Waiting to TTC

xDisneyDivax

So as the title suggests, we are waiting for some things to fall into place before we begin trying to conceive especially jobs- we have been married 2 years and still hadn't got our honeymoon yet!:P
It's one of those things I feel like I can't really talk about with friends and family. So I thought it might be a good idea to have a thread for those waiting to TTC to chat but mods, you can delete this if you don't think it is appropriate

Neyite

As a mod here its fine by me - preparing to TTC is hugely important, so go for it.

For example, women should start taking folic acid at least 3 months before conception so should start taking it asap. Other women may want to do things like improve fitness, start healthier eating, quit smoking etc.

Men also have ways where they can work towards improving reproductive health, again, cutting down on stuff that's not so good for you, upping intake of stuff that is good for you and so on.

So this thread could be a great resource for you all to chat and share your tips and strategies.

xDisneyDivax

Great thanks Neyite!

I will start off about myself, we will be married 2 years soon. We only started talking about babies properly few months ago but we said we weren't ready and didn't have a clue when we would be ready. I came off pill last January to give my body a break as I was on it for 3 years and I usually take a break every 2 years. But I started feeling like I would like to get pregnant sooner than I thought recently!! I told the main man this last night so we talked a bit about it. I don't want a winter baby so it hit us that we don't have much time to wait if we're to have a baby in 2017! :P:eek:

I started taking comple vitamin B supplements with Folic Acid few months but stopped in Oct so I guess I need to start taking them again in case!

We were kinda hoping we would buy a house first before we get in whole craic of babies but it looks like it would be another few years for us to buy house! I'm also waiting to see if I will get a permanent position in public services.

xDisneyDivax

Thought I saw someone else post here a while ago....

I gotta say Christmas have made us think how nice it would be to have a child for next Christmas! But we're not quite ready I don't think so!

bee06

Is anyone ever really ready? There will always be something.

In my case, I wanted to change jobs first and then we waited another 3 months so I would be entitled to the company maternity benefit. A year and a half later and we're still trying. I don't tell you this to scare you but just to give a different viewpoint. I think most people work on the assumption they will get pregnant straight away but unfortunately it's not always the case.

catrionanic

I honestly don't think that people should hang about too much with TTC (unless you're like 21). If you're in a stable relationship and both want kids, and can reasonably afford it, then I think people need to go for it. Waiting for a house, waiting for a different job, waiting until you've gone travelling or whatever else - there'll always be a reason to wait a little longer, and so many couples end up regretting doing that.

1 in 6 couples will have fertility problems and that's a lot. Like I said, if you're Ina stable, loving relationship and have stable finances, now is your time!

fits

And sometimes you can't even wait for stability in all areas. We had a ridiculous year last year but a gun was put to my head re my fertility. Now or never. We were very lucky as the doctors thought I had left it too late.

pwurple

Folic acid all the way. Plus, it can take a while to get your head in the right place.

That being said... 'trying' to get pregnant is absolutely the least sexy thing in the world if there is anything that isn't working. After about 6 months of just not taking precautions it suddenly turned into a chore. We started trying when I was 28. I was 32 before baby number 1 arrived, and still got the whole oooh you're over 30 risky pregnancy palaver from doctors. Bloody hell like, it wasn't from lack of effort, but sometimes your body just doesn't cooperate.

And, if I was there all over again, I think I would maybe agree with himself that we were stopping birth control, and then say no more about it, even if I was going off getting follicle scans. I'm usually all about openess and discussion, but yeah, a bit of mystery is better in that aspect of life.

xDisneyDivax

bee06 wrote: »

Is anyone ever really ready? There will always be something.

In my case, I wanted to change jobs first and then we waited another 3 months so I would be entitled to the company maternity benefit. A year and a half later and we're still trying. I don't tell you this to scare you but just to give a different viewpoint. I think most people work on the assumption they will get pregnant straight away but unfortunately it's not always the case.

That is a good perspective to have though especially when we said we won't 'start' until I get a permanent job even though we stopped using anything and just avoid my ovulation week.

Don't know how we would feel about just letting it happen now when our finances aren't exactly stable with me finishing up in March even though I'm hoping to get a permanent job by then. We also would rather me be at healthy weight first but I'm on right track having lost nearly half stone already this week.

xDisneyDivax

Glad yas got pregnant pwurple & fits! So I guess part of you would have started earlier if you was to turn the clock back?

pwurple

xDisneyDivax wrote: »

Glad yas got pregnant pwurple & fits! So I guess part of you would have started earlier if you was to turn the clock back?

