Lahvlahn Thread from 12/01/17 - Now we're talking

snubbleste

"castdown" again

TheHomeService

The lucky break, like getting a job in customer service in Eason.

somesoldiers

I thought “thank you for your service” was reserved for soldiers and the Emergency services

Atlantic Dawn

Whoy doesn't she apply to gutt fish down in Castletownbere?

run_Forrest_run

no encouragement?? jesus, is being skint not enough encouragement for her?

snubbleste

Donegal Catch...except it's from Argentina.

An Claidheamh

There seems to be a common thread among these people.

The EUs fault we trade our fish and take billions from the EU for our farmers.

It's Turas' fault they haven't any multimedia jobs.

Trawlers are at fault as they should hire Billy, even if he doesn't want to work there.

Del.Monte

Ah here we are - Wiki the fount of all knowledge.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Working_Links

somesoldiers

Well it's not free is it Joe- the fees are paid out of the licence fee and the hotel do it for the publicity on the licence fee payers dime

PeterTheNinth

And he would absolutely JUMP down your throat if you got a caller's name wrong, yet he's presenting the thing and gets the callers name wrong.

sligojoek

Mate of John's on now.

I dont see any hope what so ever listening to this muck.......

That girl is down & probably a lack of confidence, she probably doesnt need more education. She needs a job doing something!

I often hear people on the radio GLORYIFYING living in the country, big house away from all the townies etc.
No good if theres no bloody jobs for your kids now is it? or a 20 mile drive to the nearest one.

MmmChocolate

Eh...eh...em...eh...em...eh...eh...eh...em...eh...

sligojoek

PeterTheNinth wrote: »

And he would absolutely JUMP down your throat if you got a caller's name wrong, yet he's presenting the thing and gets the callers name wrong.

And it's written on the screen in fromt of him.

Red Kev

Roger_007 wrote: »

I was in my local shop yesterday. There was a new girl working there, she was from Lithuania. I asked her how she came to be working in a small village in Ireland. She said she just went around shops and pubs and asked for a job until she got one. I bet she never heard of Turas Nua.

There's a shop in the next town to us. Owner is about 70, a total sleazeball complete with cows lick hairstyle, pot belly and he has a wash about once a month.

Heard he had a Latvian woman working there during the recession when jobs were scarce. He is about 5ft 5in, she was 25, hitting 6ft, body like Michelle Prefer in Catwoman and was more than able to fill out her Polo shirt.

Pervy bastard that he was, she lasted 3 months and punched him one evening in front of the customers.

snubbleste

An Claidheamh wrote: »

There seems to be a common thread among these people.
The EUs fault we trade our fish and take billions from the EU for our farmers.
It's Turas' fault they haven't any multimedia jobs.
Trawlers are at fault as they should hire Billy, even if he doesn't want to work there.

The value of our fisheries is more than all the grants and aid we get for four decades.
Turas Nua are a private company making profit from dolies - the longer they are on their books,, the more the company get.
And the third one, I don't get. It is well-known that employers perfer foreigners for work as they may not be aware of their rights, have a lower cost of living as they can always "go home", whereas the Irish guy ahd to pay the high costs

Mike Guide 69

Another ad break???, ah here!!!!

Dan Jaman

I used to earwig on the trawlers' HF radio exchanges.
The language would make a sailor blush.
Funny as feck, though.

TheHomeService

Ready for the lecture from Ray?

An Claidheamh

Red Kev wrote: »

There's a shop in the next town to us. Owner is about 70, a total sleazeball complete with cows lick hairstyle, pot belly and he has a wash about once a month.

Heard he had a Latvian woman working there during the recession when jobs were scarce. He is about 5ft 5in, she was 25, hitting 6ft, body like Michelle Prefer in Catwoman and was more than able to fill out her Polo shirt.

Pervy bastard that he was, she lasted 3 months and punched him one evening in front of the customers.

Is this your screenplay?

What colour was the polo shirt? :-)

Atlantic Dawn

Shakira never got payed.

Atlantic Dawn

They should put them cutting the hedges.

Fujitsu10

Punched in the Stumick, where's that?

lawlolawl

Forcing someone to spend time in Carlow is a fairly awful thing to do to them.

snubbleste

Ah that was a nice show.
I'm going to look Billy Russell up in de phone book and give him a call.

sligojoek

Good move by the restaurant.

