December 2017 babies club

bee06

justwhatithink wrote: »

That is typical but a good thing she slept so long I guess.

Our fella is just gone backwards again; grunting & groaning all night again, and getting tetchy from evening time onwards. He got a bottle at 5pm today and fell asleep on me at around 6.30pm, I put him down at 7pm and left the room and he woke up within minutes crying. He seemed like he was hungry again (putting hands in mouth) so I gave him more bottle and he took 2oz. He won't go down to sleep by himself and is just looking to sleep on us/be rocked/walked around I think, where as last week he'd fall asleep with us and then happily stay soundly asleep in his Sleepyhead pod or sometimes on a big cushion on the couch. I don't really know what else to do at this stage, it feels like I'm trying so much (everything I can't think of for wind) but not doing anything right, and I'm not even sure if wind is even the problem anymore. Maybe I'm being irrational about it all and he's just a normal baby.

Have a read of this. I think it’s a good explanation of why our babies are happiest in our arms at the moment.

https://sarahockwell-smith.com/2012/11/04/the-fourth-trimester-aka-why-your-newborn-baby-is-only-happy-in-your-arms/amp/

spottybananas

He's still super tiny and new, Google the fourth trimester. It's completely normal for them to want to sleep on/with you, you're all they know, just enjoy the cuddles It's recommended they sleep and nap in the same room as you for the first months also.

Edit: bee06 I didn't see that your link was about the fourth trimester

Mimi21

Popping in from October thread Justwhatithink - would baby have silent reflux? I have three and they have all had silent reflux but my eldest was the worst. Just when you mention that your baby is not settling at night and grunting and groaning, those were the first signs. Mention it to your gp or public health nurse. What i found helpful was taking a video of his at his worst so that you can show it to the health professional as my son was like an angel in front of everyone and then spent the nights crying!

justwhatithink

I am starting to wonder about the reflux alright. He's not spewy, but He has started making bubbles at his lips with his saliva the past few days which I thought odd. We had a GP check up last week and mentioned that he was windy but the nurse and GP felt he was fine. But he's perfectly happy during the day, it's evening and nights he's unsettled and just really bad lastnight and tonight. I am going to video him at his worst if I can. We already have his crib on a good tilt too.

I don't mind him sleeping on me at all when we're up. But I'm afraid to have him in the bed with us... I have him sleep in the same room as us all the time, day and night, this evening I just left him in the sittingroom for 2 mins while I went to get changed and he woke crying :-(. Wish I hadn't left him now cause he'd have probably slept for a couple on hours on me and wouldn't be as tired now too, to add to the upset.

Duno how I'd manage if my husband wasn't still off.

skullsocks

Not getting much sleep here either. Think it's reflux but evening and night times are hard, plus baby only wants to sleep on me which means the whole 'sleep when they sleep' advice is little use! I know it's the whole fourth trimester but the lack of sleep is killing me, I don't know how people cope with more than one child. I never thought it would be this hard.

bee06

skullsocks wrote: »

Not getting much sleep here either. Think it's reflux but evening and night times are hard, plus baby only wants to sleep on me which means the whole 'sleep when they sleep' advice is little use! I know it's the whole fourth trimester but the lack of sleep is killing me, I don't know how people cope with more than one child. I never thought it would be this hard.

I was thinking the same about having more than one child. I’m really struggling with my episiotomy stitches. They are still very sore after 4 weeks, I can’t imagine having to run around after an older child as well as dealing with a newborn. At the moment I can’t imagine every having sex again so it won’t be an issue!

justwhatithink

skullsocks wrote: »

Not getting much sleep here either. Think it's reflux but evening and night times are hard, plus baby only wants to sleep on me which means the whole 'sleep when they sleep' advice is little use! I know it's the whole fourth trimester but the lack of sleep is killing me, I don't know how people cope with more than one child. I never thought it would be this hard.

