Do you ever lie awake in your bed, look around and think..

retro:electro

If someone walked into the room to attack me, what would I do to defend myself? Am in bed alone now and if someone came into the room to try and harm me I don't think there's anything in here that I could grab to defend myself. Maybe a pair of blunt toe nail scissors, but I'd have to rummage to find them and I'd probably be murdered by then.
Should we all sleep with a knife under the bed? :pac:

RobertKK

I get into bed and usually asleep before I have time to think about being murdered in my bed.

That said, how many people do you know that have been murdered in their bed at night?

Grueller

If I heard them in time they would have two rifles and a shotgun to answer to.

Fighting Tao

Get yourself some blackout blinds. No more looking around in bed at night once you have them.

The_Valeyard

First mistake already made OP

He wont be walking into the room.


He is already under the bed.

myshirt

Stop watching television before bed, let your mind relax

I've some empty glass beer and wine bottles lying around my bed.
Some people might say that's a result of problem drinking but I prefer to look at it as preparation of implements for self-defence.

Senna

Sleep in the wardrobe, then when the intruder walks in, jump out and shout "BOO", you'll give the fecker a heart attack.

Junkyard Tom

What was the name of that serial killer who hid in women's bedroom wardrobes before committing his crimes?

Are Am Eye

you could always flash him

You could disarm him with your feminine charms

_Whimsical_

You'd hear them coming, you'd have time to panic and at least jump out of your bed!

retro:electro

I would hide under the covers and stick out my middle finger

D Trent

Grueller wrote: »

If I heard them in time they would have two rifles and a shotgun to answer to.

Have you three ****ing hands or something?

TresGats

Yeah, occasionally. I have a pool ball (dresser) and a sock (floor) both within arms reach though.
I do yoga nidra on headphones every night to quiet my mind or I can't sleep. Try it, youtube- yoga nidra for sleep- only takes 20 minutes and your mind is switched off and you feel like you are floating on a cloud after it.

purple_rose

I'm lying in bed thinking of what do i do with my life. I'm mid 30s, stuck in a job where I'm the office scapegoat. Trying to figure out what to do. I can't afford to go back to college for the third time in my life. And for what, for it all to go tits up again. I'll be 40 with no life and broke after college. Wouldn't be able to travel at 40 and can't exactly afford a mortgage now, i don't see that changing any time soon.

I'm getting older with nothing to show for it. I wish i can take 20 years of my life and start all over again at 18. That's what I'm thinking lying awake in bed tonight.

Permabear

This post has been deleted.

Your Face

They really shouldn't burst in on me.

Jack the Stripper

While ur riding anyway.

I would throw all of my books at them!

Sometimes after watching my murder stories I do contemplate such things. Mostly I think about the past. I also do this weird thing where I pick a random famous person and wonder what they are doing right now.

Are Am Eye

A lock on your bedroom door would give you peace of mind. F you dont have intruder alarm system. You willhear someone trying to open your locked door. Giving you time to pick up your weapon of choice and/or make a phone call.
Think bread knife instead of nail scissors

Fuzzytrooper

Junkyard Tom wrote: »

What was the name of that serial killer who hid in women's bedroom wardrobes before committing his crimes?

Not sure of his real name but I believe he went by the username of Senna

PARlance

Are Am Eye wrote: »

A lock on your bedroom door would give you peace of mind. F you dont have intruder alarm system. You willhear someone trying to open your locked door. Giving you time to pick up your weapon of choice and/or make a phone call.
Think bread knife instead of nail scissors

Bread knife?

What are you going to do.... grab their hand and start a sawing motion until you break skin.

Day Lewin

Why in the name of goodness would anyone wish to do that? Murder a complete stranger for no reason?
Are you stinko rich or a wicked blackmailer? Maybe a recanting drug dealer or a heart-breaker?
Relax, go to sleep.

Samuel T. Cogley

What with all the annihilation fetishist lately?

Jack the Stripper

The dry weather.

Alpha_zero

PARlance wrote: »

Bread knife?

What are you going to do.... grab their hand and start a sawing motion until you break skin.

Soft tissue of the ear into the brain

Glenster

its not an episode of criminal minds mate. no one cares enough about you to kill you.

Are Am Eye

PARlance wrote: »

Bread knife?

What are you going to do.... grab their hand and start a sawing motion until you break skin.

No ill shove it through your socket.

retro:electro

Glenster wrote: »

its not an episode of criminal minds mate. no one cares enough about you to kill you.

I'll take solace in knowing that if someone murders me, at least the cared about me enough to murder me

PARlance

Are Am Eye wrote: »

No ill shove it through your socket.

Careful now, you might get electrocuted.

Jack the Stripper

M8 not football friends?

Glenster

anna080 wrote: »

I'll take solace in knowing that if someone murders me, at least the cared about me enough to murder me

They'll probably think you're someone else.

So thats that ruined.

Are Am Eye

PARlance wrote: »

Careful now, you might get electrocuted.

Its a knife with a wooden handle. HA!

retro:electro

Glenster wrote: »

They'll probably think you're someone else.

So thats that ruined.

