Fair City [News, Spoilers and Discussion v7] Read Post #1 Before Contributing

fin12

That was brilliant when Callum punched Oisin in the stomach, long over due.

maurv1

Don't know if it was mentioned here before(too many posts to read:)), but how did Dermo manage to have a load of cash..well there seemed to be at least a few hundred there.?

The state of him in the van..any chance your man driving the van might ..um.. "lose" him somewhere along the way ?

Cormdogg

Woah woah woah. What was that? What the f*ck was that?

The one time Ben is let off by himself andhe f*cks it up. He had to browse the comics in Spar! This is a kid with a Xbox!

What was the point of Dermot getting all the fake passports if they were gonna f*ck him in the back of a van? WHERE ARE THEY DRIVING HIM?????

Also he was going to bring his 400k out of the country in cash!!!! Some accountant!

I say one thing. Out of all the madness tonight. Stripey & Gripeys relationship is actually the most unrealistic thing.

I usually get a good laugh out of FC but tonight was just FUBAR

youwould

They should've just let Dermot snuff it on Christmas Day and be done with it.

freshpopcorn

Happier times!

sligojoek

Zak with the Kilkenny top.

Thought he was a rugger bugger.

The Parish Priest.

Soooooo they were abandoning Zoe then ? The poor girl would arrive home and all her family gone.... Riiiight.

Pretzill

The plan is f*cked we all know that. Jane turning up in disguise to the 'safe House' round the corner - Binjimin perusing the Spar comic section (why don't the extra's that spend hours on the fizzy drinks wander over there?) Recognised from behind by Oisin -

Callum though, he was good tonight - spurred on by Jane in Darth Vader mode "callum I am your father" chooses decency over greed and rescues little Binjimin from the Don "I'm going to make you hot chocolate you can't refuse" Paulioni

Then dying then not dying then might actually fecking die Dermish gets thrun into the back of a hiace and forgets the effing money!! What money? How much now Dermish? Is that the bus fare back from Mallow cos that's where you're going - better than Mexico, Morocco or Muff - once you go to Mallow from Fair City you're never seen again!

youwould

sligojoek wrote: »

Zak with the Kilkenny top.

Thought he was a rugger bugger.

I'd say the young fella didn't even know where Kilkenny was, never mind born and reared there.

sligojoek

sligojoek wrote: »

Good. Maybe Jane will get back behind the bar where she belongs.

Wayne and Orla are reading.

coolhull

Jaysis, lads, you're all on fire tonight! :D:D:):)

I suspect that the top management in RTE Drama are dining on Lobster Thermidor, sipping on Moet Chandon champagne and puffing Cuban cigars, all the time getting angrier and angrier reading this thread.

Mr Big Bossman : ''So, those Boardies think they're a bunch of comedians, do they? Right, tonight let's show them what comedy really is....
Quenten! Nigelo! Clarenten! Get your asses over here. Now! I want this episode written, 'acted', the cameras rolling , and tonight's episode ready to televise within the next 30 minutes.''

Floor Manager : ''But we don't have a script yet, Supreme Leader! How can we have a FC episode without a script?''

Mr Big Bossman : ''Go out to the play area where our 45 writers are playing Ker-plunk. Grab about twenty of them and tell them to go to separate corners of the room, with half a foolscap page each. They're not to get together to discuss it, they're just to write down whatever pops into their head. Then bring me whatever they've written, and start the cameras rolling.''

Floor manager : ''But, but, Excellency, then the episode won't make any sense!''


Mr. Big Bossman (chuckling) : ''It's Fair City, remember? We've never made a sensible episode yet, and we're not going to start now. Right, people, let's get this show on the road! Now go. Go!''

---

Scene 1: The Brennan Mansion

Oisin : ''What's that, Callum? You think you can take me on? Go ahead , make my day, tough guy!''
Callum : ( stands up, says nothing) WALLOP! ZAP! KAPOW!
Oisin collapses in a near-coma : ''Hey, that's not fair! You hit me! Dad! Dad! He hit me!''
Paul : ''Take it easy, sonnnnnn , will ya?''


Scene 2 : The Safe House That Everyone Knows About..

Dermot : (Face sprinkled with Johnson's Baby Powder) Takes two small bundles of 50-euro notes from a Lidl shopping bag .........
''So, is this what has been driving viewers demented for the last three months? Hardly worth it, was it?.....Ow, ow, me belly!''

