Work issue

Ande1975

I know this might be better suited to work and jobs but I am hoping this forum will do the job for me ....
I need advice on how to manage a work issue. A bit of background, I've worked hard in my career to get to very senior roles. I have a lot of experience in a particular area and I've done well out of it. I've since moved back to my home town and was hired in the job that I always wanted. I am very fortunate.
The issue is, someone who I am 'friends' with got a job in this company about 6 months before me. She has a very close relationship with the manager of this team (a woman). My friend needed support on this project and I was hired as a contractor to do this. The project was successful (not due to her work but the actual team around her) and I gained a perm position out of it. Very lucky and happy.
Since I have become perm she has decided to get more experience in my area and has become very territorial about it. She isn't the most competent and was quite happy to be carried by the team around her. She blatantly refused to give me contacts and when I reached out she got mad. My sense is that she knows I could succeed in this area and wants to be part of it to feather her own agenda but previously in the conversations that we have had she has admitted to not knowing anything. I am at a loss as to how to manage her (she is a bully) and move on with what I've been asked to do by senior management. Essentially, how do I prevent her (again) from getting credit for the work I do!

zoobizoo

At the start of the project, lay out what each team member is responsible for, put it in writing, put deadlines beside the tasks and have weekly meetings..... (if this is not done already, suggest it to management).

Then at the progress meetings ask generally how everyone is getting on...

If she is falling behind it will be obvious to everyone.

In a situation like what happened before, where you asked her for contacts and she refused to hand them over - don't do that verbally, put it in an email. If needs be CC the boss.

Ande1975

Thank you Zoobizoo for your response. This project is essentially my baby but you are right. I'll document everything and minute everything and it will become obvious (I hope) that she is just piggy backing.
I've decided to ignore her email as she has told me nothing. The sad thing is, I always liked her but since working with her I've realised how much of a volatile bully she has become.
Working with friends in some cases should come with a health warning.

I Am_Not_Ice

You just have to learn to compartmentalize the situation: This is your career - your livelihood - not your social life. To put it frankly, you need to show her who's boss. Friend or not, you have to make it plain that you're not going to be steamrolled by anyone, even her.

witchgirl26

Zoobizoo is right, document everything and make sure that even if things are agreed verbally that it's followed up with a friendly email like "just to confirm what we discussed...". It's the best of handling the situation should you need to show proof of work.

I've dealt with a similar situation and it is really tough. Do you still see this "friend" outside work? How is the relationship there? Maybe try to cut it down if you're finding her harder to deal with so that it doesn't affect your social life and your work life. But only if that's a possibility without causing more hassle.

Sometimes people like to be a bit superior and maybe she thought that she could be with her being in the company longer and is jealous about your advancement.

Just make sure you don't say anything that could be perceived as nasty or mean about her (emphasis on perceived, if she feels backed into a corner, she might try to use anything) to anyone in the office so that your not looked at in a bad light. You almost have to be whiter than white when working with people like that.

Ande1975

witchgirl26 wrote: »

Zoobizoo is right, document everything and make sure that even if things are agreed verbally that it's followed up with a friendly email like "just to confirm what we discussed...". It's the best of handling the situation should you need to show proof of work.

I've dealt with a similar situation and it is really tough. Do you still see this "friend" outside work? How is the relationship there? Maybe try to cut it down if you're finding her harder to deal with so that it doesn't affect your social life and your work life. But only if that's a possibility without causing more hassle.

Sometimes people like to be a bit superior and maybe she thought that she could be with her being in the company longer and is jealous about your advancement.

Just make sure you don't say anything that could be perceived as nasty or mean about her (emphasis on perceived, if she feels backed into a corner, she might try to use anything) to anyone in the office so that your not looked at in a bad light. You almost have to be whiter than white when working with people like that.

Thanks for that. Good to know I'm not alone in this.
We don't see each other socially at all. I find her hard going at the best of times (very strong personality) so I keep away from her as much as I can now. I'm trying to etch out a name for myself separate to her and I can see her trying to get in front of anything I am involved in.
I made a mistake of telling her too much before so I'm keeping my counsel to myself now.
You are right, I have to rise above all this and be as perfect as I possibly can.
I can see she isn't well liked in the company but she is protected so I'm trying to distance myself as much as possible.