Balding destroying my confidence at 20

Munster46

I've slowly come to the realisation that I'm going bald over the last two years and my confidence is taking an awful thumping. I have a bit of thinning on the top of my hair and I feel like it's only getting worse. I feel like what girl is gonna want to go out with a guy who's balding in there 20's? All the lads take the piss out of it as well, which I pretend I don't give a **** about when in reality I do. I always read the comments online like ''Just get ripped and shave your head'' which in my case would look stupid cause I have a baby face and look about 17. I'm always taking photos of my hair and looking at it in the mirror and I just feel like **** about it. I know I shouldn't let hair dictate how I'm feeling, but it's hard not to when everyone around you doesn't have one bit of balding. This is basically just a post to vent and maybe get some advice on how to get over this slump

Passenger

There are loads of options out there these days. Have you considered getting treatment such as a hair transplant? It can be expensive but the best surgeons are abroad anyway in places like Turkey, but on the plus side it's a fraction of the price over there than it is here.

There's also Scalp Micropigmentation like what this guy here had done.

I wouldn't recommend finasteride/propecia but that's a debate for another day. Talk to your GP if you do consider this route.

If it's effecting your confidence in a debilitating way then definitely talk to your GP about it and seek some form of treatment or counseling. But don't get too down about it, Male Pattern Baldness is very common and as I said, there are loads of options available to you.

kunst nugget

My brother started going bald at 17 and I saw the effect it had on his confidence at the time so I understand how hard it can be. I would suggest shaving it all off - I really think there's nothing worse than someone trying to sculpt their thinning hair to try and fool people into thinking they have a fuller hairline - it doesn't fool anyone. If you think you have a baby face, grow a beard to balance it out. When my brother accepted his baldness and shaved his hair off completely, there was a dramatic change in his confidence imo - he was no longer constantly worried about what little hair remained as he wasn't constantly reminded of it.

Don't worry, half of the dudes slagging you will probably be bald by their mid thirties…

ManOfMystery

The default response from a lot of people is, as you've said, always "shave your head! Get ripped!". Unfortunately, not everyone is genetically gifted, and the shaved head & physique can end up being more like Phil Mitchell from Eastenders than Jason Statham for many guys. 

In terms of what you can actually do, there are limited options really. A lot of them will be based on how much hair loss you're suffering - e.g. if it's very slowly receding vs potentially being totally bald in a year or two. 

- Embrace it and shave the head. Some like it, some don't - see my point above. The plus side is that there's no longer any upkeep at all to worry about. I generally find if you're swarthy or keep a good tan and a bit of stubble, it carries off the shaved head look better.

-  Finasteride/propecia can slow and even halt hair loss. It won't magically restore hair that's already gone. Not everyone has great results with it, and as stated by Passenger, you'd be best approaching your GP about it first.

- Hair Transplant. These are getting more common nowadays, but sadly still a lot more expensive to have in Ireland/UK than abroad. Used to raise eyebrows a bit but with so many celebs having them, they've become more normalised - and IMO, no different to spending a few grand getting your teeth done or a boob job etc. I know of some guys who have actually found it substantially cheaper to fly to Eastern Europe for a long weekend and get it done. It's probably the most effective way of restoring a hairline but on the downside it can be costly, can be painful, and will take some time. BUT - you absolutely must do your research in terms of what clinic or specialist you use - there's a few good forums for MPB sufferers where you can check out results. There's been the odd horror story, so do your homework.

- Hair fibres - such as Toppik. If your hairline isn't receding as such but your hair is thinning in places, these can be used to thicken up the hair and are pretty much indistinguishable from your own hair once applied. However you'll need to add hairspray to keep them in and it may become overly dependent on them once you start using them. Can also be difficult if you want to go swimming, or get caught in a rain shower.

- Hairpiece. Not cheap for a good one, but quick and easy, non-invasive and you could even have a few with different styles. Lot of moderns ones blend in much better than the old ones which sat awkwardly on someone's head like a bird had landed on it. However, often people can spot them up close and they're not ideal if you're into a lot of outdoor physical stuff, etc.

Some people will combine a hairpiece (a partial hairpiece) with a hair transplant and use it as a way to supplement what's left of their own hair, rather than going for a full wig.

Ultimately, having your own hair back would be the best confidence builder and that's why transplants are so popular despite the cost. But if that can't be done in a way which is going to look genuine and effective (and thus erode your confidence even more), then you should certainly look at the counselling route - getting to a stage mentally where baldness isn't a problem for you would be the most ideal long term solution in that scenario. Often it seems far worse to the person suffering it than to anyone else - ask yourself how many bald/balding/shaven-headed guys you've passed in the street recently, did you give any of them a second glance?

beans

The best advice I've had on this from friends has been 'shave it'.

Fighting it will be a long, fruitless battle. Just go raw and enjoy it.

Creol1

The term "non-surgical hair replacement system" (or "system" for short) has emerged in certain quarters as the preferred term for an hairpiece. There are actually people you can go to privately who will sort you out on a regular basis instead of a regular barber to make sure it all blends in well, et cetera.

Dr Crayfish

kunst nugget wrote: »

I really think there's nothing worse than someone trying to sculpt their thinning hair to try and fool people into thinking they have a fuller hairline - it doesn't fool anyone.

