Crap christmas presents...

fizzypish

Stepping Stone wrote: »

He is great in so many ways but the presents....

The poor lad. He hasn't realized some simple facts.
1. No vouchers, not personal enough
2. No clothes or perfume unless specifics are given. A bad perfume is ok (She'll smile at the thought) but you **** up a jumper and its too big/small, O LORDY, you have accidentally implanted body issues into your woman!!! Also everybody has their own particular style so unless you follow the lady around the shops on numerous days out to build up a style catalogue for her (which needs to be updated yearly) you'll get it wrong.

Lucyfur

Am I the only one who LOVES vouchers? It's a golden ticket for exactly what you want, no?

razorblunt

Stepping Stone wrote: »

My OH buys the worst presents. Every year, I give him a list with specific stuffwith links to websites. I give him a huge list, tell him to pick a few and spend abput €60 on stuff that I really want.

Inevitably, on Christmas morning I open about €500 of pure ****e from him. Vouchers that I will never use. I got a voucher for a jewellers last year that is just about as not my style as possible. Teddy bears (in my 30s), Superdry hoodies (not my style), tickets for concerts you couldn't pay me to go to (trad **** normally. I HATE trad). Last year was so bad that I forced him to return most of it. He was incredibly hurt but the gifts are so thoughtless and often selfish.

Again this year, he has it 'sorted' but actually it sold out, so he will 'sort' it. I want a jumper for €45 and a pair of slippers that I will use.

I know that I am in for Superdry (always asks me what clothes I like in there and I always say none.), a toy of some kind (don't like teddies anymore) and I am going to say some piece of jewellery that I have already told him that I don't like (Pandora bracelets and charms). Why I spend 12 thinking and planning his presents, I don't know.

Want to know which woman in work he fancies? Look out for the girl wearing Superdry gear!!

cml387

SNNUS wrote: »

My sister got a car sandwich toaster off long term boyfriend for xmas.. pretty much finished after that...

I read that as a cat sandwich toaster.
Different thing altogether.

TerrorFirmer

A shop I worked in years ago, a huge Polish guy, maybe around 30, returned a steam mop early on the 27th when we opened again, with a huge scowl on his face.

Didn't even have to ask what the story was when he started muttering in broken English '****ing bitch, always talking about this mop and then I give her gift and she start screaming and hitting me'

Amazing how some people get it so wrong. Wonder what he bought her with the refund....if he still had a girlfriend, that is.

Boom_Bap

Mrs Bap has a list of things she would like for Christmas stuck to the fridge. She thinks I haven't noticed it, but I took a snap and have it on my phone and have started to chip away at it.

She turns to me yesterday and says that she would love a laptop for her Christmas pressie.

I think I'll return all the stuff and get her an in-car sandwich toaster as it sounds like the greatest invention ever.

Cortina_MK_IV

I lived next door to 2 beautiful Polish lesbians. I brought out their wheelie bins and cut their grass at times. One Christmas they got me a lovely Seiko. They didn't understand when I said, "I wanna watch."

H3llR4iser

Never seen a bigger collection of ungrateful feckers in the same place, the Grinch has nothing on ye', I tell ya! :D:D

Lucyfur wrote: »

Am I the only one who LOVES vouchers? It's a golden ticket for exactly what you want, no?

I am on the same page; Actually I don't believe at all there's no "thought" behind a voucher - often times, the issue is quite the contrary: there's an absolute cr@pload of brain rattling that ultimately led to fatigue, disenchantment and defeat, hence the voucher. Also, what the voucher is for makes a big difference - get me one for Boots, and it's clear it's a random choice; Gimme one from Amazon, Steam, Gamespot, Marks Models, Maplin...and it's equally clear you at least know me a bit

I often have this issue with my brother - only 4 years between us, growing up together and whatnot, sure he'd be the easiest person to get a gift for? Problem is, we live 2000 km apart and he goes through "phases" faster than a teenage girl goes through fashions.

Last year I thought "sure, I'll get him something for the bike" - he had a Suzuki GSR600. I start looking, and mid-November he sells the bike. Then I go "all right, some cycling gear maybe" - and then I ask him about his bicycle, and he says he ain't using it anymore and is thinking of...you guessed it, selling it.

Then I go to a staple - something for the Playstation 4; A game, an accessory he's looking for / needs - but the problem is, I can't ask directly and can't go take a look at what he has. I asked out mom to "casually" check his games stash whenever she visited. She reported back "he has some games in blue boxes" and a black pad but "with no wire, like a remote control". Of course.

