Inviting same-sex friend as wedding guest

LegacyUser

I'm 33, female, single. My sister is getting married soon, and she's given me a wedding invitation for myself and a +1.

I mentioned to her recently that I'd asked a close (female) friend of mine to come with me, and she's not at all happy about it, and neither is my mother. They say it'll start rumours amongst extended family, that I'm in a lesbian relationship. They say it's weird, and that I should either come alone, or bring a male friend. She said she only issued me the +1 invite assuming it would be a male friend/boyfriend I'd bring.

I have four other siblings, and her fiancé has three siblings. All of these siblings are either married or in very long-term relationships, so there are no issues with their +1s.

She has never met this friend I've invited, so it's nothing personal against her. I'm straight, and have had plenty of boyfriends over the years, and as far as I'm aware my sexuality has never been in question. (And to be honest - who cares if it is? Let people think what they want!)

By the way, she knows none of my male friends either, but would be happy for me to bring any of them. So it's not that she doesn't want any strangers at the wedding. However I'm not close enough to any of them to want to invite them.

I'm very happily single, and am likely to be for the foreseeable future. Part of me is inclined to back down and come to the wedding alone. On the other hand though - why should I be left feeling like a spare wheel amongst all the couples just because I'm single? And I'd feel rude "uninviting" my friend now. Besides, I'm not particularly close to my family, and was looking forward to at least having a nice day out catching up with her, if nothing else!

I'm just interested in peoples' opinions on this. According to my sister, bringing friends as a +1 is just not "done" once you're out of your teens/twenties. I honestly can't see myself getting involved in a relationship any time in the next few years, but I don't want to have to go alone to every social event because of this.

Then again, it's her wedding. Should I go along with her wishes just to keep the peace?

Your family is being weird. I've been a +1 for a friend whose boyfriend was away at the time of the wedding. We had a great time.
If she's going to cause an unholy war over it then maybe go along to keep the peace but I'd be pushing back with of course it's normal and nobody except her is going to look at it askance. And if you get any future wedding invites absolutely bring a friend
Eta: if you've already invited the friend dont uninvite them! I didn't see that part. Tell her the invitation has been issued and that's the end of it

RhubarbCrumble

If it was me, I don't think I'd even bother going to be honest!

Sorry, I know that's probably not the most helpful advice, but I think your mother and sister are going completely over the top about absolutely nothing. They're afraid that 'people might think' that you're in a gay relationship? So what, let people think what they like. Even if you were there'd be nothing wrong with that. Actually, the more I think about this, the more angry I'm getting on your behalf. I honestly think if it was me I'd be telling them "Right, I've asked my friend Mary. If there's a problem with that, I'll just stay at home". I can see them backing down very fast then. I mean if they're that worried about what people think, I'm sure they'd have a serious panic about 'what the neighbours will say' if the bride's own sister doesn't go to the wedding.

Armchair Andy

Can you go by yourself? It is your sisters day after all. If they are her wishes then so be it, even though they are stupid reasons.
I've had plenty of family dos where I wouldn't have agreed with some of their ideas, but at the end of the day it's what they wanted and more power to them. I enjoyed myself either way.
Don't make yourself a scapegoat.

Mr. Incognito

This comes up a lot.

It's HER day. If she doesnt want you to bring a mate, then don't.

Don't cause drama for your sisters wedding.

When its YOUR day you can set the rules.

amtc

I've accompanied my best friend to a wedding twice...her husband just isn't very sociable and it was a girly day for us as we stayed over and did spa stuff next day. I've been to many family weddings with my Mam as my dad hates them. I don't really think it matters any more. It's not as bad as having 'family photos' where a couple of months later the person is no longer in the frame.

Big Bag of Chips

Weddings really bring out the weird in people!

In saying that it's "her day", and for the sake of the day I think you should go without a plus one. It's not like you're going to be there on your own, not knowing anyone and having nobody to talk to.

Edit: also just noticed that you have already invited your friend. You can't uninvite her. That would be the height of rudeness on your sister's part. Maybe explain that to her. Nobody, NOBODY is going to take any notice. There will be that many people there that nobody will notice who you are sitting beside or talking to! Tell your sister your sorry to burst her bubble, but if the day goes as well as she hopes then you certainly won't be the focus of anybody's attention!!!

Give it a few days to calm down. Maybe even have a chat with a cousin or aunt "innocently" who will then bring it back to your mother and sister that they're being cracked!