Agreed, I knew it wouldn't be a walk in the park but it feels like a constant loosing battle.

spottybananas

If it's any consolation I had a second baby in November by csection, I had an exactly 2.5 year old at the time. My husband couldn't take paternity leave and worked every day from when baby was 7 days old until Christmas Eve. I got a respiratory infection when he was two weeks old, then a 24 hour bug, then a vomiting bug. I survived, it was rough, but it can be done! I do lots of sitting around just feeding the baby, cartoons do feature for the toddler but I read him books and he does colouring, playing with toys, games where I throw light things like socks and he basically plays fetch

I stocked the freezer with 3 weeks of dinners and snacks while I was pregnant and that has been the single biggest help after my husband. The toddler does 2 afternoons in creche and my mother in law took him some afternoons when I was really struggling with the respiratory infection. Us women are very bloody tough, it's amazing what we can do.

shesty

Bee06, mention that to your doctor.I don't think the stitches should still be that sore after four weeks.A bit uncomfortable maybe but not sore.Take panadol regularly for the pain in the meantime.

I said before I have read it takes 12 weeks to make a mother and it"s true.It is SO tough first time round, but do hang in there.Honest to god it gets easier but it is still very very hard.As for doing a newborn with another child, look, you do what you have to when you need to.Your first child teaches you that.

Justwhatithink, my first had silent reflux and my second was SO windy at nighttime, grunted and groaned all night evey night.I can't count how many nights I was utterly convinced she had reflux too at 3am in the morning.So many nights I spent walking the floors with her for 2-3 hours in the dead of night.Those feeds at 2am are the loneliest thing.Does your little guy cry in the evenings round the same time, or only sleep for maybe ten mins during the day before kind of gulping awake?Does he do a lot of gulping and swallowing? Oh and neither of mine went to sleep by themselves.They don't know how at that age.I learned the hard way on my first, after 16 weeks of rocking and whatever I decided my back couldnt do it anymore and started just putting her in her cot to sleep.She figured it out!No.2 I left til 12 weeks and them started putting her in her basket and waiting beside her til she dropped off.That's totally normal I'm afraid, they have to learn to fall asleep themselves, but it won't happen right now.

bee06

Thanks Shesty. I’m going to go to the GP early next week alright. I did have an infection already as well, was on antibiotics last week so that had delayed the healing. I think some of the pain is more in my head because it’s always worse on the days when I’m tired and feeling sorry for myself.

justwhatithink

shesty wrote: »

Justwhatithink, my first had silent reflux and my second was SO windy at nighttime, grunted and groaned all night evey night.I can't count how many nights I was utterly convinced she had reflux too at 3am in the morning.So many nights I spent walking the floors with her for 2-3 hours in the dead of night.Those feeds at 2am are the loneliest thing.Does your little guy cry in the evenings round the same time, or only sleep for maybe ten mins during the day before kind of gulping awake?Does he do a lot of gulping and swallowing? Oh and neither of mine went to sleep by themselves.They don't know how at that age.I learned the hard way on my first, after 16 weeks of rocking and whatever I decided my back couldnt do it anymore and started just putting her in her cot to sleep.She figured it out!No.2 I left til 12 weeks and them started putting her in her basket and waiting beside her til she dropped off.That's totally normal I'm afraid, they have to learn to fall asleep themselves, but it won't happen right now.

So once we came home from hospital he started grunting and groaning when we went to bed, he'd do it nearly all night long, you might get a quite 20 minutes here and there. He moved an awful lot too, turning himself crossways in the crib. Mid Last week I bought a Sleepyhead pod and he slept soundly in it for about 4 nights and on the couch during the day, only groaning when he was awake trying to pass wind. We started giving him Infacol last weekend, it seemed to help. Then this week the grunting & groaning started again, all night and during the day a lot too now. He'll sleep soundly on us but when you put him down he can wake or he's fliting his eyes open and closed in his sleep and can go to sleep but wake again suddenly. Then Wed & Thurs evening he got really unsettled, screaming crying for hours from 7pm and 9pm until he wore himself out round 12/1am. Today he was awake from 1pm till we got him to sleep round 6pm, he slept for 2.5hrs but groaning a bit throughout. He's taking an awful lot of bottle this evening too. Now he's grunting like mad and a bit whingey trying to pass wind/poop. But not screaming like the last two nights. I duno if he has reflux, I think I try to convince myself he has something just to put a label on it and explain things. He's a frantic, greedy feeder since day one, gulps like mad ... I do try to calm him before he starts feeding to help him take less air in...doesn't always work! I don't mind him wanting to sleep on us at all to get him down but I can't sleep with him in the bed with us, I'm too afraid to do that.