Nothing worse? In the whole world? That's a bit full on language to be using, no one is trying to "fool" anyone. And I'm saying this as someone who has plenty of hair.

kerryjack

Looks like this came as a surprise to you OP no balding in the family, to be honest it does add a few years on to person so your in your 20s so with the choped head number 1 you will probably look mid 30s nothing wrong with that,you could spend extra money on clothes pay some one to pick cloths for your new look maybe start a gym program bulk up, take your mind off of it, the best thing about getting the head chopped is you need never look at a mirror again

kunst nugget

Dr Crayfish wrote: »

Nothing worse? In the whole world? That's a bit full on language to be using, no one is trying to "fool" anyone. And I'm saying this as someone who has plenty of hair.

Why are you looking to be offended?

Dr Crayfish

kunst nugget wrote: »

Why are you looking to be offended?

I think it's an unfair way to speak of someone who's hair is thinning out. I don't get offended by comments on the internet, I'm made of stronger stuff!

Ursus Horribilis

Would splitting the difference and getting a tight haircut work instead? You could also try asking a barber for advice on the best hairstyle to have if your hair's thinning like that. I know lots of men whose hair is thinning and they don't all go for the cue ball look. A nice tight, tidy haircut can make a man look very attractive. Personally, I find a man trying to grow out his hair at the sides and having it kinda bushy to be a much more unattractive look. I don't care for the beard to compensate for the bald head look but that's a personal preference.

It's lousy that "the lads" are taking the piss out of you. The only difference between you and them is that you're a few years ahead of the posse when it comes to going bald. I can't even begin to understand what it's like for you but I feel for you. It need not be a deterrent to having girlfriends though. If it was, there'd be a lot of single bald men around.

helimachoptor

starting balding as a teenager.
Yeah its **** but tbh not much i could have done about it 17 years or so for me (35 now) so just shaved it off.

Unfortunately given your age i think there'll be some "banter" , you can look on The Gentlemens forum, there's a guy there who got really good transplant, however he was taking propecia (i think) and had to get boobs removed.. not sure if you want to risk that tbh.

My advise and its been said above, embrace it or grow a beard

kunst nugget

Dr Crayfish wrote: »

I think it's an unfair way to speak of someone who's hair is thinning out. I don't get offended by comments on the internet, I'm made of stronger stuff!

1. Nothing worse was just a figure of speech, there are indeed far worse things in life than sculpting your thinning hair with combovers and other techniques to try and give the impression that you have a full head of hair - famines, genocide, pestilence and the like. I hadn't imagined I was going to be jumped on by a pedant for using such a well worn phrase.

2. I hadn't actually singled out anyone and I wasn't trying to insult anyone when giving my advice - advice purpose of the forum - I was trying to get across the point that trying to style your thinning hair to cover up your bald areas in an attempt to make it look like you have a full head of hair are never successful - all it takes is a gust of wind or for you to have to bend down and pick something up for it be obvious to all around you that you are balding. It's much better imo (That's the important part - in my opinion. This is a forum where people ask for other people's opinions) to embrace it as many others have said besides myself and shave it off.

Does this satisfy your word-police vigilance?

Pyr0

I started balding at a younge age myself, 17 or 18 there abouts so I understand how you feel. It's a real kicker to your confidence and the slagging (harmless as it may be) does get to you. I was also looking in mirrors or windows and taking pictures to see how obvious it was and freaking out about other people noticing, I'd even go as far to avoid standing under lights so my head wouldn't shine

I went from long locks to short hair because i couldn't hide it anymore. I always avoided the number 1 cut but then one day my dad just shaved it without me noticing and I had no choice but to shave it completely or look like a dope!

Shaving it was the best thing I've ever done for my confidence. You will find that you'll grow into it and find what works for you with facial hair or no facial hair, it will become much less of a worry.

In my opinion, going for treatments is just going to prolong the worry and anxiety around it, you'll always be aware of it and it will always play on your mind regardless of the work you get done and some day you'll have to bite the bullet and shave it anyway, so why not save the hassle and money and just do it now?

You could always shave it and see how you feel, let whatever is left grow back if you hate it then do what ever you want with it after.

mitresize5

Im not trying to pull rank OP but he is my 'story' (hate that term)

I was like you, hair started thinning when I was 18 and started to worry obsessively about it, like you spend all day looking in the mirror etc ...

then I got cancer when I was 21 and was bald as an egg, all over, for two years.

Needless to say once I recovered worrying about my thinning hair wasnt something on my radar.

Obviously it is consuming you now but as you eventually come to accept it and get a but older you'll realise there are far bigger things in life and you'll come to accept it.

I hope that doenst sound patronizing, as its not meant to be, I can assure you when I was 20 it was the major worry in my life!!

Take a look at how many other lads in their 20's are thin on top

Mr. Incognito

http://coolmenshair.com/2012/10/top-25-famous-sexy-bald-men.html

Just embrace it dude.

whiskeyman

Just wondering how your self esteem is in general?
For me, I was balding for as early as I remember, and it totally knocked me as I was shy and lacked confidence anyway, so thinning hair was something I focused on.
During my early 20s, I learned not to focus on it as much and grew massively in confidence and self acceptance in many other ways.
This helped shift the focus away and I just keep my hair v short.
I feel it really made a difference to me anyway.
Sure, I'd love a full head of hair now, but I wouldn't change my current life for it.