Do men bother approaching women anymore?

SGSM

Widdershins wrote:

I'm not sure either what acting dangerous would involve but it sounds gob****ey?

So actually dangerous......Pablo Escobar was very dangerous. That kinda way?

Widdershins

One eyed Jack wrote: »

Just sayin'

Not so much impulsive as responsive. I'll leave it at that, I sense it's getting really boring

Wibbs

Widdershins wrote: »

True. Oh, I wouldn't have gone for him

Yeah, you're more a Vlad the Impaler kinda gal.

Will someone please tell me why this is considered so weird/bad?

I don't think it weird at all TBH. As per usual I have a theory(tm)... Broadly speaking it boils down to this: Modern humans are "domesticated" versions of previous humans and it is women - being the more active choosers - who have domesticated the human race. On that basis alone a "Bad boy" is a red rag to a bull for the psyche for many women, particularly younger women(many of whom go through that phase). He's "wild", untamed, undomesticated and needs the love of a good woman to bring him into the human fold. Women's fantasies/literature is chock full of the wild Heathcliff type character. And full of the nice but kinda boring other man in her life. Look at Lady Chatterly's lover. Her married to a vastly wealthy man of high social position, but tamed, sickly. She shags the wild gardener. Mills and Boon wouldn't survive without this archetypal hero and the heroine that "saves him". And those books are universal, translated into damn near every language on the planet.

Plus Bad Boys flip the script. Particularly for a woman who has lots of choice and men constantly vying for her attention. The guy who is meh, whatever in her presence while being socially engaging is intriguing. They're also outliers, different from the norm. If all you have is a conveyer belt of beige a little bright red that comes into view is damned attractive. And let's face it, quite the number of women love emotional stimulation, even of the bad sort, so long as it's stimulating. A guy who keeps her guessing and flipping from one emotion to another is attractive. Quite simply, they're not boring. For a time anyway.

"Dangerous" men are again outliers and that hint of danger is interesting and if that danger is coupled with a protective vibe, that's catnip for many and for very good reasons.

Bad Boys appear confident, internally realised men too. I say appear. This is a very attractive trait. Both men and women will respond to that.

Wibbs

SGSM wrote: »

So actually dangerous......Pablo Escobar was very dangerous. That kinda way?

I don't think you get this at all SG. She's not talking pyscho murderer types. Well with Widder, maybe she is.

SGSM

Wibbs wrote:

I don't think you get this at all SG. She's not talking pyscho murderer types. Well with Widder, maybe she is.

I'm so lost lol what is she after?

pumpkin4life

SGSM wrote: »

I'm so lost lol what is she after?

Men with the ability and the capacity to be violent to other men, not necessarily the act itself. Alan the Accountant who grew up in Ranelagh and who has never been in a fight in his life doesn't have that ability, whereas middle aged ugly lads like Nidge (tv show I know) are attractive to good looking twenty year old wans because they have the ability to destroy and murder and dominate other men if they wanted to.

buzzinfly83

What about dangerous women. Is there a market for them?

Tell me how

Wibbs wrote:

Neither groups particularly appeal** but gun to my head I'd pick the PUA men far more over the MGTOW. I will always respect a man who actively tries to change, even if it's a change I might not buy into, over any man who actively tries to stay mired in the status quo and give excuses why he does so.

I'd agree with this if it wasn't tied in to the purpose of "getting" a mate.

It's in the name; Pick Up Artist, be a lot less dubious if it was clear the focus was improving men generally, possibly with a focus on social interactions including other men and platonic relationships, not just those you are attracted to.

SGSM

pumpkin4life wrote:

Men with the ability and the capacity to be violent to other men, not necessarily the act itself. Alan the Accountant who grew up in Ranelagh and who has never been in a fight in his life doesn't have that ability, whereas middle aged ugly lads like Nidge (tv show I know) are attractive to good looking twenty year old wans because they have the ability to destroy and murder and dominate other men if they wanted to.

Ah ok, I get ya. That's just re-enforcing the point that a lot of women just pick dicks cos I doubt the 'dangerous' ones treat their partners very well.

Bambi985

Don't get the attraction to "danger" tbh. Maybe it's a mixture of alpha male combined with the generous dose of drama that a man like that will inevitably bring. Some younger women especially can love the drama of it all.

If I was on a date and a guy even mentioned any hint of a criminal background my brain would immediately land at "trouble" and "scumbag" depending on the gravity and I'd be out there like a shot.

