How do I dump my trainer?

PearlJ

So here goes... I joined a gym in late November and in January took on the services of a Personal trainer attached to the gym I'm going to.
I meet him once a week and go to the gym myself four times a week.

The problem is I don't think my trainer is a good match for me.
I get the impression that he's the kind of trainer for already really fit, buff people that want to get even buffer.
Me?.. The most I do is walk regularly, I did attend a personal trainer before for a couple of years and found it great so I know the work that's expected of you and I do try my hardest. But I'm a middle aged woman, just looking to get fit and drop a few pounds. I'm not looking to enter Miss Universe anytime soon.Now I'm not a heifer but I could do with losing a stone or stone and a half.

I find the trainer really discouraging. His demeanor totally changes when I come in to the gym. His shoulders sink and I feel like an irritation.
He'll show me moves to do once, if I don't understand him or I position myself incorrectly he'll just say, "Forget it, we'll do something else".
He never watches what I'm doing, he's on his phone or watching other people in the gym.
He gives me tips on my diet like eating protein for breakfast, protein shakes that kind of thing - I tell him I just want something that I can maintain long term and I have no intention of doing that forever - I like food - He looks at me like I just him I take meth. But I have cut out carbs, sweets, fizzy drinks and massively reduced my portions.

Every session I feel bad about myself and my ability and want to cut him loose. We have a text ish relationship.

How do I tell him I don't want to be trained by him anymore without causing hassle - I'll still have to meet him around the gym.

Advice appreciated. Thanks all.

rustynutz

PearlJ wrote: »

So here goes... I joined a gym in late November and in January took on the services of a Personal trainer attached to the gym I'm going to.
I meet him once a week and go to the gym myself four times a week.

The problem is I don't think my trainer is a good match for me.
I get the impression that he's the kind of trainer for already really fit, buff people that want to get even buffer.
Me?.. The most I do is walk regularly, I did attend a personal trainer before for a couple of years and found it great so I know the work that's expected of you and I do try my hardest. But I'm a middle aged woman, just looking to get fit and drop a few pounds. I'm not looking to enter Miss Universe anytime soon.Now I'm not a heifer but I could do with losing a stone or stone and a half.

I find the trainer really discouraging. His demeanor totally changes when I come in to the gym. His shoulders sink and I feel like an irritation.
He'll show me moves to do once, if I don't understand him or I position myself incorrectly he'll just say, "Forget it, we'll do something else".
He never watches what I'm doing, he's on his phone or watching other people in the gym.
He gives me tips on my diet like eating protein for breakfast, protein shakes that kind of thing - I tell him I just want something that I can maintain long term and I have no intention of doing that forever - I like food - He looks at me like I just him I take meth. But I have cut out carbs, sweets, fizzy drinks and massively reduced my portions.

Every session I feel bad about myself and my ability and want to cut him loose. We have a text ish relationship.

How do I tell him I don't want to be trained by him anymore without causing hassle - I'll still have to meet him around the gym.

Advice appreciated. Thanks all.

There is obviously only one way out of this ........ murder him and bury his body deep up in the wicklow mountains

Seriously, just tell him thanks for all the help and advice but you are going to start training on your own from now on. Go into the gym yourself for a couple of weeks traing and if you feel the need to employ another trainer at that point, go ahead. You owe him nothing, he owes you nothing, simple as! But if that doesnt suit ya there is always Plan A

stevoman

your the paying customer so that's that. just say thanks im ok from now on, im going to work on my own programme and walk away. no biggie.

me_right_one

I assume you have to pay for his services. You could always use that as an excuse, just thank him, but make it clear that your budget will not suit having a personal trainer for the foreseeable future. He has no right to ask you why.

COH

PearlJ wrote: »

The problem is I don't think my trainer is a good match for me.

You are under no obligation to work with someone you feel is a bad fit

I find the trainer really discouraging.

Not cool

His demeanor totally changes when I come in to the gym. His shoulders sink and I feel like an irritation.

Not cool

He'll show me moves to do once

Not cool

if I don't understand him or I position myself incorrectly he'll just say, "Forget it, we'll do something else".

Not cool

He never watches what I'm doing

Seriously not cool

he's on his phone or watching other people in the gym.

Punch him in the windpipe

He looks at me like I just him I take meth.

Not cool

Every session I feel bad about myself and my ability

Your trainer is a f*cking d*ckhead and isn't very good at his job

How do I tell him I don't want to be trained by him anymore without causing hassle - I'll still have to meet him around the gym.

Like this:

I no longer wish to work together


It won't cause any hassle - remember you are the customer, and to be honest it sounds like you are/have been ripped off.

"Mr Trainer, I think we should see other people."

Its really as easy as that.

