House Share Problems

matchboxyouth

Hi,

I have all of sudden gone from living in quite a comfortable situation to one that is on my mind all day and causing quite a stress if I'm being honest. I just felt like venting out some of this and hopefully get some logical solutions and support/ or even some reality checks because I am aware that it is a house SHARE and it won't always be a bed of roses, I know that.
So, I am currently living in a 3 bed apartment in a student accommodation area, with two other guys that I did not know beforehand and met very rarely up until recently. Everyone sort of kept to themselves, house was always spotless and noise was kept to a minimum; the perfect household if you are a mature student like me who really wants to work hard at college and then have a place you can just relax in the evening.

The week before last, that all changed drastically. One of the lads got himself a new girlfriend, because one Friday evening I heard him come in with her and I thought fair enough. Then Saturday came and this time they arrived with two other people who I never met, who were out smoking and drinking in the sitting room(which my bedroom opens out onto I forgot to say), partied out there till 4am and slept there till midday.. She's been here every night since. The first time I met her(that Sunday), within 10 minutes of this she had an epileptic seizure and then another serious one, in which she was brought off to hospital. I had to help her with the seizures while on the phone to a paramedic, this was all a big shock as I'd never really dealt with a seizure before. She told the paramedic that came to the house that she gets these regularly, so this is something I potentially will have to deal with on a regular basis, which I'm not excited about as you can guess.
The thing that has been bothering me most about this though is the electricity.. We are on pinergy, so I have the app and see everything that is going in and out, every day, every week, every month. We had a daily usage of between €1.40 and €2.20 every single day since we moved in until the weekend she showed up. We now have a daily usage of €6.50 and up ever since. I've even started going home to the family for the weekend since this weekend, thinking that I could get away from the electricity and that for a few days.. And what did I come home to this evening? The house with no electricity at all and the meter at €-16.52. An even worse, them two in bed!
This girl is not a tenant in the house, but has made herself very comfortable here. I can move out to another apartment in the same area, it is an open option that reception have told me I can do, but I feel like a right fool having to even consider it.

Not quite sure what else to say, but this is long enough as it is! I appreciate any advice, recommendations, previous experience and even some pointers on how much are others paying in electricity these days.
Thanks very much to anyone with any help.

johnnyskeleton

Say to him that either she can only come over one or two nights a week or else she has to pay rent and bills like everyone else maybe?

BabySlam

Move out - you are lucky to have the option. Life's too short etc

Mrs OBumble

Just move.

Agree you shouldn't have to.

But a housemate who's allowed this to happen will allow other **** to happen. He should have been the one dealing with her seizures, not you. And if she's staying up 'til 4am drinking, she's not trying to keep them under control, either.

The chances of him moving out a slight. So take control and get yourself out of the situation.

elbandita

You need to say it first to your other roommate, surely they're unhappy about the situation too. Then the both of you say it to the fella with the new girlfriend. Back each other up. Parties once a week at most, and on the weekends, and if she's staying over constantly and the electricity is going up then she needs to contribute her share of the bill.

Dunno how all that will play out, depends on how you approach it and ultimately how sound he is.

matchboxyouth

Thank you everybody for the advice.
I kind of knew that the only realistic option here is to move out.
This is only going to get worse for me so it's best to get out of the situation entirely. They just let me know this evening that she's also pregnant. These are 20 years olds that have just started going out for Gods sake...

And just to make sure she lets me know that this problem is here to stay, she seems to have the immersion and hot water on all evening this evening... Just hours after me coming home and getting the electricity back on by putting another €20 in! It's incredible. They were sitting in darkness before I got back.
I'm sorry, I'm starting to rant again haha.
Thanks again everyone, much appreciated

Lumen

Why don't you just report your concerns to the landlord? Specifically, the fact that there is an extra unofficial licencee/tenant and that there's smoking in the living areas.

If you're considering moving anyway it seems like you don't have to worry about burning bridges.

matchboxyouth

Lumen wrote: »

Why don't you just report your concerns to the landlord? Specifically, the fact that there is an extra unofficial licencee/tenant and that there's smoking in the living areas.

If you're considering moving anyway it seems like you don't have to worry about burning bridges.