Also if we're talking about caveman psychology and the biology of it all from that perspective I just wouldn't feel safe or secure with a man prone to violence and criminality. I'd be thinking about the years of bullsh1t ahead and how my name and my future kids could be dragged through the mud because of him. Makes no sense to me whatsoever.

Widdershins

Wibbs wrote: »

Yeah, you're more a Vlad the Impaler kinda gal.

I don't think it weird at all TBH. As per usual I have a theory(tm)... Broadly speaking it boils down to this: Modern humans are "domesticated" versions of previous humans and it is women - being the more active choosers - who have domesticated the human race. On that basis alone a "Bad boy" is a red rag to a bull for the psyche for many women, particularly younger women(many of whom go through that phase). He's "wild", untamed, undomesticated and needs the love of a good woman to bring him into the human fold. Women's fantasies/literature is chock full of the wild Heathcliff type character. And full of the nice but kinda boring other man in her life. Look at Lady Chatterly's lover. Her married to a vastly wealthy man of high social position, but tamed, sickly. She shags the wild gardener. Mills and Boon wouldn't survive without this archetypal hero and the heroine that "saves him". And those books are universal, translated into damn near every language on the planet.

Plus Bad Boys flip the script. Particularly for a woman who has lots of choice and men constantly vying for her attention. The guy who is meh, whatever in her presence while being socially engaging is intriguing. They're also outliers, different from the norm. If all you have is a conveyer belt of beige a little bright red that comes into view is damned attractive. And let's face it, quite the number of women love emotional stimulation, even of the bad sort, so long as it's stimulating. A guy who keeps her guessing and flipping from one emotion to another is attractive. Quite simply, they're not boring. For a time anyway.

"Dangerous" men are again outliers and that hint of danger is interesting and if that danger is coupled with a protective vibe, that's catnip for many and for very good reasons.

Bad Boys appear confident, internally realised men too. I say appear. This is a very attractive trait. Both men and women will respond to that.[/QUOTE]

Vlad the Impaler..getting warmer!
Thanks for that, I'm now too tired to make sense of it myself let alone explain it, but that rings true.

Oh, Pablo Escobar..depends what he was like in person. That type tend to be very nice to wives, girlfriends and mammies. I would be more likely to be friends with him than anything else.

SGSM

Widdershins wrote:

Oh, Pablo Escobar..depends what he was like in person. That type tend to be very nice to wives, girlfriends and mammies. I would be more likely to be friends with him than anything else.

Escobar cheated on his wife.......so that now must attract ya to him but that means he'll be cheating on you. Look now what ya have caused Widder lol

Widdershins

buzzinfly83 wrote: »

What about dangerous women. Is there a market for them?

Yes. I'm surprised anyone had to ask. Many men seem to like women who seem like they'd snap you in two and enjoy it.

On dangerous men/ ''scumbags'', I wouldn't be finding out their criminal record on a date 'cause I don't want to date nor marry them.

Yes to having the ability to do something evil, maybe more attractive because the ability/urge is contained. Nidge types are still unattractive though, imo.

SGSM

Widdershins wrote:

Yes to having the ability to do something evil, maybe more attractive because the ability/urge is contained. Nidge types are still unattractive though, imo.

What's something evil?

Widdershins

SGSM wrote: »

What's something evil?

I meant violent, tripping over my words tonight.

SGSM

So for example, if a guy hit another guy on the back of the head with a chair in a bar for no reason, that would attract you to him?

Wibbs

Tell me how wrote: »

I'd agree with this if it wasn't tied in to the purpose of "getting" a mate.

It's in the name; Pick Up Artist, be a lot less dubious if it was clear the focus was improving men generally, possibly with a focus on social interactions including other men and platonic relationships, not just those you are attracted to.

Well, let's face it for many young men "getting a mate", even basic female sexual/romantic contact is the focus. The difference between a friend and a romantic partner? Quite simply and ultimately; fucking. That's the brass tacks, where the rubber(s) meet the road right there.

Many would be men who already have platonic relationships and social interactions including other men working fine for them, but who couldn't get laid in a brothel running a free all you can eat buffet. What's the issue there? I can't see one. On the surface anyway.

So what if it's "manipulative"? On a very basic level all social and especially romantic/sexual encounters are just that. On both sides. For many, if not most men, they are operating in a "seller's market" and women set the "price" and are just as "manipulative".

