid and was out with my mum she would always take me into the ladies toilets. I hated it - I always wanted to go into the gents but my mum wouldn't hear of it. I suppose it was a safety thing.

In a gym/pool I was in a few years back, there were two very young girls (about 5 or 6) with their - well I presume, father in the men's changing room. I didn't feel comfortable about it at all. That's why I think family changing rooms, like you have on the Continent, are a good idea.

Wall1257

DM addict wrote: »

professore wrote: »

The OP is just another man hating feminist looking for some way to bash men. It's extremely likely that the man's wife asked him to help her, and it was the last place on earth he'd rather be?

Maybe you'd prefer him to take no interest in his children and let her stay at home barefoot and pregnant? That way they'd have no need of public changing rooms at all.

What a bitch. Don't ever have children or get married.

And another thing, the whole unisex trans debate is ridiculous. Trans people of either gender are welcome in the men's toilets. If some women don't want them then that's on them. No need to segregate them for being trans.

professore wrote: »

Yep that's how you feminist types debate alright, just ignore anything that goes against your dogmas.

professore wrote: »

Must have been all radical feminist forums - someone holding an extreme view like this one must be posting in online echo chambers.

Okay, feminism is a broad church etc etc but as a feminist.... I've yet to find a feminist that disagrees with men helping out with childcare. We're actually 100% in favour of both parents being involved.

This poster doesn't come across as a radical feminist so much as someone who is used to seeing things more traditionally.

Also have you ever talked to a trans* person about bathroom use? I have a few trans friends and trust me, they are not always welcome in the gents. Far from it.

You are completely correct.... I am far more familiar with the traditional way. I had no idea, until this thread, that the 'traditional rules' had changed.

It's nothing to do with anti-male sentiments at all.

Wall1257

JupiterKid wrote: »

When I was a small kid and was out with my mum she would always take me into the ladies toilets. I hated it - I always wanted to go into the gents but my mum wouldn't hear of it. I suppose it was a safety thing.

In a gym/pool I was in a few years back, there were two very young girls (about 5 or 6) with their - well I presume, father in the men's changing room. I didn't feel comfortable about it at all. That's why I think family changing rooms, like you have on the Continent, are a good idea.

That reminds me.....
My husband stopped taking our child to the men's changing rooms at the swimming pool because she commented "that man has a big penis". Ha ha :-))))

Hellrazer

JupiterKid wrote: »

In a gym/pool I was in a few years back, there were two very young girls (about 5 or 6) with their - well I presume, father in the men's changing room. I didn't feel comfortable about it at all. That's why I think family changing rooms, like you have on the Continent, are a good idea.

I always bring my two girls into the mens changing rooms if the pool hasn't got a family changing room.
Whats the issue here? Theyre with me,Im there to keep them lets use the word safe.
Its not like sexual predators are hanging around in changing rooms waiting for a father and his two daughters to come in.

When my oldest(19 now) was a baby and I was out on my own with her I used to have no choice but to go into the womens toilets as that's where the baby changing mats were located.There was never an issue. As a matter of fact I think a few women actually used to ask if I needed any help.

Thank f**k weve come a long way now and there are changing mats located in most mens toilets nowadays but if I was in that situation now Id still go into a womens toilet if the facilities weren't available in the mens and I had to change a babys nappy.

I really don't see the issue here at all.

DM addict

Wall1257 wrote: »

That reminds me.....
My husband stopped taking our child to the men's changing rooms at the swimming pool because she commented "that man has a big penis". Ha ha :-))))

Okay, so I get why this is funny, because kids say the darndest things, amirite?

But like, she just noticed a penis. Have a conversation with her about not commenting on other people's bodies, obviously. But after that, what's the problem? If someone is waving it at her, or if she's running over and grabbing it, then yes, problem.

the_pen_turner

what toilet are you in . i dont remember the last time i saw a baby changing table in a mens toilet

Hellrazer

the_pen_turner wrote: »

what toilet are you in . i dont remember the last time i saw a baby changing table in a mens toilet

Jervis street shopping centre,Bewleys.Irish Museum of modern art.
I think Brown Thomas.Marks and Spencers.

I could probably remember more but my youngest is now 8 so its a while ago that I did the whole nappy changing thing.

the_pen_turner

Hellrazer wrote: »

Jervis street shopping centre,Bewleys.Irish Museum of modern art.
I think Brown Thomas.Marks and Spencers.

I could probably remember more but my youngest is now 8 so its a while ago that I did the whole nappy changing thing.

im down the country , we are lucky if there is a seat on the bowl.


i include this as a point of reference .
i worked for a guy for 2 months . we fitted hand rails, locks ,loo roll holders etc, in toilets in shopping centers and one off shops.
i was in loads of toilets both mens and womens and still cant remember see any in the mens
loads in the womens and disabled

FortySeven

Hellrazer wrote: »

Jervis street shopping centre,Bewleys.Irish Museum of modern art.
I think Brown Thomas.Marks and Spencers.

I could probably remember more but my youngest is now 8 so its a while ago that I did the whole nappy changing thing.

