Socialising at Work

Wanderer2010

davo10 wrote: »

You've completely missed the point. The good or bad fit is obvious at work, I don't need a night out to tell me that. The social nights are a perk for the staff and a way of improving working relationships by allowing people who would not normally socialise together to talk outside of the workplace.

The benefits of this to our workplace are not anecdotal, they are real, less tension between colleagues, better communication, better understanding of those around them.

If it's a chore for you to spend a couple of hours a year socialising with colleagues, then it would be difficult for you to fit into some work environments where close reliance on colleagues is essential. That's what would be spotted early and you would be job hunting again.

Its not necessearily a given that attendence at events like this leads to better working relationships though cant you just stop trying to force everyone to get along? I went to an event like this 2 years back in my current job and although it was a nice gesture people went straight back to their groups the following week.

Some bar food and a hired band wont make people get along, maybe your definiton of a good or bad fit needs to change, jobs can get done very well without those workmates being friends.

PREG1967

davo10 wrote: »

Op, as an employer of both sexes and ages that range from early 50's to early 20's, it would be ideal if all employees were all friends but that just doesn't happen. They are all at different stages of life and though some have interests in common, the only things they all have in common is that they work in the same place and must all work together.

It certainly makes for a nicer working environment if employees occasionally socialise and share some downtime. Quarterly I organise social outings, dinner after work on a Friday night with a free bar, day at the races all expenses paid etc. Unless there is a good reason for non attendance, I expect everyone to attend. I have found it is a great way for staff to blow off steam and by getting to know their colleagues a little better outside work, there is better understanding between them and more willingness to accept that everyone has off days. After starting these social events around 5 years ago I found that staff issues and conflicts have decreased significantly.

You don't have to share your personal life with your colleagues but it does help to get to know them a little. They will be more inclined to help you if you need help in future.

What I distrust is the kind of "casual Fridays", office social, network with the higher-ups kind of forced jollity that no one really enjoys but feel they have to attend for the sake of appeasing their managers.

OldMrBrennan83

This post has been deleted.

davo10

Wanderer2010 wrote: »

Its not necessearily a given that attendence at events like this leads to better working relationships though cant you just stop trying to force everyone to get along? I went to an event like this 2 years back in my current job and although it was a nice gesture people went straight back to their groups the following week.

Some bar food and a hired band wont make people get along, maybe your definiton of a good or bad fit needs to change, jobs can get done very well without those workmates being friends.

Here's the thing, I don't force them to get along, I just hope they will and this helps. It's not for everyone but as stated repeatedly, it works for me and my staff. I'm picky about who I employ and this has resulted in a workforce some of whom have been with me almost 20 years. Someone with an attitude like yours would not suit my company but might be perfect for others. It is not just about doing a job, a happy working environment makes it more pleasant for everyone.

I say again, the evidence of this working is not anecdotal.

PREG1967

davo10 wrote: »

Here's the thing, I don't force them to get along, I just hope they will and this helps. It's not for everyone but as stated repeatedly, it works for me and my staff. I'm picky about who I employ and this has resulted in a workforce some of whom have been with me almost 20 years. Someone with an attitude like yours would not suit my company but might be perfect for others. It is not just about doing a job, a happy working environment makes it more pleasant for everyone.

I say again, the evidence of this working is not anecdotal.

what if they get along less as a result of your meddling?
One of the great joys of adulthood is the ability to choose who you hang out with, and how you spend your time. By simply treating inter-office friendships as a completely normal aspect of work life and allowing for them without forcing them, management will serve their employees a lot better than creating specifically allocated times in which people are allowed to kick back and be themselves. But not too much themselves. Let’s be reasonable!

davo10

Stick with the star team model, it's sounds like fun. Do you all get stars at the end of it?

PREG1967

stick your forced fun, at the end we all go home on Friday to be free from our boss and do as we please with our little bit of weekend freedom

Ursus Horribilis

I'm all for colleagues getting along well in work. I'm lucky to be working in an office where we like each other as people and get along well. But to be required to come along in our own time to an evening do smacks of forced fun. Are you sure your staff aren't telling you what you want to hear?