I emailed management last night and this morning I received a reply. They are aware of all that's been going on since last week. I initially raised the alarm to them because there was a 20 year old girl, that no one knew was there having seizures in my house and being rushed to hospital.. they had no clue. But any ways, they are very sorry what has been going on and they can definitely move me out. They gave me a list of 5 apartments with spare rooms and found one with a tenant the same age as myself. I'm meeting tomorrow with them to pick somewhere.
Back to your point though, I'm a bit surprised that management haven't taken a more aggressive approach to all this, as my housemate and his girlfriend are in breach of a lot of rules that I signed up to myself in September. But at this stage, a fresh start is all I care about.

groovyg

Op are you living on campus accommodation?

Eric Cartman

matchboxyouth wrote: »

Thank you everybody for the advice.
I kind of knew that the only realistic option here is to move out.
This is only going to get worse for me so it's best to get out of the situation entirely. They just let me know this evening that she's also pregnant. These are 20 years olds that have just started going out for Gods sake...

And just to make sure she lets me know that this problem is here to stay, she seems to have the immersion and hot water on all evening this evening... Just hours after me coming home and getting the electricity back on by putting another €20 in! It's incredible. They were sitting in darkness before I got back.
I'm sorry, I'm starting to rant again haha.
Thanks again everyone, much appreciated

yeah, leave, Ive lived with wasters who don't understand how electricity and heat works before, they will never learn. You just cannot teach some people that these things cost money. I'd say she has the heating on as much as she can, knowing you'll foot the bill.

pilly

matchboxyouth wrote: »

I emailed management last night and this morning I received a reply. They are aware of all that's been going on since last week. I initially raised the alarm to them because there was a 20 year old girl, that no one knew was there having seizures in my house and being rushed to hospital.. they had no clue. But any ways, they are very sorry what has been going on and they can definitely move me out. They gave me a list of 5 apartments with spare rooms and found one with a tenant the same age as myself. I'm meeting tomorrow with them to pick somewhere.
Back to your point though, I'm a bit surprised that management haven't taken a more aggressive approach to all this, as my housemate and his girlfriend are in breach of a lot of rules that I signed up to myself in September. But at this stage, a fresh start is all I care about.

Just make sure you're not going from the frying pan into the fire. After all if it's student accommodation chances are you could have problems with someone else. Probably less chance with someone your own age but if there's 3 people per apartment then who's the other one?

BrokenArrows

Eric Cartman wrote: »

yeah, leave, Ive lived with wasters who don't understand how electricity and heat works before, they will never learn. You just cannot teach some people that these things cost money. I'd say she has the heating on as much as she can, knowing you'll foot the bill.

Ya the fact that they let the thing go negative and were sitting in the dark means they wont change. If they dont care to even pay their own way then **** them.

Caliden

Eric Cartman wrote: »

yeah, leave, Ive lived with wasters who don't understand how electricity and heat works before, they will never learn. You just cannot teach some people that these things cost money. I'd say she has the heating on as much as she can, knowing you'll foot the bill.

I'd say move out. Sounds like they happily live in the cold and dark than pay for electricity and with this new girl on the scene this will be just the start of it.

You're lucky to have the option to move out.

Eric Cartman

BrokenArrows wrote: »

Ya the fact that they let the thing go negative and were sitting in the dark means they wont change. If they dont care to even pay their own way then **** them.

definitely, there are some people on this planet who insist on being kept at 25+ degrees every second of every day , yet will never put their hand in their pocket to pay a bill. Never go out with one of them, never live with one of them, never even invite one to stay for the weekend. You can never educate a heat leech on their behaviour, they genuinely believe that being toasty is a human right or something.

matchboxyouth

pilly wrote: »

Just make sure you're not going from the frying pan into the fire. After all if it's student accommodation chances are you could have problems with someone else. Probably less chance with someone your own age but if there's 3 people per apartment then who's the other one?

This was my only concern with moving, but I have a meeting with management tomorrow where I will be finding out who is living in the apartments that have spare rooms. They can tell me the age bracket, if they're 1stYr/2ndYr/3rd etc...
I'm relieved to see how many people are supporting of my view on this, because I had somehow managed to convince myself that maybe I was being "that moan-y housemate", but its not the case. If anything I have been to lenient over all this.

pilly

matchboxyouth wrote: »

This was my only concern with moving, but I have a meeting with management tomorrow where I will be finding out who is living in the apartments that have spare rooms. They can tell me the age bracket, if they're 1stYr/2ndYr/3rd etc...
I'm relieved to see how many people are supporting of my view on this, because I had somehow managed to convince myself that maybe I was being "that moan-y housemate", but its not the case. If anything I have been to lenient over all this.