No, I think 28 was about right for us.. it eventually worked out, it just a LONG time to figure out what was going wrong and get it sorted. 4 years is a heck of a long time of pretending not to drink, of taking folic acid, of thinking of an excuse every time someone asks you if anything is stirring. For some of my friends who started later, it has not, worked out at all and adoption is not an option in this country either domestically, or internationally anymore since the hague thing. 
 I'm just really glad we didn't leave it any later than we did. If I was starting now, a decade later.... it may not have happened at all.

bee06

My one recommendation would be not to listen to doctors when they say they won't do tests until you've been trying a year. We were trying about 5 months and I knew something was wrong. I went to my doctor and she gave me the whole relax, wait a year, it will happen spiel but I knew something wasn't right. I went to another doctor and explained and they were happy to do the Day 3/21 blood tests and AMH blood test and it turned out I was right. I had PCOS and was referred to a fertility clinic. If I hadn't pushed for the initial blood tests we'd have wasted 6 months.

Toots

pwurple wrote: »

Folic acid all the way. Plus, it can take a while to get your head in the right place.

That being said... 'trying' to get pregnant is absolutely the least sexy thing in the world if there is anything that isn't working. After about 6 months of just not taking precautions it suddenly turned into a chore. We started trying when I was 28. I was 32 before baby number 1 arrived, and still got the whole oooh you're over 30 risky pregnancy palaver from doctors. Bloody hell like, it wasn't from lack of effort, but sometimes your body just doesn't cooperate.

And, if I was there all over again, I think I would maybe agree with himself that we were stopping birth control, and then say no more about it, even if I was going off getting follicle scans. I'm usually all about openess and discussion, but yeah, a bit of mystery is better in that aspect of life.

Over 30??? Jesus I thought it was over 35 before you started getting hassle :eek::( Did they need to do any extra tests or stuff like that? I'm 31 and IF I'm lucky enough to get preggers this year (15 months trying at this stage) I'd rather not the extra stress of that. Oh to be 25 and fertile again.

Digs

Toots wrote: »

Over 30??? Jesus I thought it was over 35 before you started getting hassle :eek::( Did they need to do any extra tests or stuff like that? I'm 31 and IF I'm lucky enough to get preggers this year (15 months trying at this stage) I'd rather not the extra stress of that. Oh to be 25 and fertile again.

In my experience (well in holles street anyway) it's still over 35, they class it as a "geriatric" pregnancy :O

I just had my second baby at 30 and no issue was made of it.

pwurple

Toots wrote: »

Over 30??? Jesus I thought it was over 35 before you started getting hassle :eek::( Did they need to do any extra tests or stuff like that? I'm 31 and IF I'm lucky enough to get preggers this year (15 months trying at this stage) I'd rather not the extra stress of that. Oh to be 25 and fertile again.

No, no extra tests or anything different whatsoever apart from extra scans maybe, but just every midwife and doctor we met seemed to mention it.

xDisneyDivax

I'm quite surprised to see that about over 30 too!!:eek: Never mind 35! Thought it was over 40!

Neyite

Not one medical professional has made a reference to my age while ttc or during ante-natal. And I was 34 when I started to Ttc, 37 giving birth and 41 when having more fertility treatment.

I think that the health of both potential partners counts for a lot more than just age. Age is just one of many potential issues that may never be an issue at all.

xDisneyDivax

So what advice would yas have for those thinking about it (or waiting to TTC)

catrionanic

xDisneyDivax wrote: »

So what advice would yas have for those thinking about it (or waiting to TTC)

Not to wait for very long!!!

How old are you anyway? Obviously how long you wait for is quite different when you're 25 as compared to 35.

Loveinapril

You are pregnant a long time, so things can fall into place during those months too. I started trying to concieve in the summer and two months later got pregnant. I miscarried in September and really thought I would get pregnant really soon after due to the speed of the first pregnancy but it is not happening. I am very aware of all the possible road blocks, now more than ever. If you are relatively stable in your life, start trying. It is unusual to get pregnant in the first month or two anyway but at least you will be on the way while still working towards your permanent job.

xDisneyDivax

catrionanic wrote: »

Not to wait for very long!!!

How old are you anyway? Obviously how long you wait for is quite different when you're 25 as compared to 35.

I'm 28 so I guess I'm closer to the middle

Neyite

xDisneyDivax wrote: »

So what advice would yas have for those thinking about it (or waiting to TTC)

That it's about balance. Sure, it would be nice to have the wedding/ house/ better job, but not if that is at the expense of your fertility. Age pushed us to have our baby right in the middle of being walloped by a big recession and you know, we got through it fine and managed with creche fees and all that. You muddle through it and babies and toddlers don't need you to own your own home.