Actually, if you bring a same sex friend people are less likely to assume you're in a relationship. Bring a fella and your whole family will probably be fielding questions of how long your together etc etc etc....

valoren

They are thinking of themselves in this situation. What will people think. They are worried that it might set tongues wagging? It reeks of paranoia from them for me.

You've been given an ultimatum. Come with a guy or come alone. There's always option three. Seeing as you don't get on well with them, would it really bother you if they are peeved that you tell them you won't attend, or be told what to do? There's a big difference between being asked and being told. It has rubbed you up the wrong way understandably.
Make your feelings known and if it's stonewalled then book a holiday or a weekend away with your friend to catch up, and explain the ridiculous situation to her. Sure it will have recrimination but it reads to me that you wouldn't care. Having principles, in this case, not cowing to nonsense traditions, will make you unpopular.

Alternatively, to be tactful, comply with her request. And explain the situation to your friend. She might understand. At least you know now what your family is like. Could she go to the afters? You can catch up then? Nobody will care anyway at that stage.

saggycaggy

This is just mad! How is you bringing a friend to her wedding going to upset things?? Your family are being extremely unreasonable.

You're happily single and want to have a nice day and catch up with a friend and as you say yourself who cares what they think (whether they think you're a lesbian or not.)

Bring the friend and enjoy the day!

Big Bag of Chips

valoren wrote: »

book a holiday or a weekend away with your friend to catch up, and explain the ridiculous situation to her.

If you were to do something like this be sure to give the best man a card to read out after the meal saying "So sorry we can't be there to share your day, love 'Mary & Jane'!!
Sure if you're not going to be there to set tongues wagging, you might as well set them wagging from a safe distance!

lawred2

Your sister is being a tit

Flippyfloppy

Big Bag of Chips wrote: »

valoren wrote: »

book a holiday or a weekend away with your friend to catch up, and explain the ridiculous situation to her.

If you were to do something like this be sure to give the best man a card to read out after the meal saying "So sorry we can't be there to share your day, love 'Mary & Jane'!!
Sure if you're not going to be there to set tongues wagging, you might as well set them wagging from a safe distance!

Best idea I've EVER heard!!!

Neyite

Point out that a LOT more rumours and questions will be asked about your date - how long are ye together, where ye met, jokes that it'll be your turn next and so on. Far less questions and hints dropped from a height if you are obviously just friends. And if she doesn't give a +1 to her own sister, she will just look tight.

I'm planning my wedding too and I'm actually hoping that by that stage most of the family who will be attending will have met my sister's new partner so that my wedding is NOT all about who he is and they thought she was with yer man/ what happened to him / are they amicable/ and how long is she with this fella and trying to work out the timeline /are they serious /what does he do and all that scrutiny. Not for me mind - I'd love the focus to be anywhere but me as the bride, but for the poor sod being the focus of everybody's interest on a day he just might want to be an ordinary guest.

If she really wont budge, go on your own. Apologise to your friend for your sister's bridezilla behaviour and if she is a good friend she'll know it's out of your control and your friendship wont be affected.

blacklilly

I find this so strange. In fact bizarre. I have been to countless weddings where I have brought a female friend as my + 1 and I have attended weddings as a + 1 for other female friends also.

Maybe give her a few days to calm down and actually realise what she has said to you and how illogical it all sounds. Has she been in a relationship for a long time? I notice how a lot of my friends who are in long term relationships have no idea how awkward it can be to attend something on your own and don't give it a second thought. Yet they would be lost if the tables were turned.

Explain to her on a one to one basis that you would really appropriate if she would allow your friend accompany you, that you don't want to feel like the spare wheel on the day. I wouldn't even give any credence to her fear of people gossiping about your sexuality. It certainly wouldn't even enter my head!

lawred2

Small town curtain twitching Catholic Ireland is alive and well judging by this OP's family.

Vlove

I would have a good talking with your family. I mean regardless if rumours start like everyone is gonna talk about everyone if it was funerals, weddings, christenings,etc. Although it's your sister's day, it would be great for you as a single person.to have company. Or maybe a good idea would be not just invite her, invite a few others too!

Big Bag of Chips

How are your family going to explain your sudden "break up" post wedding?

Do your family realise that approximately NOBODY gives a sht?!!

dory

This is madness, bring who you want or don't go. Lots of people bring female friends to weddings, they can be long and tedious.