Enter Jane, (wearing a silk scarf and huge sunglassess)
''Sorry I'm late, I was auditioning for the stage production of 'Jackie Kennedy, The Musical'. Anything happenin'?
Greasy : ''Naw, just Dermish agonising over whether to send back the money, keep half of it, pay Zoe's plane fare home, swap Binjimin for a real boy actor, or maybe give it to Apollo House.''
Jane: ''Oh, that ould sh1te again. Sure I'm sick listening about the Plan and the money. At this stage, as far as I'm concerned, he can wipe his arse with it...''

Scene 3 : The Back Road to RTE....

Greasy : ''Just get in the fukkin van, Dermot. The driver is just an extra, and if he has to say something, it'll cost RTE even more money.''
Dermot : ''No! I'm not leaving without Ben!''
Greasy : ''Fair play to ya, most other people would be glad to leave the obnoxious little bollix behind.''

Final Scene : Rear of the Hiace van.

Dermot : Stop, driver, stop! If you let me out, I'll give you 35% of my share of the money that's left from the Plan. That would come to, let me see.....About 14 euro and 80 cent. Here, hang on, let me get it out of the bag for you............Oh, sh1t! Sh!t! Sh1t!

THE END

Roll Credits..........

---

Back at RTE Studio Four :

Floor Manager : ''Your most High Lordship, it's ready for broadcasting now. I'm just a bit worried that viewers might be confused by the whole thing.''

Big Boss Man : '' Don't be stupid, Baldrick. Look, you're confused, the 'actors' are confused, the scriptwriters are confused, and I haven't a fookin clue what's happening either. Why shouldn't the viewers have to suffer like the rest of us? Broadcast bedamned! And don't forget the Chill Insurance ad...''

flowerbattle

The only thing I'm skeptical of is that, when it comes to FC, big changes like what happened tonight are so quickly reversed that I wouldn't be surprised if Dermish was back working as the accountant to the Don and Mouldy-Coat (the happy couple) in September with Oisín still moaning on about the Speakeasy.

youwould

coolhull wrote: »

Jaysis, lads, you're all on fire tonight! :D:D:):)

I suspect that the top management in RTE Drama are dining on Lobster Thermidor, sipping on Moet Chandon champagne and puffing Cuban cigars, all the time getting angrier and angrier reading this thread.

Mr Big Bossman : ''So, those Boardies think they're a bunch of comedians, do they? Right, tonight let's show them what comedy really is....
Quenten! Nigelo! Clarenten! Get your asses over here. Now! I want this episode written, 'acted', the cameras rolling , and tonight's episode ready to televise within the next 30 minutes.''

Floor Manager : ''But we don't have a script yet, Supreme Leader! How can we have a FC episode without a script?''

Mr Big Bossman : ''Go out to the play area where our 45 writers are playing Ker-plunk. Grab about twenty of them and tell them to go to separate corners of the room, with half a foolscap page each. They're not to get together to discuss it, they're just to write down whatever pops into their head. Then bring me whatever they've written, and start the cameras rolling.''

Floor manager : ''But, but, Excellency, then the episode won't make any sense!''


Mr. Big Bossman (chuckling) : ''It's Fair City, remember? We've never made a sensible episode yet, and we're going to start now. Right, people, let's get this show on the road! Now go. Go!''

---

Scene 1: The Brennan Mansion

Oisin : ''What's that, Callum? You think you can take me on? Go ahead , make my day, tough guy!''
Callum : ( stands up, says nothing) WALLOP! ZAP! KAPOW!
Oisin collapses in a near-coma : ''Hey, that's not fair! You hit me! Dad! Dad! He hit me!''
Paul : ''Take it easy, sonnnnnn , will ya?''


Scene 2 : The Safe House That Everyone Knows About..

Dermot : (Face sprinkled with Johnson's Baby Powder) Takes two small bundles of 50-euro notes from a Lidl shopping bag .........
''So, is this what has been driving viewers demented for the last three months? Hardly worth it, was it?.....Ow, ow, me belly!''

Enter Jane, (wearing a silk scarf and huge sunglassess)
''Sorry I'm late, I was auditioning for the stage production of 'Jackie Kennedy, The Musical'. Anything happenin'?
Greasy : ''Naw, just Dermish agonising over whether to send back the money, keep half of it, pay Zoe's plane fare home, swap Binjimin for a real boy actor, or maybe give it to Apollo House.''
Jane: ''Oh, that ould sh1te again. Sure I'm sick listening about the Plan and the money. At this stage, as far as I'm concerned, he can wipe his arse with it...''