Airports and motorway services too. It's been a few years since I was changing nappies but I found most places had baby changing in the disabled toilets.

pablo128

FortySeven wrote: »

Airports and motorway services too. It's been a few years since I was changing nappies but I found most places had baby changing in the disabled toilets.

I think the disabled toilet in the Square shopping centre doubles as a baby changing room.

Outlaw Pete

Was in the Lighthouse cinema's unisex toilets earlier tonight and despite many men and women coming and going... nobody fainted or was pounced upon, that I could see at least.


In fairness I was the only one that was coming, the rest were going.

Ciderswigger

Outlaw Pete wrote: »

In fairness I was the only one that was coming...

Dude! Do that in the privacy of your own home!!

JupiterKid

the_pen_turner wrote: »

what toilet are you in . i dont remember the last time i saw a baby changing table in a mens toilet

The Square in Tallaght had baby changing facilities in the men's toilets back in 1990.

FortySeven

JupiterKid wrote: »

The Square in Tallaght had needle exchange facilities in the men's toilets back in 1990.

FYP

Wall1257

DM addict wrote: »

Wall1257 wrote: »

That reminds me.....
My husband stopped taking our child to the men's changing rooms at the swimming pool because she commented "that man has a big penis". Ha ha :-))))

Okay, so I get why this is funny, because kids say the darndest things, amirite?

But like, she just noticed a penis. Have a conversation with her about not commenting on other people's bodies, obviously. But after that, what's the problem? If someone is waving it at her, or if she's running over and grabbing it, then yes, problem.

That you for your 'ground-breaking' advice but of course she has been told not to comment on people's appearance. Thankfully she understands that more than most children. It was just a comment she made while still young and learning. I wasn't implying that she said something brilliant ....... just funny in a cringe-worthy way.

Also, who said it was a problem? Of course the poor man wasn't doing anything inappropriate.

whoopsadoodles

Wall1257 wrote: »

That you for your 'ground-breaking' advice but of course she has been told not to comment on people's appearance. Thankfully she understands that more than most children. It was just a comment she made while still young and learning. I wasn't implying that she said something brilliant ....... just funny in a cringe-worthy way.

Also, who said it was a problem? Of course the poor man wasn't doing anything inappropriate.

You said that your husband stopped bringing your daughter to the changing rooms because of it......

currants

Probably to spare the men's feelings rather than the child. What happens if she saw a man with a er, not so big penis?

Wall1257

Wall1257 wrote: »

That reminds me.....
My husband stopped taking our child to the men's changing rooms at the swimming pool because she commented "that man has a big penis". Ha ha :-))))

So, you had no problems with your child being around naked strangers, but you have a problem with grown men being in a room full of toilet stalls ( with doors etc ) where there is no nakedness, bar his own child getting a nappy changed?
Strange set of rules you have there!

Wall1257

the_pen_turner wrote: »

what toilet are you in . i dont remember the last time i saw a baby changing table in a mens toilet

For a while..... until she learned that all of her thoughts don't need to be blurted out and her eyes should be front and centre :-)))))

I would imagine many men would feel uncomfortable hearing a comment like that coming from a child.

Anyway I was just telling about a funny incident we had.......

Big Bag of Chips

currants wrote: »

What happens if she saw a man with a er, not so big penis?

Well obviously it was bigger than her Daddy's if it was noteworthy!

AgaArts

Wall1257 wrote:

That reminds me.....
My husband stopped taking our child to the men's changing rooms at the swimming pool because she commented "that man has a big penis". Ha ha :-))))

What age was your daughter at the time and did she have to stop swimming when you were not around to take her?

Wall1257

bubblypop wrote: »

Wall1257 wrote: »

That reminds me.....
My husband stopped taking our child to the men's changing rooms at the swimming pool because she commented "that man has a big penis". Ha ha :-))))

So, you had no problems with your child being around naked strangers, but you have a problem with grown men being in a room full of toilet stalls ( with doors etc ) where there is no nakedness, bar his own child getting a nappy changed?
Strange set of rules you have there!

Agghhhhh... I am obviously not making myself clear here. While I wouldn't be overly comfortable with a man and his child in the ladies, I would understand that he wasn't comfortable going elsewhere for some reason.

This is all about a man accompanying his Wife and child into the ladies. If it's not necessary why go in?

Wall1257

AgaArts wrote: »

Wall1257 wrote:

That reminds me.....
My husband stopped taking our child to the men's changing rooms at the swimming pool because she commented "that man has a big penis". Ha ha :-))))

What age was your daughter at the time and did she have to stop swimming when you were not around to take her?

She started up again after a while. ......

Of course we thought it was funny .. .. but it wouldn't have been as funny for the man if he had heard :-(

Professor Moriarty

Wall1257 wrote: »

She started up again after a while. ......

Of course we thought it was funny .. .. but it wouldn't have been as funny for the man if he had heard :-(

Do you think that men who are undressing/dressing in a male dressing room might feel uncomfortable about a child commenting on their or another man's genitals?