Bad lodger or am I unreasonable?

kiferea

Hi all,

I was just wondering if I have a problem with my lodger or am I being unreasonable? What is you experience?

We bought our house with my husband a couple of years ago and rented our spare room. We were very lucky with the first two lads we had - they were lovely and we had no problems with them, they stayed for about a year. They were very young but really cared about someone else in the house, were respectful and pleasure to share the house with.

Four months ago we have got a new lodger. He had good references from work and a reference from his previous landlord/ housemate and came across really well at the start- mid 30s, decent enough job etc.

Long story short- I am thinking of telling him to start looking for accomodation somewhere else- he barely ever goes outside the house, he has no gf or social life, he sits at home 24/7 in his room, he is messy, he walks into the sh....te on the street and then brings it all over the stairs and leaves it like that for us to clean, he blocked the bathroom sink badly (am talking some serious blockage not the one you can sort out with Mr. Muscle) , we will have to replace the microwave because of his seafood chowder -he doesnt always clean it after himself and it smells like something died in it now, he occasionally leaves the George Foreman grill on after he finishes with it, he washes his clothes when he wants to and how he wants to without any consideration that other people in the house may want to wash it too(he just would not agree to do it on any specific day), he leaves the mess after him, he burns the candles in his room without candleholders ( on the wooden furniture!) , he stores the rubbish in his room, the toilet in his bathroom is now brown and probably will need to be replaced after he will move out, he leaves the ink/ dirt/ washing powder/ toothpaste stains on the new carpet.


You cant say anything to him, he acts like a teenager , like " Ok! Alright!!!! The stains are just washing powder!! " etc and keeps going the way he is going...


Am I being unreasonable and all of the people just not going to care about your house once its not their own house?! ( the two lovely lads before were just an exception, not the rule?!).

Or should we just nicely get rid of him ( relatives coming in a couple of months, need a room back as they have nowhere to live excuse?) by giving him plenty of notice of course to find another place?

Thank you!

_Brian

Get rid, he's got no respect for your property and he's not your responsibility to train up.

Rachiee

Just say sorry its not working out and give him notice

rawn

kiferea wrote:

Or should we just nicely get rid of him ( relatives coming in a couple of months, need a room back as they have nowhere to live excuse?) by giving him plenty of notice of course to find another place?

Tell him the truth, he needs to know that this is why he's getting kicked out, maybe then he'll be more respectful in his next home.

pawrick

Definitely get rid, there are many other people out there who would not treat your house in this way and I've found people who are like this won't change unless it's their own property.

Pawwed Rig

You don't need to give hom a reason. Just give him reasonable notice (as a courtesy) and move on with you life.

myshirt

You forgot to mention the part where he is paying you thousands a year, and the state is allowing you that tax free.

You struck it lucky with the first two lads, maybe a bit too lucky, but take the rough with the smooth is what I'd say. People live different ways. But I'd be straight with him, no long winded awkward explanations, just say it straight out that when you discover something. Can you clean that after you please, can I suggest you use candle holders please, etc.

ads20101

No no no

The return you are getting has absolutely nothing to do with your lodgers lack of respect.

You are entitled to get a financial return for renting out your room. If the law states that you don't need to pay tax, then that's fine. You have nothing to feel guilty about.

Get rid. The prat will soon learn to grow up when he gets chucked out of a few more places.

James Bond Junior

myshirt wrote: »

You forgot to mention the part where he is paying you thousands a year, and the state is allowing you that tax free.

You struck it lucky with the first two lads, maybe a bit too lucky, but take the rough with the smooth is what I'd say. People live different ways. But I'd be straight with him, no long winded awkward explanations, just say it straight out that when you discover something. Can you clean that after you please, can I suggest you use candle holders please, etc.

Go away outta that. My lodger pays me thousands a year tax free too but I still expect him to keep the place tidy and respect the place. It's still my home after all and he is a paying guest. It's not my responsibility to provide a place to live for anybody but myself and nor does the op. Fire him out on a weeks notice (not that you have to give a week) and find someone new. There are plenty of people looking for a nice clean place to live which they will respect.

kiferea

myshirt wrote: »

You forgot to mention the part where he is paying you thousands a year, and the state is allowing you that tax free.