An Claidheamh

snubbleste wrote: »

The value of our fisheries is more than all the grants and aid we get for four decades.
Turas Nua are a private company making profit from dolies - the longer they are on their books,, the more the company get.
And the third one, I don't get. It is well-known that employers perfer foreigners for work as they may not be aware of their rights, have a lower cost of living as they can always "go home", whereas the Irish guy ahd to pay the high costs

But we need the common market to sell the fish. Stocks would be useless without it.

This Turas group appears to be doing something the welfare used to do, so you're probably right it's bizarre.

Not sure I believe everything Billy was saying.

Red Kev

An Claidheamh wrote: »

Is this your screenplay?

What colour was the polo shirt? :-)

It would be a Centra coloured one Joe.

An Claidheamh

Duffy better follow up with the restaurant.

Would prefer if Boucher Hayes was given his own show for consumer issues.
The amount of naming and shaming would probably do much to improve industries. That's really the only useful thing Liveline can do.

snubbleste

An Claidheamh wrote: »

But we need the common market to sell the fish. Stocks would be useless without it.
This Turas group appears to be doing something the welfare used to do, so you're probably right it's bizarre.
Not sure I believe everything Billy was saying.

Yes we do, but not the EU. We could do an Iceland and pay to the EU for access but not the rest of the obligations.
..
And don't diss Billy.

Atlantic Dawn

An Claidheamh wrote: »

But we need the common market to sell the fish. Stocks would be useless without it.

Not really, the majority of the pelagic fish which is by far the most important to this country is shipped outside the EU to Africa, Asia and Russia (when EU embargo wasn't there).

pc7

I was driving so haven't read thread but my god I was fuming at the mother of the 25 year old child! She should be knocking at every local business offering to do their website, facebook, twitter accounts for free to get some experience. Even look in local bars and restaurants and offer to do that for being trained as a waitress or something. Jebus Christ the mother driving her and waiting on her!! If she wants driving lessons let her save and pay for them, she's living at home, €230 would go along way towards them.

Ally Dick

snubbleste wrote: »

Irexit starts here and now!

We're too thick as a country to pull it off, and the politicians too cowardly and comfortable, rolling in the dough. They won't want to risk that

Hitchens

Topgear on Dave wrote: »

My workmate is from a fishing family in Killybegs and his father + brother are fishermen.

Me: "Would you go out on the boats?"

Him: "**** that no way"

Daniel O'Donnell and his mott sitting in Daniel's car in a lovers lane in Dubbalin, not much action from Dan.

she says (coyly) ..." Daniel, I'd like you to kiss me somewhere wet and fishy smelling"

he replies (narkily) ..."you can feck off if you think I'm driving to Killybegs this hour of the night"

Sonics2k

snubbleste wrote: »

The value of our fisheries is more than all the grants and aid we get for four decades.
Turas Nua are a private company making profit from dolies - the longer they are on their books,, the more the company get.
And the third one, I don't get. It is well-known that employers perfer foreigners for work as they may not be aware of their rights, have a lower cost of living as they can always "go home", whereas the Irish guy ahd to pay the high costs

Sorry, do you have a source or proof for this one?
I know people working for the company, and to my knowledge they actually don't get paid as a company until the person finds work or something. Certainly not the other way around.

Brian Scan

Hitchens wrote: »

Daniel O'Donnell and his mott sitting in Daniel's car in a lovers lane in Dubbalin, not much action from Dan.

she says (coyly) ..." Daniel, I'd like you to kiss me somewhere wet and fishy smelling"

he replies (narkily) ..."you can feck off if you think I'm driving to Killybegs this hour of the night"

Keep your phone on, the FF crew are bound to call.

4Ad

An Claidheamh wrote: »

Duffy better follow up with the restaurant.

Would prefer if Boucher Hayes was given his own show for consumer issues.
The amount of naming and shaming would probably do much to improve industries. That's really the only useful thing Liveline can do.

I rarely listen to the show but I only stayed listening so I could hear the name of the restaurant so I never go there (doubtful anyway)..
But the fishing argument was brilliant, my Father was glued to it also..Billy ya fecking gob****e, made a fool of himself, wouldn't take a job when offered on 'principle'.
Is the show always this much fun??

