Do you fancy your other half?

topper75

oneilla wrote: »

Housework is kind of necessary and ought to be shared.

Hold it just one moment :mad:

That is merely a proposed referendum right now and no legislation has been passed yet.

Lux23

Yes, he's a ride.

EmmetWhitey

Murrisk wrote: »

I don't believe in soulmates but I do believe there are people that you very well suited to and it seems unlikely that everyone who marries someone from the same town as them found one of those people who they share excellent compatibility with.

Do you think Dave from Longford Town is going to share an excellent compatibility with Adebowale the daughter of a goat farmer from Ghana?
No of course not they are going to be a lot more compatible with someone who is coming from the relatively same background as themselves.

WhiteMemento9

_Whimsical_ wrote: »

I have to say I agree.
Also how likely is it that people who've known each other all their teen and adult life suddenly start seeing each other in a new delilciously sexy light at 37?? That balding and a pot belly just added that certain "je ne said quoi" to the package that suddenly rendered it irresistable?
And 5 years later is that sexy light still casting a rosy glow over those features that never interested you before?
I wonder.

I think marriage is an awful lot more than sex though. At some point I'm sure you enjoy the closeness of a loving warm body and having that along with a good day to day relationship and raport is just as or more important to you as having someone who might get your engine running so to speak!

We are probably all fooling ourselves that we are all fanciable fabulous sexy creatures just waiting for the right person to see that. There have to be a lot of... I won't say settlers, I'll say a lot of compromisers out there, and I'm pretty sure a lot of them are happy. Some are probably haunted by what might have been had they just hung on out the prowl though or because our culture tells us that everyone should be madly sexually stimulated and besotted with their life partner. I'm increasingly suspicious that madly fancying someone doesn't last in most cases anyway.

Or maybe I'm just feeling cynical tonight

I think it is only natural that the animal sexual attraction fades over time. Women especially as they get older don't generally hold the same raw initial magnetism on a purely superficial level that attracts men.

Sex though is generally at least for myself two different things. You can have sex with the raw sexual attraction of the animal inside just fancying the pants off someone. That is satisfying urges in a really hedonistic way. Then you have sex with someone with whom you have a strong emotional bond and also fancy the pants off, FIREWORKS

I think as long as the emotional bond stays strong then the sex is far more satisfying than just the animalistic thing on it own even when maybe the physical attraction fades slightly. That said it doesn't quieten those animal urges when you meet someone you magnetically find attractive on first viewing.

WhiteMemento9

Dr Crayfish wrote: »

No she's put on a lot of weight in the last few years and now I visit prostitutes to compensate.
What do you expect posters in Boardsland to say on this thread? I've said it here before, there's no such thing as a problematic relationship on boards unless you're posting anonymously

Personally I've lost interest in sex with a couple of previous girlfriends eventually. It led to other problems and would definitely have contributed to the eventual demise. It's not that I didn't find them attractive as such I just got bored with the sex and even started to look elsewhere if I'm being honest. I think spending so much time with one person makes me just get tired of them, so I'm not sure I'm cut out for relationships. If I ever end up with someone again I'd like to think it would be different though.

While I extoll the virtues of good relationships I should say that also do agree with this. I know far more people in relationships like the one the OP describes which are complete settles, many of which are completely toxic than I do people in good ones. Sometimes both parties are OK with the settling thing and can make it work which I guess is a personal thing to yourself and what you want from life. It doesn't though end up with much happiness from what I have seen.

WhiteMemento9

I hate that I seem to have killed off all the feel-good stories from couples in love

mvl

WhiteMemento9 wrote: »

I hate that I seem to have killed off all the feel-good stories from couples in love

just curious, are all couples you refer to here ... monogamous ?

WhiteMemento9

mvl wrote: »

just curious, are all couples you refer to here ... monogamous ?

I'm not sure on the context you are asking this question. Are you asking in a wider sense do I believe monogamy is the only way a happy relationship can exist? If that is the question.

No, I am pretty sure (I know) that a very happy relationship exists without monogamy but only when it involves both parties consenting from my limited exposure to this subject. It also involves an incredibly open mind, unbreakable relationship and an ability to love that person so much that you can see past jealousy towards a person merely fulfilling sexual desire.

the purple tin

Loveinapril wrote: »

I really fancy my husband, and he fancies me. He is very sexy! I think the day that stops will be a sad day where we decide to go our separate ways. Our parents are similar in that they are still very 'into' each other. After 44 years of marriage, my da still goes on about how gorgeous he thinks my ma is.

Are your parents still knocking boots?

Hagar7

the purple tin wrote: »

Are your parents still knocking boots?

A bit personal surely?

bodhrandude

If you don't have another half, who do you fancy then?