Children's table manners

lertsnim

Teyla Emmagan wrote: »

It illustrates that you're an uneducated savage, but if you're okay with that then there's no problem.

Cool.

It is like when I was younger and at hurling training i'd get a bollocking for holding a hurley left handed even though it felt more natural.

Mountainsandh

NiallBoo wrote: »

Add to that, it just makes sense that you hold the cutting implement in your stronger hand.

Proper table manners is really just codified common sense and consideration for others. Scooping soup away from you means it's less likely to splash you, licking/putting your knife in your mouth is obvious, cutlery together and to the side when finished makes it easier/quicker for waiters etc.

Dammit.
I am now reading all your contributions in Francis Brennan's voice.
I do like Francis Brennan though

pickarooney

NiallBoo wrote: »

Add to that, it just makes sense that you hold the cutting implement in your stronger hand.

Proper table manners is really just codified common sense and consideration for others. Scooping soup away from you means it's less likely to splash you, licking/putting your knife in your mouth is obvious, cutlery together and to the side when finished makes it easier/quicker for waiters etc.

It's codified arbitrariness. Explain, as though to a six year old, why it's perfectly acceptable to pick up a chip and dip it in ketchup but dip a roast spud in gravy and you're scum.

MonkieSocks

LETHAL LADY wrote: »

Table manners should be taught to children with rigidity, and if the child attempts to deviate from instruction it would merit the paddle. That's just my feeling on the matter.

How do you eat with a Paddle?

Widdershins

amtc wrote: »

No they weren't. Made a point of coming over to me and telling me. I had cut a piece of meat, transferred my fork from my left to my right hand
..I am right handed..and ate from that. Then for next cut transferred fork to left and replicated.

I was on a business dinner and was mortified but more annoyed. Anyway they lost a contract out of it

I use my knife and fork in the same way.
I'm right handed and I would find it very awkward to use the fork with my left hand.

I didn't know I was such a disgrace until I read this thread!

maudgonner

Widdershins wrote: »

I use my knife and fork in the same way.
I'm right handed and I would find it very awkward to use the fork with my left hand.

I didn't know I was such a disgrace until I read this thread!

You may just be a closet American. Their table manners dictate that when cutting food you should hold the knife in the right hand, fork in left. But once you finish cutting you put the knife down and swap the fork to the right hand.

So maybe you're not a disgrace, just an American.
(I won't even bother to add a joke here)

dr.fuzzenstein

amtc wrote: »

No they weren't. Made a point of coming over to me and telling me. I had cut a piece of meat, transferred my fork from my left to my right hand
..I am right handed..and ate from that. Then for next cut transferred fork to left and replicated.

I was on a business dinner and was mortified but more annoyed. Anyway they lost a contract out of it

That's very much American style cutlery use is it? Everything gets cut up with fork in left and knife in right and then eaten with fork in right, but without the use of the knife, other that for pushing food around. Always thought that was strange, but different countries do things differently.
I always have eaten the "wrong" way round, I occasionally get asked if I'm left handed (I'm not), but other than that I never have gotten grief over it. If anyone should tell me to switch and eat the "proper" way I might give them a 2 word answer and the second word will be "off". First word depends on my mood. I will definitely endeavour to spray it rather than say it.
I would consider it extremely rude, like smacking someone for writing with their "dirty" left hand, I mean would anyone seriously do that?

My own personal rules would be don't arrive at the table filthy dirty and smelly, please don't smear food all over the table or yourself (if avoidable), chew with your mouth closed and other than that we're mostly good.
I was brought up with no slouching, no elbows on the table, don't lick the knife, keep your hands where I can see them, (well, I knew about them, my own parents weren't that strict) and like everything etiquette changes over time, it is hardly expected today that there is a big family dinner, even the children wear white shirt and tie and they will get a smack if they spill pasta sauce on their shirt!
So we can hardly expect children to follow table manners from Dickensian times or even from 30-40 years ago.

LynnGrace

I think it's good for a child to be taught simple, basic table manners - how to use cutlery properly, closed mouth while chewing, not talking with mouth full. It's doing them a favour, in the long run, in my opinion.

Chuchote

And manners in general. A girl of around 11 coughed straight into my face in Arnott's today; obviously hadn't imbibed the idea that you should cover your mouth when coughing. I can already feel the bugs hotting up inside my sinuses. If this is a winter cold, I'm in for four weeks of misery, being asthmatic.

amtc

I should also point out that I broke my left wrist years ago and have less than 30% movement in it. And it is an American way if eating. I knew that. My point was for a waiter to say it was extremely rude.

