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Useful things to do for new parents.

  • 01-12-2016 12:45am
    #1
    Registered Users Posts: 932 ✭✭✭


    I was thinking about this today. When you have a new baby (or esp when you have twins!) loads of people offer to help, but apart from the few that you will trust to babysit it can be hard to know what to ask them to do.

    I was thinking it might help if we listed a few things that we found useful when we brought our babies home to give new mothers/ fathers so ideas of things they could ask people to do.

    So my examples-

    my mother makes me a 2 litre jar of veg soup every week. It is a really easy and healthy lunch for me that doesn't involve thought or preparation!

    A friend of my husband's mowed our lawn once a week for the first few weeks. Not a big job but it was one less thing for us to get to.

    Feel free to add to this...


Comments

  • Closed Accounts Posts: 12,449 ✭✭✭✭pwurple


    Don't show up unannounced.

    Really, call or text first. It used to drive me completely bananas people arriving when the baby was about to nap and want to play, and then leaving when i had an overtired strung out baby after them.

    Offers of ironing, hoovering, clean the car were welcome here.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 850 ✭✭✭tickingclock


    People who brought dinner or good friends who make their own tea when they called when my toddler was a baby!


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 2,677 ✭✭✭PhoenixParker


    Bring food that can be easily eaten with a spoon, reheats well and tastes ok cold.

    Other then that sit on the couch and talk to me/pass me things while baby feeds endlessly.


  • Registered Users Posts: 446 ✭✭Anne_cordelia


    pwurple wrote: »

    Offers of ironing, hoovering, clean the car were welcome here.

    Really - clean your car?! That's bizarre. If someone offered to clean my car I'd be mortified. I would make food, help with older kids, wash dishes, stick on a wash no problem but do a completely unnecessary job like clean someone's car .... eh no!


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 13,636 ✭✭✭✭fits


    A friend of mine gave me some babygros and muslins last week, and she washed them for me beforehand!! ( she checked that i needed size first.)


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  • Closed Accounts Posts: 1,387 ✭✭✭D0NNELLY


    Well this is annoying. We had none of the above!


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 3,456 ✭✭✭scarepanda


    brokensoul wrote:
    A friend of my husband's mowed our lawn once a week for the first few weeks. Not a big job but it was one less thing for us to get to.


    This so much! My OH was up the walls all summer and didn't have time to spend cutting the lawns regularly (which are both decent sizes), especially with a temperamental old mower and I wasn't allowed to cut the lawns. Dad has a new tractor mower that he loves zipping around on and started coming up himself a few weeks before bubs was born. He'd have a far cleaner job done in half the time. So grateful to him for doing that job!

    Sometimes it's lovely to be able to hand baby over to someone you trust (to not to get them all worked up and hand baby back when needed) while ye sit and have a chat. My little one is all about being up in your arms all day (has been like this since the hospital and not a habit we've 'allowed' her to get into as some people like to tell us), and sometimes all I need to recharge is for someone to take her for 10/15 minutes where I can sit and relax. When she's napping etc I'm usually running around trying to get stuff done.


  • Registered Users Posts: 351 ✭✭Hazelnut Button


    My sister got me 4 sessions with a cleaner as a gift. It was a godsend. OH got her in day before we came home from hospital and then she came once a week for the first few weeks. It was the best thing ever.

    Also offering to hold baby for 15mins so you can go shower!


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 12,449 ✭✭✭✭pwurple


    Really - clean your car?! That's bizarre. If someone offered to clean my car I'd be mortified. I would make food, help with older kids, wash dishes, stick on a wash no problem but do a completely unnecessary job like clean someone's car .... eh no!

    Lol, i'd absolutely love someone to clean my car now! It's like a frikken office. A very dusty on the inside, muddy on the outside, full of ID cards and paperwork office. Gah. And it's a job I hate doing myself, even more than ironing. and, if I try to do it, the smallies want to help. :( impossible.

