Do you ever think about those you've loved before?

mirwillbeback

slovakchick wrote: »

Perhaps you should have chosen your love mates better in the past then

Sounds like your ex has nothing to regret

MRnotlob606

Well, currently I am just out of my first relationship. I honestly find it so weird. One minute you think someone loves you to pieces and the next minute you ask them if they love you, and they cannot answer.

It feels very numbing to be honest. To love someone who doesn't have the same feelings about you is the most isolating experience I've ever felt. In history, there has been eulogies, enconiums, even obituaries about loved ones, but the thing I learned is you need to be stoical. You can't control other people's opinions of you, but you can control how to react to external events.

slovakchick

We all have regrets, its part of the human condition

mirwillbeback wrote: »

Sounds like your ex has nothing to regret

suicide_circus

slovakchick wrote: »

Do you never fantasise when love making?

Sure but I don't fantasize the my partner is my ex, that would be tragic.

jobbridge4life

I've never had an ex so I can't comment on it from a personal perspective but I'd think it would surely be very natural to think about people you loved? If someone really meant as much to you that you loved them then it seems only normal to me that they would be in your thoughts on some level forever. I don't mean that you'd always think of them, or even regularly but surely they'd still hold some presence in your head?

I've quite a number of 'ex-friends', I do on occasion think of them.

slovakchick

Maybe you need to open your eyes many happy alternatives to your line of thinking

suicide_circus wrote: »

Sure but I don't fantasize the my partner is my ex, that would be tragic.

Pac1Man

slovakchick wrote: »

Maybe you need to open your eyes many happy alternatives to your line of thinking

Surely opening your eyes ruins the illusion of it being someone else?

Glenster

I'm still friends with one or two of them on Snapchat.

And I do find myself analysing their stories quite a bit....

slovakchick

I dont know perhaps the other 'serial psychogical cheaters' have another view

Pac1Man wrote: »

Surely opening your eyes ruins the illusion of it being someone else?

hullaballoo

I don't have a huge number of exes as most of them were fairly long term but yes, I'd think about them occasionally. Not with regret or pangs of longing, though, mostly just generally wondering are they doing ok for themselves.

The regret and pangs of longing thoughts all relate to women who should now be exes but I was too stupid to pick up on the blatantly obvious signs. Dat hindsight tho.

rannerap

I'm still friends with all my exes on facebook. Its nice to see them getting on in life and see how they are doing. I dont hold any ill will, or wish that I was still with any of them.

dinorebel

Yes but the restraining orders limit how much I can contact them.

whoopsadoodles

OH MY GOD WHY DO YOU PUT THE QUOTE UNDER THE TEXT??

slovakchick wrote: »

I dont know perhaps the other 'serial psychogical cheaters' have another view

Widdershins

I've never imagined my partner is someone else in bed. Ughhhh. Depressing thought! Why?!

slovakchick

So what do you imagine? How beautiful ireland will be some day??

Widdershins wrote: »

I've never imagined my partner is someone else in bed. Ughhhh. Depressing thought! Why?!

Widdershins

slovakchick wrote: »

So what do you imagine? How beautiful ireland will be some day??

I'm there, in the moment, he's far from hideous!

Glenster

Widdershins wrote: »

I've never imagined my partner is someone else in bed. Ughhhh. Depressing thought! Why?!

To spice things up a little bit.

Sometimes I imagine she's my 3rd year physics teacher, Ms Flynn.

Or that she's a terrorist and I'm trying to get the location of the bomb out of her.

Widdershins

Glenster wrote: »

To spice things up a little bit.

Sometimes I imagine she's my 3rd year physics teacher, Ms Flynn.

Or that she's a terrorist and I'm trying to get the location of the bomb out of her.

I approve Second one's more in my line

Gunslinger92

slovakchick wrote: »

So what do you imagine? How beautiful ireland will be some day??

Don't imagine anything, there's no need for the mind to go walkabout to imaginary scenarios if who you're sleeping with is doing a good enough job

gargargar

I went out with someone for a few years. We lived together for a while. We ended up breaking apart due to her wanting to go travelling and me wanting to concentrate on my career. This was 15 years ago. She wasn't my first or last serious relationship but she would be the one I would think about.