Scraggs

I see a plus one as for a romantic/life partner not a friend. And I think most people would agree esp when drawing up and budgeting a wedding invite list. I totally disagree with your sisters/mothers "there'll be rumours" point of view and think it's totally narrow minded but I just can't get behind the idea bringing a random friend to your sisters (or anyones) wedding. I'm currently single and have 5 weddings this year, had 12 last year and never once did I think to bring a friend even though I knew for half of them I would only know a small number of people. Obviously from the responses so far I'm an outlier!

Neyite

Scraggs wrote: »

I see a plus one as for a romantic/life partner not a friend. And I think most people would agree esp when drawing up and budgeting a wedding invite list. I totally disagree with your sisters/mothers "there'll be rumours" point of view and think it's totally narrow minded but I just can't get behind the idea bringing a random friend to your sisters (or anyones) wedding. I'm currently single and have 5 weddings this year, had 12 last year and never once did I think to bring a friend even though I knew for half of them I would only know a small number of people. Obviously from the responses so far I'm an outlier!

I've no problem attending a wedding on my own, even if I know very few there. It's a bit daunting and probably mentally exhausting but I'm chatty and I'd get though it ok. But for lots of other people, people who are introverts or have anxiety, a day like that would fill them with utter horror and dread, and having someone there to chat to would make all the difference. It's a family wedding so it's not like the OP can decline the invite and not have any family fall out on her hands to contend with.

Knine

Mr. Incognito wrote: »

This comes up a lot.

It's HER day. If she doesnt want you to bring a mate, then don't.

Don't cause drama for your sisters wedding.

When its YOUR day you can set the rules.

Bridezilla comes to mind. I think it is very weird not to be able to bring a friend & would probably stay at home.

miamee

A plus one is just that - you plus one other person. There is no rule that you must be sleeping with that person! I've brought my sister as my +1 on a couple of occasions to friends weddings, it was never an issue. I have no idea if anyone thought there was something funny about it nor would I care.
Other posters have made good points that no one is really going to care. "Oh who's this?" "This is my friend Mary, we're both single at the moment so I brought her along as my +1 so we can check out all the single men together" or something like that is about as interested as anyone is going to be. However to save drama on the day, I wouldn't just barrel along and bring my friend when I've been told not to, silly as it is. It would be uncomfortable for her apart from anything else. If you can't change your sisters point of view about it then I'd uninvite the friend and tell her why.

Personally, I agree with those that say your mother and sister are being completely absurd ... but I also agree with those who say it's "her day". In any discussion I've seen on invitees to a wedding, the consensus has always been "it's your day" and this is no different ... well apart from the fact it's a bit bizarre.

You're not particularly close to your family and you admit you were using the invitation to have a nice day out with your friend and catch up with her.

I would make it clear to my sister that the friend is already invited because you weren't aware of her policy :rolleyes: and if it escalates, leave them to it. Go if you want or don't, but your friend will understand the situation if you have to uninvite her, I would anyway.

Scraggs

Neyite wrote: »

I've no problem attending a wedding on my own, even if I know very few there. It's a bit daunting and probably mentally exhausting but I'm chatty and I'd get though it ok. But for lots of other people, people who are introverts or have anxiety, a day like that would fill them with utter horror and dread, and having someone there to chat to would make all the difference. It's a family wedding so it's not like the OP can decline the invite and not have any family fall out on her hands to contend with.

I didn't mean for my post to come across as insensitive, as someone with anxiety and PTSD I know too well that feeling of dread! The issue I see really and should have expressed better I guess is the fact the OP has stated she

was looking forward to at least having a nice day out catching up with her, if nothing else!

rather than celebrating her sisters and new brother in law's big day. It just appears to me that the nonsense excuse given by her sister/mother has made the OP feel slighted, annoyed she has to uninvite her friend and turned this into "drama" that could have been easily avoided.

Hannibal_Smith

I have never heard anything more ridiculous!! I have been to PLENTY of weddings where someone has brought a same sex friend. At my own wedding a guest was single but brought a friend as did my sister. What is the big deal? And seriously in a time where we're supposed to be so open minded that we've introduced gay marriage, mindsets like your mother and sister set us back 20 years. What if you were gay? Would your partner not be allowed attend? And I don't believe it being her wedding day is an excuse for narrow mindedness.

Presumably your friend will get a giggle out of the situation and how stupid it is. But I would go to the wedding on my own. I would tell your sister tongues are likely to wag regardless of the gender of the plus 1 and you would rather not have people gossip about you.

