Toddler not eating...help!!

joanene

Hi just looking for some advice as I'm pulling my hair out with my 17 month old!

He has never been a fantastic eater but ate a good variety of foods. Not the biggest fan of meat but apart from that ate pretty well.

In late October he got Hand foot and mouth virus (picked up in creche!). He had blisters in mouth so was off his food all week. He then got Tonsillitis and chest infect and went on antibiotics...very little eating for another week.
Then he got thrush in his mouth and throat.

So the poor guy has had a bad run of this.
All is clear now and I've started him on a pro biotic but he is completely turned off food.
Every mealtime is a battle. He has not eaten a dinner in a month.
He has gone off all preferred foods and is now basically surviving on 2 bottles (morning and evening) and weetabix or readybrek for breakfast and snack foods...toast, yogurts etc.

It's so frustrating at dinner time....not sure what to do.
I keep offering him dinner and try him to taste at least one spoon but he goes crazy.

Any advice on what to do?
Thanks in advance

angeldelight

Anything I have read (including a really good book I would recommend called My Child Won't Eat) says don't turn it into a battle. If he doesn't want to eat you need to bite your tongue, sit on your hands and don't engage with it, no cajoling etc. Just make sure the food you are offering is high in fat and protein and if he doesn't eat it don't keep offering alternatives or let him fill up on toast/milk instead.

This is the approach we have always taken with our 19 month old - never ask her to eat or praise her for eating and she goes through phases where she eats next to nothing then ones where she would eat us out of house and home

shesty

100% do nothing. Rule of thumb for toddlers - the more you want them to do something, the less chance there is of them doing it.

Sit on your hands. He gets the duration of your dinner time to eat his dinner (assuming he eats with you) - or maybe give him 15 mins or something. If he doesn't eat it, it goes away. And is not replaced with anything else. He will not starve himself, I can promise you that. Don't make a big deal out of it, don't mention it, please with him, discuss it or whatever.

I would not let him fill up on massive amounts of snacks either. With my little one, I'd offer her a mid morning snack, and a mid-afternoon sandwich or something, but keep an eye - if he won't eat lunch, but spends all afternoon looking for yoghurts, apples, bananas etc, then of course he won't eat dinner either. You kind of have to use your judgement a bit there.

They do go through phases of just not eating (he may have molars coming too, I seem to remember that my older girl's ones came around 19/20 months). And the more you try to push it, the quicker he'll realise that it's something he has power over and it will eventually become a bit of a power struggle. Just keep your cool (I know it's tough), say little or nothing, and move on each time. He will come round eventually.

bp

Same here, two dinners in months but since he is healthy and happy so trying my best to ignore it

joanene

Thanks for replies and good advice.

I think I need to be more relaxed around him at mealtimes times and not fuss so much. We are definitely doing the wrong thing at the moment giving him something else if he doesn't eat dinner....which I'm sure he's loving!
Just worried that he's losing weight but I know he's not going to starve.
A bit of tough love to start tomorrow!!

Thanks again

Cunning Stunt

Just want to chime in and say I have had this with my now 3 year old and am currently experiencing it with our 13 month old. She refuses dinner 90% of the time - doesn't matter what is served - she just won't eat it. I have learned not to worry about it. If they are hungry they will eat.

Neyite

It could be that ordinary food hurt him while he was sick and he's still remembering the soreness. If that's the case it will take a while for him to forget how certain foods stung or hurt his sore mouth. Maybe see if he might take mashed potato for you with a bit of carrot through it and gradually take it from there.

Smoothies are also something that might help. Our Hulk smoothie here goes down a treat - basically anything green goes into it, so spinach, lime, avocado for example with natural yoghurt and a dash of OJ. Forest fruits become an Iron Man smoothie etc.

I'd a fussy eater too. I never made it into a battle, because I knew I'd lose. My only rule was he had to try whatever it was he was refusing. Once he tried it, I let him off if he didn't want to eat it. If nothing appealed to him in what was served up he was offered porridge as an alternative to his dinner. That way he got a full tummy at least.