Mind you I was recently at a business dinner where someone drank the finger bowl. I really thought they were having a laugh but not.

ceadaoin.

weldoninhio wrote: »

If we are both at a meal/dinner party and sitting next to each other, you to my left, me to your right. We both cut our meat and try to raise our forks to our mouth at the same time (i use the correct left hand, you use your right hand) and we clash elbows/arms and end up dropping food everywhere.

I'm left handed so eating correctly with a knife and fork is fine for me. Using chopsticks however results in the situation you mentioned. Or I sit at the end of the table and feel like my elbow is sticking out too far and someone is going to walk into it! I definitely couldn't hold chopsticks in my right hand

LirW

All 3 of us are left-handed.
My boy is 6 and he eats perfectly fine with fork, he just still struggles a little bit with cutting "tougher" meat with his own knife. We all hold cutlery in the left-handed-way and would never bother changing it, simply because we couldn't, brain couldn't cope.

ceadaoin.

maudgonner wrote: »

You may just be a closet American. Their table manners dictate that when cutting food you should hold the knife in the right hand, fork in left. But once you finish cutting you put the knife down and swap the fork to the right hand.

So maybe you're not a disgrace, just an American.
(I won't even bother to add a joke here)

Often they don't even use a knife, they just use the side of their fork to cut the food if possible :eek:

Calahonda52

NiallBoo wrote: »

Add to that, it just makes sense that you hold the cutting implement in your stronger hand.

.

You need the light on?

d.pop

My nine year old has problems with his fine motor skills amongst other things and it's hard to watch him trying to use a knife and fork, he can do it but it's like watching somebody trying to eat water with chop sticks...he will always default to fingers if he can, his little sister went straight to knife and fork of her own accord at around 3-4 and spends dinner time rolling her eyes at her brother.
Both myself and the kids mum would have 'good table manners' in the conventional sense, just goes to show I suppose that you can never know the back story...

maudgonner

amtc wrote: »

I should also point out that I broke my left wrist years ago and have less than 30% movement in it. And it is an American way if eating. I knew that. My point was for a waiter to say it was extremely rude.

Yes, bizarrely rude. If I was you, I would have held my fork in my left hand and stabbed him repeatedly in the face, screaming 'Happy now?!'

Widdershins

maudgonner wrote: »

Yes, bizarrely rude. If I was you, I would have held my fork in my left hand and stabbed him repeatedly in the face, screaming 'Happy now?!'

With your mouth full of food?

maudgonner

Widdershins wrote: »

With your mouth full of food?

And my napkin tucked under my chin.

LynnGrace

Widdershins wrote: »

With your mouth full of food?

maudgonner wrote: »

And my napkin tucked under my chin.

And as a final gesture, drink from the finger bowl :pac:...

pickarooney

maudgonner wrote: »

Yes, bizarrely rude. If I was you, I would have held my fork in my left hand and stabbed him repeatedly in the face, screaming 'Happy now?!'

Say Shouw-dare again. I dare you, I double dare you mother****er!

Mam of 4

amtc wrote: »

I should also point out that I broke my left wrist years ago and have less than 30% movement in it. And it is an American way if eating. I knew that. My point was for a waiter to say it was extremely rude.

Mind you I was recently at a business dinner where someone drank the finger bowl. I really thought they were having a laugh but not.

Please tell me, did they eat the lemon in the bowl also?:eek:

amtc

Well it was quite odd. I really thought they were doing it as a joke. Popped lemon into his team...

JupiterKid

At the age of six a normal child should be able to use a knife, fork and spoon. No excuse for poor table manners.

Mam of 4

amtc wrote: »

. Popped lemon into his team...

He what ??

Chuchote

Mam of 4 wrote: »

He what ??

Tea?

Graces7

Chuchote wrote: »

And manners in general. A girl of around 11 coughed straight into my face in Arnott's today; obviously hadn't imbibed the idea that you should cover your mouth when coughing. I can already feel the bugs hotting up inside my sinuses. If this is a winter cold, I'm in for four weeks of misery, being asthmatic.

Ah agree..... I am immune compromised and that thought! Are you OK? Not just kids of course.....:(:rolleyes:

Chuchote

Graces7 wrote: »

Ah agree..... I am immune compromised and that thought! Are you OK? Not just kids of course.....:(:rolleyes:

Thanks, I seem to have escaped this time (touch wood), probably thanks to lots of wine at party last night!

thegreatgonzo

Arcade_Tryer wrote: »

. For example, I refuse to abide by the "never put a knife in your mouth" rule. How else can I lick the delicious sauce resting on it? And why is it a rule in the first place? Because some idiot couldn't do it without cutting their tongue? Well, that's tough. But the rest of us shouldn't have to suffer too.

