Taking people's questions literally

paralysed

Isn't it amazing how stupid you can look if you take a silly or patronising question at face value? Do you think it's often best to answer a question with a question? or else address the reason you think they're asking it.

For example, years ago when I'd no place to park and I moved some cones outside a house on the street that were blocking a space. The house owner obviously wanted that space for himself. When I came back that night, he came out and said "what do you think I put those cones there for?" Know what I mean? I'd of looked pretty stupid if I answered the question. I replied "what da ya think I moved them for?"

Another example I've come across... in front of everyone this arrogant woman asked "are you happy to see your sister (who I don't get on with) back from Australia again?" I managed to reply "ohh happy isn't the word!" But gee, the fcuking b1tch had the nerve to put me on the spot like that!

I recently I had an neighbour (Kate) come in the door when I was eating all bran for breakfast. She asked "are you on the all bran John?" Instead of just saying 'yes', I replied "I'm eating my breakfast Kate" as if to make her question seem annoying and redundant. I'm not a bloody zoo animal after all! And there's nothing more annoying than being asked a question when you know they've their mind made up as to what the answer is. To this I often just say "which answer will shut you up faster?"

Another one I certainly hate is "are you excited?" It's a bit of a double edged sword. Isn't that a question that girls ask each other? Can't think of many such questions now, but ones such as these below (some which I found my way out of) can be just bloody well annoying:

"And what was your job in preparing the xmas dinner?" with the family listening - "to sit back and give them the pleasure of serving me!"

When in a noisy bar, a fella asks "so tell me what would you do at work on a daily basis" - "as little as possible" that shut him up!

"Why did you decide to wear that?" - "is it making you uncomfortable?"

When the salesman was making his pitch "you'd be happy to save money, right?"

After making my pitch as a salesman, the lady asked "and then will I be satisfied?"

"Did you get your father a present for his birthday?"

"Will you miss me?"

"How old are you?"

"You're a smart young man right?"

Frigating

"Why did you decide to wear that?"

"I'm eating my breakfast Kate"

Am I doing this right?

The_Valeyard

I guess I just picked a bouquet of oopsie-daisies.

DanMurphy

Jeez...I'm goin' back to ****in' bed

Father Hernandez

"How was your Stephens Day, good night?"

"I'm eating my breakfast Kate"

Barry Badrinath

DanMurphy wrote: »

Jeez...I'm goin' back to ****in' bed

The Internet goes through phases Dan.

It used to be a marvel with a wealth of knowledge at your finger tips.

Then this shyte came along.

Miss Demeanour

I don't understand this game.

Archeron

Person 1 "ah howya"

Person 2 "Aw, I've an awful pus filled boil on my arse...."

Person 1 "What? Ew, gross. I don't care, f*ck off"

DanMurphy

I'm a bit hung over and sleepy Frosty, so maybe I read the OP wrong (the 20 times I read it)

Anyway, so poor Carrie Fisher died. RIP.

Good job I never became famous or I'd be dead by now, another victim of 2016.

lawred2

paralysed wrote: »

Isn't it amazing how stupid you can look if you take a question at face value. It's often best to answer a question with a question, or else address the reason you think they're asking it.

I recently I had an neighbour come in the door when I was eating all bran for breakfast. She asked "are you on the all bran John?" Instead of just saying 'yes', I replied "I'm eating my breakfast Kate" as if to make her question seem annoying and redundant. I'm not a bloody zoo animal after all!

Another one I certainly hate is "are you excited?" It's a bit of a double edged sword. Isn't that a question that girls ask each other?

Can't think of many such questions now, but ones such as these below can be just bloody well annoying:

"did you get your father a present for his birthday"
"why did you decide to wear that?"

I think the answer is 42

Hande hoche!

"What is the meaning of life?"

"I'm eating my breakfast Kate"

Barry Badrinath

DanMurphy wrote: »

I'm a bit hung over and sleepy Frosty, so maybe I read the OP wrong (the 20 times I read it)

Anyway, so poor Carrie Fisher died. RIP.

Good job I never became famous or I'd be dead by now, another victim of 2016.

I dont even think the OP knows what he's on about.

lawred2

Theory of relativity?