IMHO one big kickback about the PUA stuff isn't that it's daft and doesn't work, but that it might not be that daft and it might work and that upsets the "market". So the artifice of makeup, Spanx, push up bras and measured coyness is OK, but the artifice of learning some methods to psychologically engage and improve a man's chances in the dating/mating milieu isn't?

Bambi985 wrote: »

Don't get the attraction to "danger" tbh.

Stop the presses! Women aren't a hive mind who all agree!. That's a major problem with the PUA and especially the MGTOW yahoos. They reduce Women(tm) to a process, something their Sheldon Cooper minds can somehow "fix" or "avoid".

Wibbs

SGSM wrote: »

So for example, if a guy hit another guy on the back of the head with a chair in a bar for no reason, that would attract you to him?

Good god Sir, how literal are you taking this? Her position on this seems pretty clear to me.

SGSM

Wibbs wrote:

Good god Sir, how literal are you taking this? Her position on this seems pretty clear to me.

I'm not a violent guy but if someone was to attack me, I'd defend myself. Is she attracted to a guy that seeks out violence for the sake of it? I don't know any fella who would be at that unless they are hammered drunk.

Widdershins

SGSM wrote: »

I'm not a violent guy but if someone was to attack me, I'd defend myself. Is she attracted to a guy that seeks out violence for the sake of it? I don't know any fella who would be at that unless they are hammered drunk.

I'll try again another time if this comes up again. All I can think of now is that I don't find heroics attractive in the same way as the sense of controlled badness, for want of a better description. To go into more detail would just confuse people more as, you said yourself, I have weird taste, and this is a bit personal.

I was originally trying to argue that the man who thought women prefer a man an ugly personality to a man with a decent nature, wasn't totally right.

SGSM

No worries Widdershins. In all seriousness, just look after yourself if ya do encounter any dangerous fellas.

pumpkin4life

Wibbs wrote: »

Well, let's face it for many young men "getting a mate", even basic female sexual/romantic contact is the focus. The difference between a friend and a romantic partner? Quite simply and ultimately; fucking. That's the brass tacks, where the rubber(s) meet the road right there.

Many would be men who already have platonic relationships and social interactions including other men working fine for them, but who couldn't get laid in a brothel running a free all you can eat buffet. What's the issue there? I can't see one. On the surface anyway.

So what if it's "manipulative"? On a very basic level all social and especially romantic/sexual encounters are just that. On both sides. For many, if not most men, they are operating in a "seller's market" and women set the "price" and are just as "manipulative".

IMHO one big kickback about the PUA stuff isn't that it's daft and doesn't work, but that it might not be that daft and it might work and that upsets the "market". So the artifice of makeup, Spanx, push up bras and measured coyness is OK, but the artifice of learning some methods to psychologically engage and improve a man's chances in the dating/mating milieu isn't?

Stop the presses! Women aren't a hive mind who all agree!. That's a major problem with the PUA and especially the MGTOW yahoos. They reduce Women(tm) to a process, something their Sheldon Cooper minds can somehow "fix" or "avoid".

To be honest, PUA seems to me like common sense and playing probabilities (if you approach enough women then you will get that one who likes you) dressed up in bonkers autism and twattiness; that people are these machines that work in an a/b/c manner. Women like different things, and water is wet. That's people 101, do these lads not get this?

People hate it because its to some degree degenerate, people don't like the idea of men maybe outperforming their looks/level in the dating market and as you said above that takes power out of the buyers in the buyers market, and some of it is simply snake oil; that you can get a polish supermodel by saying these lines, rather than becoming a man that women want to date or sleep with. Its nonsense of course.

Just from my own perspective i've just never liked approaching women because more often than not it becomes such a painfully cringey embarrassing experience and quite unnecessarily so. Its not so bad if you are far away from home but when you are local and you have to see the girl the next time you are out it is awkward as hell.

There just seems to be no right way to do it and even when the girl herself is grand you have her mate(s) sticking her/their oar in being a total b1tch. From my own experience i have found Irish women in particular just do not know how to flirt. Some appear desperate and the ones blessed with that bit more aesthetic feature can come across as grumpy and arrogant. Beauty is kind of wasted on them

And then there is the times you actually hit it off with someone on a night out and it is just so much hassle following up with them trying to get a date. The man has to do all the chasing but it is not clear what is too much interest and what is too little. On the odd time the woman will make a date she then gets flaky. You try to be as flexible and understanding as possible of their flakiness as much as possible and then you get ghosted all of a sudden :rolleyes:

I think we need a culture change. We are still in this old 'ballroom of romance' mindset. It would be great if people were more receptive to being approached in public places and sober. Perhaps there might be an app idea for that somewhere that might make the process easier?

