Do men bother approaching women anymore?

Widdershins

Well I've already said I don't swoon over thugs. In fact that was the only reason I mentioned I like sort of dangerous men-to make the point that even I with my odd taste, don't like thugs (or the kind of man who would hurt an animal, which was the example used in the post I was responding to in the first place).

B0jangles

Widdershins wrote: »

Well I've already said I don't swoon over thugs. In fact that was the only reason I mentioned I like sort of dangerous men-to make the point that even I with my odd taste, don't like thugs (or the kind of man who would hurt an animal, which was the example used in the post I was responding to in the first place).

Don't fool yourself Widdershins, all those savage dog attacks are now on YOUR CONSCIENCE - they were all doing it just so you'd think they were cool.


:mad:

Ubbquittious

I think this thread has gone to the Dogs

Glenster

B0jangles wrote: »

Don't fool yourself Widdershins, all those savage dog attacks are now on YOUR CONSCIENCE - they were all doing it just so you'd think they were cool.

:mad:

They should just ban dogs from Coppers altogether. I'm sick of people using them as an icebreaker.

Potatoeman

tiger55 wrote: »

How many love letters from men do you think this evil woman gets?

http://www.independent.co.uk/news/uk/crime/women-jailed-for-child-abuse-at-day-nursery-1841972.html

If this creature was a man then he would be flooded with love letters from sick women.

Do you not think men profile women that go for men like that too though?

I pointed this out in another thread. I worked with a player that slept with over 30 women in the office. Not one of these women met a long term partner through work. Guys we're trying to sleep with them not date them.

RabbleRouser2k

Widdershins wrote: »

You're right, and the lady was obviously vulnerable when she met him, and he was a predator and homed in on that. At the same time, all the women in the kind of 'community' he was involved in online would have been potentially vulnerable, to a lesser extent. The main difference is probably that they had more of a guard up and they might be less inclined to forming a dependency. So while it might be true that most people are not dangerous, those who are attracted to men with a dark streak and mix in those circles, are already in a riskier position when it comes to potentially mixing with predatory types. I think there's a higher chance of the dangerous ones being drawn to that 'scene' in the first place. (And there are distinctly dodgy women in those circles too, in my opinion. People generally know who to steer clear of, but newcomers might not be so discerning, and I know two men who are unabashedly willing to put up with ''anything'' to keep such, let's say ''dangerous'' women in their lives.)
And there are more ordinary people involved in these scenes than people think.
I stay out of it, mainly because of the ridiculous personalities rather than the danger.

The goth girl who was frozen out by the other women...were they also a bit goth or were they ordinary women? That's sad, but not unusual

Also, you previously mentioned a friend saying that goth girl's looks were down to makeup...I have noticed that ordinary makeup is designed to look subtle, but can involve a lot of products and lots of layers, but I'd wear dark black eyeliner and possibly lipstick, and because it's bold, I probably look like I'm wearing more than someone with all the products and layers. I think a lot of ordinary peoples' looks are all makeup.

I think on the subject of children, it's a good thing some people recognise that they don't want to have them rather than going ahead for the sake of it. I'm convinced many people have them purely because they think it's expected of them.

Was that the BDSM community, or the swingers community? I think she was more into the BDSM thing-as in he had control of her.

Yeah, everyone has a phase of vulnerability, I think-like, when you get dumped, get turned down by someone you really thought was into you (or discover she was into you-but you were blind to it) or just go through a rough period in life. I just think her phase was her whole life.
She could very well have been the victim of sexual abuse too-we only know of the bullying, but considering the abuse she tolerated, there was probably some element of sexual abuse/ physical abuse in her life. (I've known one or two people who were molested as children-some retain their anger, others never come to terms with it, and others make peace with it. You literally have to accept 'it's not your fault'-you shouldn't blame yourself, but its easier said than done).