As well as that, that just because you might be in your mid thirties or even pushing 40, it doesn't mean that you cant have the family you hoped for. Or that you might need fertility treatment. Some people simply don't meet the right person to have children with until later on.

And I fully agree with the advice to try and enjoy the process and not get too caught up on charting or temping or peeing on OPK.s right away. When you start to do that, sex can go from lovely and loving to clinical and boring/ stressful very easily.

If you are the female, don't give big detailed accounts of when and how you know you are fertile. Just jump him and tell him after the fact. Knowing beforehand could put him under a lot of pressure.

Just enjoy it and don't over think it.

Nerd Queen

If you are going to wait to ttc then get a full panel of bloods done and make sure there is no underlying problems now! I was 28 starting ttc and have been in the process over 16 months now but have been diagnosed with PCOS and a hypertonic pelvic floor that all have to be sorted before ttc can get fully back on track. So my advice is make sure you are 100% good to go for when you want to start if you are waiting.

xDisneyDivax

Nerd Queen wrote: »

If you are going to wait to ttc then get a full panel of bloods done and make sure there is no underlying problems now! I was 28 starting ttc and have been in the process over 16 months now but have been diagnosed with PCOS and a hypertonic pelvic floor that all have to be sorted before ttc can get fully back on track. So my advice is make sure you are 100% good to go for when you want to start if you are waiting.

Yeah I got full bloods done few months ago but I didn't say to test for fertility specifically. Should I? I actually think I said to check for reproduction issues but not sure now

rainemac

pwurple wrote: »

. For some of my friends who started later, it has not, worked out at all and adoption is not an option in this country either domestically, or internationally anymore since the hague thing. 

The "Hague thing" is not stopping adoption. Ireland has agreements in place with countries and adoption is actively happening internationally and domestically.

Nerd Queen

xDisneyDivax wrote: »

Yeah I got full bloods done few months ago but I didn't say to test for fertility specifically. Should I? I actually think I said to check for reproduction issues but not sure now

If you had a complete full panel of bloods it should show things like PCOS ETC. Getting a fertility check in a clinic would be good for piece of mind. I just wouldn't recommend waiting unless you know you have no obstacles. As someone who naively thought i'd be pregnant at least by now thats my advice

catrionanic

Nerd Queen wrote: »

If you had a complete full panel of bloods it should show things like PCOS ETC. Getting a fertility check in a clinic would be good for piece of mind. I just wouldn't recommend waiting unless you know you have no obstacles. As someone who naively thought i'd be pregnant at least by now thats my advice

For a couple of hundred quid, fertility clinics will do a check on both yourself and himself - ovarian reserves etc for yourself, sperm count etc for him. Worth doing for peace of mind, I think.

Myself and my husband have a contact in one of the companies, so we were going to go get everything checked out in our first month of TTC, as we've a family history of fertility problems on my side. My husband went and all was okay. Fortunately I was already pregnant by the time my appointment came around so I didn't go! However we figured it was sensible to check, rather than waiting a year or more TTC before we discovered a problem.

pwurple

rainemac wrote: »

The "Hague thing" is not stopping adoption. Ireland has agreements in place with countries and adoption is actively happening internationally and domestically.

Sure, for couples who were approved before hague. For couples approved since then, nothing.

And domestically, there were what... 5 in the whole country last year? and as far as i know all of those bar one were within families. So stepparents or grandparent adoptions.

mirrorwall14

Try and at least know if you have a regular period. It will help. I logged period and suspected ovulation (I dint go mad into temps or anything) before I got pregnant. Lucky I did because I ovulate incredibly early in my cycle so could have missed the boat for months before realising if I hadn't been checking. As it happened we got lucky and got pregnant in the first week which I think was a bit disappointing for my husband rofl 🙈

xDisneyDivax

Nerd Queen wrote: »

If you had a complete full panel of bloods it should show things like PCOS ETC. Getting a fertility check in a clinic would be good for piece of mind. I just wouldn't recommend waiting unless you know you have no obstacles. As someone who naively thought i'd be pregnant at least by now thats my advice

I asked my GP about testing for fertility- he said I would need to come back on 21st day of my cycle- would tests at GP be good enough or should I go to a fertility clinic?

Neyite

They are the same tests Diva - your GP /clinic will usually send them to the same blood lab. So go with whatever is cheaper.