I know you're saying you don't force anyone to go but there's probably an unspoken expectation there. That if you don't go, you'll stand out from the others and it could affect your career.

davo10

Patww79 wrote: »

Something you're expected to do outside your contracted hours isn't a perk.

Horses for courses, some groups may really appreciate it, others may dislike it, works for some, not for others. Works for me, maybe not for you. If you see it as "work", then so be it, that's between you and your employer.

PREG1967

Ursus Horribilis wrote: »

I'm all for colleagues getting along well in work. I'm lucky to be working in an office where we like each other as people and get along well. But to be required to come along in our own time to an evening do smacks of forced fun. Are you sure your staff aren't telling you what you want to hear?

I know you're saying you don't force anyone to go but there's probably an unspoken expectation there. That if you don't go, you'll stand out from the others and it could affect your career.

they are 'expected to attend'

Wanderer78

davo10 wrote:

It certainly makes for a nicer working environment if employees occasionally socialise and share some downtime. Quarterly I organise social outings, dinner after work on a Friday night with a free bar, day at the races all expenses paid etc. Unless there is a good reason for non attendance, I expect everyone to attend. I have found it is a great way for staff to blow off steam and by getting to know their colleagues a little better outside work, there is better understanding between them and more willingness to accept that everyone has off days. After starting these social events around 5 years ago I found that staff issues and conflicts have decreased significantly.

Would ya go way outta that, expect everybody to attend! Work a lot of the time is a means to an end, people do it to survive, but would rather be doing something else with their loved ones. The social event you described would bore the hell outta me. Life's too short

davo10

Ursus Horribilis wrote: »

I'm all for colleagues getting along well in work. I'm lucky to be working in an office where we like each other as people and get along well. But to be required to come along in our own time to an evening do smacks of forced fun. Are you sure your staff aren't telling you what you want to hear?

I know you're saying you don't force anyone to go but there's probably an unspoken expectation there. That if you don't go, you'll stand out from the others and it could affect your career.

They could very well be, but I do know that tensions in the work place have gone down a lot as the group have gotten to know each other a little better. I had noticed that in particular the older staff didn't communicate at all with the younger staff except on a work level and this at times led to tension and misunderstandings. Also tensions built up between staff because of the way they rely on each other and work so closely together. Communicating outside of work, just for a couple of hours a year has led to a lowering of tensions and better working relationships. Effectively they get to know each other as people rather than just colleagues.

This may not work for some, but it does work for us.

davo10

Wanderer78 wrote: »

Would ya go way outta that, expect everybody to attend! Work a lot of the time is a means to an end, people do it to survive, but would rather be doing something else with their loved ones. The social event you described would bore the hell outta me. Life's too short

This isn't solely about work, it's about how you get on with your colleagues at work and making it a better place you work, where you might actually enjoy it rather than just viewing it as a means to an end. As I said, I'd spot you long before the next social event.

PREG1967

davo10 wrote: »

They could very well be, but I do know that tensions in the work place have gone down a lot as the group have gotten to know each other a little better. I had noticed that in particular the older staff didn't communicate at all with the younger staff except on a work level and this at times led to tension and misunderstandings. Also tensions built up between staff because of the way they rely on each other and work so closely together. Communicating outside of work, just for a couple of hours a year has led to a lowering of tensions and better working relationships. Effectively they get to know each other as people rather than just colleagues.

This may not work for some, but it does work for us.

4 nights a year sounds like more than a couple of hours of forced fun to me, do the staff get paid overtime for having to attend?

Wanderer78

davo10 wrote:

This isn't solely about work, it's about how you get on with your colleagues at work and making it a better place you work, where you might actually enjoy it rather than just viewing it as a means to an end. As I said, I'd spot you long before the next social event.