One of them was a 'feminist' with a ton of tattoos-of her own doing. She had been training as a tattoo artist at one point, and so the tattoos on places like her arms and legs were her own work. Others, such as her chest tattoo and shoulder tattoos, were done by other artists. (I've mentioned her before-with the 'man blaming' despite having a son). She was either a Goth, at one point, or an emo-did the 'shave off the eyebrows, tattoo them on' thing which I don't understand. Eyebrow waxing I get, shaving them off to draw them on I don't.
The other girl was not goth and had not tattoos but was sporty. But put em together and they were annoying.
I think, tbh, they were jealous of her-like, as I said, she was goth and cute. She had a boyfriend, people gravitated towards her. She was also someone who made friends easy, not just cos of her looks. So I think, genuinely, it was a case of jealousy. Stereotypical mean girls.

The it's all makeup, tbh, was just another person, as in another female, but she didn't know her. I was just looking at her cosplay stuff (really impressive stuff) and someone said 'it's all makeup'. This person wasn't jealous, it was more like she noticed I thought this lady was cute-we had differing opinions on beauty. (She is bisexual).
I've seen this girl with much more subtle makeup-and tbh, it didn't make that much of a difference. She was pretty, that is all.
I've heard a lot of Irish girls can be rather catty-saw it before with a Belgian girl and one Irish girl. There were 5 Irish girls there, but there was this one short one who could be quite the b!tch. And she would try and be the 'b!tch' with her, but would face the 'stare down'. Everyone else would ignore her comments, but Belgian girl swatted her down. IT was rather entertaining, tbh. (And none of the 5 were ugly-far from it).

Yeah-my parents put it down to 'oh, he's a kid, my brother said the same, and now he's married with 3 kids'...but the only thing was, I never grew out of it. As in, the more I grew, the more I just didn't see myself as a dad. And there have been a few ladies in my life that I did feel a connection to, but I knew they saw kids and other stuff in their future-and all I saw was a dog, or a cat.
I think in french class in secondary that I did talk about 'Oh, I'd love kids and a wife'-but that was more the french oral exam. IT gave you the ability to eat up 2 or 3 minutes.

Widdershins

RabbleRouser2k wrote: »

Was that the BDSM community, or the swingers community? I think she was more into the BDSM thing-as in he had control of her.

Yeah, everyone has a phase of vulnerability, I think-like, when you get dumped, get turned down by someone you really thought was into you (or discover she was into you-but you were blind to it) or just go through a rough period in life. I just think her phase was her whole life.
She could very well have been the victim of sexual abuse too-we only know of the bullying, but considering the abuse she tolerated, there was probably some element of sexual abuse/ physical abuse in her life. (I've known one or two people who were molested as children-some retain their anger, others never come to terms with it, and others make peace with it. You literally have to accept 'it's not your fault'-you shouldn't blame yourself, but its easier said than done).

One of them was a 'feminist' with a ton of tattoos-of her own doing. She had been training as a tattoo artist at one point, and so the tattoos on places like her arms and legs were her own work. Others, such as her chest tattoo and shoulder tattoos, were done by other artists. (I've mentioned her before-with the 'man blaming' despite having a son). She was either a Goth, at one point, or an emo-did the 'shave off the eyebrows, tattoo them on' thing which I don't understand. Eyebrow waxing I get, shaving them off to draw them on I don't.
The other girl was not goth and had not tattoos but was sporty. But put em together and they were annoying.
I think, tbh, they were jealous of her-like, as I said, she was goth and cute. She had a boyfriend, people gravitated towards her. She was also someone who made friends easy, not just cos of her looks. So I think, genuinely, it was a case of jealousy. Stereotypical mean girls.

The it's all makeup, tbh, was just another person, as in another female, but she didn't know her. I was just looking at her cosplay stuff (really impressive stuff) and someone said 'it's all makeup'. This person wasn't jealous, it was more like she noticed I thought this lady was cute-we had differing opinions on beauty. (She is bisexual).
I've seen this girl with much more subtle makeup-and tbh, it didn't make that much of a difference. She was pretty, that is all.
I've heard a lot of Irish girls can be rather catty-saw it before with a Belgian girl and one Irish girl. There were 5 Irish girls there, but there was this one short one who could be quite the b!tch. And she would try and be the 'b!tch' with her, but would face the 'stare down'. Everyone else would ignore her comments, but Belgian girl swatted her down. IT was rather entertaining, tbh. (And none of the 5 were ugly-far from it).