    Might just be me, and that I really really want someone to clean my car right at this moment. It never gets done at my house. :o

    Love boards usual craziness though! I should be dying with the holy mortification of even thinking about that "unnecessary job" rather than suggesting it. Grass cutting though, that's vital I tell ya. Lmao.


  • Moderators, Recreation & Hobbies Moderators, Social & Fun Moderators, Society & Culture Moderators Posts: 6,914 Mod ✭✭✭✭shesty


    Paying for a few cleaner sessions.....i would love that person forever.I had a cleaner through the health insurance first time round, it was amazing. I'd also recommend sending out your ironing, even just a couple of times after the birth....also an absolute godsend.(assuming nobody will do it for you!)
    Cleaning the car is odd, but I definitely understamd it.I'm this close to just sending mine to a valet right now.Since baba no.2 came I'm all for throwing money at this stuff!!

    And anyone who shows up at my door with a dinner after a birth is like an angel sent from heaven :-)


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  • Registered Users Posts: 446 ✭✭Anne_cordelia


    pwurple wrote: »
    Lol, i'd absolutely love someone to clean my car now! It's like a frikken office. A very dusty on the inside, muddy on the outside, full of ID cards and paperwork office. Gah. And it's a job I hate doing myself, even more than ironing. and, if I try to do it, the smallies want to help. :( impossible.

    Might just be me, and that I really really want someone to clean my car right at this moment. It never gets done at my house. :o

    Love boards usual craziness though! I should be dying with the holy mortification of even thinking about that "unnecessary job" rather than suggesting it. Grass cutting though, that's vital I tell ya. Lmao.
    I hate cleaning the car and would love someone to do it for me. That's not my point. My point is that it's an utterly bizarre and unnecessary thing for a friend to do for a new parent. I never suggested cutting the grass but it's a job that has to be done so I see where others are coming from.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 8,579 ✭✭✭brevity


    Keep your devices charged.
    Even if you think there is enough, charge it anyway. There's nothing worse when the baby falls asleep on you, you reach for the phone/tablet for a quick browse and there is only 15 percent left.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 12,449 ✭✭✭✭pwurple


    I hate cleaning the car and would love someone to do it for me. That's not my point. My point is that it's an utterly bizarre and unnecessary thing for a friend to do for a new parent. I never suggested cutting the grass but it's a job that has to be done so I see where others are coming from.
    Good grief, suit yourself. I found it handy and am contributing it. My brother offered to wash our car when I had a new baby and I took him up on it. I found it neither "bizarre" or "unnecessary", It's not a flight to the moon we're talking about. It was a hand with things we don't prioritise when there is a newborn around. I thought it was a kind and generous gesture, but maybe you like a maggoty car. :p (ps, that's a joke. )
    Anyway, another one I found super duper handy, was when a buddy came around and offered to mind the baby while I did something for myself. She said, "don't mind me now, baby will nap and I will read my book, you go sort your laundry or hop in the shower or whatever you want." I vividly remember with a newborn wondering how on earth anyone got time to have a shower, let alone dry their hair  with visitors calling and chatting to them over cuppas.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 1,601 ✭✭✭kandr10


    I can see how any of these suggestions are lovely things to do for people...however...none of my friends/family ever offered to do any of these things for me after having a baby and I never offered for them. is it really that common? Are we awful people?


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 17,495 ✭✭✭✭eviltwin


    kandr10 wrote: »
    I can see how any of these suggestions are lovely things to do for people...however...none of my friends/family ever offered to do any of these things for me after having a baby and I never offered for them. is it really that common? Are we awful people?

    Never had anyone do any of that for me either and would never offer tbh unless it was someone I was really really close to.


  • Moderators, Recreation & Hobbies Moderators, Social & Fun Moderators, Society & Culture Moderators Posts: 6,914 Mod ✭✭✭✭shesty


    No, nobody offered that stuff to us either. I don't really want anybody taking my baby for an hour or so, unless it's my mum, if I'm honest. I'm a bit weird that way. Parents cooked for us, and an aunt did show up with food which truly was amazing, but otherwise we managed.

    I think the OP has twins though, which is a whole other level of needing help!


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