TheRiverman

Hitchens wrote: »

Daniel O'Donnell and his mott sitting in Daniel's car in a lovers lane in Dubbalin, not much action from Dan.

she says (coyly) ..." Daniel, I'd like you to kiss me somewhere wet and fishy smelling"

he replies (narkily) ..."you can feck off if you think I'm driving to Killybegs this hour of the night"

Contrary to popular belief a vagina in any clean or unclean state does not smell fishy and I'm speaking from experience,so to speak:p:p:D

Donal55

TheRiverman wrote: »

Contrary to popular belief a vagina in any clean or unclean state does not smell fishy and I'm speaking from experience,so to speak:p:p:D

Some of the ones I was with certainly did.

TheRiverman

Donal55 wrote: »

Some of the ones I was with certainly did.

Maybe they had some eels or pollocks in it before you got there:eek:

Atlantic Dawn

Irish callers to de Babestation chat line were getting through to people in Westport, I can imagine some of de filthy conversations de poor peoples would be subjected to. The ladies of Babestation will visit Westport on Thursday to "show support", whatever that will mean, Ryanair style marketing me thinks...

“Babestation are keen to stress, and will continue to do so publicly, that when dialling a UK number, the ‘0’ should be replaced by ’00 44’.

“As a show of support and recognition, Babestation, and two of their models, will be visiting Westport on 26 January at around 2pm to speak to residents and local people.”

http://www.thejournal.ie/babestation-mix-up-westport-3203474-Jan2017/

TheRiverman

Atlantic Dawn wrote: »

Irish callers to de Babestation chat line were getting through to people in Westport, I can imagine some of de filthy conversations de poor peoples would be subjected to. The ladies of Babestation will visit Westport on Thursday to "show support", whatever that will mean, Ryanair style marketing me thinks...



http://www.thejournal.ie/babestation-mix-up-westport-3203474-Jan2017/

Will they climb Croagh Patrick?

Odyssey 2005

Can ya get behind the couch. Me missus is coming down the stairs,and I can't find the remote.:)

Atlantic Dawn

TheRiverman wrote: »

Will they climb Croagh Patrick?

Jaysus, just Googled them there (not safe for de workplace so to speak), put it this way their normal TV attire wouldn't be suitable for the reek in the winter months

SEPT 23 1989

He will hunt down that euromillions winner

sligojoek

I must pull out the old telescope. I can see Croagh Patrick from up the road on a fine day.

ButtersSuki

TheRiverman wrote: »

Contrary to popular belief a vagina in any clean or unclean state does not smell fishy and I'm speaking from experience,so to speak:p:p:D

DO NOT goo-gull Blue Waffle then. I mean it - DON'T.

As for the odour......I respectfully disagree.....or should dat be dis-a-gee?

sligojoek

SEPT 23 1989 wrote: »

He will hunt down that euromillions winner

If it was me I'd go on like a shot. I'd fill a few lines of the bingo card before the bad line. And finish off with "How's de leg, Joe? Ya bo££ix.

ButtersSuki

4Ad wrote: »

I rarely listen to the show but I only stayed listening so I could hear the name of the restaurant so I never go there (doubtful anyway)..
But the fishing argument was brilliant, my Father was glued to it also..Billy ya fecking gob****e, made a fool of himself, wouldn't take a job when offered on 'principle'.
Is the show always this much fun??

What? Today's show wouldn't even make the top 1000 funniest/stupidest Lahv Lahn's ever.

THERE IS NOTHING FUNNIER ON RTE THAN LAHV LAHN (accompanied by this thread in real time so to speak).

Examples:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=F97i0tP3VUI

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-RwWeeR89Gw

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Wzd4eBaR7h8

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=q4y_24liaq0

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_PX7FSaBZW8

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GZwVtoqMzO4

And there's loads more.

The only time De Lahv lahn isn't funny is FunnyFryday.

Atlantic Dawn

SEPT 23 1989 wrote: »

He will hunt down that euromillions winner

I hope it's some old farmer geezer who likes the simpler things in life, when he gets the winnings he can go down the local tractor dealers and by the top of the range Massey Ferguson.