No you're well within your rights. The one thing I will say though is that you haven't actually said it to your housemate? I do find if you're going to share with anyone you have to be able to bring things up that you're not happy with.

Other posters are probably right in the sense that if they were sitting there with the electricity in minus they obviously don't give a crap about you but in some cases younger people, especially if it's their first time away from home don't realise what they're doing and cop on with a talking to.

What does your other housemate think?

Help!!!!

OP do you like where your staying now? Why can management not move the couple out rather than you having to move? Surely the other people in the house aint gonna want to live with them when theres a baby involved.

El_Duderino 09

Eric Cartman wrote:

yeah, leave, Ive lived with wasters who don't understand how electricity and heat works before, they will never learn. You just cannot teach some people that these things cost money. I'd say she has the heating on as much as she can, knowing you'll foot the bill.

This is exactly what I was thinking.

I lived with people in their early 20s when I was late 20s. Some people only grow up as much as they absolutely have to. You're not happy to live in darkness because nobody will buy electricity, but they can live in darkness knowing that you'll sort it out when you get home. You're the lowest common denominator -in a good way.

We ran out of electrical one night and the guy who's turn it was to buy the electricity was about to go on a night out when I told him he needed to go yet leci first. It never occurred to him and he was perfectly happy to leave us in darkness until whenever he got a grip on his hangover the next day.

It sickened me when we went our separate ways and he took on my role with his dippy girlfriend. He bitched to me about how messy she is and how he has to take care if all the bills etc.

As I said, people only grow up as much as they have to. You're better off moving of that's a cheap option.

the_syco

matchboxyouth wrote: »

But any ways, they are very sorry what has been going on and they can definitely move me out. They gave me a list of 5 apartments with spare rooms and found one with a tenant the same age as myself. I'm meeting tomorrow with them to pick somewhere.

It's very good that they let you move, and maybe an idea not to say anything to the existing housemates until you've moved out.

matchboxyouth

the_syco wrote: »

It's very good that they let you move, and maybe an idea not to say anything to the existing housemates until you've moved out.

Yes there are 6 or 7 apartments with spare rooms in the village (for legit reasons, short term courses etc), so with some thought out into which apartment makes most sense for me, things should be fine before I head home for Xmas. As for not telling them, I could do this and really I'll be moving my stuff out through my bedroom window as it is ground floor and opens out on to the parking area, which are only at the back. This saved me walking all the way around the house and through the sitting room when moving in so it will be the same on the way out. So I could be pretty much moved out, without them even noticing, but I feel I'll be letting them know quickly on the day. I won't be the one to inform them just how unprepared they are for independent living, I'll let someone else take up that bill. I will say a bigger room came up which I applied for at the beginning of the year and it has now popped up. Something simple like that.

pilly wrote: »

No you're well within your rights. The one thing I will say though is that you haven't actually said it to your housemate? I do find if you're going to share with anyone you have to be able to bring things up that you're not happy with.

Other posters are probably right in the sense that if they were sitting there with the electricity in minus they obviously don't give a crap about you but in some cases younger people, especially if it's their first time away from home don't realise what they're doing and cop on with a talking to.

What does your other housemate think?

I have mentioned it. Yesterday was the first real day where it was obvious that I was unhappy with how things have gone the last week. So he knows, but he's dealing with a very wirey, loud kind of girl..and he's the opposite. So she has him wrapped around her finger, And as long as she can have it her way around the house, she'll be happy out. She doesn't give a shi*te about me.
The other lad does be in his room a lot. And really only stays there maybe 3 nights a week. I'm sure he's noticed the change in the house. But as for the other two, yes they've been told yesterday that I'm not happy with the amount of electricity the house is now using.

lawred2

Eric Cartman wrote: »

yeah, leave, Ive lived with wasters who don't understand how electricity and heat works before, they will never learn. You just cannot teach some people that these things cost money. I'd say she has the heating on as much as she can, knowing you'll foot the bill.

Sounds to me she knows full well how it works. Muggins will pay.

pilly

matchboxyouth wrote: »

Yes there are 6 or 7 apartments with spare rooms in the village (for legit reasons, short term courses etc), so with some thought out into which apartment makes most sense for me, things should be fine before I head home for Xmas. As for not telling them, I could do this and really I'll be moving my stuff out through my bedroom window as it is ground floor and opens out on to the parking area, which are only at the back. This saved me walking all the way around the house and through the sitting room when moving in so it will be the same on the way out. So I could be pretty much moved out, without them even noticing, but I feel I'll be letting them know quickly on the day. I won't be the one to inform them just how unprepared they are for independent living, I'll let someone else take up that bill. I will say a bigger room came up which I applied for at the beginning of the year and it has now popped up. Something simple like that.



