Child Support - Parents in separate countries

Marytipp86

Hi,

I hope I'm in the right place to get some help with my question.

I am Irish and 4 months pregnant and just returned home to Ireland after living in the States for a long time. The main reason I returned home is because the father of the child, an American, has made it perfectly clear he does not want the child and my raising the baby alone in America without any support was an impossibility.

I am wondering what his rights/responsibilities are in this case and how best to navigate it all. He has explicitly said he does not want to pay, my suggestion of $100 per month, for a child he won't be raising. Well it was his choice to not want to raise them, still pushing for an abortion etc.

I will be OK to raise my child without his financial support however it would of course be a great help. I am wondering what his rights are here too if he decides at any point he wants to see the child? I do not want to use the child as a weapon against him however I do not want to get into murky territory either.

If I was to say 'Fine, forget about child support' Does that still allow him rights to the child? And if he says, as he has, "I won't pay unless I'm raising the child' then is it as simple as that?

Thanks in advance for your help.

pilly

I can only give an answer in respect of child support. You have no hope of getting it from Ireland through the US, there's no agreement between the 2 countries. I know because my ex moved to America and I spent 2 years trying, never happened.

Don't know about his rights with regard to seeing the child but it doesn't sound like he'll bother anyway to be honest.

Marytipp86

Thanks Pilly.

Marytipp86

Marytipp86 wrote: »

the father of the child, an American, has made it perfectly clear he does not want the child ... it was his choice to not want to raise them, still pushing for an abortion etc.

if he says, as he has, "I won't pay unless I'm raising the child' then is it as simple as that?

I'm a bit confused, does he want the child only if it's raised in the US?

Big Bag of Chips

I think you need to accept that if you are going to become a mother, you are going to become a single mother with no input from the dad. Getting maintenance from him will be next to impossible. It's not exactly easy if he lives in the same country as you, ask some of the mothers here!!

In saying that, there is also nothing stopping him swanning in in 15 or 16 years time and demanding to see his child. And there's also nothing stopping the child from wanting to make contact with their dad when their old enough to want to either.

Maintenance and access are treated separately by Irish courts. So you could have a father who has regular access with his child who pays little or no maintenance.

Marytipp86

No, he's made it very clear he doesn't want the child regardless. That's the reason I cam back in the first place.