When you get older, you truly do realise the most important things in life, and spending more time with work colleagues generally isn't one of them, even though I have and do, but by doing things we all like doing. The event you described would bore the hell outta me and others, and we probably wouldn't partake, I certainly wouldn't. You truly would need to pull something amazing outta of the bag to get me interested, I have little or no interest in the normal things that are considered 'socialising', and I'm not alone. I'd consider the normal methods of socialising as extremely boring, including your given example. What do you mean by 'spot you', it sounds a bit weird?

GalwayGrrrrrl

I think the difference in replies comes from two camps. Those who want a "job" and those who want a "career". Career people should use the opportunity to network at the social events to progress their career and probably do enjoy these events. Job people want to do their hours, go home and not think about work once they clock off.
It would be interesting to see if "job" people are back on here in three years moaning about low wages, lack of promotion, boring work etc.

lisasimpson

Getting back to the original post...id be a bit the same...ive my own few that i go on teabreaks with but not everyday. One reason my original crew have moved on or else i dont want to get involved in any cattiness if it was goig on..I dont like going to work events. Im not a big drinker so at times get hassle over the fact i dont be availing of the free bar. In our company less and less are going to staff nights out. Somethings they are just too much effort. Didnt go to the last 2 christmas parties and i dont feel like i missed out on anything. In fact most didnt go to the last
it doesnt bother me coz they are going to talk about you regardlss whether you mix or not

tomwaterford

PREG1967 wrote: »

4 nights a year sounds like more than a couple of hours of forced fun to me, do the staff get paid overtime for having to attend?

TBF noone is going to get paid to eat free food and have free drink....a bit of reality deosnt go amiss



But I do think 4 times a year is excessive,I wouldn't hardly go out that often socially anyway,no mind with work people

davo10

Wanderer78 wrote: »

When you get older, you truly do realise the most important things in life, and spending more time with work colleagues generally isn't one of them, even though I have and do, but by doing things we all like doing. The event you described would bore the hell outta me and others, and we probably wouldn't partake, I certainly wouldn't. You truly would need to pull something amazing outta of the bag to get me interested, I have little or no interest in the normal things that are considered 'socialising', and I'm not alone. I'd consider the normal methods of socialising as extremely boring, including your given example. What do you mean by 'spot you', it sounds a bit weird?

I agree it is not for everyone. Different jobs, different employers, different working environments. You would not like working here, the staff/myself would probably pick up pretty quickly that you aren't interested in buying into this ethic so I don't spend to long trying to explain its merits. My job is not to entertain you nor pull "something out of the bag", but the gesture of providing free nights where staff can let their hair down would seem to be well received and certainly has achieved its goal.

Experience has taught me that employees who are happy at work, work better together and stay longer with the company. A job as a means to an end is fine for a lot of people but I don't think it is ground breaking to say that if people like their job and the people they work with, it makes life a hell of a lot easier for everyone.

lisasimpson

Its not all about free nights and nigts out are too relax not to be vetted. Yes everyone needs to be social at work but 4 nights a year might be a bit much.
Do you do anything during work ie. Pizza and office games during a lunch break, take team out for lunch etc would be a lot handier for people esp for those with families or those communiting

OldMrBrennan83

This post has been deleted.

davo10

Patww79 wrote: »

That would eat into the time he's paying them for rather than eating into their personal time.

I guess you missed the fact that the day at the races is during working time but no matter, it was easy to miss.

"Eating into personal time"? , what does your employer do for you? Do they make any gesture to show you they appreciate your effort? Do they make any effort to foster better working environment? Do they try there best to ensure that friction/tension is kept to a minimum by trying to get staff to connect on a personal level as well as a professional level? Can your employer point to a particular change in work practice and say, crikey since we introduced that, staff issues have decreased significantly?

Lisa, if I thought pizzas at lunchtimes or office games would work as well, I'd do it, but they are not kids and I'm not mean. They appreciate the effort and expense of what I do, they mix well and the older and younger people communicate better by meeting in a more relaxed environment occasionally, there is less of a "them and us".