You struck it lucky with the first two lads, maybe a bit too lucky, but take the rough with the smooth is what I'd say. People live different ways. But I'd be straight with him, no long winded awkward explanations, just say it straight out that when you discover something. Can you clean that after you please, can I suggest you use candle holders please, etc.

Well, it is obvious that you are renting the room in your house to a stranger for a financial return, not because you are lonely and would like some company

The problem here ( if to put emotions aside) is that in this case the financial damage can be higher than financial return ( potential cost of replacing the carpet, toilet, microwave, furniture, plumber call out charge etc). Not to mention the potential fire hazard. The man is seriously living in his own world and not noticing anything/ anyone else around.

Dont feel like:

1. Its my job to house train him. I am not his mammy.
2. Dont think self centred people like that can ever change.

myshirt

^^^^^

Yeah I agree to be fair, just perhaps don't be as heavy handed, he is paying after all. Maybe put the foot down and pull him on behaving like that. If he met you half way I'd take the rough with the smooth, cos maybe he just lives like that, i.e a bachelor, but other than that he'd have to go, as you describe it is taking the biscuit.

Dj Stiggie

I'd give him reasonable notice, but don't mention the real reasons why until he's actually walking out the door. No point in having awkwardness and tension while he's still there, but he should be made aware of these issues, and it could be very horrible for him if he asked you to give someone an oral reference thinking he was grand and you tell his potential new landlord what he's actually like.

It's your home first and foremost. Bad enough having a bad room mate in a flat share, but this is your home you've bought yourself. You're entitled to feel comfortable and expect guests of any sort to respect your home.

beauf

myshirt wrote: »

You forgot to mention the part where he is paying you thousands a year, and the state is allowing you that tax free.

You struck it lucky with the first two lads, maybe a bit too lucky, but take the rough with the smooth is what I'd say. People live different ways. But I'd be straight with him, no long winded awkward explanations, just say it straight out that when you discover something. Can you clean that after you please, can I suggest you use candle holders please, etc.

The OP said Renting and lodger. I don't see how you can be confused about it.

Just because you are renting something doesn't mean you can abuse it. Thats a very odd mindset.

kiferea

Dj Stiggie wrote: »

I'd give him reasonable notice, but don't mention the real reasons why until he's actually walking out the door. No point in having awkwardness and tension while he's still there, but he should be made aware of these issues, and it could be very horrible for him if he asked you to give someone an oral reference thinking he was grand and you tell his potential new landlord what he's actually like.

It's your home first and foremost. Bad enough having a bad room mate in a flat share, but this is your home you've bought yourself. You're entitled to feel comfortable and expect guests of any sort to respect your home.

There is no way he is getting a reference from us! Oral or written! But I agree- he should be aware not to expect it.

Davy

Moved to accommodation & property from E&BM

newacc2015

myshirt wrote: »

You forgot to mention the part where he is paying you thousands a year, and the state is allowing you that tax free.

Lets not pretend the state introduced rent-a-room scheme out of the goodness of their heart. They realised a lot of people were doing it anyway and it was better for that money to be declared, than kept cash only under someone's mattress and not declared at all which was the case.

myshirt wrote: »

You struck it lucky with the first two lads, maybe a bit too lucky, but take the rough with the smooth is what I'd say. People live different ways. But I'd be straight with him, no long winded awkward explanations, just say it straight out that when you discover something. Can you clean that after you please, can I suggest you use candle holders please, etc.

This individual is a not a 17 year moving up to the big smoke for college, they are a professional who is working. A grown adult should not have to tell another grown adult to not massage dog matter into their carpet and to clean up after themselves. It should be second instinct at this stage.

OP might have been lucky with the first two, but they shouldn't have live with someone who clearly has no cop on regardless of whether they pay tax on it or not.