But he is Italy's most loyal Amazon customer (85% of whatever he has comes from there), so their gift vouchers saved my arse big time. And it's gonna be just as though this year...

Glenster

Cortina_MK_IV wrote: »

I lived next door to 2 beautiful Polish lesbians. I brought out their wheelie bins and cut their grass at times.

You mucky pup

Fox Hound

MintyMagnum wrote: »

A frying pan & a block of pretty blunt knives. From a soon to be ex.

How blunt? sometimes being too blunt with people can cut deep :P

Syndic

Got half a pack of scented wardrobe sachets from a Secret Santa last year.

I would never expect a Secret Santa present to be decent but I'm not even worth a full pack?

gramar

Syndic wrote: »

Got half a pack of scented wardrobe sachets from a Secret Santa last year.

I would never expect a Secret Santa present to be decent but I'm not even worth a full pack?

Hopefully the same person will get you this year and you'll get the other half.

oEmmao

anti-ageing cream, i was 29 at the time . . . . . ?!

whoopsadoodles

oEmmao wrote: »

anti-ageing cream, i was 29 at the time . . . . . ?!

Way too late to be given anti ageing cream.

whoopsadoodles

Syndic wrote: »

Got half a pack of scented wardrobe sachets from a Secret Santa last year.

I would never expect a Secret Santa present to be decent but I'm not even worth a full pack?

*someone* I know was given half a box of milk tray in a sandwich bag.

Yes. That happened.

No. It wasn't me.

05eaftqbrs9jlh

The whole present thing is shallow materialistic crap and none of it matters or will ever make any of you truly happy.

whoopsadoodles

Lorelei Loud Mountaineer wrote: »

The whole present thing is shallow materialistic crap and none of it matters or will ever make any of you truly happy.

Oooooh, someone didn't get the Polly Pocket they asked Santa for!

nermal15

I love getting household stuff as presents; have asked my parents for a hoover this year and last year my boyfriend got me a set of kitchen ware and I was delighted! I seem to be in the minority though.

Recent bad presents have included a penguin cookie jar that quacks when you open it and a carved wooden picture of Michael Jackson. But these were from my mam who has given me decades of wonderful pressies so I can't complain!

rainbowdrop

BetsyEllen wrote: »

I can't abide gift sets of shower gels, moisturisers etc.

So thoughtless, obviously someone has popped into Boots for the 3 for 2 offer.

The only item I ever use from them is the bubble bath. The rest sits on my dressing table for a while, gets dusty and then usually gets thrown out one day when I'm having a spring clean.
I can guarantee I'll get a set this year, I always do.

I would rather someone went to Penneys and got me a €6 set of PJ's or some socks, even a candle! Just as thoughtless but I would at least use them

I must be one of the few people that don't mind getting shower gel/body lotion sets. Saves me having to buy them til about April or May every year.

My Mam and Dad bought me a car jack a few years ago. As I unwrapped it, I was silently mouthing 'what the actual ****?' to myself, but to be fair, it has come in handy a few times.

Think the worst present I ever got was a Bjork album from my brother. He had found it on a bench outside the local HMV (brand new, still in the bag with receipt). I wouldn't mind so much, but I was with him when he found it and commented to him about how much I disliked her musicðŸ˜

Aw I think the boots 3 for 2 is great. I love so many things in there
They've stuff like mini jam sets and twinings tea sets and stuff as well now

whoopsadoodles

nermal15 wrote: »

Recent bad presents have included a penguin cookie jar that quacks when you open it!

Lucyfur is going to sh*t herself when she sees this.

Lucyfur

nermal15 wrote: »

I love getting household stuff as presents; have asked my parents for a hoover this year and last year my boyfriend got me a set of kitchen ware and I was delighted! I seem to be in the minority though.

Recent bad presents have included a penguin cookie jar that quacks when you open it and a carved wooden picture of Michael Jackson. But these were from my mam who has given me decades of wonderful pressies so I can't complain!

Oh my fcuking GOD!

I will give you my hoover (it's a really good one) my husband (also a really good one) and my whole kitchen, ware included, in exchange for the penguin cookie jar WOT QUACKS WHEN YOU OPEN IT!!!!! I NEEEEEEEED IT!!!!

Four Phucs Ache

When I was 14 I wanted a ghetto blaster but instead got a 20 quid Philips tape recorder.I was distraught and angry but didn't let it show.I told all my friends it was going to be the sh*t.I Sat in my room for hours sad and staring at it with its big red button to record your voice.You know the ones?