It's mentally exhausting but I guess I'm not the only one!

Anne_cordelia

He’s probably getting overtired. In the early days, babies can only stay awake comfortably for 1-1.5 hour periods. So aim to start getting him asleep after an hour of awake time. He definitely shouldn’t be 5 hours awake

justwhatithink

Anne_cordelia wrote: »

He’s probably getting overtired. In the early days, babies can only stay awake comfortably for 1-1.5 hour periods. So aim to start getting him asleep after an hour of awake time. He definitely shouldn’t be 5 hours awake

I'm quite aware he shouldn't but he didn't come with an on/off switch unfortunately. I'm trying my best to get him sleeping but the wind and this grunting & groaning can wake him again within minutes on going down.

Anne_cordelia

justwhatithink wrote: »

I'm quite aware he shouldn't but he didn't come with an on/off switch unfortunately. I'm trying my best to get him sleeping but the wind and this grunting & groaning can wake him again within minutes on going down.

No need to be so tetchy. I was trying to help. On my first I didn’t realise that a baby’s awake window was so small and that overtiredness actually keeps them awake. But hey you know it all so I’ll leave it to you.

justwhatithink

Anne_cordelia wrote: »

No need to be so tetchy. I was trying to help. On my first I didn’t realise that a baby’s awake window was so small and that overtiredness actually keeps them awake. But hey you know it all so I’ll leave it to you.

I apologise, I did take your comment to heart, I feel like I'm failing on on every front here and it's really getting to me. I don't by any means know it all, I don't know anything.

bee06

justwhatithink wrote: »

I apologise, I did take your comment to heart, I feel like I'm failing on on every front here and it's really getting to me. I don't by any means know it all, I don't know anything.

Please don’t think you’re failing. You are doing the best you can, you’re just stuck in a really tough phase at the moment.

cant26

Anne_cordelia wrote: »

No need to be so tetchy. I was trying to help. On my first I didn’t realise that a baby’s awake window was so small and that overtiredness actually keeps them awake. But hey you know it all so I’ll leave it to you.

Telling a new Mum who is exhausted not to be tetchy is far from helpful!

skullsocks

justwhatithink wrote: »

I apologise, I did take your comment to heart, I feel like I'm failing on on every front here and it's really getting to me. I don't by any means know it all, I don't know anything.

You are not alone in feeling like that, I feel the same. I try and remember that I am doing everything I can for the baby and that babies cry, that's what they do, we can't read their minds so we just have to try all the usual and when they don't work, do our best to soothe them as they cry. My little one has days of what seems like no sleep and days of what seems like only sleep (but not in the cot!) there is no routine. I go from one second of thinking 'I am getting the hang of this' to 'I can't take this anymore'. It's the hardest thing I have ever had to do. Please don't beat yourself up, we are all struggling, just some people hide it better.

shesty

Yeah i know justwhatithink, this is what I mean , every night at 2am I was convinced she had reflux a dairy allergy ANYTHING just to explain it!And then daylight would come amd hey!I'd tell myself she was fine again.

I don't know if he has reflux to be honest.My reflux baby was not a grunter.How old is he again?They are reluctant to diagnose anything before 6 weeks, and even at that, it took repeated visits from me back to the GP to get anything.I used to lie no 1 down to sleep in the day and (particularly as the day wore on) the minute she was flat on her back she would be gulping herself awake within ten mins.She also cried herself hoarse at about five weeks and I just felt no, this is wrong.