Ubbquittious

Bambi985 wrote: »

That's as odd as turning up in a showy new lamborghini or something because you're so eager to impress. Why "test" someone like that on a first date, why not just go in and be yourself and trust yourself to pick up on any personality traits that are "off" or totally incompatible with your own?

Sure shallow women are annoying and repulsive (can't say I know many who'd give a shyte or even notice if their date was driving a 1991 car versus something newer and fancier, I didn't even know my OH drove until a few dates in), but what can be just as unattractive is a man so bitter and suspicious of women that he feels the need to set up little tests for them to determine whether or not they are 'genuine' enough, lol at the irony.

I'd say very few people are just themselves on a first date and go in completely non-judgemental. Most will put their best foot forward at least, sell themselves as being a bit better than they actually are, throw in a few fibs. It would be boring if everyone was like an open book on a first date. Takes away all the mystery.

I was just using the tried and tested method of fending people off who I had no interest in and wouldn't get along with anyway. Don't think I could live with a keep up with the Joneser long term no matter what other redeeming features they had. Not out of bitterness and it has the added benefit of reinforcing the fact that I don't give a feck.

greencap

Deleted User wrote: »

There just seems to be no right way to do it and even when the girl herself is grand you have her mate(s) sticking her/their oar in being a total b1tch.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BLT2erau3zo

RabbleRouser2k

Widdershins wrote: »

True. Oh, I wouldn't have gone for him

Will someone please tell me why this is considered so weird/bad?

Lots of people are into extremely dangerous sports, for example.

It's not weird-to be honest. Like, many, many women like 'the bad boy'-I have a friend of mine who is really into Adam Driver, the actor and when he plays Kylo Ren. He was in the Marines too, so he has this edginess to him (she always goes on about his 'manly' hair) but then you see him with his wife and dog and he's just a normal guy. Like, there is an edginess there, you know he knows how to kill someone, from his training, but you're not afraid of the guy because at the end of the day he's just a good person-with a little bit of a danger streak. (this friend also has a thing for Peter Capaldi and Mads Mikkelson-two guys known for their 'bad boy' portrayals too).
I've even seen tough guys talking about how they would beat the crap out of a guy if he started crap, or made threats against them or their girlfriends/ wives, and have no remorse in doing it. But seeing a hungry dog or mistreated animal would genuinely make em cry. They would go out of their way to make sure the creature got vet treatment and was fattened up and fed.
Those are guys I can related to-outside of the beating people up, tho I won't stand by if someone is getting treated like rubbish.

Tbh, I sort of have a similar thing with girls-like, I don't know how to explain it, but while I do find regular girls pretty and all that-I'm attracted to girls who do the 'dyed' hair, eye shadow and cat like eyes with the eyeliner. IF they swear or have an edginess to em, (which is hard to explain), I sort of feel more attracted to em-It's not in a 'I'm a tame that wild mare', it's more like 'This chick could genuinely kick someone's ass, but there is a shield or defense there, and I wanna get to know the girls behind the mask'. I like ladies' who are tough, because often there is this shyness behind it that I can relate to.
Just for an example, I met an Italian girl about a year or two ago, early 20s, really beautiful (tho a friend was like 'ah, it's all makeup pal') who had these traits, and was kind of a goth. She had a boyfriend, but I got to be good friends with her, despite her english not being perfect, and my Italian being non-existant. Still stay in touch with her on facebook, genuinely sweet and beautiful girl.

Wibbs wrote: »

Well, let's face it for many young men "getting a mate", even basic female sexual/romantic contact is the focus. The difference between a friend and a romantic partner? Quite simply and ultimately; fucking. That's the brass tacks, where the rubber(s) meet the road right there.

Many would be men who already have platonic relationships and social interactions including other men working fine for them, but who couldn't get laid in a brothel running a free all you can eat buffet. What's the issue there? I can't see one. On the surface anyway.