I'm eating my breakfast Kate.

ytpe2r5bxkn0c1

This has changed my understanding of 'literally'.

I've figured it out!!

"Get them spuds in ta ya"

"I'm eating my dinner Kate"

DanMurphy

The OP's neighbor sounds like her who lives indoors here, but her name isn't Kate, so it's not her.
Anyways, we don't know anyone who eats Bran...except one of O'Brien's calves, whose sick and needs the ruffage (or so the Vet'nary says)
Had an Uncle once who lived to be 93...swore by the old ruffage. He had a dog called Bran...or was it Brandy. (Feck it my memory's shot)
Or was it he swore by Brandy, and had a dog called ...what the **** was his name....Spot...Ahh Yes, Spot was his name.
Now I can't remember what we called the Uncle.

DanMurphy

Frosty McGiggleShaft wrote: »

I dont even think the OP knows what he's on about.

He might be Paralysed...?:D

Annasopra

Is Bran the dogs name?

DanMurphy

Joeytheparrot wrote: »

Is Bran the dogs name?

No Joey, t'was definitely Spot. You see he had a spot on his cheek, that's why the Uncle called him Spot.
Did you know the Uncle at all?
Gas man, by all accounts.

Poor Spot got run over by a Morris Minor back in the summer of '62.
(During Kennedy's visit...they never traced the car though...you see, all the Guards were in Limerick to mind the President)

But I digress...sorry OP...what was he on about again?

foxy farmer

It's Irish logic.
A mother rings her son in Australia for a chat. "What are you doing now?" she asks him.
"Talking to you on the phone." he replies
More people ask questions that most people wouldn't ask because it's the the height of nosiness and ignorance. 2 farmer brothers that I meet from time to time have this unfailing habit of asking me how much land and how many cattle I have. What would be referred to as a guards question. Once would be more than enough but every time I meet them I get those 2 questions. It's not dementia either. Only cure is to fob them off or give totally off the wall figures that vary from the time before.

lazybones32

I no longer ask "How are you?" as a way of saying 'hello'. Some stupid b*tch actually told me - in detail.

paralysed

foxy farmer wrote: »

Only cure is to fob them off or give totally off the wall figures that vary from the time before.

I think people are beginning to understand what the thread is about!

Widdershins

What's a Breakfast Kate?

s4uv3

Widdershins wrote: »

What's a Breakfast Kate?

It's what you eat when the neighbours call.

indioblack

DanMurphy wrote: »

No Joey, t'was definitely Spot. You see he had a spot on his cheek, that's why the Uncle called him Spot.
Did you know the Uncle at all?
Gas man, by all accounts.

Poor Spot got run over by a Morris Minor back in the summer of '62.
(During Kennedy's visit...they never traced the car though...you see, all the Guards were in Limerick to mind the President)

But I digress...sorry OP...what was he on about again?

Just to muddy the waters - "What are you doing now?" means "What are you doing in general?"
At work I was using the photocopier. Dan asks me, "What are you doing?"
"I'm using the photocopier, Dan."
What he meant was, " What do you think your'e doing?"
What he meant could have been "You shouldn't be using the photocopier", or, "You're doing it wrong." [I was doing it wrong].
In answer to his first question, [keep up!], I should have said, "I don't know how to use the photocopier, Dan".
I love clear communication.
Who was Dan?
Wasn't he your uncle?
Yeah, Christmas has been a drag this year - must get out more.

Miss Demeanour

indioblack wrote: »

Just to muddy the waters - "What are you doing now?" means "What are you doing in general?"
At work I was using the photocopier. Dan asks me, "What are you doing?"
"I'm using the photocopier, Dan."
What he meant was, " What do you think your'e doing?"
What he meant could have been "You shouldn't be using the photocopier", or, "You're doing it wrong." [I was doing it wrong].
In answer to his first question, [keep up!], I should have said, "I don't know how to use the photocopier, Dan".
I love clear communication.
Who was Dan?
Wasn't he your uncle?
Yeah, Christmas has been a drag this year - must get out more.

No in answer to his first question you should have replied "I'm eating my breakfast Kate".....you keep up!

Turtyturd

'Are you riding your wan?'