My mam called me about 5 hours later for dinner and I sulked downstairs, sat down and she gives me a plate with a scooter CD on it.I stared at her and ran into the living room and under the tree was a Panasonic cobra with CD player !! It was black and shiny with massive speakers. Fookin jizzed myself.

The b*stards.

dollyk

I buy my grandchildren wine for their stocking fillers,
with a little note that unwanted gifts can be returned.:D

dark crystal

A Cliff Richard calendar.

3 years ago.

valoren

A doll and a drum and a kick up the bum.

pilly

dark crystal wrote:

A Cliff Richard calendar.

I'll swop you that for a kitchen utensil set in the shape of a pig! ☺

I've been given a few of those multi-colored eyeshadow palettes. I rarely wear eyeshadow and there might be one color I'd actually use, if I'm lucky. Same with other cosmetics, I've never been given make up that I'd use.

Last year someone gave me a set of knickers with the days on the week on them, like I needed to be reminded or something.

fizzypish

Candie wrote: »

I've been given a few of those multi-colored eyeshadow palettes. I rarely wear eyeshadow and there might be one color I'd actually use, if I'm lucky. Same with other cosmetics, I've never been given make up that I'd use.

Last year someone gave me a set of knickers with the days on the week on them, like I needed to be reminded or something.

The knickers is kinda funny. Got the GF a blast of urban decay makeup a few years ago. She had mentioned how she liked that brand once so I cleverly remembered. I then purchased 2 different sets of the stuff so she'd like at least something (the old SHUTUP AND TAKE MY MONEY route of problem solving). I had thought there was sufficient make up to do the whole face. On Christmas I was informed that it was all just eye shadow.

Cupcake_Crisis

whoopsadoodles wrote: »

Same!

His had this little basket on it for "carrying" stuff. But if you put anything in it that weighed more than a fart it couldn't fly. For like 2 months afterwardsI was constantly getting hit in the head with a helicopter carrying like.... a grape of something.

fizzypish

fizzypish wrote: »

The knickers is kinda funny. Got the GF a blast of urban decay makeup a few years ago. She had mentioned how she liked that brand once so I cleverly remembered. I then purchased 2 different sets of the stuff so she'd like at least something (the old SHUTUP AND TAKE MY MONEY route of problem solving). I had thought there was sufficient make up to do the whole face. On Christmas I was informed that it was all just eye shadow.

At least you had some ballpark clue, and your heart was certainly in the right place. Anyone who's ever looked at my face knows that my idea of wearing a lot of makeup is when I put eyeliner on!

On the other hand, if your GF is in the market for more eyeshadow, I've about eight untouched palettes I can give you.

_Jamie_

Hugh Mungus wrote: »

I'm not even ungrateful... I'd rather they donate money on my behalf to the RSPCA than be all awkward on Christmas morning - fake loving my new tennis racket...I don't even play tennis...what were you thinking?!

Yes, it's the pointless gifts I hate at Christmas and it's not even about wanting something else, it's about the mindless commercialism of it all. I didn't need that extra pointless gift, why not donate to charity instead?

_Jamie_

LexieOnRale wrote: »

Vouchers maybe cause there's no thought in them but they're not a bad present

Vouchers are a great gift! I got a €150 Brown Thomas voucher as a wedding gift. I can finally get me some Ray-Bans!* I couldn't justify spending €150 odd on sunglasses myself so the voucher will allow me to treat myself to something I wanted but couldn't afford. I'm not big on people stressing themselves out trying to get me something thoughtful.

*my hubbie is using a €150 One4all voucher we also got to get himself a gaming chair so I'm not taking all our wedding gifts for myself.

_Jamie_

Halloween Jack wrote: »

Remote control helicopter from a parent, I was 29....

2007ish? I remember that fad. And standing there in bemusement, watching my 27 year old future brother-in-law flying a helicopter around my parents' living room one Christmas!

JupiterKid

Socks - I know they're practical, but they show no imagination. But clothes are always a bit risky for anyone you don't know too well - you might not know what they like. "Corporate" toy gifts for the office - done to death in the 80s and 90s.

I like to get my loved ones good books. I know what they like and they ate usually well received. Bath sets are fine for ladies you're aren't that close to. Perfume and aftershave - another tricky one. Unless you know the person's taste, that can be risky.

I usually enjoy and use Xmas gifts that I get and anything that's not to my liking I tend to recycle as gifts to others who might appreciate them more. Vouchers/gift cards are a safe bet but again show a lack of imagination.

