Couples splitting rent

syndrome777

If anything if you were fine without the extra bits that you are paying now( broadband, sky....) he should at least cover that, IMHO

SusieBlue

We split 50/50 but would be on similar income. However, he has more of his personal expenses taken care of by his employer (company car, phone and health insurance) whereas I pay for all of those expenses myself.
However, its been decided that when we have children I'll be quitting my job to stay at home until the child is aged 4 (ish) and we will be surviving off of his income. I'm not sure if this will be before or after marriage.

I agree that your OH should be covering the extras such as the Sky etc. seeing as they're his home comforts. I can understand your reluctance to ask him to cover more of the rent because I too would feel like I was asking for a handout (even though you totally aren't) but maybe asking him to take on one or two of those bills by himself would be preferable.
Maybe point out to him that you never had those bills in your old place and didn't really budget for them, so would it be possible to either get rid or have him take on the bill on his own? I don't think its an unreasonable request tbh.

witchgirl26

We split everything 50/50 as we both earn similar salaries. We did talk about changing that should 1 of us earn significantly more than the other but that it would only be in relation to rent itself and bills and food would be still be 50/50.

OP if you think the Sky etc is causing a drain on your savings, would it not be worth having the conversation about maybe getting rid of these? Looking at how much you use them realistically and seeing if they could be cut. My O/H is all for getting rid of Sky but I love it so I've offered to cover the cost of it myself as he doesn't use it.

I don't think it says anything about the seriousness of your relationship at all tbh.

unknowngirl!!

We split the rent 50:50. OH pays all bills and I pay for the food.

However, that being said we have a very casual agreement and if one of us has an unforeseen expense during the month the other pays more rent. For example, we are expecting our first baby in August and I just bought the cot and other baby things so my OH said not to transfer any money for rent this month.

It's very natural and we both know that ultimately everything is coming out of the same pot so it doesn't really matter who pays for what.

cefh17

I'll be moving in with my GF in the coming weeks, first time not living at home or house sharing with friends and we'll be doing it 50/50 even though I earn quite a bit more. What kind of balances it out for me is that I'll be moving further away from work as opposed to a ten minute walk and commuting at least an hour each way, whereas she'll be a short walk to work. It all comes down to the situation and what the people themselves come to an agreement on

DavyD_83

If you go on as you are, is it going to be an issue if/when you get to mortgage situation, if you are unable to contribute as much as he can for the deposit?

It sounds like you really need to just discuss it; the only fair way to arrange it is the way that you both agree on.
I also think that these sort of conversations and arrangements are a pretty good indicator of how compatible you are long term in terms of your financial views.
I could never have lived with and then married my girlfriend, now wife if we had completely different outlooks on this stuff, as it is inevitably going to be a regular source of tension.
Ours has always been 50/50 with a bit of give and take when either was earning more. My wife is now staying home with kids (which I am delighted about), so I'm covering all costs for the foreseeable. And I definitively don't think that the fact I will be earning all the money, gives me any greater ownership of, or entitlement to that money.

Like dating, and wondering if it is normal to split dinner/drinks costs 50/50, or for man to pay everything or greater share.
If a couple have directly opposing views, it isn't very workable.
But if you both agree anywhere on the spectrum, then happy days.

pwurple

As you're asking for experiences, we did it a this way... and this is looking back 20 years ago now, but anyway.

First place we lived together, I paid the rent, and he paid the bills... it came out roughly the same, but I was building up a credit history with a view to a mortgage. We kept our savings separately. I bought a small place with my savings, he rented a room off me for a few years. Then he bought a slightly bigger place with his savings, we lived in that and let the other out. Then we saved like billyo and bought a decent size place together, both now with our history of paying down mortgages. Then we got married, had kids etc, and the story continued.

But that was the general plan at the start, if you get me. Give or take a year or two, and various changes in jobs, we generally stuck to the jist of the original aim. I've always been a fan of the ten year masterplan, which can be adjusted as needed, and so was he, so it worked for us.

Parchment

Murrisk wrote: »

They don't necessarily work harder though. If the relationship proceeds to marriage this is a recipe for disaster.

I dont agree with this - what changes when you get married?

I am in a long term relationship - most people would be married at this stage but we have chosen not to. If we were married finances would carry on the same.

Colonel Panic

60:40 with me paying the greater amount.

sashafierce

This post has been deleted.

baby and crumble

We put a proportional amount of money into a joint account that covers mortgage and bills and food. Proportional because my partners income in a good 30-40% higher than mine at the moment, so to split 50/50 really wouldn't be fair. We've both agreed that.

When I was working and she was struggling to find work, I put way way more in. Likewise a few years back when I couldn't find a job for love nor money, she paid more.

It all balances, but whatever you do don't let it fester. If you do that you'll get stuck in your head and get resentful. Personally, I'd love to be able to put more towards the bills etc but I can't afford it right now. Hopefully that'll change in a few years as I move up in my career. And this time next year we might be on one income, who knows any more?

GingerLily

Until my and my OH got engaged it was always 50:50 for rent, gas and electricity. I used to earn moderately more so would buy the steak dinners etc. the luxuries he couldn't afford but made sure it was equal for the basics!
When I got a pay increase I took on the entire UPC bill as a way to balance out the bills and kept up buying more of the luxuries e.g. trips to IKEA, big meals out
Now we're engaged we have a joint account and we both give 70% of our take home into that and it covers bills, rent, savings and holidays. It's the fairest way we could come up with!