Scene 3 : The Back Road to RTE....

Greasy : ''Just get in the fukkin van, Dermot. The driver is just an extra, and if he has to say something, it'll cost RTE even more money.''
Dermot : ''No! I'm not leaving without Ben!''
Greasy : ''Fair play to ya, most other people would be glad to leave the obnoxious little bollix behind.''

Final Scene : Rear of the Hiace van.

Dermot : Stop, driver, stop! If you let me out, I'll give you 35% of my share of the money that's left from the Plan. That would come to, let me see.....About 14 euro and 80 cent. Here, hang on, let me get it out of the bag for you............Oh, sh1t! Sh!t! Sh1t!

THE END

Roll Credits..........

---

Back at RTE Studio Four :

Floor Manager : ''Your most High Lordship, it's ready for broadcasting now. I'm just a bit worried that viewers might be confused by the whole thing.''

Big Boss Man : '' Don't be stupid, Baldrick. Look, you're confused, the 'actors' are confused, the scriptwriters are confused, and I haven't a fookin clue what's happening either. Why shouldn't the viewers have to suffer like the rest of us? Broadcast bedamned! And don't forget the Chill Insurance ad...''

You've done it again my friend!

sligojoek

Well done well done, Keeoooolhuull. Marvellous wonderful stuff. Point well made. Safe travelling, god bless..

I'm not sure if the rest of you feel the same, but I want to nominate coolhull for a prize.

We're gonna have to create the prize I guess.

Strazdas

Cormdogg wrote: »

Just catching up now, anyone else think that the opening scene with Jackie Kennedy and Dermot stuffing rold up €50 notes into a pillow case was a wind up for our sake? Just to give us a laugh. God I love how John Deegan keeps getting brought into it!

I'm almost convinced they're playing it for laughs, especially when I saw Jane in the opening scene as Jackie Kennedy with the 1960s type scarf and the large sunglasses. Is the whole thing an April Fools joke at our expense?

hungrypig

Cool hull, I'm lying here beside two sick children pissing myself laughing. That was one of your funniest ever. I'm laughing really loud, one of them has a vomiting bug. I had tears rolling down my cheeks reading that one.
Bravo coolhull

vkid

WE should really all take a minute to remember poor KT...

Flippyfloppy

That was fantastic coolhull. Attention to deal or what?!? Take it easy sonnnnn will ya?!

Sephiroth_dude

bottlebrush wrote: »

have robbie and callum ever met again since the great garage robbery?

No they Havent........I'm guessing the writers forgot about that and the fact that his thugs bate the living jaysus outta him and left him for dead :rolleyes:

nagdefy

Magnificent Coolhull!

Rest assured, whatever your day job is, you'd easily have a career in writing. Especially comedy sketches:)

alexonhisown

That episode was hilarious. Who took the money from dermos bag? Dermo checked it a few times. "Go back, We forgot the money" hilarious.

The Parish Priest.

Would I be right in thinking that this whole The plan/Fahey Family storyline over the past few months is the most ridiculous Fair City has ever gone in terms of suspension of reality ?????? From Ben's life long illness which vanished into thin air, Jo shacking up with an American doctor, Deirdre falling into a black hole to Zoe being abandoned by not just one but both foster parents

bottlebrush

The Parish Priest. wrote: »

Would I be right in thinking that this whole The plan/Fahey Family storyline over the past few months is the most ridiculous Fair City has ever gone in terms of suspension of reality ?????? From Ben's life long illness which vanished into thin air, Jo shacking up with an American doctor, Deirdre falling into a black hole to Zoe being abandoned by not just one but both foster parents

I think dermot getting the new liver so quickly could be added to the list. you would think all the hospital had to do was to Google 'liver' , then choose from a selection and then decide on one 'sure that one will do grand', slap in the credit card number and it arrives by swift post the next day.

must give tremendous hope to transplant hopefuls all around the world.

Flippyfloppy

Flippyfloppy wrote: »

That was fantastic coolhull. Attention to deal or what?!? Take it easy sonnnnn will ya?!

great stuff Coolhull.........you better not be leaving? we'd miss you here

I couldn't stop laughing at the van speeding off with Dermot inside shouting. No money, no Ben, no Jane, going nowhere. So much for a plan!