As for the sleep thing, yes they should sleep every 1.5 hours but i'm afraid I never had those miracle babies that dozed off in prams or in my arms then slept in their beds for an hour or two at a time.So like I said I muddled through the first 12 weeks as best as I could and then at 12 weeks it was up to the bed every 1.5-2 hour since they last woke, and me sitting there beside them til they dropped off.(holding fingers or a soother or rubbing their tummy or whatever).There wasn't much point before twelve weeks though.Yes I remember days and days of walking our hall cradling our (very very alert) no.1 to get her to sleep and praying she would stay asleep when I put her in the bed.

I would do what you can til the six week mark and when you see your GP I would ask them about reflux, wind and dairy allergies (that can cause excessive wind-do you know if anyone in your or OHs families have any kind of food intolerances?).And if you habe some videos, all the better.Honestly if it is still going on, I'd consider going back to the GP again.Chamces are he may just be a very windy baby.They do have periods of crying, there are days when they stay awake for hours even though they shouldn't-it's all normal.But you know your baby and as time goes on, if you feel there is something else., do go back to your GP. Even just to tell them it's very hard on you.Because it is.

bee06

My fella does the grunting because of gas usually between 4 and 7 in the morning. I can hear the very loud farting as well.

justwhatithink

Thanks for all the message ladies, it all helps. I know I'm being hard on myself, it's just ingrained in me I think, find it hard not to. I felt so bad lastnight that I'd failed to get him to sleep - after an evening sleep he was awake hours again just looking round him...he is extremely alert since birth, which is great but making it a bit harder to get him down. He eventually nodded off but out of exhaustion I'd say. He slept ok during night and between feeds up till 12pm today. We've had visitors all day come to see him so of course he was awake all day again but asleep now so hoping he'll stay that way for a few hours.

It helps to know others feel the same and have done similar challenges.

Shesty that's all really practical advice, really appreciate it. He's 4 weeks old now. I'm going to start a baby massage class this week so that will be good for us both I think.

While the visitors today didnt help with trying to get him sleeping during the day, they all said how healthy looking he is and strong & alert he is so it was at least reassuring to HSR that.

shesty

Haha, I feel your pain!My first was (and still bloody is) "Alert".Just meant I had to accept that there were things that I had to do a bit differently, like teaching her to fall asleep in her cot rather than relying on car seats or buggies all the time, slings were a no-no for her, she wouldn't go roumd shopping centres sleeping peacefully in a car seat (I'm laughing just thinking of the memories of it!!!)....the list went on. She did scream every evening from about three weeks til about 7 weeks or so....6pm -10pm like someone pushed a button.No apparent reason.Then she just stopped one day.

It's horrendous, especially when it's your first.But I can tell you that anything after it is a walk in the park as a result!!!

heldel00

Only this very afternoon i was shaking hands with myself because baby was asleep, toddler was napping and i thought i was supermam.
Here i am 4 hours later with a hungry husband ( he can feck right off), a toddler crying and coughing and snuffling and a baby screaming for no apparent reason.

Take the little victories when you get them because they are hard earned and short lived!!!

justwhatithink

heldel00 wrote: »

Only this very afternoon i was shaking hands with myself because baby was asleep, toddler was napping and i thought i was supermam.
Here i am 4 hours later with a hungry husband ( he can feck right off), a toddler crying and coughing and snuffling and a baby screaming for no apparent reason.

Take the little victories when you get them because they are hard earned and short lived!!!

Good on ya, I duno how you do it with toddlers in tow too. There's no doubt this is a tough job.

justwhatithink

shesty wrote: »

Haha, I feel your pain!My first was (and still bloody is) "Alert".Just meant I had to accept that there were things that I had to do a bit differently, like teaching her to fall asleep in her cot rather than relying on car seats or buggies all the time, slings were a no-no for her, she wouldn't go roumd shopping centres sleeping peacefully in a car seat (I'm laughing just thinking of the memories of it!!!)....the list went on. She did scream every evening from about three weeks til about 7 weeks or so....6pm -10pm like someone pushed a button.No apparent reason.Then she just stopped one day.

It's horrendous, especially when it's your first.But I can tell you that anything after it is a walk in the park as a result!!!

