Marlboro Lights

Hammer89

If Daniel O'Donnell and Niall Horan did cigarettes, they'd do Marlboro Lights. They're softer than Bono throwing rolls of Charmin at a television showing The Fault in Our Stars. Tesco, as it happened, didn't have my usual brand. "F*ck you then," I said (I didn't) and went to another place. Do you think they'd have them? Guess again, my friends.

My brand is John Player, but if they're unavailable then I usually punt for Mayfair. Sadly, this place had neither and I panicked. "Eh....have you got Marlboro Lights?" I imagine the people behind me in the queue had to hold in the laughter. "We do, yeah," said your one. She hits the button and they come tumbling down the machine.

"Why didn't I ask for Marlboro Red?" I wonder to myself instantly, but I was philosophical. I go outside and spark up, knowing that I've only got another 19 of these left before I can call myself a real man again. As of writing this there's seven left and I don't like them.

F*ck you 2017.

Ulysses Gaze

Hammer89 wrote: »

If Daniel O'Donnell and Niall Horan did cigarettes, they'd do Marlboro Lights. They're softer than Bono throwing rolls of Charmin at a television showing The Fault in Our Stars. Tesco, as it happened, didn't have my usual brand. "F*ck you then," I said (I didn't) and went to another place. Do you think they'd have them? Guess again, my friends.

My brand is John Player, but if they're unavailable then I usually punt for Mayfair. Sadly, this place had neither and I panicked. "Eh....have you got Marlboro Lights?" I imagine the people behind me in the queue had to hold in the laughter. "We do, yeah," said your one. She hits the button and they come tumbling down the machine.

"Why didn't I ask for Marlboro Red?" I wonder to myself instantly, but I was philosophical. I go outside and spark up, knowing that I've only got another 19 of these left before I can call myself a real man again. As of writing this there's seven left and I don't like them.

F*ck you 2017.

Why not buy a pack of Rothmans?

James Bond Junior

Hammer89 wrote: »

If Daniel O'Donnell and Niall Horan did cigarettes, they'd do Marlboro Lights. They're softer than Bono throwing rolls of Charmin at a television showing The Fault in Our Stars. Tesco, as it happened, didn't have my usual brand. "F*ck you then," I said (I didn't) and went to another place. Do you think they'd have them? Guess again, my friends.

My brand is John Player, but if they're unavailable then I usually punt for Mayfair. Sadly, this place had neither and I panicked. "Eh....have you got Marlboro Lights?" I imagine the people behind me in the queue had to hold in the laughter. "We do, yeah," said your one. She hits the button and they come tumbling down the machine.

"Why didn't I ask for Marlboro Red?" I wonder to myself instantly, but I was philosophical. I go outside and spark up, knowing that I've only got another 19 of these left before I can call myself a real man again. As of writing this there's seven left and I don't like them.

F*ck you 2017.

You should have got some silk cut ultra. Real man fags.

whatawaster81

Thanks for the pep talk. I smoke them but I need to quit. I'll remember this sage advice, sure they're like fresh air.

Hammer89

Ulysses Gaze wrote: »

Why not buy a pack of Rothmans?

My mindfulness training abandoned me and I lacked composure in the moment to think of the thousand other possible brands, but Marlboro Lights sprung to mind.

mzungu

Hammer89 wrote: »

If Daniel O'Donnell and Niall Horan did cigarettes, they'd do Marlboro Lights. They're softer than Bono throwing rolls of Charmin at a television showing The Fault in Our Stars. Tesco, as it happened, didn't have my usual brand. "F*ck you then," I said (I didn't) and went to another place. Do you think they'd have them? Guess again, my friends.

My brand is John Player, but if they're unavailable then I usually punt for Mayfair. Sadly, this place had neither and I panicked. "Eh....have you got Marlboro Lights?" I imagine the people behind me in the queue had to hold in the laughter. "We do, yeah," said your one. She hits the button and they come tumbling down the machine.