So what if it's "manipulative"? On a very basic level all social and especially romantic/sexual encounters are just that. On both sides. For many, if not most men, they are operating in a "seller's market" and women set the "price" and are just as "manipulative".

IMHO one big kickback about the PUA stuff isn't that it's daft and doesn't work, but that it might not be that daft and it might work and that upsets the "market". So the artifice of makeup, Spanx, push up bras and measured coyness is OK, but the artifice of learning some methods to psychologically engage and improve a man's chances in the dating/mating milieu isn't?

Stop the presses! Women aren't a hive mind who all agree!. That's a major problem with the PUA and especially the MGTOW yahoos. They reduce Women(tm) to a process, something their Sheldon Cooper minds can somehow "fix" or "avoid".

I've partially tried the PUA thing-had positive results too-and no, I wasn't trying to be the next Casanova. I just wanted to understand where I was messing up. When I did the research thing, I made sure I stuck with the 'if she says no then back off' people-rather than the 'women are there, they're there for you, take em, even if they say no- cos you deserve women' (there's only one of them on youtube-and that guy got banned from speaking in the UK for obvious reasons-the others are generally decent, and yes, I paid attention to women PUA's too). Generally, the PUA's I watched were actually decent people-all had girlfriends/ boyfriends/ wives/ husbands, and all were giving good advice. The major emphasis was 'be yourself'-and just do everything you can to make her feel comfortable, and don't be a jerk, and if she wants to be a friend, be a friend. Nothing wrong with that.
Generally, they talk about how to make sure you can always talk to her about something. And also emphasis on humour-not being afraid to laugh at yourself, rather than taking stuff to heart.

Samaris

Tbh, that seems like a sane way to take the PUA stuff. I'm sure there is some basic, sensible advice for those who are unsure of themselves in that sort of situation at the centre of the PUA business. It's the nuttier bits, the misogynistic bits, basically the extreme PUA sh*te that gives the whole thing a bad name.

I'd be very wary of a guy who let on that he was into the PUA stuff. Unfair on him if he's only talking about what you're talking about, yeah, but sheer self-preservation. Too much of it is corrupted by sheer misogyny and PUAism has a well-deserved bad rap. And the concept that some of them feel -entitled- to a woman - no, to a woman's body- just because they exist is just downright disturbing.

RabbleRouser2k

Samaris wrote: »

Tbh, that seems like a sane way to take the PUA stuff. I'm sure there is some basic, sensible advice for those who are unsure of themselves in that sort of situation at the centre of the PUA business. It's the nuttier bits, the misogynistic bits, basically the extreme PUA sh*te that gives the whole thing a bad name.

I'd be very wary of a guy who let on that he was into the PUA stuff. Unfair on him if he's only talking about what you're talking about, yeah, but sheer self-preservation. Too much of it is corrupted by sheer misogyny and PUAism has a well-deserved bad rap. And the concept that some of them feel -entitled- to a woman - no, to a woman's body- just because they exist is just downright disturbing.

Oh definitely, like I was the 'where did I mess up' approach-and that's what most of them emphasize.
Like this lady is one, she just gave good advice (She's married).

On the other hand-there's Julien Blanc, who's part of RSD- and many, many people do NOT want to be associated with him-including the guy in the article, Richard La Ruina (La Ruina recently got engaged, this is an old article). Again, the emphasis is always on talking to women-the 'creeps' are shown the door, probably given their money back too.
To say RSD are creeps is like saying Jimmy Saville was not a nice man-an understatement to say the least.
http://www.mirror.co.uk/news/uk-news/leading-uk-pick-up-artist-4628734
The simple short summary most these guys/ girls emphasise is go out and talk to girls. Oh, and read a book or something-because otherwise you will not have anything to say in conversation.

I completely understand that-like, I was just the guy who wanted to know why I messed up-I'm not trying to rank up scores. Never been a guy like that. (And yeah, I get the 'entitlement' thing. I literally won't even force a coffee on a woman, so the pushiness of others, is just sick).
And most of the people who read these books are the same as me. It's just he Julian Blancs of the world who are...yeah, how they sleep at night is another topic entirely.
And I've had to leave places, with my friends, because of encountering similar types-sometimes it required a word with the bouncer, to emphasise we weren't the problem.

Persephone kindness

RabbleRouser2k wrote: »

Oh definitely, like I was the 'where did I mess up' approach-and that's what most of them emphasize.
Like this lady is one, she just gave good advice (She's married).