I hadn't seen her in over 10 years and bumped into her at a bus stop. It's funny because when we were together she was a bit 'alternative' quite arty, short hair etc. I couldn't believe the change. She had gone all suits and corporate. Loads of makeup (where she didn't really wear it before). To be honest she didn't even sound like I remembered. She gone all D4. Kinda wrecked my lovely memory.

slovakchick

How mindful and focussed you sll are i would say u are so adventurous and german the sack

Gunslinger92 wrote: »

Don't imagine anything, there's no need for the mind to go walkabout to imaginary scenarios if who you're sleeping with is doing a good enough job

Wibbs

slovakchick wrote: »

u are so adventurous and german the sack

Dunno about that. Was with a German lass for a time and dull she was not. Pretty much every time she left me a grinning dried out husk of a man. Well more than usual anyway.

Thinking about an ex in bed? Nope, never have. Wouldn't really occur to me TBH and wouldn't think it "adventurous". Adventurous for me involves suits of armour and feathered bum ticklers. I've said too much....

Wabbit Ears

Friends with most on facebook.

Most of those I think about who I loved are ones where it never happened for one reason or another and all those what-if's..

Widdershins

slovakchick wrote: »

How mindful and focussed you sll are i would say u are so adventurous and german the sack

I think that is the point. Maybe if you're bored, you have to imagine someone else. There are plenty of ways of avoiding a repetitive sex life, other than pretending to switch partners, in your head. Different strokes for different folks! :rolleyes:

Merkin

There was one particular guy during University in the U.K. who I had really amazing chemistry with, complete sizzle from the onset. We'd hang out, smoke pot, listen to Bob Dylan and enjoyed lots of snogging and flirting. I was a wild child at the time and didn't want to get tied down. Slept with him one night and then I didn't hear from him for a few days so when he came to see me I was so so rude to him. How very DARE he wait that long to contact me!! Mixed messages much from me???!!

Anyway, I got together with someone else soon after and didn't see him.

I never ever forgot him though. Had marriage proposals from boyfriends after and kissed a lot of frogs and then one time, a whole thirteen years after seeing him last I looked him up on Facebook, sent him a PM and he replied right away. He said he'd never forgotten me and I was always the one that got away. He was so thrilled.

He proposed six months later and we were married within a year. And we've two gorgeous little boys

So I guess if there is someone extra special where you feel it shouldn't have ended, or in my case never properly got going in the first place, then you should definitely pursue it!

slovakchick

Its not about that lol, climax cums in all shapes and sizes, imagining is part of the human mind once the lights are off just go with it, ive also had ons experiences where i imagined i was with someone else too

Widdershins wrote: »

I think that is the point. Maybe if you're bored, you have to imagine someone else. There are plenty of ways of avoiding a repetitive sex life, other than pretending to switch partners, in your head. Different strokes for different folks! :rolleyes:

slovakchick

For a quantum of time, says it all really

Wibbs wrote: »

Dunno about that. Was with a German lass for a time and dull she was not. Pretty much every time she left me a grinning dried out husk of a man. Well more than usual anyway.

Thinking about an ex in bed? Nope, never have. Wouldn't really occur to me TBH and wouldn't think it "adventurous". Adventurous for me involves suits of armour and feathered bum ticklers. I've said too much....

Widdershins

slovakchick wrote: »

Its not about that lol, climax cums in all shapes and sizes, imagining is part of the human mind once the lights are off just go with it, ive also had ons experiences where i imagined i was with someone else too

Yep, I partly agree but other people is one thing I've never felt like imagining. Despite having been in a relationship with more than one person at the same time. I'm with the sort of person I'd probably be imagining if I was with someone else instead, though.

realdanbreen

Stonedpilot wrote: »

. She was from Brazil and miss her, and not just the oral sex but guess you dont know what you got til its gone

You don't know what you're missing! Since her teeth fell out she's way better at it.:D

slovakchick

But its not really the person you are imaging that gets you off its the scenario you are imagining

Widdershins wrote: »

Yep, I partly agree but other people is one thing I've never felt like imagining. Despite having been in a relationship with more than one person at the same time. I'm with the sort of person I'd probably be imagining if I was with someone else instead, though.

Widdershins

slovakchick wrote: »

But its not really the person you are imaging that gets you off its the scenario you are imagining

Do you mean in a forbidden fruit sort of way?

See, all of mine are just better with my boyfriend in them. That's just me.

Parchment

Merkin wrote: »

There was one particular guy during University in the U.K. who I had really amazing chemistry with, complete sizzle from the onset. We'd hang out, smoke pot, listen to Bob Dylan and enjoyed lots of snogging and flirting. I was a wild child at the time and didn't want to get tied down. Slept with him one night and then I didn't hear from him for a few days so when he came to see me I was so so rude to him. How very DARE he wait that long to contact me!! Mixed messages much from me???!!

