year old thinks sleeptime is play time

CoClareIre

Our one and a half year old has suddenly changed their sleep habit and it's killing us. She used to go into the cot and with music and sushing we could get her to sleep easily.

But now if you put her in the cot, she thinks it's some game. She will lie down, then go onto her knees, then stand up and jump back down into a lying position again if you move to put her down on her flat again.

We have tried rubbing her back or belly to keep her lying down, but this irritates her and shes ends up crying and screaming herself into an overtired state and then we are in real trouble.

They only way around it is to rock her to sleep and then put her into the cot or if she wakes at night calm her by rocking and then bring her into our bed. It's really frustrating because I feel we have gone backwards. Has anyone any advise to stop this playtime habit?

NIMAN

We have a 3yr, 5yr and 7yr old that all think the same!

TheQuietFella

Your first?

CoClareIre

Yes, that obvious???

TheQuietFella

CoClareIre wrote: »

Yes, that obvious???

Yes! Look, she is getting older, becoming more aware and this is just changing her sleeping routine! Evenings are getting brighter which makes it a little more
difficult to sleep. Put her in a buggy and go walking or read a book to her or just let her crawl on the floor, she'll tire herself out!

NIMAN

Is the room dark enough?

If not, get blackout curtains. Worth it.

seamus

CoClareIre wrote: »

Yes, that obvious???

Part of the problem here that causes this for everyone is that sleeptime is one of the few times in a given day that the child gets the complete and undivided attention of the parent. Or even both parents.

The parent is focussed on getting this child to sleep so they can sit down, relax, have dinner and a glass of wine. The child sees a parent who is doing nothing else but paying them attention. Why would they want to sleep?

The main ways to reduce it are to ensure that the child gets enough play time during the day. Outside is big one for my daughter. If she doesn't get at least 30 minutes running around outside, she's a bag of cats come bedtime.
The second is some playtime, followed by wind-down. So 15-30 minutes of your attention playing with them, then get them ready for bed, wind them down by reading a story or whatever, then put them to bed. Let them bounce around the bed and scream and cry within reason. We had a five-minute rule - if she was still screaming and crying after five minutes, then there was something genuinely wrong and we went into her. 99% of the time, she calmed down and went to sleep in less than 3 minutes.

Their sleep habits do change quite a bit during the first 3/4 years. Just when you think you have it nailed, they change. It's an arms race.

CoClareIre

Unfortunately we already tried those, part of her routine is a walk, reading stories to her etc. etc. We have a massive garden and in an effort to tire her out over the weekend to see if it works ran her around the garden with the dogs, but she just ended up over tired and it was an even bigger cry fest!

We'll try extra blinds, it is brighter in the bedroom alright

Moonbeam

They all do it.
Say good night and leave,they love to play when they are put to bed and wake up.

shesty

Haha, I'm having a similar problem with my 1 year old.She had a whale of a time at naptime over the weekend, drove me nuts.

But....she's my second, and I agree 100% Moonbeam's advice.I left her to it, in her cot.Hung around the landing to make sure she didn't start howling too much, and just let her at it.She tired herself out, ended up asleep in a ball at the bottom of the cot with her head mushed into the footboard.I moved her once she was asleep :-)

The thing you have to understand and accept here is that you cannot actually make her go to sleep.Only she can do that.And it takes as long as it takes.18 months is a classic time for this to start.Unfortunately it gets worse at two years old, you have to just stick it out.I'd leave her in her bed at night, go in to her every ten mins and settle her and then leave again.Do it for as long as it takes.She will go back to sleep again, eventually and a few nights of that and she should start sleeping through (mostly) again.

My older girl is not far off three and she practically disco dances round the bed for a good hour at bedtime every night.I let her at it, once she's not being noisy and is in her bed.I can't make her go to sleep, so I have to walk away.Once she has a good bedtime and lots of fresh air, she'll sleep eventually.They do go through phases like this.

It's a (long distance) marathon....not a sprint. :-)

CoClareIre

shesty wrote: »

Haha, I'm having a similar problem with my 1 year old.She had a whale of a time at naptime over the weekend, drove me nuts.

But....she's my second, and I agree 100% Moonbeam's advice.I left her to it, in her cot.Hung around the landing to make sure she didn't start howling too much, and just let her at it.She tired herself out, ended up asleep in a ball at the bottom of the cot with her head mushed into the footboard.I moved her once she was asleep :-)

The thing you have to understand and accept here is that you cannot actually make her go to sleep.Only she can do that.And it takes as long as it takes.18 months is a classic time for this to start.Unfortunately it gets worse at two years old, you have to just stick it out.I'd leave her in her bed at night, go in to her every ten mins and settle her and then leave again.Do it for as long as it takes.She will go back to sleep again, eventually and a few nights of that and she should start sleeping through (mostly) again.

My older girl is not far off three and she practically disco dances round the bed for a good hour at bedtime every night.I let her at it, once she's not being noisy and is in her bed.I can't make her go to sleep, so I have to walk away.Once she has a good bedtime and lots of fresh air, she'll sleep eventually.They do go through phases like this.

It's a (long distance) marathon....not a sprint. :-)

Well after 2 nights of screaming and leaving her be and hiding in the next room as advised. She now goes crazy crying if you carry her to the cot.

shesty

Are you hiding in the next room at bedtime? That's not actually what I meant. Hiding in the next room basically means they think you've left them. I hang around the upstairs of the house, generally folding clothes and doing a spot of cleaning so they can hear me and know I'm still there for reassurance, but that it is time for bed. The ten minute thing, I actually meant if she wakes in the middle of the night.

What we're trying to say is stick to your bedtime routine, and if you find she's screaming you can either leave the room and leave her to it (personally not my choice but different things suit different people), or you can stay in the room, near the bed and keep telling her quietly that it's time to sleep. And that takes as long as it takes, switch in and out with your husband if you have to. After three nights maybe move closer to the door and keep doing the same thing - then another three nights outside the door. The general advice would be not to rub them or whatever during this, as you are trying to teach them to fall asleep by themselves, without relying on something. That said, both mine have a soother, and my younger, I did hold her hand for months, but she has actually grown out of it since she was about 10 months - holding her hand is now more of a distraction when she's trying to sleep and she pushes it away. But the thing is that at this age it's very common for them to mess around the cot for quite a while before going to bed. They also kind of go through phases where they have to almost re-learn how to go to sleep. What I meant was if she is standing up and rolling around, let her do it. She's just trying to figure out her way of falling asleep. Actually I've discovered with my younger that the more I put her lying down and try to calm her, the more I prolong the process for her. As annoying as it is, you kind of have to just let them do the messing round the bed and know that sleep will come eventually.

Anne_cordelia

What age exactly is the child? There is a big developmental leap around 16-18 months where most children I know go nuts where sleep is concerned. It lasts a few weeks and will improve. I would never leave a child to cry so I just do what I need to do to get the child to sleep and just survive these few weeks while accepting you may not have an evening to yourself.

GerardKeating

NIMAN wrote: »

We have a 3yr, 5yr and 7yr old that all think the same!

As does our 5yr, 7yr and 8yr old.

LegacyUser

On blackout blinds: a nightlight can help. Pitch black means the slightest bit of daylight will light up the room for morning waking, but a blue nightlight will block out these early rays.