Fella lacking affection

SGSM

I'm a 23 year old fella and find myself regularly lacking the affection of a woman.
When i say affection, i don't necessarily mean sex now.
Over the years I've had very little luck with women. I can genuinely count the amount of women I've kissed on two hands which is rare for a guy my age. I've been told by a few female friends that I'm quite hot but i used to be very shy.

I find myself longing for cuddles and kisses etc. Ive felt like this for the last number of years but have always been able to put it to the back of my mind but at the same time, years pass and still no solution.

My question is how do young men deal with the isolation and loneliness of not having women show any interest in them?

All opinions appreciated.

Thank you for reading.

BetsyEllen

SGSM wrote: »

I'm a 23 year old fella and find myself regularly lacking the affection of a woman.
When i say affection, i don't necessarily mean sex now.
Over the years I've had very little luck with women. I can genuinely count the amount of women I've kissed on two hands which is rare for a guy my age. I've been told by a few female friends that I'm quite hot but i used to be very shy.

I find myself longing for cuddles and kisses etc. Ive felt like this for the last number of years but have always been able to put it to the back of my mind but at the same time, years pass and still no solution.

My question is how do young men deal with the isolation and loneliness of not having women show any interest in them?

All opinions appreciated.

Thank you for reading.

Are you doing much to meet someone, like go on dates etc?

SGSM

BetsyEllen wrote:

Are you doing much to meet someone, like go on dates etc?

I haven't had one in ages but not for the want of trying.

BetsyEllen

SGSM wrote: »

I haven't had one in ages but not for the want of trying.

How are you trying, are you using dating sites like plenty of fish?

I know what it's like to feel a lack of affection - sometimes you just need a good hug.
It's human nature, everyone feels lonely from time to time.

It's the part I miss most about being in a relationship. Sex is great of course but just the intimacy of laying with someone and having a cuddle on the sofa, or holding hands.

You need to work on your confidence.
You've been told you're hot but you admit you are shy.
I've met plenty of good looking guys in my life but if they're shy, it is a turn off to be honest.

Keep going with the dating sites and make more on an effort to message people first and ask for dates. The more you do it, the more confident you'll become.

Do you do much in your spare time, any hobbies?
Just wondering if you're socialising much as this would help you to feel more comfortable around people and therefore feel more confident when looking for dates.

SGSM

Thanks for reply. I am using dating sites but tbh i live in a rural area with not much to do and its not exactly great for those sites.
Tbh I'm not shy anymore but ive been told that I'm very nice which may be a turn off for women too.

Idle Passerby

SGSM wrote: »

ive been told that I'm very nice which may be a turn off for women too.

Being a nice person isn't a turn off, that's a total misconception. The word "nice" however can be used as a euphemism for someone who is dull, or too fawning or a bit of a doormat. I'm not saying you are these things but being called nice isn't exactly a compliment in all scenarios and its a flasehood to think that women are turned off by decent men.

If your being told your very nice, it may be that people see you as a decent guy, but nothing stands out as particularly interesting about you. Ironically, the way to encourage people to see you as interesting is to stop trying to impress them and instead get involved in things you yourself find interesting. That way you'll not only meet people who you have things in common with, you'll come across as someone with interests and hobbies of their own who isn't looking for someone else to keep them amused.

Mr. Incognito

You live in an isolated area- is there anyone in the cities you can visit for a few days? arrange some dates while you are there.

SGSM

Idle Passerby wrote:

Being a nice person isn't a turn off, that's a total misconception. The word "nice" however can be used as a euphemism for someone who is dull, or too fawning or a bit of a doormat. I'm not saying you are these things but being called nice isn't exactly a compliment in all scenarios and its a flasehood to think that women are turned off by decent men. If your being told your very nice, it may be that people see you as a decent guy, but nothing stands out as particularly interesting about you. Ironically, the way to encourage people to see you as interesting is to stop trying to impress them and instead get involved in things you yourself find interesting. That way you'll not only meet people who you have things in common with, you'll come across as someone with interests and hobbies of their own who isn't looking for someone else to keep them amused.

I get your point. I think my niceness may be too nice tho. Like I always find myself wanting to do things to help people which right or wrong may be seen as walk over or not sexy enough. Bare in mind I'm talking about women in their early 20's who a lot want excitement and adventure etc.

The hobby thing is very true. I've joined a gym and plan on really toning up which is a good start for having my own interest.

Thanks for your reply.

SGSM

Mr. Incognito wrote:

You live in an isolated area- is there anyone in the cities you can visit for a few days? arrange some dates while you are there.

I could but how do you arrange dates for an area? I don't know any women from there.

Taltos

Mod Note
OP, you've posted on this multiple times already and have already received pages of advice on what you should do. We're not going to ask our posters here to retread ground on this.

You need to take ownership here and make some positive changes in your life possibly with some expert and professional advice.
As it stands though PI is no longer able to help you and in fact may be enabling the perpetuation of the circumstances you see yourself in. Should you open another thread on this topic or similar in PI we'll similarly close it but we shall also remove your posting rights for your own protection.