As long as they mistake me for someone hot I'm happy

punisher5112

Keep a glass of acid beside your bed it will come in handy.

Don't go bed stay out on your porch with a shotgun works wonders.
Downside you will never sleep.

Booby trap your room so there are limited safe places to step.


Watch the walking dead get some survival tips.

MonkieSocks

Mountainsandh

Around Christmas there were lots of break ins around my area (very rural). Mr M was away for several weeks. I'm normally never scared at home on my own, but I had a nervous night or two when community alerts were bleeping on my mobile every evening. So I took the defrosting spray for my car, you know, the tall spray bottles you get in Lidl. I kept it there, beside my bed, sure does no harm.

I'd defrost the ****ers like chickens should the need arise.:D:cool:

greencap

Any trouble I reach for my piss bottle.

purple_rose

Mountainsandh wrote: »

Around Christmas there were lots of break ins around my area (very rural). Mr M was away for several weeks. I'm normally never scared at home on my own, but I had a nervous night or two when community alerts were bleeping on my mobile every evening. So I took the defrosting spray for my car, you know, the tall spray bottles you get in Lidl. I kept it there, beside my bed, sure does no harm.

I'd defrost the ****ers like chickens should the need arise.:D:cool:

In case you're ever broken into, get yourself a small safe. Fill it up with pieces of newspapers. Lock it up and put it somewhere that you can easily see in your living room/kitchen. If you're ever broken into, they will more than likely take the safe thinking there's money in it.

Jobs OXO

anna080 wrote: »

If someone walked into the room to attack me, what would I do to defend myself? Am in bed alone now and if someone came into the room to try and harm me I don't think there's anything in here that I could grab to defend myself. Maybe a pair of blunt toe nail scissors, but I'd have to rummage to find them and I'd probably be murdered by then.
Should we all sleep with a knife under the bed? :pac:

Get yerself a lad to join you in the leaba. Wile away the time with a bit of rumpy pumpy. He will defo protect you for a feel of your ample baps !

retro:electro

Jobs OXO wrote: »

Get yerself a lad to join you in the leaba. Wile away the time with a bit of rumpy pumpy. He will defo protect you for a feel of your ample baps !

Why did I read this in a Scottish accent? I have one but he's away :pac:

mojesius

Op needs a terrier. Snuggly yet fierce, alert and loud

Mountainsandh

anna080 wrote: »

Why did I read this in a Scottish accent? I have one but he's away :pac:

Now I'm reading it in Billy Conolly's voice.

Beyondgone

I'm usually too tired to care.

shaunr68

Claw hammer in the bedside cabinet next to me here, as the bedroom window is double glazed and only opens at the top I want to be able to get out in a hurry in case of fire. Should also suffice to embed into the skull of anyone intending harm

Sirsok

I have a bat that I named alfred on my side of the bed incase anyone broke in, missus house was broken into when she was the only one in the place, so is sensitive to the issue hence alfred

Hammer89

anna080 wrote: »

Glenster wrote: »

They'll probably think you're someone else.

So thats that ruined.

As long as they mistake me for someone hot I'm happy

Which you are, if I remember right. 
*not a stalker*






*might be a stalker*

mojesius

mojesius wrote: »

Op needs a terrier. Snuggly yet fierce, alert and loud

Yep. My bigger dog wouldn't hear an intruder until they were beside her and then she'd probably give them a lick and lead them to the valuables.
My terrier on the other hand can't let a leaf blow by on a breeze without waking me to warn me about it. He's incredible. I don't think he ever truly sleeps.

Academic

purple_rose wrote: »

I'm lying in bed thinking of what do i do with my life. I'm mid 30s, stuck in a job where I'm the office scapegoat. Trying to figure out what to do. I can't afford to go back to college for the third time in my life. And for what, for it all to go tits up again. I'll be 40 with no life and broke after college. Wouldn't be able to travel at 40 and can't exactly afford a mortgage now, i don't see that changing any time soon.

I'm getting older with nothing to show for it. I wish i can take 20 years of my life and start all over again at 18. That's what I'm thinking lying awake in bed tonight.

Yes. I'm sure all of us from time to time lay awake worrying about things. I do, I know.

It could be work-related, financial, or just general angst like worrying about dying. And worrying about dying is perfectly rational; I’m sure we all do it since we all know we’re going to die.

What’s not rational is worrying about dying because someone sneaks into your bedroom at night at kills you. That’s probably about as likely as being killed by a meteorite.

Worry about causes of death that are actually common.

FanadMan

anna080 wrote: »

If someone walked into the room to attack me, what would I do to defend myself? Am in bed alone now and if someone came into the room to try and harm me I don't think there's anything in here that I could grab to defend myself. Maybe a pair of blunt toe nail scissors, but I'd have to rummage to find them and I'd probably be murdered by then.
Should we all sleep with a knife under the bed? :pac:

I have a "That's not a knife....THAT'S a knife!!!" knife under my bed. Been there so long that it's probably rusty. Last time it was used was to pare a scratchy toenail when I couldn't find a pair of scissors.

gitzy16v

Hammer89 wrote: »

Which you are, if I remember right. 
*not a stalker*






*might be a stalker*

We have a suspect.