Yeah-my parents put it down to 'oh, he's a kid, my brother said the same, and now he's married with 3 kids'...but the only thing was, I never grew out of it. As in, the more I grew, the more I just didn't see myself as a dad. And there have been a few ladies in my life that I did feel a connection to, but I knew they saw kids and other stuff in their future-and all I saw was a dog, or a cat.
I think in french class in secondary that I did talk about 'Oh, I'd love kids and a wife'-but that was more the french oral exam. IT gave you the ability to eat up 2 or 3 minutes.

I was thinking of BDSM, I don't know about the swingers stuff, or that she was involved in that. Sometimes submissive people are sort of wanting to be taken care of in a strange sort of way. Some do develop an attachment similar to being in love.

The cosplay stuff can be very intricate and well done. She (Italian girl) sounds like she had a lot going for her and it sounds like a classic case of jealousy. This is why I prefer the company of men!

Kidchameleon

pilly wrote: »

Don't need them thanks. :rolleyes:

You do if you need a man to help you through life. Do it yourself ffs

Ubbquittious

Ubbquittious wrote: »

I think this thread has gone to the Dogs

Ah in fairness it probably went there the moment the first sweeping generalisation was posted. Generalisation that do not appear to map onto the real world experience of myself and many other posters on the thread. The "it's very reflective of reality." post with the "golddigger" video merely left me wondering "What reality? Who's reality?" because it certainly was not reflective of any I know.

My anecdotes are small but as I said before in the thread - when I hear certain types of generalisations or comments coming from someone - and then I actually observe them in action with the gender of their interest - I very quickly come to a "It's not them it's you" conclusion.

And most of the generalisations I am seeing here do not even map theoretically onto reality - let alone in anecdotal experience. People claiming that women are only interested in men with money for example appear to be making those generalisations in a society were the _vast_ majority of people end up in relationships.

In 2012 it was reported - "THERE ARE OVER 1.7 million married people in Ireland, an increase of nearly 10 percent since 2006, latest figures from the Central Statistics Office (CSO) have shown." - and that figure does not include the people in relationships but _not_ married.

So if women are "only interested in money" then that would assume that the 1.7 million married people and x.x million unmarried people in relationships - are all above average financially?

If men and women and heterosexuals and homosexuals were only interested in the things _this_ thread has contained generalisations about - then it is a wonder any of these people are ending up in relationships - let alone at the majority consistent rate we actually see!

What I fear and suspect is more likely in play is there are individuals who have been unlucky in the pursuit of their gender of interest - and find explanatory generalisations easier to swallow than looking inward and wondering if it is either some flaw they have - or just statistical bad luck.

Women are only interested in looks this thread has told me. Women are only interested in money or power this thread has told me. Women only like bad boys who treat them mean and not if you are too nice I have also been told.

Yet I have a _very_ low/modest income (partially by choice - I favor flexible hours and low stress over income) and I look like a middle aged version of what you would expect the Milky Bar Kid to look like had he spent 30 years working in IT. And I am _exceptionally_ nice to the women in my life. And I am magically - against all the generalisations - in a relationship with not one but two women. And all my friends - of which I have a modest but significant quantity - have relationships too regardless of their looks - income relative to mine - or whether they are nice or "bad".

So yea - any thread trotting out these generalisations is long gone to the dogs before actual dogs got involved

Mister Vain

tiger55 wrote: »

I have been with more women than you have had hot dinners.

I used to tell women i was out of jail for armed robbery

I once had an ex spreading lies that i hit her

tiger55 wrote: »

I had a woman ditch me, then she wanted me back when i showed her my bank balance lol

This is even more incredulous than the video of the guy in the wheelchair. :pac:

tiger55

Mister Vain wrote: »

This is even more incredulous than the video of the guy in the wheelchair. :pac:

I have years of experience, not talking about what happened last week.

Roger Hassenforder

tiger55 wrote: »

I have years of experience, not talking about what happened last week.

im going to probably regret this...
So...what happened last week?:D

B0jangles

Roger Hassenforder wrote: »

im going to probably regret this...
So...what happened last week?:D

Leaving Junior Cert started.

