ignored by sister

LegacyUser

My sister ignores me at events.
At all events where there is other ppl.she goes out of her way not to talk to me... even at family occasions she ignores me or barely speaks to me.
At sis in law christening she did not speak to me.
At sis wedding she spoke to me for about 2 seconds.
She spoke to all other sisters as seen her.

At her kids functions she also goes out of her way to avoid me.

However we meet up on our own and she has no problem chatting to me.

I don't know why and the only thing I can come up with his size.I am not as confident as her but neither are my other sisters.
I seen wedding photo recently and I didn't know where she was but she was in background making sure not to come talk yo me as to not to be seen with me.

How do I deal with this?
Deep down I don't think it's the weight as she has a very over weight vocal friend and she would not ignore her.

Thanks.

P.S I tried posting this a few days ago but may have been missed.

Neyite

Try asking her maybe? A heap of strangers on the internet wont be able to tell you what's going on in her head and you are more likely to get the right answer from asking her. So the next time you are meeting with her one-on-one, could you ask her?

LegacyUser

She will just say jeepers no I haven't and continue to ignore me at events.She goes out of her way not be photographed beside me.

She talks to all my other sisters and they wouldn't be confident.
What can I do in this situation?
Why is she like this?

Best thing for me to do is just talk to everyone else and not bother with her?

It seems I am not good enough for her.

ShaShaBear

Rain111 wrote: »

She will just say jeepers no I haven't and continue to ignore me at events.She goes out of her way not be photographed beside me.

She talks to all my other sisters and they wouldn't be confident.
What can I do in this situation?
Why is she like this?

Best thing for me to do is just talk to everyone else and not bother with her?

It seems I am not good enough for her.

You're hardly the same woman who complained that her sisters didn't give her every last scrap of information from their lives because a cousin was on Dragon's Den and you weren't on Facebook to find out?

LegacyUser

It didn't matter they did not tell me.
They all lied numerous times to me.....
They knew I was annoyed last time but yet they did it again.

I am not going to ask them even basic questions anymore as I don't need to be lied to.

freshpopcorn

Maybe she likes to catch up with other people at family events because she can talk to you anytime!

LegacyUser

That doesn't bother me at all but she talks to relations and sisters but not me actively making sure she won't be photographed beside me either.

Big Bag of Chips

Maybe it is all of those things you mention.
Maybe it's none of them.

One thing I have learned over the years is what we think people are thinking is generally not what they're thinking at all. If you're not going to talk to her about it, there's nothing anyone here can offer by way of insight.

I can't figure out what you mean by 'size'. Your size or her size?
Anyway, if she's your sister and you get on well, meet up separately for chats, then I don't think size could be an issue.

retro:electro

Do you honestly think posters here are going to be able to tell you why your sister doesn't talk to you at events, having never met either you or your sister?

charlietheminxx

Not to be rude but OP did you actually listen to any of the advice in your previous thread? Stop focusing on your sisters. Go live your life! Build up good relationships with people you like and are comfortable with.

Why are you making yourself miserable by wasting your time and energy dwelling on your relationship with your sisters?

witchgirl26

OP honestly I would wonder if it's a case that because she chats to you outside of these that she feels she should talk to others who maybe she doesn't see as much at them and it's not a case of ignoring you but rather putting attention to other people instead.

I barely talked to my sister at her wedding once things got going & I was a bridesmaid! I'd spent all the day before and the morning with her so her priority was talking to the other guests she hadn't seen. I hardly talked to my sis-in-law at my nephew's confirmation as she was busy dealing with her family (who she doesn't see that often) and sorting things out. I don't think either were ignoring me.

If you think it's a weight thing ask her straight out. She's your sister and if you think she's bulls***ing you saying no, call her out on it. If it is that though, you deserve to be treated better so maybe don't place much emphasis on the relationship with her and focus on other, more positive relationships.

Xterminator

Hi OP

no-one who never met you both could answer that question. With your sister, maintain that civil relationship but don't spend time obsessing over why people act like they do. Half the time they couldn't tell you themselves why. Judge people by what they do, and how they act.