OP tell the guy its not working out and you want him to start looking for another place. Life is too short for dealing with people who would live in a pig sty.

the_syco

OP, give him 2 weeks/a months notice, as you feel suits. If you think he won't act take the idiot over the month, sure, otherwise 2 weeks.

TBH, he sounds like the "wonderful" reference he got was to get rid of him. If you'll give a similar reference to get rid of him is up to you.

Mrs OBumble

Why is someone in their mid 30s living as a lodger, rather than having a tenancy of their own. Hes not trainable, even if it was appropriate for you to train him.

Get rid of him and next time take a youngster moving out of home whos not ready to take on a tenancy yet.

GingerLily

Mrs OBumble wrote: »

Why is someone in their mid 30s living as a lodger, rather than having a tenancy of their own.

Have you seen the cost of renting?

Terri26

Anyone else think it's ridiculous that the OP stated he/she is annoyed the lodger won't stick to A DAY to use a washing machine. I'd have a huge problem being told I have to stick to a certain day to wash my clothes.

OldMrBrennan83

This post has been deleted.

cronos

Patww79 wrote: »

This post has been deleted.

Well, don't see the problem with him staying in his room either. What business is it of the OP if he has a girlfriend or not? Be thankful he's staying in his room.

Anyone can accidently leave on an appliance.

Seems difficult to believe he walks on poo and walks it into the house frequently. Was this another once off thing that he might not have even noticed?

But anyway, even though I don't think this person has done a massive amount wrong here. I'd still advise you to get rid of him. Give him a months notice, be nice about it if he's not being a pain about it. No need to give your reasons, they are your opinions.

You should provide a reference, but only a reference indicating he paid his rent. That's it, no need to go into his personality. Potentially slanderous also I'd imagine.

cronos

<mod snip>

OP statements in quotes. I'm not saying any of it's a lie, I'm just saying it's an opinion. But ultimately I made the point that it's her opinion that matters when it's her house. If she's not comfortable with someone for any reason then she should get rid, it's a landlord's market.

I was just giving my opinion on whether she's been reasonable which is why she posted. I'm just saying it's not totally reasonable or unreasonable.

"he barely ever goes outside the house"

He lives there. Where do you expect him to go? Plus he's in his room, what does it have to do with you. He would be entitled to go sit in your living room all the time if he wanted.

"he has no gf or social life"

Don't see what this has to do with you OP.

"he sits at home 24/7 in his room"

I assume he has a job and actually just uses his bedroom in the evenings weekends etc... Again him being in his room is the best case really.

"he is messy, he walks into the sh....te on the street and then brings it all over the stairs and leaves it like that for us to clean"

I'd have mentioned it and warned him to either clean it up himself. Or you would remove it from his security deposit plus eventually just end the rental.

"he blocked the bathroom sink badly (am talking some serious blockage not the one you can sort out with Mr. Muscle)"

Depends how he blocked the sink? I have a blocked sink in my ensuite in the house I own and have done nothing to it to cause it that I'm aware of. Sinks get blocked I guess? I'd purchase a plunger and ask him to do it himself or else again mention the security deposit.

"we will have to replace the microwave because of his seafood chowder-he doesnt always clean it after himself and it smells like something died in it now,"

Tell him not to use the microwave anymore or else clean it. Show him the damage due to the smell and mention security deposit.

"he occasionally leaves the George Foreman grill on after he finishes with it"

People forget things by accident. I left the tap on a couple of times this week.

"he washes his clothes when he wants to and how he wants to without any consideration that other people in the house may want to wash it too(he just would not agree to do it on any specific day)"

I'd put some house rules together for your next renter and make them clear to him up front. This will get this sort of problem sorted up front. But in all honesty, it should be first come first served, but if he's just leaving his clothes in the washer and not taking them away then just throw them out of the way into a basket or something.

"he burns the candles in his room without candleholders ( on the wooden furniture!)"

