Wife is worried child won't be tall

mirrorwall14

Why did she get a scan at 32 weeks? Is there anything else going on? It's most likely stress and fear causing the reaction.

I had measurements under 10 and I was freaking out. Turned out I just had a small baby. He was perfectly fine and is now just an average sized boy, no issues.

However I was freaking out internally from when they started sending me for growth scans to the end and I know it made me irrational

Redser87

Everyone in my family is over 6 foot and I am 5'3. I get the best clothes in the sales as the average sizes go first, I can drive a small and inexpensive car without feeling cramped and I can curl up on any couch with a book! Tall is not necessarily the best!

positron

Stress and fears, try not to take it personally and just support your wife, she will thank you later.

Let's hope baby gets your brains OP.

January

Pregnancy anxiety can be very real and very irrational!

I also wouldn't be blaming the medics on oversharing information, I read all that stuff myself in my files, it's nothing that's not written in plain sight on scan reports.

All you can do is reassure your wife that with both of you being quite tall that it's quite certain your child will be as tall as you.

My husband and I are short (I'm 5'2", he's 5'5"), we were never teased about our height.

Millem

Op your baby is perfectly in proportion. Head measurement in 50th percentile and legs in 40th percentile!

I take those percentiles with a pinch of salt tbh. A different doctor could get a different measurement on a different day.

Anyway even if they were 100% accurate (which they are not!!) out of 100 babies your baby still has longer legs than 39 other babies

My 3 year old son is very tall for his age but it's actually his torso that is long! I would say his legs are an average length.

Beanybabog

Tell your wife (gently) not to worry, the baby is healthy, and forget about it.

Being an anxious person anyway, my worries were off the charts sometimes when I was pregnant. I spent the first and last few weeks of my pregnancy worried my baby would be a different race. Have never cheated, never mind the fact I knew the night we got pregnant, but that's what your head can do to you when youre pregnant!! I think it was more worry my perfect little world of husband baby house would come crashing down some way or another and I didn't deserve everything to be so good. I got up the courage to tell my husband and he laughed and the fear lifted :-) Apparnently it's a quite common fear !! Also a few weeks in the middle of my pregnancy I was convinced my child had a cleft palate. That went after the 3D scan. I suppose I can only say sometimes you fixate on things that are stupid, impossible etc so I'd nearly leave her worrying about the height, it's better thanworrying about the health, and her head has probably picked one thing to focus all her worries into. When the baby is born she won't actually care.

I'm 5'8/9 and my husband is an inch taller and our girl is in the 91st percentile for height. A midwife also told me she reckoned she'd be 7lb ish and she was nearly 9. Not that it really matters, but these things aren't terribly accurate before birth anyway.

BorneTobyWilde

Aren't people in Ireland very short anyway. Rarely do you see a tall person in Ireland. Most girls are 5ft , it's like Japan. What causes it, american girls are tall. A 14 year old in the states could be 5'8.
What caused the stunted growth in this generation

Beanybabog

BorneTobyWilde wrote: »

Aren't people in Ireland very short anyway. Rarely do you see a tall person in Ireland. Most girls are 5ft , it's like Japan. What causes it, american girls are tall. A 14 year old in the states could be 5'8.
What caused the stunted growth in this generation

Wikipedia quotes measured studies (not self reported) representing over 50% of the population and they show Irish people are on average half an inch taller than American , both men and women.

implausible

It seems a strange thing to be fixated on, so I'd second the idea that it's a manifestation of greater fears about pregnancy that she's not expressing (or possibly unaware of.)

I've had 3 kids and haven't a notion about the percentile stuff. The only things I would have asked about at scans were baby's health, predicted weight (they were nearly always wrong, btw) and baby's position - questions that are directly relevant to how labour is going to go.

If your wife is a person who likes being in control of her life, it might feel safer for her to worry about something she can't control - height. If she normally has a preoccupation with height, it sounds very shallow, but that will all change when she gets the baby in her arms.

Thebe

First Child is going to be stressful, lots of unknowns and lots of head wrecking things going on. Reassure her without dismissing the worry she has, bring it up at your next appointment if she is still worried. A worry is a worry, dismissing it no matter how trivial or unlikely it is will always be counterproductive.

Enjoy the last few months of you both as a couple, plan lots of dates or weekends away if you can.

tiredcity

Google midparental height calculator and input your details. We used to use it in paeds all the time to estimate the likely height of a child once fully grown (~18yrs old) and barring some serious growth disorder, it was usually reasonably accurate.

As everyone else has said, scans are a just guideline not an absolute and she's probably diverting greater anxieties into this particular molehill.

BorneTobyWilde

Beanybabog wrote: »

Wikipedia quotes measured studies (not self reported) representing over 50% of the population and they show Irish people are on average half an inch taller than American , both men and women.