Well I hate it when people lick their knife then take some butter or jam with same knife. If I wanted your saliva I'd kiss you.

evolving_doors

JupiterKid wrote: »

At the age of six a normal child should be able to use a knife, fork and spoon. No excuse for poor table manners.

When eating pizza too?
I still want to know what the kid was eating in the op... this is of major significance.

Dirty Dingus McGee

I think I chew with my mouth open, I know my mother used to say I did and I never consciously changed my habits so I must be doing it now.

To be honest I couldn't give a flying **** if people consider it bad manners. Don't look at me while I'm eating if you don't like it.

If something you do isn't having a direct negative affect on someone else then it really isn't bad manners as it's really none of your business what someone else does if it isn't having any affect on you and chewing with your mouth open has no affect on anyone else.

looksee

Yes it does, if I were sitting opposite you and trying to have a conversation I would not be able to string a coherent sentence together since I would be so grossed out by your cement mixer eating style.

Dirty Dingus McGee

looksee wrote: »

Yes it does, if I were sitting opposite you and trying to have a conversation I would not be able to string a coherent sentence together since I would be so grossed out by your cement mixer eating style.

In that case then extremely ugly people should be forced to cover up their faces in public as well so others don't have to endure looking at them.

Chuchote

Dirty Dingus McGee wrote: »

I think I chew with my mouth open, I know my mother used to say I did and I never consciously changed my habits so I must be doing it now.

To be honest I couldn't give a flying **** if people consider it bad manners. Don't look at me while I'm eating if you don't like it.

Fine… but to get a view of what other people see, try eating while looking in the mirror. It's a bit charmless to see food mashed up on someone's tongue, no matter how you love them.

Dirty Dingus McGee

Chuchote wrote: »

Fine… but to get a view of what other people see, try eating while looking in the mirror. It's a bit charmless to see food mashed up on someone's tongue, no matter how you love them.

So many things in life are unpleasing to others eyes and we don't cover them up.Why is eating with you mouth open taboo.

As someone pointed out earlier in the thread it's all so arbitrary what is and is not good manners and if it's not having any direct negative affect on someone else then it isn't an issue.

cbreeze

I saw a group of young women having lunch in the Chester Beatty restaurant. The way one of them shovelled her food into her mouth would put a leading stoker to shame. She was holding her fork in her fist as if she was afraid someone would wrestle it from her! I wish now I'd videod the performance. :pac:

the beer revolu

Dirty Dingus McGee wrote: »

So many things in life are unpleasing to others eyes and we don't cover them up.Why is eating with you mouth open taboo.

As someone pointed out earlier in the thread it's all so arbitrary what is and is not good manners and if it's not having any direct negative affect on someone else then it isn't an issue.

Would you be OK with someone picking their nose and eating the snot while at the dinner table with others?
I mean, it doesn't effect anyone else, right?

Or how about having a good ole scratch of their genitals at the table?

Wall1257

Rainman16 wrote: »

Bad mother I'd say. She needs to teach her child to use a knife and fork. Something she should have been thought years ago, It's a basic human skill. Shame on the mother.

The child is my niece and the Mother is my sister. We were all brought up to have good table manners.... my Father insisted on it. My niece is an amazing child and is so happy, has a wonderful nature and is incredibly polite in every other way. She is cared for with attention and care......... they just really don't bother with table manners at all. I didn't mind when she was really little but for her sake, I think she's getting a little old to be using her fingers for everything from pasta to vegetables.

Wall1257

Teyla Emmagan wrote: »

I went au pairing to France as a young one. Their little boy had just turned 3 and had the most impeccable table manners. Ate with a knife and fork! Couldn't cut his own food but bar that ate beautifully. Most Irish kids I knew at the time were like barbarians in comparison.

My daughter used a knife and fork and cut her own food when she was still only two years old...... she loved doing it.

Dirty Dingus McGee

the beer revolu wrote: »

Would you be OK with someone picking their nose and eating the snot while at the dinner table with others?
I mean, it doesn't effect anyone else, right?

Or how about having a good ole scratch of their genitals at the table?

May not be the nicest thing in the world but what business is it of yours if I do it.

You don't like it then go somewhere else.

Mountainsandh

Wall1257 wrote: »

The child is my niece and the Mother is my sister. We were all brought up to have good table manners.... my Father insisted on it. My niece is an amazing child and is so happy, has a wonderful nature and is incredibly polite in every other way. She is cared for with attention and care......... they just really don't bother with table manners at all. I didn't mind when she was really little but for her sake, I think she's getting a little old to be using her fingers for everything from pasta to vegetables.