"Why didn't I ask for Marlboro Red?" I wonder to myself instantly, but I was philosophical. I go outside and spark up, knowing that I've only got another 19 of these left before I can call myself a real man again. As of writing this there's seven left and I don't like them.

F*ck you 2017.

Benson and Hedges would have been your best bet there.

Ulysses Gaze

James Bond Junior wrote: »

You should have got some silk cut ultra. Real man fags.

I thought you Bonds only smoked Morland brand cigarettes?

Hang your head in shame.....

Hammer89

mzungu wrote: »

Benson and Hedges would have been your best bet there.

Sure listen, hindsight is a great thing bruh. Fourteen down, six to go now.

Rumpy Pumpy

mzungu wrote: »

Benson and Hedges would have been your best bet there.

20 Carrolls would also work.

ytpe2r5bxkn0c1

You'd need lungs on you like an ox to get a decent pull from Marlboro Lights.

RayM

Don't worry, they might taste different, but they can still give you cancer.

Ulysses Gaze

Hammer89 wrote: »

Sure listen, hindsight is a great thing bruh. Fourteen down, six to go now.

Just take the remaining 6 and do this:

https://mcgarnagle.files.wordpress.com/2012/01/vlcsnap-00105.jpg

Hammer89

RayM wrote: »

Don't worry, they might taste different, but they can still give you cancer.

I'd rather have cancer than smoke Marlboro Lights again.

Ulysses Gaze

Hammer89 wrote: »

I'd rather have cancer than smoke Marlboro Lights again.

How many left to get through?

Hammer89

Still six I think, but I got a pack of real cigarettes since then so I'll save those sorry excuse for a cigarette for a rainy day I suspect.

Realt Dearg Sec

Hammer89 wrote: »

RayM wrote: »

Don't worry, they might taste different, but they can still give you cancer.

I'd rather have cancer than smoke Marlboro Lights again.

You should probably go to some other doctor.

AgileMyth

Smoke major or don't smoke.

biko

Smoke Lights erry day



#gangsta

Giblet

Rip the filters off Major, smoke it backwards.

Ragnar Lothbrok

OP, you are a victim of the ridiculous decision to hide cigarettes away in a big wooden box.

Throw the remaining Marlboro Lights in the bin, which is the only place they should ever be seen.

Roger Hassenforder

Hammer89 wrote: »

If Daniel O'Donnell and Niall Horan did cigarettes, they'd do Marlboro Lights. They're softer than Bono throwing rolls of Charmin at a television showing The Fault in Our Stars. Tesco, as it happened, didn't have my usual brand. "F*ck you then," I said (I didn't) and went to another place. Do you think they'd have them? Guess again, my friends.

My brand is John Player, but if they're unavailable then I usually punt for Mayfair. Sadly, this place had neither and I panicked. "Eh....have you got Marlboro Lights?" I imagine the people behind me in the queue had to hold in the laughter. "We do, yeah," said your one. She hits the button and they come tumbling down the machine.

"Why didn't I ask for Marlboro Red?" I wonder to myself instantly, but I was philosophical. I go outside and spark up, knowing that I've only got another 19 of these left before I can call myself a real man again. As of writing this there's seven left and I don't like them.

F*ck you 2017.

Is 2017 the year you come out finally?
You're only codding yourself with your JP, everyone knows. This time next year you'll be back decrying the fact you've just bought 20 Consulate by "mistake".

DEFTLEFTHAND

Dominik Purple Clothespin wrote: »

You'd need lungs on you like an ox to get a decent pull from Marlboro Lights.

Have an aunt who smokes Silk Cut Silver.

Like sucking air through a straw.

DEFTLEFTHAND

AgileMyth wrote: »

Smoke major or don't smoke.

Major are tipped.

What type of pussy smokes a filtered cigarette?

Real men smoke Players Navy Cut. :eek:

XsApollo

You also need lungs of steel to smoke a pack of Rothmans,
Die hard cigarettes there.

jimgoose

Yizzer all a bunch of fungin' wooftahs. Woodbines be the shiz-nit. Having said that, I smoke Marlboro Lights myself.