People and weddings :rolleyes:

SouthernBelle

Do you normally travel by time machine when you go to visit your family in the 1950's? :rolleyes:

I've been my friend's +1 at her sister's wedding and I had a friend bring a same-sex (platonic) friend to my wedding. NOBODY CARED!! :eek:

Neon_Lights

right back atcha wrote: »

I'm 33, female, single. My sister is getting married soon, and she's given me a wedding invitation for myself and a +1.

I mentioned to her recently that I'd asked a close (female) friend of mine to come with me, and she's not at all happy about it, and neither is my mother. They say it'll start rumours amongst extended family, that I'm in a lesbian relationship. They say it's weird, and that I should either come alone, or bring a male friend. She said she only issued me the +1 invite assuming it would be a male friend/boyfriend I'd bring.

I have four other siblings, and her fiancé has three siblings. All of these siblings are either married or in very long-term relationships, so there are no issues with their +1s.

She has never met this friend I've invited, so it's nothing personal against her. I'm straight, and have had plenty of boyfriends over the years, and as far as I'm aware my sexuality has never been in question. (And to be honest - who cares if it is? Let people think what they want!)

By the way, she knows none of my male friends either, but would be happy for me to bring any of them. So it's not that she doesn't want any strangers at the wedding. However I'm not close enough to any of them to want to invite them.

I'm very happily single, and am likely to be for the foreseeable future. Part of me is inclined to back down and come to the wedding alone. On the other hand though - why should I be left feeling like a spare wheel amongst all the couples just because I'm single? And I'd feel rude "uninviting" my friend now. Besides, I'm not particularly close to my family, and was looking forward to at least having a nice day out catching up with her, if nothing else!

I'm just interested in peoples' opinions on this. According to my sister, bringing friends as a +1 is just not "done" once you're out of your teens/twenties. I honestly can't see myself getting involved in a relationship any time in the next few years, but I don't want to have to go alone to every social event because of this.

Then again, it's her wedding. Should I go along with her wishes just to keep the peace?

As my late aunt said God rest her soul, "Girls are leppin b1tches"

Jayop

You're right, your family are wrong but it's her day and as much of an arse as they're being you're as well going along with it for the sake of keeping the peace

The way I see it is close family can bring a mate as their plus one but friends or distant relatives should not bring anyone if it's not a partner.

Big Bag of Chips

It'll be interesting to see if/when others reply with a same sex +1 will they be told "No"!!

Big Bag of Chips

Jayop wrote: »

The way I see it is close family can bring a mate as their plus one but friends or distant relatives should not bring anyone if it's not a partner.

Not necessarily. If anything a distant relative or friend should be MORE entitled to bring whoever they like because there's a chance they won't know a whole lot of people there. Family will know everyone. When my friend got married my husband couldn't come. I would have known NOBODY else, except my friends family, who were all obviously otherwise engaged that day. I brought my sister. And we had a lovely day. If I couldn't bring anyone except my partner I either wouldn't have gone, or I would have politely made my excuses after sitting through the dinner.

leahyl

I can't believe people are saying that because it's "her" day that the OP should go alone! OP has said that the sister has no problem with her bringing a male friend but not a female one! That's not the same as not wanting her to bring anyone! She put a plus one on the invitation, she presumably knows that her sister is single so why should she be expected to bring a male friend??

What an utter drama queen her sister is :mad:

Sheog

Op, I am quite outraged on your behalf!

Many people have already covered what I was going to say:
Plenty of people bring a friend or sibling as their plus one when they are single. It's always nice to know that you have someone there who has you back at an occasion like a family wedding. Say for example someone spills their drink on you, and you need help getting cleaned up, or if your strange aunt Alice has trapped you in a corner somewhere and you need to be rescued from an awkward conversation? Your plus one is the person you can turn to. I personally have been to weddings on my own and with a plus one who is a female friend and I far prefer having a plus one there.

Who cares what people think? What if you were a lesbian in a committed relationship? Would they prefer if you had a one night stand with some randomer and brought him as your guest instead of a trusted friend who is likely to be in your life for years?

Why did she give you a plus one in the first place if she is going to dictate who you can and can't bring? I get what people are saying that it's 'her day' and all that, but she doesn't get to control your choices! Where is the respect? Where is the sisterly support. (from her I mean!)

