My First Poem - Quiet

BlueAndWh1te

There is an understated beauty to the suburban landscape
Take a walk at 3 in the morning and you’ll see exactly what I mean
Streets that will be filled with activity in just a few hours are barren, peaceful
The only sounds being your footsteps and breath
The world is asleep but yet you are not.

You experience a different side of normality
The built up landscape at it’s most basic level
The closest thing to silence achievable in suburbia

It’s a bizarre feeling knowing that 95% of houses you see are full
but still don’t make a sound
Families all laid in bed dreaming of bizarre tales and horrific experiences
Any window you look in could be home to a human being at their most vulnerable

I encourage you to try it
Stay up and experience a place that you recognise but
at the same time is completely foreign.

No cars, no people, no politics
Just the modern world stripped down.

Masterofballs

BlueAndWh1te wrote: »

There is an understated beauty to the suburban landscape
Take a walk at 3 in the morning and you’ll see exactly what I mean
Streets that will be filled with activity in just a few hours are barren, peaceful
The only sounds being your footsteps and breath
The world is asleep but yet you are not.

You experience a different side of normality
The built up landscape at it’s most basic level
The closest thing to silence achievable in suburbia

It’s a bizarre feeling knowing that 95% of houses you see are full
but still don’t make a sound
Families all laid in bed dreaming of bizarre tales and horrific experiences
Any window you look in could be home to a human being at their most vulnerable

Really like that line.

I encourage you to try it
Stay up and experience a place that you recognise but
at the same time is completely foreign.

No cars, no people, no politics
Just the modern world stripped down.

Really like that line.

Insect Overlord

I like it, but it seems to work better as a quiet reflection or a short piece of prose. It's very good writing, but it doesn't feel like poetry to me.

There isn't really a sense of rhythm or rhyme to it, apart from the opening line the the closing lines.

There's one typo in line 7 (it's should be its) but everything else is solid.

echo beach

Insect Overlord wrote: »

I like it, but it seems to work better as a quiet reflection or a short piece of prose. It's very good writing, but it doesn't feel like poetry to me.

My feelings exactly.
It is worth reading it aloud a few times to see if you could change it around a bit to get a rhythm or flow. For a first attempt the use of language is very well done. Do keep working at it. There is real potential.