Seperation

Chester68

Hi, I've just started a judicial seperation and feel completely over whelmed with fear. I am so sad for the loss of my partner ,the anger and upset of our children some of whom seem to now hate me. I have no extended family and no one to share my fears with. I am struggling to breath sometimes ,cannot sleep or eat. I had no idea these feelings would be so intense, I thought the unhappiness,loneliness and loss of my identity was hard to cope with in my marriage but this is worse.

Are their any support groups in Cork with people in the same situation?

Would like any advice to help me cope with this.

guppy

Chester68 wrote: »

Hi, I've just started a judicial seperation and feel completely over whelmed with fear. I am so sad for the loss of my partner ,the anger and upset of our children some of whom seem to now hate me. I have no extended family and no one to share my fears with. I am struggling to breath sometimes ,cannot sleep or eat. I had no idea these feelings would be so intense, I thought the unhappiness,loneliness and loss of my identity was hard to cope with in my marriage but this is worse.

Are their any support groups in Cork with people in the same situation?

Would like any advice to help me cope with this.

I have no advice, but I'm so sorry you're feeling this way ðŸ™

I'm going through the same, but reluctantly, as in, things were ok with the separation, but now money has become a thing, two years on, so now I need judicial separation.

If you'd like to pm, and if it's not against the charter, please do.

JimmyMW

Chester68 wrote: »

Hi, I've just started a judicial seperation and feel completely over whelmed with fear. I am so sad for the loss of my partner ,the anger and upset of our children some of whom seem to now hate me. I have no extended family and no one to share my fears with. I am struggling to breath sometimes ,cannot sleep or eat. I had no idea these feelings would be so intense, I thought the unhappiness,loneliness and loss of my identity was hard to cope with in my marriage but this is worse.

Are their any support groups in Cork with people in the same situation?

Would like any advice to help me cope with this.

Hi how are you getting on now, I am in a very similar position right now and i have never felt worse in my life, does all this get better or is more of a numbness that develops

Chester68

Hi,

It gets better, hard to believe at the time. It took about 5 years from start to finish, am now divorced and feeling good. All the fears and anxiety have gone and feel happy and calm . It was so hard , but glad that I persevered and got out of a very unhappy marriage. No words or advice will comfort you, just keep getting through each day the best way you can. You will have a good life again .

wtd2008

Anyone got any advice on pensions? I'm finding it so hard to get information.
Would a spouse be entitled to half a pension that is not happening for 15 years or so?

Chester68

Hi,

Everything is up for negotiation.

One might keep pension, one might get extra 10% of house, one might get to keep savings , one might have to give the other some savings. It’s just a case of reaching something that you are both happy with. Pension is just an asset that has to be agreed on. Your just trying to reach a point where you can both move on . Personally I did not look for share in pension but took extra share in property as it was more beneficial to have money now rather than years down the rd. Its all negotiation ! Just be prepared to give something.