'I'm eating my breakfast Kate.'

indioblack

Miss Demeanour wrote: »

No in answer to his first question you should have replied "I'm eating my breakfast Kate".....you keep up!

Ahh.
Thank you, Miss.
Who was Kate again?

Water John

Bran was Setanta's dog.

bb1234567

I remember you from another thread where you told an old lady to go stuff it for telling you youd far in life or something. Going off that and this, and some other posts, you seem overly aggressive with people for no apparent reason. Everyones not out to get you ,you know

Miss Demeanour

indioblack wrote: »

Ahh.
Thank you, Miss.
Who was Kate again?

You're welcome.
Kate is Johns neighbour.

Water John

Sorry BB, did not recognise the OP there as the fella who'd sort out the losers in our society.

indioblack

Miss Demeanour wrote: »

You're welcome.
Kate is Johns neighbour.

Kate, John, Dan, Bran - there's a lot of people in this thread.

Water John

Well, Boards tends to be a Group thing, so it's not a monologue.

timthumbni

I read out john's reply as if he is Hal 9000 from 2001.

Kate: are you on the all bran john?
John- I'm eating my breakfast Kate....

Kate: hmmm, ok john can you open the door please?
John- I'm sorry Kate, I'm afraid I can't do that.

Kate: what's the problem, john?
John- I think you know what the problem is just as well as I do Kate.........

Summer wind

I was at my then boyfriends house and was in the sitting room with his little cousin who was about 3 years old. The little cousin asked me to tie his shoelace. Just as I started to tie the lace my boyfriends aunt walked into the room and asked "do you have a job". I replied "yes I'm a hairdresser". Then I realised she meant the child had given me the job of tying his lace. She thought it was funny and laughed but 20 years later it still makes me cringe.

corner of hells

its me the guy from the bar esat digifone - YouTube

indioblack

Water John wrote: »

Well, Boards tends to be a Group thing, so it's not a monologue.

My post was not to be taken literally - as per the op!

Carry

lazybones32 wrote: »

I no longer ask "How are you?" as a way of saying 'hello'. Some stupid b*tch actually told me - in detail.

That was probably me Oi, but you take back the stupid b*tch!

Actually the question was "how's it going this fine morning" at a petrol station when I first came to Ireland many moons ago. I had a terrible hangover and just told the poor guy in detail how I was feeling and why. I've seen his eyes glaze over but just couldn't stop myself.

I thought the Irish are awfully nice being so interested in my well-being, so I thought. Everybody asked me, everyone heard the full story .

Relax, I've learned to say "I'm grand, thanks" even if I feel like dying.

Still, I'm wondering why the Irish ask questions but don't want to hear the honest answer?
And when asked a honest question themselves don't give a straight answer but some roundabout baloney?

Hande hoche!

indioblack wrote: »

Kate, John, Dan, Bran - there's a lot of people in this thread.

Still better than Rachel and Steve.

indioblack

Hande hoche! wrote: »

Still better than Rachel and Steve.

Infinitely better, you're right - whoever they are.

An honest answer is "ah I'm dying of a hangover sure ya know yourself" then everyone laughs and gets on with their day
You don't have to lie or give your life story

Colser

Does my bum look big in this?

indioblack

Carry wrote: »

That was probably me Oi, but you take back the stupid b*tch!

Actually the question was "how's it going this fine morning" at a petrol station when I first came to Ireland many moons ago. I had a terrible hangover and just told the poor guy in detail how I was feeling and why. I've seen his eyes glaze over but just couldn't stop myself.

I thought the Irish are awfully nice being so interested in my well-being, so I thought. Everybody asked me, everyone heard the full story .

Relax, I've learned to say "I'm grand, thanks" even if I feel like dying.

Still, I'm wondering why the Irish ask questions but don't want to hear the honest answer?
And when asked a honest question themselves don't give a straight answer but some roundabout baloney?

Had something like this from a lady who said she was from Transylvania[!]
" 'Morning" says I.
"No, it's not a good morning" she retorted.
"I never said it was" I replied. "I just said " 'Morning".
A bit unfair on my part - she was having a bad day.

mzungu

Carry wrote: »

Still, I'm wondering why the Irish ask questions but don't want to hear the honest answer?