OldMrBrennan83

This post has been deleted.

davo10

Patww79 wrote: »

They pay me for my services. That's all I require.

There's no friction between the employees because we're all adults and don't need to be forced to play together.

I don't pay for services, most seals can be trained to clap. I pay for people who are good at their job and who work well with others, that is why they have been with me so long.

pilly

I'm kind of half way in between here. I think it's important if you're part of a team to get on with that team but at the same time 30-45 minutes for a coffee break would drive me mad.

I work in a small village at the moment and 10.40 comes and it's off to the canteen no matter what's happening. I find it really weird, more used to having a cuppa at my desk. And anyway when I do go over all the talk is of death and local gossip, no discussion of current affairs. Drives me mad. I brought up the terrorist attack in London one day and one of the girls was like "no, didn't hear anything". I mean FFS, do you ever listen to the news?

BlinkingLights

I worked with a boss who used to keep throwing these events which often involved sandwiches, cakes and pizza and sometimes evening events involving more wheaty food and wine.

1. I'm coeliac and can't any of those things and
2. I'm highly allergic to a large % of but not all red wines - full blown allergy where my lips swell, face goes red, eyes swell etc etc

Anyway, I got ticked off by the boss for not eating anything at a lunchtime event. So I stopped going after I found I was basically being presented with bad quality junk food that I couldn't eat and then was missing my own lunch and going hungry for the rest of the day.

So I stopped going to these.

Then I got dragged to an after work thing where I couldn't eat anything on the set menu. Everything was either in a flour based sauce or pastry. There was red wine or beer (can't touch either)
So I just sat there drinking a cup of coffee.

I was hauled in and told that I was just being awkward at the event.

So I stopped going to those too.

Then I got hauled in to be told I wasn't a team player -and I was a "stuck up hipster trying to be centre of attention with my trendy for intolerance c*ap". He also had some kind of huge issue with vegetarians and so on and went on a range about this at me (I'm not a vegetarian). I also hate having good allergies and being a coeliac and do not like discussing it. I usually just order food carefully and avoid dishes I know aren't safe.

I got on with all my colleagues, my work rate was above average.

Anyway I just started looking for new jobs and quit that afternoon. Life isn't worth dealing with that kind of moronic nonsense. It's bad enough having to deal with a really restrictive diet but it's just ridiculous when you've got to keep explaining eating habits to a boss who is overbearing and constantly watching things like this to the point they're actually becoming unbearable.

If I just mucked in and eat these things I end up getting painful bloating, I get extremely tired, I stop absorbing food and lose weigh and put myself at risk of bowel cancer. It's not a jokey, makey uppy type of a thing.

I think companies should realise not all this employees necessarily want to spend all their spare time at work either. There are perfectly normal people who don't want to necessarily spend regular amounts of time at after work events.

I know one person who is absolutely furious because her company had volunteered her to do weekend charity things several times already this year as CSR and then building. She has two small children and the impact of this is that it's cutting her time out of family activities to do rather full on charity work on what should be her weekend.

Companies really need to be were that they're not stepping into the situation of encroaching into people's personal lives too far.

slovakchick

davo10 wrote: »

I don't pay for services, most seals can be trained to clap. I pay for people who are good at their job and who work well with others, that is why they have been with me so long.

They havent all been with you for so long
What about the lucky ones

neonsofa

davo10 wrote: »

I don't pay for services, most seals can be trained to clap. I pay for people who are good at their job and who work well with others, that is why they have been with me so long.

Many people are good at their job, love their job, get on with their colleagues, and still don't feel the need to regularly socialise outside of work with said colleagues.

Ursus Horribilis

Anywhere I've ever worked, we got to know each other without a need for nights out. Coffee breaks and lunch breaks do the trick very nicely, as do other impromptu chats during the day.

doolox

You should have got a doctors note explaining the serious condition that coeliac is and stop him forcing you to eat medically prohibited food.

Also an injunction barring him from discussing personal issues such as food and dietary regimes.