But the advice of getting on with your life, building good relationships and friendships with people who reciprocate with you. thats where you need to focus.

Hannibal_Smith

If your sister talks to you at other times, maybe she is trying to catch up with those that she hasn't seen so much of? Why would you think that she goes out of her way to deliberately be photographed beside you? That's a strange conclusion to reach.

On the other hand if you are at occasions and you get talking to your sister would you commandeer her time so wouldn't be able to chat to anyone else?

LegacyUser

I don't mind her talking to relations etc but she also talks my sister's at things and ignores me.
She defo actively goes out of her way not to be photographed beside me.
She is v pretty thin but perhaps insecure .
I am double her size but pretty I guess.
I think she doesn 't to be photographed beside me because of fb and she thinks everyone is better than me.

I bought a top yrs ago and she asked where I got it.I told her she bought exact same one.
No prob.She posted photo on fb and I commented nice top wonder where u got it or similar. She didn't even like the comment.She always commented n thimgs or at least liked them.Perhaps she didn't want anyone to know I had bought top initially.

I am not on fb now.

Anyway I am getting on with my life now.
One of my sisters bday was today but I did not send card.I text happy bday though.I fekta bit guilty about that but sure will give present when see her.
The guilt went when I thought of all the.lies I had been told.

LegacyUser

Update.
Sis that got married texted at 6.Watching wedding dvd Fri afternoon /eve.Now she knows I work till 6 on a Friday and I live almost 3 hrs away.



So I text back great see you at 8:).She is blatantly ignoring this text.
Now why text if u only want certain ppl to go i.e all.sisters apart from me.

Now I know ye will all say it's her wedding dvd and can watch when she wants but clearly wants a family thing and not bothered if I miss it.

They can watch the dvd ten times over but obviously wants a family gathering but not bothered if I don't make it

Like why even text me.
I am the one that drives the farthest for everything.
Like she could have it a sat no probs.
It's like everything to suit herself but really asking me for this Fri.
She doesm't care if I am not there.

Be interesting to see what she replies with and yes I get her dvd.She can watch it millions of times.It is clear shw wants a family gathering and doesn-t care if I make it.


Hope this is posted as cud do with some advice re this.

I texted I be there at 8 to watch it.I think that is reasonable

LegacyUser

Well anyway she replied and all good
I still have a bad feeling bout it all but gonna go anyway.

Big Bag of Chips

I thought a week ago you were going to leave them all to it?

Really, honestly, the idea of sitting through 3 hours of someone else's DVD of their wedding would be my idea of hell. I haven't ever even watched my own!! If I got an invitation like that I think I'd be politely declining due to 'washing my hair' or something.

Now you're giving out that she replied and it's all sorted.

What do you want to come from all of these posts, OP? You say you could do with advice. Advice on what? You're not asking any questions, just turning this into a blog of how wronged you are by your sisters. Even when they reply and "all's good", you still have a bad feeling.

Honestly, OP, do you look for trouble? Do you create trouble? Like I said previously, if you have a problem with everyone else, maybe everyone else isn't the problem. You go to great lengths to say how quiet and easy going you are, yet your posts are all negative and looking for the worst in them. Maybe you don't realise it, but if you're like that in text, you're almost certainly like that in real life, and that can be hardwork for most people.

retro:electro

Really op? She text you to invite you to watch the DVD and you're still not happy about that. From what I can see, you are totally overly critical about every single thing they do. You're actually obsessed.
I don't think there's much more advice posters here can offer you, tbh.

freshpopcorn

To be honest you sound very petty to me about every little thing. The world doesn't revolve around you. Maybe the time suits other people. You cater to the majority and not the minority.

Dial Hard

Rain111 wrote:

I bought a top yrs ago and she asked where I got it.I told her she bought exact same one. No prob.She posted photo on fb and I commented nice top wonder where u got it or similar. She didn't even like the comment.

Why would anyone like such a petty, passive aggressive comment??? She didn't rise to your bait, and rightly so.