I'll be grateful for the alertness down the road I'm sure :-)
We're having a good evening and night so far so fingers crossed bed time goes relatively smoothly.

shesty

One day at a time.That's all you need to do.

lashes34

Justwhatithink have you gotten onto your GP or PHN? I hadnt and struggled on as thought she was just a difficult newborn but had the 6 week check on Friday and the doctor could see exactly what shes like. She said its not normal and doesn't think its reflux so we started the baby on a lactose free formula after the appointment and the change in her within a few hours was unreal. She's like a different baby, slept so well both nights since and so much happier and sleeps during the day too. There were days from 11am to 11pm she only slept an hour in 10 minute blocks. It was torture and I should have asked for help earlier. Be good to yourself, you are doing your best.

Milly33

Fecks sake I deleted my post ..

here we go again... I know the wedges get hit and miss reviews, but have you thought of one justwhatithink.. I must say I wasn't a mad fan well of the clevamama type ones but after getting a gift of one, they are the job..

She hasn't been as barfy when she is sleeping in it, windy.. We would normally put her in it after the last feed so lets say 12 wait 20mins to put her down, and then when I change her in the middle of the night if I think she would prefer to be swaddled id leave her out of it..Just find it has helped...

Have noticed a big change in her now in the last four days.. I get what Anne_cordelia says also about the overtirdness, that is nearly as much as a problem as reflux or bad colic... There is no end to it all... You can tell from her cries if she is just overtired, I was driven demented on Friday trying to get things done, while she was just in the worst of moods and not sleeping...Last night just like you are saying she was stirring all night with kinda movements she wasn't waking up fully but just stirring, little dribbles here and there.. Are you keeping a notebook and track of all things, find that works too for keeping track of sleep and hurmor patterns etc

justwhatithink

Thanks ladies for the advice. We're keeping note on the Baby Tracker app where we record his bottles, nappies and sleep and then other random events like giving him Infacol, when he's very unsettled etc. He's in much better form the past few days again...I think we might have had a bit of a leap on the days he was very upset last week. He still isn't much of a sleeper from 12-6pm (likes to cat nap more so) but he's slept well in the evenings and night the past few days...though still grunting & groaning at night, mainly after his middle of the night time feed, so we're trying to be extra careful at giving a good winding and chance to get into a good sleep before putting him down. His crib is raised on one side but not sure it's helping, maybe a wedge would be better alright.
I spoke to the GP and midwife nurse at his 2 week check up (and also the PHN) about the wind and grunting & groaning and they didn't see anything wrong. But I missed a call today from the GPs midwife nurse just checking in to see how we are, she's ringing again tomorrow so I'm going to mention it again along with the fact he sounds a bit mucusy, has the constant wind and I've seen him making a heartburn-like mouth and face a few times the past few days. I think he might have a touch of reflux. Or you wouldn't know it could be a lactose intolerance. But the grunting I am much more confident is him trying to push out the wind after been more observant of what he's doing and when. Have taken some videos and audios too...so all very helpful advice, thanks again!.

I had to call into the hospital for something today and I visited the postnatal wing and the nursery where we spent our nights together going for nappy changes and feeds, its really where we had our one to one time and really bonded and I was feeling very nostalgic about it and felt it was slipping away from me over last week when I was finding things very difficult. So it was nice to see it again and I took a picture...might seem a bit silly but I feel better for it and hope it might help me look forward rather than trying to cling onto the past so much.

Milly33

Glad to hear things are settling. That night sleep sounds fine 12 - 6 is really good..herself is the same with the cat naps during the day, going to start trying to getting her day time sleeping routine down now this week just so planning things are easier.


I know I'm no expert but the mucusy thing to herself is the same, she goes through some days where she sounds very snotty and that, even the posseting/barf the last two days has been more glupey. Think tis all just changes you can imagine their small little bellies dealing with everything...

I'm nearly afraid to say it but first day without rain here today, and just cannot wait to get herself out for a stroll.. Didn't do it today but will tomorrow. Will welcome spring with open arms