Do you care about all your family members?

willmunny1990

I suppose im on about extended family really as in cousins, aunts, uncles and the like, I can't say I do tbh.

I see it a lot, people putting so much emphasis on family when I know some hardly ever talk or see each other from one day to the next. I have friends that I would care more about than most family members if im honest and the idea of this shocked some people I was talking to the other day. I'll be honest about it, I don't see or talk to most of my cousins or extended family so how can I really care about them, we have no connection, no bond, nothing.

An incident occurred a while back where a close friend of mine died and a bunch of his cousins carried the coffin, people who I Know he rarely ever spoke to and who wouldn't give him the time of day when he was alive, I just found it very insincere, as if this was a platform for them to be seen as chief mourners and revel in the attention and sympathy they got.

I couldn't do it to anyway and I wouldn't like to think a bunch of people I hardly ever spoke to got to carry me out just because they're "family".

Anyway that aside what do you think? Do you believe in all blood is thicker than water?

Loveinapril

I like some of my cousins but don't know the majority of them. I have close to 70 first cousins. A lot of them would live close to each other and are good friends but they just wouldn't be for me. I will make small talk when I see them and have a few on Facebook but that's as far as it goes. I wouldn't be friends with them in real life so having related parents doesn't force that.

bear1

Nope, couldn't give a rats arse about most of them.

harry Bailey esq

I always make a big fuss over the sick elderly ones

LirW

No, I have like 9 living relatives and 4 of them are insane. I really mean it, horrible people.

Spanish Eyes

Immediate family as in Mam, (Dad gone sadly), siblings and nieces and nephews for sure. After that it's only at hatches matches and dispatches really that we see the rest of them i.e. cousins etc. TBH.

Lives can go off in different directions.

greencap

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bgds3lHS1YQ

darkdubh

A lot of Irish people only show an interest in their relatives when they're dead.

SureYWouldntYa

darkdubh wrote: »

A lot of Irish people only show an interest in their relatives when they're dead.

When they're alive they're around like they always have been and it seems like they always will be

Then they're not

Sometimes you don't appreciate someone til they're gone

pq0n1ct4ve8zf5

Yeah. Come from a big, close, very involved extended family. I really like it, found it headwrecking when I was a teenager though, and I'm glad my immediate family unit is small enough.

I'm going to my second cousin's naming ceremony next month, there'll be a pig on a spit and fairy lights and sh1t. Other family events would be more like something from EastEnders. It's nice to have a spread of types of family!

There are a couple of distant relatives I've not even met, but they were bad uns by all accounts. The rest really are all sound, I totally get why people would have less to do with the family when there's issues like that.

everlast75

You can chose your friends but you can't chose your family.

Most are very decent people in mine anyway

please helpThank YOU

When the ****e hits the fan that is when you know who your family are?.

zmgakt7uw2dvfs

Mother, father, grandparents, brother, yes. Could take or leave the sister if I'm honest. I am very fond of a few aunts as well.

Used to be very close to some of my first cousins when we were ages 3-9 or so. Then we started to drift apart. One or two of them are unbelievably obnoxious and dismissive of me now. I'd be on cordial terms with several others but never connect unless there's a gathering of some sort.

Noo

willmunny1990 wrote: »

Anyway that aside what do you think? Do you believe in all blood is thicker than water?

Look up the true meaning of that saying and you'll get your answer.

Teyla Emmagan

Yeah, close enough. There aren't that many of us, cousins wise. And only one branch of the family are mental so we're not so bad. My Granny is old (95 next week) and has all these great nephews who call in to see her all the time. Would cheer anyone up to see that level of support and care.

Lollipops23

I'd be pretty close with a lot of my extended family- I have some cousins that would be like sisters to me.
I have several other cousins that would be perfect strangers to me. Like may not recognise then walking down the street.

_Kaiser_

Nope, not really. Both my parents are dead, so just me and my sister left and we get on OK in small doses.

Mam was very sick for years which took its toll on her and the relationship with us, but towards the end things had gotten better (paradoxically). My oul fella wasn't in the picture most of my life so no loss there, although his father was ironically far better to us, despite the stories of how my father was useless, didn't help out etc (although knowing my mam who knows what the full story was).