On the other hand-there's Julien Blanc, who's part of RSD- and many, many people do NOT want to be associated with him-including the guy in the article, Richard La Ruina (La Ruina recently got engaged, this is an old article). Again, the emphasis is always on talking to women-the 'creeps' are shown the door, probably given their money back too.
To say RSD are creeps is like saying Jimmy Saville was not a nice man-an understatement to say the least.
http://www.mirror.co.uk/news/uk-news/leading-uk-pick-up-artist-4628734
The simple short summary most these guys/ girls emphasise is go out and talk to girls. Oh, and read a book or something-because otherwise you will not have anything to say in conversation.

I completely understand that-like, I was just the guy who wanted to know why I messed up-I'm not trying to rank up scores. Never been a guy like that. (And yeah, I get the 'entitlement' thing. I literally won't even force a coffee on a woman, so the pushiness of others, is just sick).
And most of the people who read these books are the same as me. It's just he Julian Blancs of the world who are...yeah, how they sleep at night is another topic entirely.
And I've had to leave places, with my friends, because of encountering similar types-sometimes it required a word with the bouncer, to emphasise we weren't the problem.

That woman seems pretty aggressive to guys. I don't mean to seem oppositional or anything but is it possible that is just a way to make money? That is their goal? It just seems like some weird alternative reality And a woman saying it doesn't make it morally ok ...or less damaging

Persephone kindness

SGSM wrote: »

No worries Widdershins. In all seriousness, just look after yourself if ya do encounter any dangerous fellas.

The vast majority of guys are not dangerous ..but yeah ....just be sensible That goes to everyone

Men and Women.

Samaris

Oh, I agree, the vast majority of guys, including guys who just want some advice from the PUA side are not at all dangerous and you sound like a completely normal, stable person, Rabble! And there's no harm in getting advice in What The Other Sex Wants (although anyone making blanket claims that This Works or All Men/Women Want X is probably lying).

Just there's an element of almost radicalisation amongst the nastier elements of PUAistry. Feeding on the weak or easily manipulated (which is by no means all involved, but the more RedPillish lot), enforcing beliefs of entitlement and superiority. That sort of mindset, when driven by hate and contempt, including self-hate, leads to tragedies.

Persephone kindness

Samaris wrote: »

Oh, I agree, the vast majority of guys, including guys who just want some advice from the PUA side are not at all dangerous and you sound like a completely normal, stable person, Rabble!

I didn't say that.


And there is nothing normal or stable about me and I oppose those who say otherwise !

Persephone kindness

What I said was the vast majority of guys are not dangerous.

PUA is a tiny alternative reality that doesn't exist ..there is no pua community just a load of sales people trying to pretend there is.

Wibbs

RabbleRouser2k wrote: »

To say RSD are creeps is like saying Jimmy Saville was not a nice man-an understatement to say the least.

+1000. Extremely cultish and designed to target vulnerable men, many with real issues and take their cash.

Persephone kindness wrote: »

That woman seems pretty aggressive to guys. I don't mean to seem oppositional or anything but is it possible that is just a way to make money? That is their goal?

Yep, almost entirely. It's a American style snake oil salesman pitch. And on the "dating" front comes from American big city dating culture. Some of which we've imported here on the back of the interwebs.

Persephone kindness wrote: »

PUA is a tiny alternative reality that doesn't exist ..there is no pua community just a load of sales people trying to pretend there is.

Oh it most certainly exists. The "load of sales people" in the market, some of whom make pretty decent cash from it, shows it exists. There is quite a large minority of modern young men who feel adrift, ignored, disconnected and are looking for a community of other men. For me the PUA/Redpill/MGTOW stuff is just the surface of a bigger picture.

Samaris

Sorry, to clear up confusion; I was responding to both your post and RabbleRouser's. Reckoned he sounded stable and normal (although I shouldnt presume, he might have severed heads under the bed! :P)

Basically, I agree that most guys are not extremists though and that, say, his approach in checking it out sounded totally reasonable. Some of the guys in that scene (and while it might be snake oil, some do buy way too deeply into it) have gotten so caught up in it that they could pose a danger to others or themselves though.

Widdershins

Persephone kindness wrote: »

The vast majority of guys are not dangerous ..but yeah ....just be sensible That goes to everyone

Men and Women.

It's when you don't have the usual instinct to avoid them that - in my case it's the opposite- you need to exercise extra caution, I suppose.