That makes no sense. Just look at a crowd in a busy street, all short asses .

shesty

You should probably investigate what percentiles mean and how they are calculated.
Unless the doctor is standing there telling you there is a problem with the baby, this stuff means nothing.Nothing.At my scans, nobody mentioned anything about percentile anything.And I didn't care.Once that baby was healthy, growing and looked ok that was it.All I wanted to hear.And when they were born....once they were breathing, looked ok to the doctors and everything was fine, that's it.Percentiles don't mean anything much unless the child actually has a problem that's being carefully monitored like not developing weight or something.And at 32 weeks in utero for a baby that looks good and healthy, they mean nothing at all.

I'd just agree gently with your wife for now.Once 40 weeks approaches and labour starts, this will be the last thing on her mind.

whoopsadoodles

tiredcity wrote: »

Google midparental height calculator and input your details. We used to use it in paeds all the time to estimate the likely height of a child once fully grown (~18yrs old) and barring some serious growth disorder, it was usually reasonably accurate.

As everyone else has said, scans are a just guideline not an absolute and she's probably diverting greater anxieties into this particular molehill.

Is that calculator actually any use? I tried that out and my daughter had already outgrown its estimate and has a lot of growing left to do.

Edit: and sure that would mean all sisters and all brothers would be the same height?

cbyrd

A child usually reaches half their estimated adult height by the age of two. They grow in spurts (usually when you just bought them new shoes ) .
Same in the womb, it's an estimated growth. You could have another scan next week and be told the opposite.
I was told at 37 weeks that the baby weighed about 8, 8 ... Her birth weight 4 weeks later was 8, 3 ... It's a guesstimate.
You should definitely bring it up at the next appointment just to have your mind put at ease.

sareer

My grandma says the rule of thumb is that the child's adult height is double the child's height on his/her second birthday. Apparently deemed to be spot on in Germany and my son's second birthday is coming up this year so I will be sure to measure!

catrionanic

My baby's femur length was around the 40th percentile at our 22 week anomaly scan. He's now 12 weeks old and is in the 92nd percentile for height. Both of these measurements mean very little when it comes to predicting what height he will be at 21 years old.

Neyite

I'm interested in her and her families views of short people... It looks like a bit of a projection on her part with a good dash of pregnant hormones thrown in. Was she bullied or did she bully short kids when she was young?

Having a baby embodies all our greatest dreams and worst nightmares to paraphrase Robin Williams. If we've had trauma as children, sometimes that becomes very prominent in your mind again when starting your family because it's the thing you want to protect them from. I know someone who is possibly overly vigilant about potential child abuse, because she was abused. Another couple I know focused on food and obsessing over lots of wholesome organic home-grown stuff - they both came from poor backgrounds where meals were frequently missed. So maybe this panic is a manifestation of that now you have the "having a baby" bit sorted now she's starting to panic a bit about the "rearing them right" part. All entirely normal.

What I started to do when I was pregnant was to build up a library of what I call Really Useful Books which helped me feel like I could pretend I knew what I was doing! Some are for me- like parenting ones, some are for the kid to read when they reach the right age or for when a situation might come up. Some are just because, like some favourite classics or childhood books and the Harry Potter set. These are some on the list that I've got /plan to get:

Wonder is a book about bullying.
Rabbityness is a lovely book that helps explain bereavement.

I'm also ordering the Pants Rule book and one about Tricky people. I've yet to read both of those but I've seen decent reviews.

So it might be an idea to explore her fears why. Is it that she's afraid of her baby getting bullied at school. Has this triggered unhappy memories of her own, and maybe brainstorm practical ways in which you both together could tackle any issue your child might have eg. being short and how you will support your child in a situation like that. Sure, it might just be the hormones, but even if it is just that, she will appreciate being listened to at the time with kindness and respect when she comes out the other side of it and looks back.

Best of luck, and Congrats!

Arcade_Tryer

Wesser wrote: »

The measurement is of absolutely no significance whatsoever.

Not necessarily. Taller men earn more on average than shorter men. So it may be significant if the child is a male. Also women tend to prefer taller men. But in the context of being born or having an abortion, it's fairly insignificant.

Bitches Be Trypsin

Being small isn't the worst, I'm small and quite happy about it

rainbow kirby

Just saw this now - my son was measuring 50th percentile for everything until he was about a month old. He's 16 months now... 99th percentile for height and 60th for weight, he's like a baby basketball player. I'm 5'5" so he certainly doesn't get it from me!

noble00

Hi it's normal to worry about these things especially with your first child , your wife can't help it hormones all over the place , once the child is born healthy you won't care what height the child is, try not to worry best of luck

bee06

I guess the baby has already been born now since the thread is 4 months old?

noble00

Oops hope all is good

The_B_Man

FYI,
Babies usually outgrow the mother.
Babies size at birth has little bearing in adult height.

macmurchu

Thanks for the input everyone. Baby girl, healthy out, 8lb4oz and rapidly growing at 8 weeks now. She's just the best thing ever i melt every time i see her.
The original post was completely anxiety related I'd say. The night before the first round of vaccinations brought out similar fears & responses in her. I guess it's just part of being a first time mum who cares a lot

Cheers lads

noble00

That's great to hear totally understandable to worry when having your first child best of luck

neonsofa

Aw thanks for the update! Congratulations