I had a similar situation when my brother got married a couple of years ago. My other brother and I were both single at the time and my sister in law gave us both a plus one. We both asked 2 friends of ours who actually also know each other as our guests which we thought would work out very well. But about 2 weeks before the wedding my sister in law freaked out and demanded to know why we were bring people that she didn't know. She demanded that we uninvite our guests and not bring anyone. It caused all sorts of up set at the time, but we did what she demanded. (we had no choice really) My mother was especially furious, saying that it was insulting and disrespectful. my mother still mentions it occasionally to this day (years later!), whenever my sister in law says or does something that upsets my Mom.

Families eh? We don't get to choose them unfortunately!

I think you should stick to your guns op, and take your friend to the wedding and tell your Mom and your sister to grow up!!

Armchair Andy

OP you're going to get a lot of hero calls on this topic but at the end of the day it's you who has to decide.
Substitute into your exact scenario children instead of a same sex friend there wouldn't be half as much uproar or outcry. You pretty much would be told to leave your kids at home as requested.
It's the demographic you're dealing with here on Boards.ie.

I'm gonna get slated but that's my opinion.

seamus

People are weird. I have a cousin on my mother's side, late 30's, eternally single. As far as I know she's never even had a boyfriend. My mother has remarked once or twice that she thinks this girl is probably gay.

My mother couldn't care less, she just likes to analyse everyone. But I know that her sister (this girl's mother) would be mortified if she thought someone believed her daughter was gay. The kicker is that she already has a gay son who's been out and proud for nigh on 20 years at this stage, but for whatever reason she'd hate to think that people were saying that she also has a gay daughter.

And OP, it's the same in your case. This is not about what other people think, not really. This is about your mother's own discomfort with the thought of having a gay daughter; or even someone implying that she might.

Get your sister alone and ask if she actually has a problem with it or if she's just trying to keep mammy happy. I'm assuming it's probably the latter, in which case you should challenge your mother and ask her why she would be so uncomfortable with having a gay daughter.

Another factor here that is important - your sister has never met this friend. So her objection is partially personal. A wedding day is a private personal, family day. The last thing anyone wants there are people they don't really know. If you had invited an old friend that your sister knew growing up, or even someone she's met a number of times, I think you'd find far less resistance.

Can you arrange to get this friend more involved in the run up to the wedding - at least introduce her to your family, have a few nights out where she's included, etc?

DaeryssaOne

Armchair Andy wrote: »

Substitute into your exact scenario children instead of a same sex friend there wouldn't be half as much uproar or outcry. You pretty much would be told to leave your kids at home as requested.

That is absolute 100% codswollop and fully ridiculous. It is not at all the 'exact same scenario' bringing children to a wedding rather than bringing a grown-up friend One would hope your grown-up friend isn't going to run around expecting to be entertained, wailing and distracting people during the ceremony and being a general all round nuisance at what is generally an adult event - eating a proper meal and drinking alcohol is not where kids belong. I imagine you are one of those people who feels outraged when his precious kids aren't invited to what is an adult's event.

Armchair Andy

jobr wrote:

That is absolute 100% codswollop and fully ridiculous. It is not at all the 'exact same scenario' bringing children to a wedding rather than bringing a grown-up friend One would hope your grown-up friend isn't going to run around expecting to be entertained, wailing and distracting people during the ceremony and being a general all round nuisance at what is generally an adult event - eating a proper meal and drinking alcohol is not where kids belong. I imagine you are one of those people who feels outraged when his precious kids aren't invited to what is an adult's event.

I'm not on about what happens on the day. I said in this scenario, ie had the OP found out that her children were not invited having told them they were going to their aunt's wedding.
Your imagination is rife, I love a good knees up without the kids. If you had read my earlier post you might have realised that.

AM258

OP that is crazy! I got married last year and plenty of friends and cousins brought same sex friends (including my sister who was a bridesmaid), nobody even thought twice about it.

I appreciate how difficult family disagreements around weddings can be but in my opinion you are 100% right on this. I hope your stand your ground. Fingers crossed your family come to their senses and you can bring your friend without any further drama.

amtc

Just to add. My cousin got married some years ago. She sent an invite to our grandmother abroad. She wouldn't be able to travel. My aunt replied to say she would attend on behalf of the family as she was travelling to Ireland anyway when my aunt got here there was a letter waiting for her at my parents to say only special people invited but she could 'rock up' to the afters. It was a two page letter, stating only for special people.

My aunt, my other cousin and me went to afters. Turns out groom's mother had hired guy off internet!

Been a bit of a rift since then

Big Bag of Chips

Armchair Andy, it's a different scenario. It's not the same thing as presuming your children are going to be invited and telling them before the invitation is sent out.