Think about how poor Elaine O'Hara found herself caught up with that creature. There is an incredible pull for some people.

RabbleRouser2k wrote: »

It's not weird-to be honest. Like, many, many women like 'the bad boy'-I have a friend of mine who is really into Adam Driver, the actor and when he plays Kylo Ren. He was in the Marines too, so he has this edginess to him (she always goes on about his 'manly' hair) but then you see him with his wife and dog and he's just a normal guy. Like, there is an edginess there, you know he knows how to kill someone, from his training, but you're not afraid of the guy because at the end of the day he's just a good person-with a little bit of a danger streak. (this friend also has a thing for Peter Capaldi and Mads Mikkelson-two guys known for their 'bad boy' portrayals too).
I've even seen tough guys talking about how they would beat the crap out of a guy if he started crap, or made threats against them or their girlfriends/ wives, and have no remorse in doing it. But seeing a hungry dog or mistreated animal would genuinely make em cry. They would go out of their way to make sure the creature got vet treatment and was fattened up and fed.
Those are guys I can related to-outside of the beating people up, tho I won't stand by if someone is getting treated like rubbish.

Tbh, I sort of have a similar thing with girls-like, I don't know how to explain it, but while I do find regular girls pretty and all that-I'm attracted to girls who do the 'dyed' hair, eye shadow and cat like eyes with the eyeliner. IF they swear or have an edginess to em, (which is hard to explain), I sort of feel more attracted to em-It's not in a 'I'm a tame that wild mare', it's more like 'This chick could genuinely kick someone's ass, but there is a shield or defense there, and I wanna get to know the girls behind the mask'. I like ladies' who are tough, because often there is this shyness behind it that I can relate to.
Just for an example, I met an Italian girl about a year or two ago, early 20s, really beautiful (tho a friend was like 'ah, it's all makeup pal') who had these traits, and was kind of a goth. She had a boyfriend, but I got to be good friends with her, despite her english not being perfect, and my Italian being non-existant. Still stay in touch with her on facebook, genuinely sweet and beautiful girl.

.

Great points. Why does Boards always come alive when I'm jaded

As you know I'm sort of in that category myself and of course the whole thing is only skin deep. Leaving aside the pretentious knobs who delude themselves into thinking they're truly unique, most of the kind of girls you describe that I know are very down to Earth. Some are a bit shy and I don't think it was ever their intention to appear hard. Some are a bit prickly but again that's just a defensive thing. One of my closest friends is ultra-goth but deeply traditional. She loves animals, cares deeply for her family and especially her grandfather, and the idea of a threesome really upset her. She has a tough streak but nobody is going to know it unless they seriously cross her or her friends!

Some men find it scary but I suspect they are little s**s who tend to treat women badly and are nervous of one who looks like she wouldn't tolerate that.

Ubbquittious

Where is all this $hite going to end? What worries me is the sheer volume of lads who seem to have just given up and I'd say it's going to get a lot worse before it gets better.

The cynic in me can see it getting to a point where lads will be encouraged to stay in their little apartment with a laptop and a blow-up doll and told it's perfectly normal to spend your days alone. Some group will hail this approach as a victory and point towards statistics showing the resulting reduction in violence against women as evidence for their claims.

How many M can GTOW before a serious shortage of men arises?

Jim Bob Scratcher

Ubbquittious wrote: »

Where is all this $hite going to end? What worries me is the sheer volume of lads who seem to have just given up and I'd say it's going to get a lot worse before it gets better.

The cynic in me can see it getting to a point where lads will be encouraged to stay in their little apartment with a laptop and a blow-up doll and told it's perfectly normal to spend your days alone. Some group will hail this approach as a victory and point towards statistics showing the resulting reduction in violence against women as evidence for their claims.

How many M can GTOW before a serious shortage of men arises?

It will only get worse in time, just look at Japan. Quite worrying.

Outlaw Pete

We had it all sussed when we were kids and then we just over complicated it all. Was much better when girls would just come up and ask you do you know so and so and do you like her, cause she likes you and then arrange for you to meet down the shelters.

LadyMacBeth_

Ubbquittious wrote: »

Where is all this $hite going to end? What worries me is the sheer volume of lads who seem to have just given up and I'd say it's going to get a lot worse before it gets better.