Mr trainer, welcome to dumpsville. Population: you

Alf Veedersane

"It's not you, it's me."


"No wait. It is you".

Your trainer isn't a trainer. He's the kind of person who's inadequacies are masked by people who have an idea what they're doing and it's likely his programs are cookie cutter bullsh*t or a collection of movements that yield progress because they're being done regularly.

But he's not a trainer. Not least because a trainer wants to help their client and not just treat them like a waste of their time.

He's a spoofer, at best. Tell him you won't be able to avail of his services again because you value your money and time.

Dani90

PearlJ wrote: »

So here goes... I joined a gym in late November and in January took on the services of a Personal trainer attached to the gym I'm going to.
I meet him once a week and go to the gym myself four times a week.

The problem is I don't think my trainer is a good match for me.
I get the impression that he's the kind of trainer for already really fit, buff people that want to get even buffer.
Me?.. The most I do is walk regularly, I did attend a personal trainer before for a couple of years and found it great so I know the work that's expected of you and I do try my hardest. But I'm a middle aged woman, just looking to get fit and drop a few pounds. I'm not looking to enter Miss Universe anytime soon.Now I'm not a heifer but I could do with losing a stone or stone and a half.

I find the trainer really discouraging. His demeanor totally changes when I come in to the gym. His shoulders sink and I feel like an irritation.
He'll show me moves to do once, if I don't understand him or I position myself incorrectly he'll just say, "Forget it, we'll do something else".
He never watches what I'm doing, he's on his phone or watching other people in the gym.
He gives me tips on my diet like eating protein for breakfast, protein shakes that kind of thing - I tell him I just want something that I can maintain long term and I have no intention of doing that forever - I like food - He looks at me like I just him I take meth. But I have cut out carbs, sweets, fizzy drinks and massively reduced my portions.

Every session I feel bad about myself and my ability and want to cut him loose. We have a text ish relationship.

How do I tell him I don't want to be trained by him anymore without causing hassle - I'll still have to meet him around the gym.

Advice appreciated. Thanks all.

He doesn't sound to good to be honest, if he was interested enough in his job as a personal trainer he would enjoy training all levels of fitness. On his phone while training you and telling you to forget about something you don't understand instead of explaining it is very unprofessional. Don't worry about him, tell him you dont want to do it anymore and go at your own pace without someone like that making you more uncomfortable than you already are. Let him get back to flexing his muscles and taking his protein 😊

wpd

Think you should print off your post and give it to him next time you see him

that should sort it out nicely

John_Rambo

stevoman wrote: »

your the paying customer so that's that. just say thanks im ok from now on, im going to work on my own programme and walk away. no biggie.

But, she, like me can't use the equipment properly and needs a trainer.

Hey, OP... just tell teacher. Feic him, we're all adults and he's clearly not interested. It will be good for both of you to part ways. He might get a bollicking, but he might deserve it and I guarantee you his actions have been observed anyway. From my impressions there's LOTS of willing, professional young trainers out there.

You'll get the right treatment if you complain with good reason in Ireland, it's not the other way around any more.

freemenfitness

You are paying for a service if the service is no good you take your money elsewhere just like anything else. A good trainer is there to help, educate and motivate you to help you meet your goals. If you went to a restaurant that kept serving ****ty food you would not go back same with a trainer.

This guy seems to do none of it. If you need another trainer shop around and find one that fits your needs. There are a lot of good and bad trainers out there like any industry and you need to find what meets your needs.

Just tell him "thank you and I no longer want to keep training with you." You owe him nothing it is him who owes you a good service in return for the money you give him which he is not doing.

dashoonage

i'd use a billboard to be honest. somewhere along the m50....

WHIP IT!

When I was about 14 I wanted to break up with my then (very lovely) girlfriend but I didn't really want to have the whole awkward conversation (no text messages in those days) so, genius that I was, I decided to kiss another girl and tell a few people about it in the hope that it'd get back to my GF and she'd break up with me... she didn't find out... I had to do the dirty work myself and ended it over the phone (like a gentleman)... two days later she found out about me stickin' the lips on Girl2 and next time she saw me she slapped me in the face and called me a pr*ck!

Don't be like WHIP IT, WHIP IT is an idiot... be upfront with your girlfriend trainer and end it at the next available opportunity...

swededmonkey

You're PT sounds like an extremely unprofessional dickhead. They are not a cheap service to avail of on a weekly basis. You deserve to be getting bang for your buck. Part of their role is to encourage you and push you on in a positive way. To avoid any awkwardness, politely cancel your next session. Tell them you can't commit to PT sessions because of other commitments. He will be in no position to question what these are. Tip away yourself for a few weeks and if there is another trainer in the gym, initiate discussions at that point

JustAThought

+ 1 on the unprofessional. So he's young & buff & popular & you don't want him sneering or jeering you from afar but what you have painted is a fairly bleak picture of a very mediocre 'trainer'. I wonder how much you have paid him so far ? (Arn't they usually e60 per session?)

Cut your losses today & do your pocket , motivation& self esteem a favour - and help save any other poor unfortunate from his sloppy disinterested ways.

Tell him nicely what you said here. You no longerwish to have him as a trainer - you feel there is a big gap between your expectations & the service he delivers & you have been making allowances but are aggrieved/dissappointed by some of the characteristics of his service such as being disinterested & disengaged from you as the client during your sessions, being diatracted by what is going on in the gym during your sessions, and that his dismissive 'don't bother' responses which are unhelpful & make you feel bad & his frequent lack of preperation or disengagement by the social use of his phone during sessions isn't acceptable. All together they paint a very disheartening picture.

Hopefully he will mend his ways & someone else won'thave to put up with him treating them like that too. If he tries to do a deal with you just say no - you found it an uninspiring/underwhelming / disinterested & depressing experience.

LynnGrace

Are there other trainers working there? Honestly, I would tell him straight out, this doesn't seem to be working, and try one of the others.

I left one gym where they were happy to take my money, (and many others like me), but were only really interested in some of their clients - despite the blurb on their website about personal attention and so on. (Small, privately owned place).

Moved elsewhere, 100% better, in every way.

pinkypinky

Is he employed by the gym or someone who operates within independently? If the former, then you should mention it to management, but if the latter, do as others have suggested and tell him you want to do your own thing. If he asks why, depending on how you feel about it, you could summarise your first post above. Unless you have a contract for X number sessions which have not been completed, you have no obligation to him.

PearlJ

Thanks everyone for your messages. So I bit the bullet and texted him. Told him thanks for his time but I'm happy to go ahead by myself from now on and feel like he's shown me enough to allow me to train myself.
I got a text back saying: So the gym rang you so... No says I, why so and replies with: I have asked that you be referred on to another trainer who would be better suited to your requirements.
I'm reading between the lines and assuming I'm too old, fat and unfit for his liking.
Hence I feel amazing 😕

Alf Veedersane

PearlJ wrote: »

Thanks everyone for your messages. So I bit the bullet and texted him. Told him thanks for his time but I'm happy to go ahead by myself from now on and feel like he's shown me enough to allow me to train myself.
I got a text back saying: So the gym rang you so... No says I, why so and replies with: I have asked that you be referred on to another trainer who would be better suited to your requirements.
I'm reading between the lines and assuming I'm too old, fat and unfit for his liking.
Hence I feel amazing 😕

A good trainer is capable of training anyone across the spectrum. Nothing you've said suggested he's any good as a trainer.

He has basically admitted that he doesn't know how to train outside of a narrow range of capabilities. You want to train, to learn...he didn't know how to train you.

There's only one person who should feel bad about themselves here and it isn't you.

PearlJ

PearlJ wrote: »

Thanks everyone for your messages. So I bit the bullet and texted him. Told him thanks for his time but I'm happy to go ahead by myself from now on and feel like he's shown me enough to allow me to train myself.
I got a text back saying: So the gym rang you so... No says I, why so and replies with: I have asked that you be referred on to another trainer who would be better suited to your requirements.
I'm reading between the lines and assuming I'm too old, fat and unfit for his liking.
Hence I feel amazing 😕

It could also be a "you can't fire me, I QUIT!!!"
He sounds fairly useless
I know it's easier said than done, but try not to mind him

CalamariFritti

Fitness forum is not my neck of the woods but your OP struck a chord with me.
Don't let him drag you down. He's clearly an a**hole. And the fact you get up and hit the gym a few times a week is enough reason to make you feel good about yourself. And you'll be fit and even happier about yourself in no time and he'll still be an a**hole.

sadie1502

PearlJ wrote: »

Thanks everyone for your messages. So I bit the bullet and texted him. Told him thanks for his time but I'm happy to go ahead by myself from now on and feel like he's shown me enough to allow me to train myself.
I got a text back saying: So the gym rang you so... No says I, why so and replies with: I have asked that you be referred on to another trainer who would be better suited to your requirements.
I'm reading between the lines and assuming I'm too old, fat and unfit for his liking.
Hence I feel amazing 😕

I would actually thinks it's in the gyms best interests and any other member of the public that you fill in the gaps for them. He was uselss by all accounts disinterested and a big waste of money. You were too nice.

Alf Veedersane

Also, if you want you can say the general area you're in and there might be recommendations of a good trainer

arybvtcw0eolkf

I think your trainer would learn lots being coached by me, I'm always looking for cannon fodder new members just like him [actually NOTHING like him].