How did you find this out? Were you in his room without his permission? I'd personally expect a level of privacy. But this is a safety hazard I wouldn't be happy about. Security deposit to be used to cover the wax damage, but house burning down is not an acceptable risk obviously so it's a no no from me. Again I'd write up some house rules up front.

"he stores the rubbish in his room"


It's his room. If the rubbish is creating problems EG Attracting rats, Creating a smell, Damaging floors then I'd mention the security deposit. However other than that and if he's just leaving his room messy then it's nothing to do with you, if he does not clean it up before he leaves thought then it is his problem and you take money to cover a professional cleaner to come sort it.

"the toilet in his bathroom is now brown and probably will need to be replaced after he will move out"

If it's not an ensuite then he needs to sort this in a rotation that includes you also. If it is an ensuite then he needs to ensure it's clean when he leaves and no damage. I've never heard of a toilet being that dirty it needs to be removed. Sounds ridiculous.

"he leaves the ink/ dirt/ washing powder/ toothpaste stains on the new carpet"

Damage = Security Deposit.

"You can't say anything to him, he acts like a teenager, like " Ok! Alright!!!! The stains are just washing powder!! " etc and keeps going the way he is going..."

It's your house, so it's your rules. If you don't want him then get rid of him.

But remember that damage or the requirement of a professional cleaner is to be covered by the security deposit. If damage is being done in places you can see, then tell him this immediately as it happens (Microwave, Carpet). If it's a safety issue (Candles) then just tell him this is not acceptable and you don't allow it for concern about fires. I wouldn't want someone smoking in their bedroom for example. If you think he wouldn't listen then kick him out asap as you shouldn't ever be concerned for your health.

If the security deposit does not cover everything you can take him to small claims court. But I wouldn't have let it go this far if this is irreperable damage above the security deposit.

pwurple

The guy is a slob.

Some people are happy to live like that, and see no problem with other people like that... but as you are not, end it and move on. Make sure he takes his rubbish with him.

You can end a houseshare over a personality clash, there's no problem there.

Pawwed Rig

I had a housemate similar to this guy. The mess aside she really made for a tense atmosphere. OP do you like the guy other than this?

hytrogen

New year new lodger, give 1month notice explain Clinically why, explain mess, appliances, safety concerns, leave out the personal opinions of social life etc.
If asked for reference confirm his residency with you and if asked explain clinically the reasons why you terminated the agreement.
Best of luck

ted1

myshirt wrote: »

You forgot to mention the part where he is paying you thousands a year, and the state is allowing you that tax free.

You struck it lucky with the first two lads, maybe a bit too lucky, but take the rough with the smooth is what I'd say. People live different ways. But I'd be straight with him, no long winded awkward explanations, just say it straight out that when you discover something. Can you clean that after you please, can I suggest you use candle holders please, etc.

Money has absolutely nothing to do with wanting a bad tenant to move out of the family home.<mod snip>

realitykeeper

Some of what you are saying is reasonable, some not. The impression I get is that you just don`t like him. I think it would be at least as much in his interests to move out as yours but I do not think you should give him an ultimatum. Just ask nicely. Nobody wants to stay where they are not welcome but he may be in a difficult situation financially so please respect his decision and try to be patient if he wants to stay.

Wanderer78

Actually sounds like this chap has some mental health issues but you have the right to terminate his contract. Best of luck with it

troyzer

Terri26 wrote: »

Anyone else think it's ridiculous that the OP stated he/she is annoyed the lodger won't stick to A DAY to use a washing machine. I'd have a huge problem being told I have to stick to a certain day to wash my clothes.

I thought this as well. A lot of what the OP wants is ridiculously unreasonable. Who cares if he spends all day in his room? It's HIS room that he's paying for.

But I think there's enough legitimately wrong that the OP should at least have a proper sit down, lay out all of the improvements they want to see straight away or they're being kicked out.

Taylor365

kiferea wrote: »

There is no way he is getting a reference from us! Oral or written! But I agree- he should be aware not to expect it.

No, you must warn other potential victims! :P