Honestly, OP, the more you post the clearer it becomes that you are the issue here, not your sisters. But it's also clear that you're never going to see/accept that and will ignore every single piece of advice you get because it doesn't fit in with your narrative.

I honestly think the mods would be best off just locking this thread, tbh. You don't want advice, you just want to rant.

Big Bag of Chips

Read your last 2 posts. At 7:28 you said that your sister texted you at 6 about the DVD. You replied saying see you at 8. Then she was "blatantly" ignoring you and "obviously" didn't want you there. 10 minutes later she had replied and it was all organised.

Can you not see how you imagine your own scenarios? You write your own story in your head about what your sisters think and want. And even when your sisters prove you wrong you still have to look for fault.

You are the problem, OP, but you can't see that or accept it. There is a very good chance that your sisters maybe do avoid you in certain circumstances, but it seems they have good reason to. To be honest, at family functions where I want to relax and enjoy myself I'd avoid your negativity and paranoia too. You're part of a large family. Their lives do not, and cannot revolve around you. They will suit themselves (as most people do) if you can join them, great. If not, it doesn't matter. Same goes for each of them. They will make arrangements to suit themselves and the majority, and it's up to others to fit in to that.

Your sisters will never do enough in your eyes. You will always pick holes and find fault. Even where there is none.

Meauldsegosha

Rain111 wrote: »

I am the one that drives the farthest for everything.

Probably because you live the furthest away!

OP in your posts you come across as someone who loves to complain and always looks for the negative in situation. Nothing any poster says or anything your family do can change that, you need to take responsibility for your actions and attitude.

Neyite

Mod:
Rain111, your last post will not be approved.

Using the shield of the anonymous posting function to take a swipe at another poster is a breach of charter, and a serious one at that.

If you have an issue with a post or a poster, report it and let the mods deal with it.

DaeryssaOne

OP from the fact that you have mentioned about driving and living 3 hours from home I can gather that you are in fact over the age of 14 but they are the only clues I have that you are not actually an emotional teenager.
You seem to be hyper-sensitive and paranoid to the point of obsession with everything your sisters say and do. Maybe you need to invest your interests elsewhere - start a new hobby or something and then they may want to include you in conversations.

You're trying to make out that your sister doesn't want to be seen with you in public because she's shallow and doesn't like your appearance but you know yourself that it's none of those things. Your sister isn't being shallow she just doesn't want to chat to somebody who is obviously watching everything they say to see if they can then pick a fight out of it / get upset and sulk.

I hope I don't sound harsh but you really need to grow up and realise that your sisters have their own lives and you need to stop spending so much time obsessing about them - their worlds don't revolve around you and they don't spend their time plotting how to annoy you - you do all this on your own.

witchgirl26

Rain111 wrote: »

Update.
Sis that got married texted at 6.Watching wedding dvd Fri afternoon /eve.Now she knows I work till 6 on a Friday and I live almost 3 hrs away.



So I text back great see you at 8:).She is blatantly ignoring this text.
Now why text if u only want certain ppl to go i.e all.sisters apart from me.

OP I think you're reading way too much into this. I'm invited to certain things by my family that they know I can't make due to work or other commitments but they still invite me so that if I do happen to be free, I know I'm welcome.

Would you have preferred she not invite you? And honestly that reply of yours is not exactly grown up or respectful either. If I got that reply back, I'd be ignoring it too. Why did you just say "that's a shame, I wouldn't be able to get there before 8, any chance of a repeat showing some other time?".

And how are you so sure that Saturday would suit everyone she's asked? Yes it suits you better but maybe Friday was a compromise as she, or others she's asked, are busy on Saturday and you might be the only one not able to make Friday. It sucks but it doesn't all revolve around you and if you're the only 1 not able to make it, it's a compromise.

You need to stop thinking everything is an insult, a dig. I've been there & thought everything was a criticism and to be honest it's so tiring. I just let it go.

zoobizoo

What do your friends think of the whole thing?