It ain't just the Irish. It's all about the symbolic gesture really. Of course, the answer is already known but the rules of social etiquette dictate that we don't say it. It's how we deal with delicate situations and this acts as a silent pact between people that we all take part in, or 'symbolic interaction' if you will.

For eg. If somebody asks you if you liked a song they wrote and if you didn't think much of it you might say: "It was different" in order to spare their feelings. But if you decide to go full Simon Cowell on it and say something like: "It was off key and I can't say I enjoyed it". Then, more than likely some offence will be caused there. It breaks the silent pact and the ignored truth is now 'out there' and then has to be dealt with. Whereas before things were just easier when you both knew but kept it to yourselves never acknowledging to one another the truth because of the rules of etiquette and the discomfort it will cause when we do not abide by them.

paralysed

bb1234567 wrote: »

I remember you from another thread where you told an old lady to go stuff it for telling you youd far in life or something. Going off that and this, and some other posts, you seem overly aggressive with people for no apparent reason. Everyones not out to get you ,you know

It great that boards is anonymous, but you still get the odd few ones who just can't let an old thread go and hold it against you. We're moving on now.

paralysed

Summer wind wrote: »

I was at my then boyfriends house and was in the sitting room with his little cousin who was about 3 years old. The little cousin asked me to tie his shoelace. Just as I started to tie the lace my boyfriends aunt walked into the room and asked "do you have a job". I replied "yes I'm a hairdresser". Then I realised she meant the child had given me the job of tying his lace. She thought it was funny and laughed but 20 years later it still makes me cringe.

You see, quite an easy mistake to make - perhaps if you weren't so obliging you would have assessed the situation before answering.

Birneybau

What's going on here then?

paralysed

mzungu wrote: »

For eg. If somebody asks you if you liked a song they wrote and if you didn't think much of it you might say: "It was different" in order to spare their feelings. But if you decide to go full Simon Cowell on it and say something like: "It was off key and I can't say I enjoyed it". Then, more than likely some offence will be caused there. It breaks the silent pact and the ignored truth is now 'out there' and then has to be dealt with. Whereas before things were just easier when you both knew but kept it to yourselves never acknowledging to one another the truth because of the rules of etiquette and the discomfort it will cause when we do not abide by them.

I get what you mean, but I'd argue the opposite - only weak and easily manipulated people like being lied to. It's selfish to lie to them. I'll give them (even if I hope to bed them) the honest answer while making whatever effort I can to phrase it in an inoffensive way.

bb1234567

paralysed wrote: »

It great that boards is anonymous, but you still get the odd few ones who just can't let an old thread go and hold it against you. We're moving on now.

Okay well leaving the past behind, basing my entire opinion on this thread alone I would say you are overly aggressive with people for no reason

Carry

bluewolf wrote: »

An honest answer is "ah I'm dying of a hangover sure ya know yourself" then everyone laughs and gets on with their day
You don't have to lie or give your life story

Thanks But what do you do when the very same person (as it happens occasionally with one Irish neighbour) starts to tell you "ah sure, don't I know. Wasn't I meself at Murphy's and met old Pat..." You get the picture.

mzungu wrote: »

It ain't just the Irish. It's all about the symbolic gesture really. Of course, the answer is already known but the rules of social etiquette dictate that we don't say it. It's how we deal with delicate situations and this acts as a silent pact between people that we all take part in, or 'symbolic interaction' if you will. (...)

Thank you, a very good wording of all the things I've had to learn.
I still think it's a cultural thing. The nuances of symbolic gestures in Ireland is still a balancing act for foreigners, even European ones.
I actually published a book about "How to blunder in Ireland as a German" (rough translation of the original title). Was fun to write it but still leaves me puzzled about the Irish way of communication.

Being asked "isn't it a lovely day?" when it's actually wet and miserable gave me the evil eye when I answered it just like that:miserable. Right, now I say "not bad for this time of year". Gosh you have to tiptoe around the weather remarks.

I trained myself to find it lovable how people ask questions just to get into a conversation. But still deep in my heart I'm more of a literal person and not shy of calling a spade a spade.