I have mentioned it. Yesterday was the first real day where it was obvious that I was unhappy with how things have gone the last week. So he knows, but he's dealing with a very wirey, loud kind of girl..and he's the opposite. So she has him wrapped around her finger, And as long as she can have it her way around the house, she'll be happy out. She doesn't give a shi*te about me.
The other lad does be in his room a lot. And really only stays there maybe 3 nights a week. I'm sure he's noticed the change in the house. But as for the other two, yes they've been told yesterday that I'm not happy with the amount of electricity the house is now using.

Did they give you any extra money towards the electricity? :mad:

matchboxyouth

pilly wrote: »

Did they give you any extra money towards the electricity? :mad:

So a little update on how this situation has played out over the last 3 days. I came back Monday evening from home, thinking that going home would get me away from the situation and responsibility of paying for electricity over them days. What they use, is their business over that period. But no, it worked out nothing like that. I came home to everything off, electricity had obviously been off a few hours as all the food was getting warm in the fridge. I put in €5 in darkness thinking that the lights would come on. No. The pinergy app then updates on my phone and says it is still -€11.52. It usually switches off at -€5.. They had used 16 quid over 2 and a half days and not paid for any of it!! So I put in ANOTHER €10, thinking this would get us into the bracket that the elec would come back on... Nope.. I used the last €15 I had in my account, which usually acts as my emergency for the week, which usually stretches just fine til payday Thursday so I had to go up to the shop and manually pay ANOTHER €5 in change I had for Pinergy credit to get our elec back on. But the worst part about all that which I mentioned earlier, they were sitting in their bloody room in the dark the whole time, while I did all this!!!
Even reading this back now, I know how ridiculous this situation is..

Anyway, today was the day I had organised to sort which apartment I would be moving to, and when I went to management to do this, one of the women informed me that it got sorted and she won't be back anymore. She added it was nothing to do with me, but for "other reasons"..
Very strange. But she added that the girl was coming with a lift to pick up her belongings within the hour.. So now I guess I wait. While I am here in college revising for exams I have Monday, I'm hoping my household is returning to normal as I type. As for the €20? Well there is the bf, who is my housemate, so he'll be footing the bill. But honestly? I'd pay triple that if I knew I was to never see her in my house again.
I just hope things don't return to the way they were, which is obviously a possibility as long as they're together

pilly

<quote snipped >

Ah stop, I would be flipping altogether. No way should you put up with that but seriously, it's not just because she's there, he's there with her, why didn't he get up off his hole and go and get some electricity? I would be fuming. And what about your other housemate? Does he ever buy electricity. You're getting walked on here OP and don't count on it being solved by your woman being gone. Her boyfriend, your housemate is just as bad.

lawred2

<quote snipped>

Well you keep paying so it's no wonder that they keep letting you do so. Act like a doormat and you'll be a doormat.

road_high

matchboxyouth wrote: »

So a little update on how this situation has played out over the last 3 days. I came back Monday evening from home, thinking that going home would get me away from the situation and responsibility of paying for electricity over them days. What they use, is their business over that period. But no, it worked out nothing like that. I came home to everything off, electricity had obviously been off a few hours as all the food was getting warm in the fridge. I put in €5 in darkness thinking that the lights would come on. No. The pinergy app then updates on my phone and says it is still -€11.52. It usually switches off at -€5.. They had used 16 quid over 2 and a half days and not paid for any of it!! So I put in ANOTHER €10, thinking this would get us into the bracket that the elec would come back on... Nope.. I used the last €15 I had in my account, which usually acts as my emergency for the week, which usually stretches just fine til payday Thursday so I had to go up to the shop and manually pay ANOTHER €5 in change I had for Pinergy credit to get our elec back on. But the worst part about all that which I mentioned earlier, they were sitting in their bloody room in the dark the whole time, while I did all this!!!
Even reading this back now, I know how ridiculous this situation is..

I actually can't believe you keep paying this money for these scumbags OP- if this was me their door would be banged down until they physically handover the cash or however you pay it. Their piss taking is gone beyond all at this stage.
P.S. I don't see why the fcuk you should be moving out anywhere?