House share toilet rules?

bodhrandude · 07-05-2017 10:51pm

Just put up a new sign 'If its brown flush it down, if its yellow keep it mellow.'

retro:electro · 07-05-2017 11:01pm

fussyonion wrote: »

While we're on the ol' toilet topic, there's nothing worse than hearing someone having a good ol' sh*te when you're trying to sleep.

Had a relative stay over a few months back and their clattering about early one morning woke me.

They were in the bathroom and (now do excuse my vulgarity but I am trying to make you see things could be a LOT worse, OP) I could hear them having a sh*te.

I could hear the farts echoing around the bowl, the wet squelches and the PLOP.

I was horrified and this bowel expelling went for several minutes.
This person also never opened the window so when I had to use the toilet after, my nostrils were assaulted by the stench.

Could be worse, OP.
Could be a lot worse.

I can't tell you how hard I laughed at this!

Samuel T. Cogley · 07-05-2017 11:41pm

jester77 wrote: »

Invest in an outhouse.

And go live in it!

DrPhilG · 08-05-2017 12:16am

fussyonion wrote: »

This person also never opened the window so when I had to use the toilet after, my nostrils were assaulted by the stench.

And therein lies the solution for the op.

Take a huge shyte in the problematic bog before bed, close the window and let it stew.

When the roommate heads to the bog for their noisy piss, they'll be driven back by the stink of your log.

greencap · 08-05-2017 12:21am

Ooh1985 wrote: »

Is it unreasonable to ask your housemate to refrain from drinking tea/water before bed as toilet use beside my room wakes me up and could be awake for an hour at a time?

If they're male I suggest a pissbottle.

I have a pissbottle.

Its fantastic. I lie in bed and piss into it. I don't even get up. I just lie there and piss into my pissbottle.

Innocent smoothies bottles are great for use as piss bottles because they have a wide opening for a fat penis like mine.

RayM · 08-05-2017 1:15am

I live alone, but I still get woken up every morning between 4 and 5, when the people in the flat above invite what can only be a racehorse in for a pee.

shanered · 08-05-2017 1:28am

Taking the piss has never felt so right to say so I will savior this moment for a moment.

TrustedApple · 08-05-2017 6:21am

I had a crazy housemate after every time I pee or poo in the loo she went in with rubber gloves and cleaned the seat with bleach and when she had to use it she would but a strange plastic thing over it.

Also she wonted to ban loo roll and replace then with wet wipes only. I wish there Wasint a fight about this.

Also she used to hide all the knives and forks in her press so I could not eat my dinner ....

When she moved out she rubbed the hover bag inside the hover, knives forks you name !!!!.

Winterlong · 08-05-2017 8:23am

TrustedApple wrote: »

Also she wonted to ban loo roll and replace then with wet wipes only.

Must have been some crack in that house!

greencap · 08-05-2017 10:14am

TrustedApple wrote: »

I had a crazy housemate after every time I pee or poo in the loo she went in with rubber gloves and cleaned the seat with bleach and when she had to use it she would but a strange plastic thing over it.

Also she wonted to ban loo roll and replace then with wet wipes only. I wish there Wasint a fight about this.

Also she used to hide all the knives and forks in her press so I could not eat my dinner ....

When she moved out she rubbed the hover bag inside the hover, knives forks you name !!!!.

love psycho flatmate stories.

TrustedApple · 08-05-2017 10:32am

greencap wrote: »

love psycho flatmate stories.

The best was one night I had one of the lads over for pre drinks where students ha. WE left i think 6 beer bottles on the table in the sitting room.

She knocked on my door at 7am to give out to me about the beer bottles and scream at me over it. Jeses its going to be cleaned when i get up ha.

y0ssar1an22 · 08-05-2017 10:34am

i dont drink tea/coffee after about 9pm cos it results in me having to piss in the middle of the night. its not bred out of consideration for my room mates, but the hassle of the jacks in the middle of the night.

fair play to yer one for persevering, must really like her tea.