Yup, I think your PT needs Judo in his life

learn_more

This reminds me of something I overheard in my gym once. A newbie young guy is having a one-on-one in the office beside the treadmill which I could overhear. Prolly his first day, getting weighed etc. Could hear the guy speaking to the trainer and the trainer responding with "yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah", "yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah", "yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah", to everything he said. I was like oh the poor guy he must feel like ****.

Transform

PearlJ wrote: »

Thanks everyone for your messages. So I bit the bullet and texted him. Told him thanks for his time but I'm happy to go ahead by myself from now on and feel like he's shown me enough to allow me to train myself.
I got a text back saying: So the gym rang you so... No says I, why so and replies with: I have asked that you be referred on to another trainer who would be better suited to your requirements.
I'm reading between the lines and assuming I'm too old, fat and unfit for his liking.
Hence I feel amazing 😕

Good woman yourself and if ANY trainer is not fired with enthusiasm to work with their clients then by all means fire them with enthusiasm

dashoonage

I think he needs to be sent someone who is actually fat old and unfit.....like COH.....i bet COH and him would get on realllll welll.....

razorblunt

PearlJ wrote: »

Thanks everyone for your messages. So I bit the bullet and texted him. Told him thanks for his time but I'm happy to go ahead by myself from now on and feel like he's shown me enough to allow me to train myself.
I got a text back saying: So the gym rang you so... No says I, why so and replies with: I have asked that you be referred on to another trainer who would be better suited to your requirements.
I'm reading between the lines and assuming I'm too old, fat and unfit for his liking.
Hence I feel amazing 😕

You were way too nice there. The impression you gave him is that you were happy with the service he provided.
The guy or at the very least the gym management need to know of your experience.

Taylor365

Sounds like he doesn't like being a trainer...

I'll train you for free OP! :pac:







(disclaimer: I'm no professional, but a decade of the gym and Muay Thai have taught me how to hurt myself!)

PearlJ

So another update for you!. The gym manager pulled me aside last night and said that the trainer had been let go. Mostly in part because after our last gym session he went out to the reception area and spoke very badly about me generally, also claiming I was late and wasn't paying - Which wasn't true as the Manager said I had been paying him and he was in reception for my sessions so knew I wasn't late.

He said that it the culmination of a few things but apologised and said he would put me on the list for another trainer and said that they usually hire based on personality and they dropped the ball with him. Ouch.
I feel bad for him losing his job but what a d**k. It puts me off going to another trainer if that's what they think of me.

freemenfitness

Dont be put off like you said this guy was a dick but there are some wonderful trainers out there who will help you reach your goals. This guy getting fired goes to show how bad of a trainer he was.

BrokenArrows

Sounds like he got what he deserved.

Zillah

He sounds like exactly the sort of guy who would treat women the same way on dating apps. That whole "I was dumping you anyway" thing screams insecurity.

Transform

PearlJ wrote: »

So another update for you!. The gym manager pulled me aside last night and said that the trainer had been let go. Mostly in part because after our last gym session he went out to the reception area and spoke very badly about me generally, also claiming I was late and wasn't paying - Which wasn't true as the Manager said I had been paying him and he was in reception for my sessions so knew I wasn't late.

He said that it the culmination of a few things but apologised and said he would put me on the list for another trainer and said that they usually hire based on personality and they dropped the ball with him. Ouch.
I feel bad for him losing his job but what a d**k. It puts me off going to another trainer if that's what they think of me.

where do you live?

Cork Lass

Life is too short to be putting up with that level of service.
I have a 45 minute weekly PT session included in my gym membership and my trainer is fantastic. Despite injury (shoulder surgery 15 months ago and a total knee replacement last week) I have never left the gym feeling bad. Sessions were always worked out to help me get the best workout possible and if I couldn't manage something there was always an alternative - never once did I receive anything but encouragement. Obviously I'm on a bit of a break at the moment but she has a plan ready for me when I return in a few weeks. Now that's a good trainer.

PearlJ

Transform wrote: »

where do you live?

I'd rather not say. I'm totally paranoid he'll see this. Bad enough he lost his job.

Noxin

PearlJ wrote: »

I'd rather not say. I'm totally paranoid he'll see this. Bad enough he lost his job.

If he's on here, he already knows this thread is about him. :pac:
Good riddance to a bad PT!

razorblunt

I wouldn't feel bad for him, I feel bad for you or anyone else that didn't fit his eye of the needle category for the type of person he likes to train.

I would also feel bad for anyone else that may have got booked up with him had management not stepped in.

Sangre

This story had everything. A beginning, a middle and an end.

10/10. Would read again.

FTA69

Don't feel guilty in the slightest about him being let go; you didn't cause him to lose his job - he lost his own job by being a useless sh*t and then acting like a petulant big mouth when he lost his client.