In our world of plenty where people have most of what they want, it's not as easy getting gifts that are really useful.

And children? Toys and gifts for them can be a minefield but clothes unless its for babies are not going to be appreciated!

_Jamie_

JupiterKid wrote: »

Socks - I know they're practical, but they show no imagination.

I love getting socks.

Buckfast W

JupiterKid wrote:

And children? Toys and gifts for them can be a minefield but clothes unless its for babies are not going to be appreciated!

I had to get my niece some pokemon t shirts this year as I know that she'll at least wear them, if I got her another toy or something it would probably just end up going on the pile with all the others, I also don't mind socks ☺

nermal15

Lucyfur wrote: »

nermal15 wrote: »

I love getting household stuff as presents; have asked my parents for a hoover this year and last year my boyfriend got me a set of kitchen ware and I was delighted! I seem to be in the minority though.

Recent bad presents have included a penguin cookie jar that quacks when you open it and a carved wooden picture of Michael Jackson. But these were from my mam who has given me decades of wonderful pressies so I can't complain!

Oh my fcuking GOD!

I will give you my hoover (it's a really good one) my husband (also a really good one) and my whole kitchen, ware included, in exchange for the penguin cookie jar WOT QUACKS WHEN YOU OPEN IT!!!!! I NEEEEEEEED IT!!!!

You got it!!

MEGA BRO WOLF 5000

OP here... I'm actually doing this. Have told the family I want donations towards a local charity I chose. I am still however still getting one or two things I said I specifically want though!

Mink

Last Christmas id asked my husband for a particular ring I'd had my eye on and maybe a voucher so I could go clothes shopping.

Got the ring... And a huge Lego set.

I genuinely thought it was a joke but when I saw the box was still sealed and that there was no real present inside, I had to very quickly try and make it look like I was delighted.

He spent about 20 mins explaining that he got it as I'd once mentioned that it would be fun building Lego with our son when he's old enough (he was 3 at the time).

Said box was placed so I wouldn't have to look at it and I said no more about it and eventually 3 days later he offered the receipt.

Prime Irish Beef

Man, I'd love some lego for Christmas.

Lucyfur

nermal15 wrote: »

You got it!!

YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY \0/

Also. Lego is deadly!

Drakares

My face when I get a ****ty jumper that I'll never wear and my aunt is looking at my reaction

snowbabe

Summer wind wrote: »

Jo Malone perfume. 3 different bottles. It was worse than fly killer.

Will gladly take the jo malone from you ,I love it

Buckfast W

snowbabe wrote: »

Will gladly take the jo malone from you ,I love it

Lets turn this into a swap thread after Christmas, that way everyone gets what they want :P:D

pilly

Buckfast W wrote: »

Lets turn this into a swap thread after Christmas, that way everyone gets what they want :P:D

Absolutely, Swop Shop!

snowbabe

Buckfast W wrote: »

Lets turn this into a swap thread after Christmas, that way everyone gets what they want :P:D

Great idea ,but we're still getting rid of last years at the moment:):) I've baggesd the jo malone:) I've lots of good perfumes with tiny if any bits gone from them and some Clarins bits too ,not in boxs though .

Buckfast W

I've just had a horrible flash back to a Christmas past.

Can't remember what age I was maybe 14 or 15 there was a mobile phone shaped present under the tree. I was sooooooo excited I thought I was finally getting my first mobile phone.

When I opened it Christmas morning it was a shower gel bottle shaped like a mobile phone. My parents thought it was hilarious :mad:

In fairness a few years later they did get me a really good camera phone so I guess I'll be keeping them out of the old folks home...........for now

keano_afc

My estranged father was sired by the meanest man thats ever existed. One Christmas he bought me a toy from Hector Grey that cost about a quid, and for my brother he pushed the boat out. Got him a helmet, elbow and knee pads but nothing else. No skateboard, bike, or scooter. He'd gotten the pads in a raffle and just wanted rid of them.

Widdershins

fizzypish wrote: »

The knickers is kinda funny. Got the GF a blast of urban decay makeup a few years ago. She had mentioned how she liked that brand once so I cleverly remembered. I then purchased 2 different sets of the stuff so she'd like at least something (the old SHUTUP AND TAKE MY MONEY route of problem solving). I had thought there was sufficient make up to do the whole face. On Christmas I was informed that it was all just eye shadow.

Well, you could do the whole face in it.