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Relationship anxiety: thinking about my ex again!

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  • 23-02-2017 4:16am
    #1
    millionmiles
    Registered Users Posts: 1 ✭


    Having serious anxiety in my relationship. Been with the a guy for 3 years, in my early 20's. Every now and then I think about my ex. I broke up with my ex after I heard he had cheated on me, after I confronted him and felt he was lying. It ended badly and I didn't hear from him until we got back in contact during the period where my current boyfriend and I briefly broke up. There was only about a six month gap between breaking up with him (my ex) and getting with the guy I am with currently.

    My current boyfriend and I broke up for about two weeks 3-4 months ago, during which time I felt like I could add my ex back on facebook and other social media such as snapchat followed. I had gotten close to this ex again and he went into talking about how sorry he was about the way things ended years ago and he never cheated on me and how he wishes he had the chance to fight for us to prove it. My relationship with my ex boyfriend (who I no longer believe he cheated while we were together) was great, he respected me and was always kind and a gentleman.

    After getting back with the guy I was, and still am seeing, I had to delete my ex on social media again (current boyfriend jealous) therefore, I never got the opportunity to meet up for coffee with him and catch up.

    I really do love my boyfriend so much but I feel like I am doing him wrong by even thinking about my ex boyfriend and feel like I cannot talk to him about my worries. I don't know what to do because this has happened a few times over the last 3 years with my boyfriend, each time I feel guilty for even thinking about it but I really do not know what I am supposed to do or who I can talk to!
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    #2
    Mr. Incognito
    Registered Users Posts: 9,798 ✭✭✭Mr. Incognito


    Thinking about exes is normal

    Pining for them on occassion is normal

    Sabotaging your current relationship is not.

    We forget the bad times and exaggerate the good.

    Your ex is an ex for a reason. Enjoy your relationship or end it and meet up with your ex but i think youll be disappointed


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    #3
    Bambi985
    Closed Accounts Posts: 1,274 ✭✭✭Bambi985


    Honestly it sounds like you are the problem here and not either of these two guys. you're not over your ex and that's causing major trust issues in your current relationship.

    Why did you throw yourself back into texting and snapchatting with him as soon as you broke up with your boyfriend? it suggests he was either the cause of the breakup because you couldn't stop thinking about him, or you're not comfortable being on your own for any length of time.

    Think about how you felt when you thought your ex was cheating. that's what your current boyfriend is now going through - the same insecurity and paranoia, watching you get in contact with him, wondering if you're meeting up with him etc. is it fair on him?

    i think in an ideal world right now you'd be single and spend some time getting your head straight without dating anyone for a while, which you never did in the aftermath of breaking up with the ex. but you won't do that because real life is a bit trickier. so you either cut complete contact with ex for GOOD this time on ALL social media platforms and focus on building up the trust between you and the current fella. who's head i'm sure is wrecked at the minute. if you truly love him as you say you do, his welfare will be more important than any thoughts of your ex.


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