Anyway, I got together with someone else soon after and didn't see him.

I never ever forgot him though. Had marriage proposals from boyfriends after and kissed a lot of frogs and then one time, a whole thirteen years after seeing him last I looked him up on Facebook, sent him a PM and he replied right away. He said he'd never forgotten me and I was always the one that got away. He was so thrilled.

He proposed six months later and we were married within a year. And we've two gorgeous little boys

So I guess if there is someone extra special where you feel it shouldn't have ended, or in my case never properly got going in the first place, then you should definitely pursue it!

Wow - this just made my day! what a story!

slovakchick

Even when u dated too people at the same time?

Widdershins wrote: »

Do you mean in a forbidden fruit sort of way?

See, all of mine are just better with my boyfriend in them. That's just me.

dinorebel

There once was a Slovak chick;)

Widdershins

slovakchick wrote: »

Even when u dated too people at the same time?

Thought of both.

Winterlong

dinorebel wrote: »

There once was a Slovak chick;)

...who called out someone else's name during sweet love making?

Dyr

mud wrote: »

Are exes ever on your mind and why?

Only when I hear about development plans for certain remote areas

Cerisepink

Oh all the time. I have a hard time letting people go so anyone I've ever had feelings for in the past I still think of them now and then. One or two I've messaged to see how they are doing. Good or bad, I can't imagine just forgetting about people who were once so important in my life.

slovakchick

how considerate lady power

Widdershins wrote: »

Thought of both.

Mr.Saturn

Pretty sure it's the sole reason for Facebook's existence.

cbyrd

Merkin wrote:

So I guess if there is someone extra special where you feel it shouldn't have ended, or in my case never properly got going in the first place, then you should definitely pursue it!

Agree completely.
I let someone go 20 years ago, on the rebound I got pregnant and tried to build a life. I never ever forgot him.
My marriage broke down and I looked him up on Facebook. He was separated too. It took about 3 weeks to get back together and we're expecting our second baby in a few weeks. My expectations were not wrong. He's the love of my life.

Surreptitious

I wouldn't even go to any of their funerals.

slovakchick

Both of them are his children, thats fate

cbyrd wrote: »

Agree completely.
I let someone go 20 years ago, on the rebound I got pregnant and tried to build a life. I never ever forgot him.
My marriage broke down and I looked him up on Facebook. He was separated too. It took about 3 weeks to get back together and we're expecting our second baby in a few weeks. My expectations were not wrong. He's the love of my life.

tomwaterford

Bambi wrote: »

Only when I hear about development plans for certain remote areas

This reads like youve murdered them and are fearful theyll get dug up? :eek:

lawred2

Outlaw Pete wrote: »

Yeah, the summer after secondary met this girl.

She had a Mustang and we used to drive around in it and listen to Radiohead.

On her 18th birthday we got matching tattoos.

We used to steal her parents alcohol and climb up on her roof and talk about the future.

Never thought that one day I'd have lost her.

Someone told me she had the tattoo removed.

In a parallel universe, she'd still be mine.

... that was the summer of 69 ...

lawred2

suicide_circus wrote: »

that's sad for you

And him

slovakchick

What he doesnt know wont kill him

lawred2 wrote: »

And him

Dyr

tomwaterford wrote: »

This reads like youve murdered them and are fearful theyll get dug up? :eek:

Murder is such an ugly word
I just think people should leave the past buried in unmarked graves

I often think about friends I've lost. When it comes to dating and relationships there is one man who pops in to my head now and then. It's strange because we only met three times. We were chatting and skyping for a bit first. Then real life rolled around and I was beyond smitten. After one date. I next spent a few nights with him. The third time I saw him it was to say blaa blaa not going to work blaa blaa.

It was only a small thing but damn I fell hard. He was all the things. Of course now I know that doesn't exist, nobody can be all of the things.

slovakchick

[Deleted User] wrote: »

I often think about friends I've lost. When it comes to dating and relationships there is one man who pops in to my head now and then. It's strange because we only met three times. We were chatting and skyping for a bit first. Then real life rolled around and I was beyond smitten. After one date. I next spent a few nights with him. The third time I saw him it was to say blaa blaa not going to work blaa blaa.
It was only a small thing but damn I fell hard. He was all the things. Of course now I know that doesn't exist, nobody can be all of the things.

So why do you think about him rather than guys you dated for long periods?