With all the care and attention she seems to be getting, the "table manners issue" if there is one will quickly fade away as she becomes more social via school/play dates environments. Maybe all she needs is to spend a bit more time with other kids her age.

That's really how French kids learn, rather than parents being constantly on their backs. They go to the cantine, where everyone eats a full meal together at the table. Mealtimes are important there so maybe the kids perceive that and put more effort into getting it right.

Having said that my Mum was a Maternelle (Kindergarden) principal for years and reckons that a lot of kids are simply not taught to use a knife and fork at home.

I guess maybe people who admire French kids table manners only get to see a certain sample of the population, or only notice the contrasty ones, while the rest of them are the same as here.

Cantines here would be brilliant though.
One thing that cannot be denied is how much more diversified the French diet is from a young age. More important than manners imo.

Wall1257

the beer revolu wrote: »

Dirty Dingus McGee wrote: »

So many things in life are unpleasing to others eyes and we don't cover them up.Why is eating with you mouth open taboo.

As someone pointed out earlier in the thread it's all so arbitrary what is and is not good manners and if it's not having any direct negative affect on someone else then it isn't an issue.

Would you be OK with someone picking their nose and eating the snot while at the dinner table with others?
I mean, it doesn't effect anyone else, right?

Or how about having a good ole scratch of their genitals at the table?

I really have to agree with you. I had to move seats once because the woman in front of me was eating with her mouth open..... it was so nausiating. I felt sorry for her that a friend or someone close to her wouldn't take her aside and suggest keeping her mouth closed when eating :-(

DrPhilG

Dirty Dingus McGee wrote: »

In that case then extremely ugly people should be forced to cover up their faces in public as well so others don't have to endure looking at them.

Ugly people can't help being ugly.

You can help eating like a pig.

But you have no interest in doing so, that's your call.

Chuchote

Dirty Dingus McGee wrote: »

May not be the nicest thing in the world but what business is it of yours if I do it.

You don't like it then go somewhere else.

Used to know a woman who was utterly baffled that she never got promoted and people wouldn't sit at table with her (except one or two who were sorry for her). She was a total boor, with mouth-breathing eating habits and was full of personal questions and opinions, poor girl.

Dirty Dingus McGee

DrPhilG wrote: »

Ugly people can't help being ugly.

You can help eating like a pig.

But you have no interest in doing so, that's your call.

Not really.

It's difficult to eat without opening your mouth.

I'm not spitting food at anybody or making a massive amount of noise so really whats the issue.

I'm not asking anyone to gawk at me while I'm eating.

MilesMorales1

My dad would have walloped me from here to timbuktu for bad table manners. Guess it stuck with me.

Dirty Dingus McGee

Chuchote wrote: »

Used to know a woman who was utterly baffled that she never got promoted and people wouldn't sit at table with her (except one or two who were sorry for her). She was a total boor, with mouth-breathing eating habits and was full of personal questions and opinions, poor girl.

Not sure what that has to do with me.

Anyway I just found out that's it's the cultural norm for Chinese people to eat with their mouths open.

1.4 billion ignorant pricks apparently.

So really all these prissy little supposed rules you have to live by that have no affect on anyone else's life are complete bollox.

Dirty Dingus McGee

MilesMorales1 wrote: »

My dad would have walloped me from here to timbuktu for bad table manners. Guess it stuck with me.

I hope you appreciate the irony of that post.

Sue Pa Key Pa

Dirty Dingus McGee wrote: »

Not sure what that has to do with me.

Anyway I just found out that's it's the cultural norm for Chinese people to eat with their mouths open.

1.4 billion ignorant pricks apparently.

So really all these prissy little supposed rules you have to live by that have no affect on anyone else's life are complete bollox.

Posters are just trying to help, you may not have realised previously that it is not pleasant for those around you if you eat with your mouth open.

Dirty Dingus McGee

Sue Pa Key Pa wrote: »

Posters are just trying to help, you may not have realised previously that it is not pleasant for those around you if you eat with your mouth open.

I don't think so.

I eat on my own by choice most of the time anyway.

I'm not slobbering or anything just don't have my mouth fully closed (or I assume seeing as I haven't consciously changed anything since I was young) and it's not a big deal anyway if it is for someone then that's their own fault and they need to loosen up.

Sue Pa Key Pa

Dirty Dingus McGee wrote: »

it's not a big deal anyway if it is for someone then that's their own fault and they need to loosen up.

It isn't really though, is it? When we're interacting in public, there are certain protocols which aren't essential in private. We need to attend to personal care, so our BO doesn't impact others. We should say excuse me if we accidentally bump in to others. We queue civilally in supermarkets etc. You shouldn't eat like a cow chewing the cud to the detriment of others trying to enjoy their meal