(updated for accuracy)

worded

Cousin male met his mates x female (she broke it off / lost interest in his mate) and just brought up how he was doing and droped it that the x had won the English pools in the 90s .... won approx 900k in today's money

The x couldn't help herself and went to rekindle things a few days later out of the blue contact aft a year appart ....

Neither party knew my cousin had lied until it was obvious she was good digging

Warped sense of humour but funny none the less

LadyMacBeth_

All of this gold digging crap. My god. I'm a woman and I have a wife, so do we raid each other's wallets? What happens if we get divorced, we both screw each other over? Fecksake.

B0jangles

LadyMacBeth_ wrote: »

All of this gold digging crap. My god. I'm a woman and I have a wife, so do we raid each other's wallets? What happens if we get divorced, we both screw each other over? Fecksake.

No no, you both get richer and richer!

I worked this out a few years ago; based on the standard 'logic' that divorce always means the man gets shafted and the woman gets a lifetime supply of fur coats and milk tray, then two women who marry and then divorce will BOTH just keep getting more and more fur coats and chocolates!

The downside of course is that two men who marry and then divorce will mysteriously both end up much poorer

LadyMacBeth_

B0jangles wrote: »

No no, you both get richer and richer!

I worked this out a few years ago; based on the standard 'logic' that divorce always means the man gets shafted and the woman gets a lifetime supply of fur coats and milk tray, then two women who marry and then divorce will BOTH just keep getting more and more fur coats and chocolates!

The downside of course is that two men who marry and then divorce will mysteriously both end up much poorer

Well then, consider me divorced if there are fur coats and milk tray on offer and I get to increase my wealth exponentially!

silverharp

LadyMacBeth_ wrote: »

All of this gold digging crap. My god. I'm a woman and I have a wife, so do we raid each other's wallets? What happens if we get divorced, we both screw each other over? Fecksake.

the judge will be confused for sure "excuse me ladies which one of you is the man in this relationship"

Daisy78

worded wrote: »

Cousin male met his mates x female (she broke it off / lost interest in his mate) and just brought up how he was doing and droped it that the x had won the English pools in the 90s .... won approx 900k in today's money

The x couldn't help herself and went to rekindle things a few days later out of the blue contact aft a year appart ....

Neither party knew my cousin had lied until it was obvious she was good digging

Warped sense of humour but funny none the less

Maybe this is reflective of his poor taste in women rather than being symptomatic of women as a whole. Men do tend to overlook certain red flags when they are in lust.

I think this story sums the Irish attitude to dating all up. Thank god for drink and social settings because we'd have ceased to exist as a nation of people a long time ago otherwise

https://lovin.ie/entertainment/woman-makes-online-appeal-after-falling-in-love-during-her-weekly-shop-at-lidl

LadyMacBeth_

[Deleted User] wrote: »

I think this story sums the Irish attitude to dating all up. Thank god for drink and social settings because we'd have ceased to exist as a nation of people a long time ago otherwise

https://lovin.ie/entertainment/woman-makes-online-appeal-after-falling-in-love-during-her-weekly-shop-at-lidl

It would have been far less "deranged" if she'd asked him out in the queue rather than asking a friend to post about it on social media in the hopes of finding him.

LadyMacBeth_

LadyMacBeth_ wrote: »

It would have been far less "deranged" if she'd asked him out in the queue rather than asking a friend to post about it on social media in the hopes of finding him.

No I certainly hope the irony isn't lost on her

Pac1Man

Leave her alone. You are discounting the aphrodisiacal power of feta cheese.

BorneTobyWilde

LadyMacBeth_ wrote: »

All of this gold digging crap. My god. I'm a woman and I have a wife, so do we raid each other's wallets? What happens if we get divorced, we both screw each other over? Fecksake.

So you don't raid each others wallets? So you are married but continue to live as single, what's yours is yours and what's hers is hers, that's sad.
If I was married then everything I have would be equally hers.

nice_guy80

Deleted User wrote: »

I think this story sums the Irish attitude to dating all up. Thank god for drink and social settings because we'd have ceased to exist as a nation of people a long time ago otherwise

https://lovin.ie/entertainment/woman-makes-online-appeal-after-falling-in-love-during-her-weekly-shop-at-lidl

like something from a movie

he's just not that into you