A few months ago a diagnosis of terminal cancer, then a liver transplant, dying again this week on the couch, a miraculous recovery to have a call with Paul (then Niamh), crawling yellow faced to the shower .....only to be manhandled and dumped into the back of a van with a 2 week old transplanted liver (probably still full of internal stitches) by his best friend Robbie (!) .........and driven off to God knows where with nothing! Talk about bad luck.

total comedy.......you couldn't make it up!

The Parish Priest.

bottlebrush wrote: »

I think dermot getting the new liver so quickly could be added to the list. you would think all the hospital had to do was to Google 'liver' , then choose from a selection and then decide on one 'sure that one will do grand', slap in the credit card number and it arrives by swift post the next day.

must give tremendous hope to transplant hopefuls all around the world.

I Challenge anyone to come up with a list of CREDIBLE scenarios in the entire storyline:D

LushiousLips

coolhull wrote: »

Jaysis, lads, you're all on fire tonight! :D:D:):)

I suspect that the top management in RTE Drama are dining on Lobster Thermidor, sipping on Moet Chandon champagne and puffing Cuban cigars, all the time getting angrier and angrier reading this thread.

Mr Big Bossman : ''So, those Boardies think they're a bunch of comedians, do they? Right, tonight let's show them what comedy really is....
Quenten! Nigelo! Clarenten! Get your asses over here. Now! I want this episode written, 'acted', the cameras rolling , and tonight's episode ready to televise within the next 30 minutes.''

Floor Manager : ''But we don't have a script yet, Supreme Leader! How can we have a FC episode without a script?''

Mr Big Bossman : ''Go out to the play area where our 45 writers are playing Ker-plunk. Grab about twenty of them and tell them to go to separate corners of the room, with half a foolscap page each. They're not to get together to discuss it, they're just to write down whatever pops into their head. Then bring me whatever they've written, and start the cameras rolling.''

Floor manager : ''But, but, Excellency, then the episode won't make any sense!''


Mr. Big Bossman (chuckling) : ''It's Fair City, remember? We've never made a sensible episode yet, and we're going to start now. Right, people, let's get this show on the road! Now go. Go!''

---

Scene 1: The Brennan Mansion

Oisin : ''What's that, Callum? You think you can take me on? Go ahead , make my day, tough guy!''
Callum : ( stands up, says nothing) WALLOP! ZAP! KAPOW!
Oisin collapses in a near-coma : ''Hey, that's not fair! You hit me! Dad! Dad! He hit me!''
Paul : ''Take it easy, sonnnnnn , will ya?''


Scene 2 : The Safe House That Everyone Knows About..

Dermot : (Face sprinkled with Johnson's Baby Powder) Takes two small bundles of 50-euro notes from a Lidl shopping bag .........
''So, is this what has been driving viewers demented for the last three months? Hardly worth it, was it?.....Ow, ow, me belly!''

Enter Jane, (wearing a silk scarf and huge sunglassess)
''Sorry I'm late, I was auditioning for the stage production of 'Jackie Kennedy, The Musical'. Anything happenin'?
Greasy : ''Naw, just Dermish agonising over whether to send back the money, keep half of it, pay Zoe's plane fare home, swap Binjimin for a real boy actor, or maybe give it to Apollo House.''
Jane: ''Oh, that ould sh1te again. Sure I'm sick listening about the Plan and the money. At this stage, as far as I'm concerned, he can wipe his arse with it...''

Scene 3 : The Back Road to RTE....

Greasy : ''Just get in the fukkin van, Dermot. The driver is just an extra, and if he has to say something, it'll cost RTE even more money.''
Dermot : ''No! I'm not leaving without Ben!''
Greasy : ''Fair play to ya, most other people would be glad to leave the obnoxious little bollix behind.''

Final Scene : Rear of the Hiace van.

Dermot : Stop, driver, stop! If you let me out, I'll give you 35% of my share of the money that's left from the Plan. That would come to, let me see.....About 14 euro and 80 cent. Here, hang on, let me get it out of the bag for you............Oh, sh1t! Sh!t! Sh1t!

THE END

Roll Credits..........

---

Back at RTE Studio Four :

Floor Manager : ''Your most High Lordship, it's ready for broadcasting now. I'm just a bit worried that viewers might be confused by the whole thing.''

Big Boss Man : '' Don't be stupid, Baldrick. Look, you're confused, the 'actors' are confused, the scriptwriters are confused, and I haven't a fookin clue what's happening either. Why shouldn't the viewers have to suffer like the rest of us? Broadcast bedamned! And don't forget the Chill Insurance ad...''