I also got him helping in the kitchen with me a bit more so we would chat about the foods and where they came from, what bits are edible and what bits aren't. Then he was all proud showing daddy what he 'cooked'.

There is still room for improvement but he's a lot better than he used to be- he actually eats a fair bit of veg for me now!

bp

What is slowly working for me is sneaking small amounts of new (used to eat) food into porridge or yogurt. So I start with one grape cut real small in porridge and then two a few days later than three etc. I also squeeze a segment or two of orange in every morning (getting used to the taste). A small bit of banana in yogurt or wheatabix (same consistency) and up it every few days. Just ate an entire banana here in a bowl of yogurt so actually got two bits of fruit into him today (mammy win!). Will eat bread so coat it in meat based sauce so some protein goes in.

I cut out the lunch time milk so only water now and water with dinner, milk an hour later before bed. No snacks two hours before any main meal

ncmc

I'm in the middle of this with 2.5 year old, I am finding it very stressful as I am 10 weeks pregnant and finding my patience isn't what it should be. She is living on a diet of toast, cornflakes, Ella's pouches and the odd bit of fruit. Occasionally she will eat chicken nuggets or sausage rolls, real healthy stuff :rolleyes: She fractured her elbow a few weeks ago so think that was the start of it and I think she had/has molars coming through too which probably isn't helping.

Is the consensus not to offer alternatives or cajole? My husband and I differ slightly on our approach, he is a bit of a softie and ends up making her cornflakes or toast!

Neyite

I did offer an alternative, but it was unsweetened porridge, rather than other cereals. My logic was that at least the warm meal would be filling and somewhat nutritious.

I only offered it after dinner time was past and it was clear he wasn't going to eat anything more. And he had to try one bite. It was ok to not like something but he had to try.

It seems to have paid off, as he is eating carrots, spouts, peas, mushrooms, kidney beans, etc and fresh fruit (peeled for now but hey!) and is willing to try more and more foods because he trusts that we wont make a big deal or make him eat more if he doesn't like it.

But it was frustrating and I was worried I'd end up with a kid who never ate a vegetable or fruit! So you have my sympathies

joanene

OP here and 2 weeks on there's not much improvement on the eating dinner.
After taking advice here we are a lot more relaxed around him at mealtimes and not making a fuss if he doesn't eat.
We try to offer dinner early in the day, which he usually refuses and don't give an alternative.
He usually eats a bit better in the evening because he's starving!

Diet now consists of:
Breakfast: weetabix or readybrek and toast (devours this every morning)
Dinner: Pasta pesto, homemade chicken goujons(sometimes), fish fingers or waffles which he only gets once a week. He has eaten a bit of rice the odd day
Tea: anything Bread related, cheese, yogurts, fruit pouches or cut up Strawberries, apricots,raisins, Grapes, Blueberries
Homemade pizza (passata and cheese on Pitta bread)
My saviour is savoury muffins with courgettes, egg, carrots and cheese which he loves.

He point black refuses any dinner with potatoes/meat/veg, which he's still offered alot and they are the days he goes hungry!

It's so stressful and I have since brought him to public healthnurse to get his weight checked but she said he's fine. She did say to cut out his bottles. We've cut the morning one but I haven't the heart to cut night one yet...he's still my little baby😢
I just have to hope he improves in time. He eats very little in creche which worries me too but like most people say he won't starve!!

It's great to read that other mammies are going through the same thing!

Musefan

Hi. Take a look at the attached image showing the "steps to eating". Have a think about where you're little one is with eating certain foods and try to gently encourage a move to the next step e.g. Touching food to the lips etc. Sounds like the little man got a fright when he had the hand foot and mouth etc so the memory of that pain will be there, so little steps might help!

ncmc

Joanene, that actually sounds like a pretty good mix of food, sounds like he's getting all the major food groups. A piece of advice I got and am trying to remember when I'm getting stressed with her, is to look at what they eat over a course of a week rather than day by day or meal by meal. If you take an overview of it, he probably is getting enough. Plus we have to remember, their stomachs are still very small, they do only need small portions.

Neyite

I agree, it sound like a pretty decent range there! honestly its not bad at all.