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Childless mid-life crisis

LegacyUser · 2017-01-30 21:45:20

Hi. I'm a 52 year gay man. In my 20s I knew I wanted to have children but I didn't know how to go about it and I didn't want to destroy other people's lives. I also realised that I was attracted to other men - which was illegal, unpopular and totally unacceptable during the 1980s. I've lived through Irelands gay…

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#32 04-02-2017 06:45PM

eviltwin

Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 17,495 ✭✭✭✭

Join Date: September 2009

Posts: 17343

My parents had me late and it was something I always hated. The contrast with my friends parents who were a good ten to fifteen years younger was stark. I lost my father young and have a mother plagued with health issues. My friends parents are still young.

I know health is a lottery and having children young is no guarantee of anything but you can't argue with biology.

I had my family young because it's fairer on the children but also because I don't want to leave them when they are still teenagers, I want to still be part of their lives when they are in their 20's, 30's and beyond.

As an adult I see the relationship my friends have with their parents has evolved into a unique friendship that is lovely to observe, going for pints, to matches, on holiday etc. Your role as parent doesn't end when your kids become independent. I think it would be irresponsible to have a child, a first child especially, at such an advanced age.

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