Literally laughed out loud.......Thanks coolhull:D:D:D

A_smurf

coolhull wrote: »

Jaysis, lads, you're all on fire tonight! :D:D:):)

I suspect that the top management in RTE Drama are dining on Lobster Thermidor, sipping on Moet Chandon champagne and puffing Cuban cigars, all the time getting angrier and angrier reading this thread.

Mr Big Bossman : ''So, those Boardies think they're a bunch of comedians, do they? Right, tonight let's show them what comedy really is....
Quenten! Nigelo! Clarenten! Get your asses over here. Now! I want this episode written, 'acted', the cameras rolling , and tonight's episode ready to televise within the next 30 minutes.''

Floor Manager : ''But we don't have a script yet, Supreme Leader! How can we have a FC episode without a script?''

Mr Big Bossman : ''Go out to the play area where our 45 writers are playing Ker-plunk. Grab about twenty of them and tell them to go to separate corners of the room, with half a foolscap page each. They're not to get together to discuss it, they're just to write down whatever pops into their head. Then bring me whatever they've written, and start the cameras rolling.''

Floor manager : ''But, but, Excellency, then the episode won't make any sense!''


Mr. Big Bossman (chuckling) : ''It's Fair City, remember? We've never made a sensible episode yet, and we're not going to start now. Right, people, let's get this show on the road! Now go. Go!''

---

Scene 1: The Brennan Mansion

Oisin : ''What's that, Callum? You think you can take me on? Go ahead , make my day, tough guy!''
Callum : ( stands up, says nothing) WALLOP! ZAP! KAPOW!
Oisin collapses in a near-coma : ''Hey, that's not fair! You hit me! Dad! Dad! He hit me!''
Paul : ''Take it easy, sonnnnnn , will ya?''


Scene 2 : The Safe House That Everyone Knows About..

Dermot : (Face sprinkled with Johnson's Baby Powder) Takes two small bundles of 50-euro notes from a Lidl shopping bag .........
''So, is this what has been driving viewers demented for the last three months? Hardly worth it, was it?.....Ow, ow, me belly!''

Enter Jane, (wearing a silk scarf and huge sunglassess)
''Sorry I'm late, I was auditioning for the stage production of 'Jackie Kennedy, The Musical'. Anything happenin'?
Greasy : ''Naw, just Dermish agonising over whether to send back the money, keep half of it, pay Zoe's plane fare home, swap Binjimin for a real boy actor, or maybe give it to Apollo House.''
Jane: ''Oh, that ould sh1te again. Sure I'm sick listening about the Plan and the money. At this stage, as far as I'm concerned, he can wipe his arse with it...''

Scene 3 : The Back Road to RTE....

Greasy : ''Just get in the fukkin van, Dermot. The driver is just an extra, and if he has to say something, it'll cost RTE even more money.''
Dermot : ''No! I'm not leaving without Ben!''
Greasy : ''Fair play to ya, most other people would be glad to leave the obnoxious little bollix behind.''

Final Scene : Rear of the Hiace van.

Dermot : Stop, driver, stop! If you let me out, I'll give you 35% of my share of the money that's left from the Plan. That would come to, let me see.....About 14 euro and 80 cent. Here, hang on, let me get it out of the bag for you............Oh, sh1t! Sh!t! Sh1t!

THE END

Roll Credits..........

---

Back at RTE Studio Four :

Floor Manager : ''Your most High Lordship, it's ready for broadcasting now. I'm just a bit worried that viewers might be confused by the whole thing.''

Big Boss Man : '' Don't be stupid, Baldrick. Look, you're confused, the 'actors' are confused, the scriptwriters are confused, and I haven't a fookin clue what's happening either. Why shouldn't the viewers have to suffer like the rest of us? Broadcast bedamned! And don't forget the Chill Insurance ad...''

Why do I feel this is literally what happens with every episode every week! Good work coolhull

Strazdas

The Parish Priest. wrote: »

Would I be right in thinking that this whole The plan/Fahey Family storyline over the past few months is the most ridiculous Fair City has ever gone in terms of suspension of reality ?????? From Ben's life long illness which vanished into thin air, Jo shacking up with an American doctor, Deirdre falling into a black hole to Zoe being abandoned by not just one but both foster parents

I'd have it down as their worst storyline ever alright. The problem with The Plan is that there were way too many characters, sensational plots and ridiculous sub plots involved to the point that it became a confusing mess this week and impossible to follow or keep up with.

It must have seemed a great idea to the writers originally but descended into a complete shambles (and all over a paltry 800k which is nothing these days).