The OP was told to ask a friend. She asked her friend. Now her family are deciding that friend can't be invited because they're not the 'right type' of friend.

Not the same as children being invited or not, in any way.

Hannibal_Smith

Armchair Andy wrote: »

OP you're going to get a lot of hero calls on this topic but at the end of the day it's you who has to decide.
Substitute into your exact scenario children instead of a same sex friend there wouldn't be half as much uproar or outcry. You pretty much would be told to leave your kids at home as requested.
It's the demographic you're dealing with here on Boards.ie.

I'm gonna get slated but that's my opinion.

Deciding not to have kids at a wedding is absolutely the choice of the bride and groom. To say no to a plus 1 because of their gender in case other guests thought they were gay is downright offensive and homophobic, which in this day and age I would have thought was frowned upon.

Turtle_

This really isn't a big deal. Uninvite your friend, explaining exactly why. Make plans to do something together where you get dressed up- like the horse show or something.

Go on your own. It's a family wedding ffs, you'll know everyone there.

Your mother and sister are being ridiculous, but its really not a huge deal to go by yourself to a wedding where you'll know most of the people. This is one where even though you've done nothing wrong, I'd just keep the peace.

omah

Oh you poor thing, I have been through all of this with family weddings over the years and it is so painful and upsetting. I am so glad I am at a stage now where there are no family weddings on the cards for me until the nieces and nephews start getting hitched in 15-20 years time...good luck!

moonage

Scraggs wrote: »

I see a plus one as for a romantic/life partner not a friend.

Yeah, a +1 is your Other Half, not some friend.

If you don't have an OH, go on your own. With such a large family there'll be plenty of people to interact with. Bringing along a friend is unnecessary and a bit strange.

Steviesol

This crap makes me ashamed to be Irish. The what will people think brigade. Is it any wonder people drink to excess.

Big Bag of Chips

moonage wrote: »

Yeah, a +1 is your Other Half, not some friend.


Bringing along a friend is unnecessary and a bit strange.

Except it was her sister who gave her the +1 in the full knowledge that she didn't have an other half so would be bringing a friend! The sister doesn't have a problem with her bringing along a friend, so long as it's a male friend.

THAT'S what's a bit strange!!

leggo

To marry the "this is stupid" versus "it's her day" arguments (both of which I agree with) with a practical solution: why not just put it to your sister, not your Mam, saying that this person has already been invited. Since it's her day, you'll respectfully uninvite her if that's what she wants, but you'll also have to explain to your friend why she's been uninvited. Then your sister will have to weigh up HER looking really backwards and stupid directly against what will people think of YOU and maybe, just maybe, she'll realise it's not that big of a deal. Without knowing your sister, I'd imagine you'll get a stressed, "Do what you like..." answer and the problem will be solved.

Scraggs

Big Bag of Chips wrote: »

Except it was her sister who gave her the +1 in the full knowledge that she didn't have an other half so would be bringing a friend! The sister doesn't have a problem with her bringing along a friend, so long as it's a male friend.

THAT'S what's a bit strange!!

Tbh I'd say it's probably down to most Irish weddings being planned a year in advance and the sister isn't ruling out that she may be dating someone when the big day happens.

Hannibal_Smith

When I was inviting people to my wedding I gave them the option of a plus one. They could bring who ever they wanted. I wanted people to feel relaxed and welcome. I was brought up on the premise that people who attend a wedding are your guest. I'm not cocky enough to believe that they should feel honoured to be invited. I was brought up to believe that they were my guests and they should feel welcome and thanked for coming to celebrate the occasion. That is always how weddings in my family have gone. To send out a plus one and dictate who should be the plus one is very odd in my opinion.

freshpopcorn

Any family event I've being invited to the invite generally just said friends. It's pretty obvious to me from anything that I've ever being to the difference between a couple or people who were just friends. I think your sister and mother are being very petty about the whole thing.

Big Bag of Chips

Scraggs wrote: »

Tbh I'd say it's probably down to most Irish weddings being planned a year in advance

Invitations don't usually get sent out a year in advance though!

bee06

My cousin brought one of his (male) friends as his plus one. I couldn't have cared less. I'm sure he enjoyed the more and that's all that mattered.

I think if your sister had said she would have preferred if any plus one was someone she knew then it would be somewhat understood but this stupidity about being afraid people would think you were gay is beyond ridiculous.