As for mam's side.. well leaving aside the "eccentric" (to put it nicely) sister, when mam died she had arranged that her parents would take care of the arrangements (ever practical my mother, which has rubbed off on me - a bit too much sometimes) but they didn't have the decency to let me and my sister know the details - my sister had to find out from a friend who saw it on rip.ie. When confronted, our grandmother played the grieving parent to a tee, but it was all for the benefit of the local village. Our grandfather is one of those sort who's powerless in the relationship but a big deal locally.. stll, the one plus is that we haven't heard from any of them since the funeral.

Still, there is one bright spot to this dark tale and that'd be my 5 year old son. I always told myself that if I ever had kids, they'd have the family I didn't, and that's definitely true. I don't get to see him as much as I'd like (again those practicalities mean I live/work 250km away) but we have a great relationship and he gives the best hugs He actually got annoyed at the weekend as he'd asked about my dad and I told him one of the nicer memories, and he got annoyed because "your daddy isn't as nice as my daddy"

Aglomerado

Not really. My immediate family, absolutely. I'd do anything for them.

Extended family not so much. Relationships fell apart after grandparents died so lost touch with many cousins. I wish them well but I don't need to be part of their lives solely because of shared DNA.

I've a few incredibly nosy and narcissistic aunts and uncles as well so I give those a wide berth. I harbour no ill-will towards them though.

Lady is a tramp

Extended family - I don't think I'm close to any of them. It's nothing personal, just mostly a geographical thing ... we didn't grow up near to them and only saw any of them a couple of times a year. Less now that we're all older. They seem grand though, I've loads of first cousins and we're friends on Facebook etc, that's about the height of it.

Immediate family - I've a large family, six siblings, and both parents still around. Some of my siblings I'm closer to than others, I probably only see some of them once or twice a year and know very little about them. I love them because they're my family, and I certainly would hate to see anything bad happen to any of them. But there are certainly other people in "real life" who I am not related to but with whom I am in contact with a lot more, and who I trust and know a lot more, than some members of my immediate family.

qo2cj1dsne8y4k

The ones I know, I care about. I wouldn't like anything bad to happen to any of them though, and feel sad for them if I hear anything is going wrong for them.

pragmatic1

please helpThank YOU wrote: »

When the ****e hits the fan that is when you know who your family are?.

Yep, and they're not always blood related either.

Parchment

I care about my immediate family - parents and sibling, grandparents and a few of my cousins/aunts on my mothers side. Thats it really.

pragmatic1

Very large extended family. Not close with many of them, but if they were in trouble I'd do as much as I could for them. Sister is a complete user and manipulative, but she's still blood so same applies to her and the brother and their kids.

maximoose

Don't really see Aunts/Uncles/Cousins outside of Weddings and Funerals these days. Get on with nearly all of them but that's about it.

Ma was one of 11, 5 of which moved to the USA before I was born so have a heap of cousins I've never met.

Only time the extended family matters is when someone brings up claims to fame.

Lau2976

I care about my parents, sisters and grandparents. I can tolerate some aunts and cousins. I only see them once every two years, if even that tbh.

The rest of them are ****ing cnuts who I wouldnt piss on if they were on fire. My only hope for them
Is that if they are ever in the public eye that people I know don't link me to them. Or preferably they would all go like in isolation on an island far far away from other people where they can't do any more harm.

Rubberlegs

I only have my mother, sister and niece apart from my own children. One side of the family are in England, and some of them visit sometimes. We didn't grow up around each other so there wouldn't be any real closeness there. The other side of the family here in Ireland may as well not exist, I haven't met or spoken to any of them in over 3 years. To be honest I imagine the only contact will be a call one day to say my parent's only sibling has died. I would feel awkward even going to the funeral at this stage. I always imagined it must be really nice to have cousins to play with growing up, family get togethers etc.

andekwarhola

Am close to a few cousins that I stayed friends with since childhood but gradually lost touch with most the others.

One of the nice things about social media is that I've come into in contact with a lot of them again so I can see how they're getting on on a low key basis without much effort.

osarusan

Immediate family, sure.

More distant relatives, much less so. Nothing wrong with them, we just don't know each other well or see each other often.

please helpThank YOU

I know of family members who look down on each other as Lower Class . but the all come from the same grandmother and grandfather .