Maintanence Query

Myboydanny

Hi there im looking for some advice here. Myself and the ex girlfriend broke up a few months ago and we have a son who is nearly 1. I earn 45,000 euro before tax and my ex earns 50,000 euro before tax. We have agreed on 200 euro a month for maintanence a month but as we both work we will have to get a child minder. Right now her mother is looking after my son during the week and she charges us 40 euro a day(pretty sure she dosent charge her) so that works out some months between 400 and 500 euro on top of the 200 maintanence which ive been paying the mother for the past 6 months cause my ex is back in work. I had to rent my own 1 bed apartment so i can have him stay over 2 nights a week. I pay 1000 rent and with bills, cridet union loans and paying for my son im really struggling to get by monthly. Am i paying too much?? If so what can i do? Im afraid of my like she well take access away if i even bring up money!! Would love some input guys.

Thanks

Call me Al

Can i just say the childcare cost is exorbitant.
€80 perday if you're paying half!
To mind one child. Wow.

Myboydanny

She charges 40 euro a day so its supposed to be 20 each per day. Im pretty sure her mother is not charging her so im paying the half of 40 a day. She has him 5 days a week so it works out around 400 to 500 euro depending on how many days are in the month.

Jesus Shaves

Get onto a solicitor and go to court for access and let the judge sort out Maintainance, you may end up paying a lot less than you are now

January

50 euro per week in maintenance is not exorbitant, to be honest.

Myboydanny

Yes i know, its not the maintanence ive a problem with, its the childcare that i pay the mother aslo. means im paying 600 to 700 euro a month all in!! just cant afford it, ive had to work as much overtime as i can in work to get by but the overtime wont always be there.

January

Myboydanny wrote: »

Yes i know, its not the maintanence ive a problem with, its the childcare that i pay the mother aslo. means im paying 600 to 700 euro a month all in!! just cant afford it, ive had to work as much overtime as i can in work to get by but the overtime wont always be there.

Be lucky that you only have to pay that much towards childcare... if she was at a childminder or a creche it could be much more.

cristali

Maintenance is an agreed amount between parents or court, you're paying way too much. Normally for only one child maintenence is max €300 a month and that includes childcare too. Access to see your child has nothing to do with maintenence..my point is you're paying way too much. I'm a single mother and I get maintenance from my son's father through court and I pay for childcare because is my choice to work full time, he doesn't pay extra for childcare just school books, uniform etc that divides between us. Contact a solicitor and have a chat about this

jlm29

It depends where you are in the country really. Do you know what the going rate is for childminders? A few of my friends have parents minding a child full time, and they're paying €20-€25/day to their parents. If your MIL is saying she is looking for €40, that would be more than a crèche in my local town would charge for full time hours. But if you're in a city, that's cheap. It's all relative really!

mitresize5

if your not based in Dublin then 200 a week for child care is too much

cbyrd

Tbh, your best option is to get a legal access and maintenance order. This cuts out the bull.
Maintenance is usually a sum paid to cover all the above. Extra for Christmas, birthdays and back to school can be included. It doesn't have to be a contentious issue. You can go for mediation and have it hammered out there (with a referee so to speak) and then get it rubber stamped in court. This means both your views are taken into account.
If you wanted you could ask for receipts and please make sure anything you pay is accounted for. If you do end up in court and you have no proof of payment you can be made back pay maintenance even though you're paying.

Rosemary 10

I'd stay clear of the courts if I where you ...my ex brang me to court and I ended up getting €150 a week

jimmycrackcorm

Rosemary 10 wrote:

I'd stay clear of the courts if I where you ...my ex brang me to court and I ended up getting €150 a week

It depends on circumstances because effectively both parties being equal that means the child is costing 1300 per month (2x650).

So imagine what the cost would be if there were three or four children. It makes the figure of 150 pw sound out of kilter.

Dravokivich

January wrote: »

50 euro per week in maintenance is not exorbitant, to be honest.

It all depends on what it's going on and what they are currently doing doesn't seem right. Both parents appear to be able to support themselves for the child. There may be very little need for maintenance in this matter. My perception of the current arrangement is for the most part he's essentially paying his ex-partners mother an allowence.

Rosemary 10 wrote: »

I'd stay clear of the courts if I where you ...my ex brang me to court and I ended up getting €150 a week

Why is that a problem? It's better for both parents to have a court order that clearly lays out expectations and obligations. Especially when you are looking for additional DSP payments such as Family Income Supplement. They expect to see court orders when applying as a single parent.