The cynic in me can see it getting to a point where lads will be encouraged to stay in their little apartment with a laptop and a blow-up doll and told it's perfectly normal to spend your days alone. Some group will hail this approach as a victory and point towards statistics showing the resulting reduction in violence against women as evidence for their claims.

How many M can GTOW before a serious shortage of men arises?

It seems to be already happening in Japan, a small subset of mainly men who don't go out and interact with the world or work, they cut themselves off entirely.

LadyMacBeth_

Jim Bob Scratcher wrote: »

It will only get worse in time, just look at Japan. Quite worrying.

Oh snap.

Ubbquittious

LadyMacBeth_ wrote: »

It seems to be already happening in Japan, a small subset of mainly men who don't go out and interact with the world or work, they cut themselves off entirely.

In Japan it seems to be much more than a small subset of oddballs. Do these fuckers not realise they are the architects of their own doom? Both the men who think women aren't worth the trouble and the women who think all men are creeps.

Life is much more pleasant and enjoyable if you see the other crowd as just people and interact with them instead of making them into an enemy inside your own head. I think automation and the anonymity of modern day city life doesn't help.

Not too awful long ago if there was someone dislikable living near you or someone who had views a lot different to your own you didn't make it known and tried to get on with him through gritted teeth because you were going to be running into this person at the local shop, at mass and down the pub and he was probably related to you in some way anyway. Now people seem to have lost that skill

silverharp

Ubbquittious wrote: »

In Japan it seems to be much more than a small subset of oddballs. Do these fuckers not realise they are the architects of their own doom? Both the men who think women aren't worth the trouble and the women who think all men are creeps.

Life is much more pleasant and enjoyable if you see the other crowd as just people and interact with them instead of making them into an enemy inside your own head. I think automation and the anonymity of modern day city life doesn't help.

Not too awful long ago if there was someone dislikable living near you or someone who had views a lot different to your own you didn't make it known and tried to get on with him through gritted teeth because you were going to be running into this person at the local shop, at mass and down the pub and he was probably related to you in some way anyway. Now people seem to have lost that skill

its more complicated though and has an economic basis to it. its basically pick a path with insane work hours and stress (supposedly) or chill with part time dead end jobs. "picking" the latter probably forces men out of the dating market.
Short of going into imperial mode again and reinvading Asia :pac: , probably better that a generation is lost to hentai p0rn and they can pick up the pieces again down the road.

Jim Bob Scratcher

silverharp wrote: »

its more complicated though and has an economic basis to it. its basically pick a path with insane work hours and stress (supposedly) or chill with part time dead end jobs. "picking" the latter probably forces men out of the dating market.
Short of going into imperial mode again and reinvading Asia :pac: , probably better that a generation is lost to hentai p0rn and they can pick up the pieces again down the road.

Not to mention should they get married and it all goes south the man is the one who will get shafted.

silverharp

Jim Bob Scratcher wrote: »

Not to mention should they get married and it all goes south the man is the one who will get shafted.

Apparently in Japan the woman runs the house finances and the man "gets" an allowance to buy his train ticket and which might cover a few beers if he is lucky. pretty much looks like having your life reduced to worker bee.

LadyMacBeth_

silverharp wrote: »

Apparently in Japan the woman runs the house finances and the man "gets" an allowance to buy his train ticket and which might cover a few beers if he is lucky. pretty much looks like having your life reduced to worker bee.

As it should be! *Cracks the whip*

:P

Jim Bob Scratcher

silverharp wrote: »

Apparently in Japan the woman runs the house finances and the man "gets" an allowance to buy his train ticket and which might cover a few beers if he is lucky. pretty much looks like having your life reduced to worker bee.

Jaysus, really ? that's scary. It's no wonder they're not bothering with woman

SGSM

silverharp wrote:

Apparently in Japan the woman runs the house finances and the man "gets" an allowance to buy his train ticket and which might cover a few beers if he is lucky. pretty much looks like having your life reduced to worker bee.

Well that explains a lot. That seems to be an infringement on human rights so its not as straight forward as Japanese guys just not bothering with women. All should be equal as it should be everywhere in the world. Simple as.

silverharp

LadyMacBeth_ wrote: »

As it should be! *Cracks the whip*

:P

for now, there is competition on the way

Jim Bob Scratcher

silverharp wrote: »

for now, there is competition on the way

Looks good, doesn't talk back, wont bleed you dry, doesn't cost much to maintain and, doesn't fart. What's not to like ? :pac: