Do men bother approaching women anymore?

Tigger

Candie wrote: »

All the time.

I've never gone out for the night and not been approached, even when I'm with someone I'd still get approached on the way to the bathroom.

It's not that I'm a supermodel either, I'm attractive enough but nothing spectacular.

You're good looking enough to approach but no soo high maintaince looking that men are intimidated
Which is nice

FizzleSticks

This post has been deleted.

Outlaw Pete

Jim Bob Scratcher wrote: »

If a bloke did that in this country he would be considered weird though

I seen something similar happen on the 41 bus (of all places). I was out in the Airport and waiting for a bus to the city centre when a black guy, African I think, with a bellowing voice (almost like Eddie Murphy in Coming to America) comes up to me and points at a Carrol's Shop advert on the bus stop that showed a beautiful brunette in a Aran Jumper and says, loudly "What beautiful women you have here!". I looked at is and then just jokingly said to him: "Ah, sure she's probably some Italian model". He looked at me like I said she was probably as alien from Plant Zog and walked off looking puzzled.

Bus comes and he's sitting upstairs on the opposite side to me and around Whitehall I see him slowly stand up, walk up to the front seats where a girl was sitting on her own, and as he leaned down say "Hello, how are you, do you like to watch Football!" She looks up petrified and in the thickest inner city accent says: "Ah here will you get away from me will ya!". Never seen someone move so fast. Was back in his seat quick fast looking even more bemused. I think maybe he had seen The Quiet Man and though 'Ireland is the place for me'.

Tigger

pilly wrote: »

It depends. There are some foreign women looking for Irish husbands.

Eastern European women on the other hand have a total disdain for Irish men and I find it quite rude.

Loads of my mates are partnered up with Eastern European women

One eyed Jack

red ears wrote: »

Saying that we are in the age of equality now, approaching the opposite sex is stressful. Its about time women started doing their fair share of approaching.

Approaching the opposite sex is stressful, but women should do more approaching because... equality?

I don't think that's going to fly any time soon tbh, particularly because nobody is obliged to approach anyone! It'd be nice for example if I was approached by more women, but I'm not going to suggest women should approach me because... equality?

I don't get it, I'm just trying to make sense of what you're suggesting, but I don't get it at all. Where does attraction and freedom of choice come into that?

SGSM

pilly wrote:

I think irish men lack balls to be honest.

Very unfair. How about trying it and being blanked by her. Yep, she literally looked at me and walked away. I'm in my twenties and the majority of guys that approach women are on nights out and hammered. It's not the done thing and if it's not in a night out setting, the women are mortified by it.

Approaching a stranger in a pub or club is just about the strangest way I can think of to get either short or long term action in 2017. It seems pretty old fashioned and desperate tbh.

That said, women are only after you to pay the rent for them these days so I'm led to understand, far better off out of it lads

Surreptitious

Deleted User wrote: »

Approaching a stranger in a pub or club is just about the strangest way I can think of to get either short or long term action in 2017. It seems pretty old fashioned and desperate tbh.

That said, women are only after you to pay the rent for them these days so I'm led to understand, far better off out of it lads

What planet are you on? No man ever supported me.

I do get approached alright sometimes people just want a chat too on a night out.
I don't think anyone sets out with the mind set of straight out sex when they talk to a woman socially.

Surreptitious

Surreptitious wrote: »

What planet are you on? No man ever supported me..

Reading boards .....today!

Yourself isit

red ears wrote: »

That's not really a fair assessment i think, its not the done thing here and most women would recoil in horror if some guy approached them sober in a cafe in Ireland.

Saying that we are in the age of equality now, approaching the opposite sex is stressful. Its about time women started doing their fair share of approaching.

A lot of American women don't like the hit upon culture over there either. Let me enjoy my damned coffee, they think.

Widdershins

I think Tinder is mainly a city person's thing. I can't comment on nightclubs but men certainly do still approach and talk to women everywhere else. I don't get a sense that it's purely done with a view to dating/sex but that people are more open to making new friends in the country. In towns, it seems people stick to an existing circle of friends, and see dating as entirely separate and something they have to do through the internet...a bit like selecting that night's food from a takeaway menu.

Surreptitious

Widdershins wrote: »

I think Tinder is mainly a city person's thing. I can't comment on nightclubs but men certainly do still approach and talk to women everywhere else. I don't get a sense that it's purely done with a view to dating/sex but that people are more open to making new friends in the country. In towns, it seems people stick to an existing circle of friends, and see dating as entirely separate and something they have to do through the internet...a bit like selecting that night's food from a takeaway menu.

I think people in lower populated areas won't find Tinder helpful as they could be matching with neighbours and stuff from a small town where everyone knows one another. People in cities do chat away too though when you're out it's just that in the country you'd have more of a chance of bumping into people who know your family or the same friends and that.
I prefer meeting a man who would walk up to me and start talking to me as online people use fake pictures and can get away with lying a lot more hiding behind some kind of fake bravado.

Eimee90

pilly wrote:

Have had the same experience all over the continent.

pilly wrote:

I think irish men lack balls to be honest.

pilly wrote:

Made my day.

pilly wrote:

In Canada recently and a guy actually approached me in a cafe! Such a refreshing approach.

I'd hate that and I'm not old fashioned or anything but being caught on the hop like that would not suit me.

I think you're unfair to say that about Irish men too. It's a different culture to Canada. My dating experiences with lads here has been positive. Blasting a whole country of men is a tad bit of a sweeping generalisation

the_syco

pilly wrote: »

In Canada recently and a guy actually approached me in a cafe! Such a refreshing approach.

Made my day.

Have had the same experience all over the continent.

I think irish men lack balls to be honest.

You'll find men and women do so, everywhere except Ireland and the UK. I'll blame the Irish education system where some guy who'll never get laid telling you the evils of sex.

ArchXStanton

Its simple effort Vs reward for me...

Ubbquittious

Jaysus I'd hate to be single again, it's gone besh!t altogether. You're supposed to use tinder now instead of chatting up someone in real life?

If you're in rural Ireland and you start approaching women you quickly make a name for yourself. In the city they soon tell you where to go because you're obviously a weirdo

Junkyard Tom

I'm more of an angler than a trawlerman.

Junkyard Tom

Junkyard Tom wrote: »

I'm more of an angler than a trawlerman.

tis rare a net ever comes up fully empty

course, a full net is too much

Ubbquittious

Junkyard Tom wrote: »

I'm more of an angler than a trawlerman.

I wish I was a fisherman
Tumblin' on the seas
Far away from dry land
And it's bitter memories

Castin' out my sweet line
With abandonment and love
No ceiling bearin' down on me
Except the starry sky above

stanley1989

I'm 30 and have never approached a woman in my life .. Haven't had that many girlfriends but definitely not at the lower end of the scale either ... Seen my mates do it time and time again harassed a girl for the night get her drunk and boom .. I'd rather not thanks .. Gets weird after awhile watching it .... No one likes a plague lol

pilly

stanley1989 wrote:

I'm 30 and have never approached a woman in my life .. Haven't had that many girlfriends but definitely not at the lower end of the scale either ... Seen my mates do it time and time again harassed a girl for the night get her drunk and boom .. I'd rather not thanks .. Gets weird after awhile watching it .... No one likes a plague lol

So how did you get these girlfriends?

Jesus Wept

It's a very dangerous game be warned. I did it once a few years ago and she is currently snoring quietly beside me.

Atlantic Dawn

The old boats were the best.

stanley1989

pilly wrote: »

So how did you get these girlfriends?

Well obviously they approached me first lol

wonderfullife

Candie wrote: »

It's not that I'm a supermodel either, I'm attractive enough but nothing spectacular.

I'm nostalgic for After Hours circa 2010 when the ONLY acceptable response to this would have been "pics or GTFO".

LaVail

I've witnessed this many a time...Guy approaches a girl who is in company with other girls...girl proceeds to turn a guy down without even entering conversation and then proceeds to have a good laugh with her mates. Women are moaning that guys make no effort but when they do they are mocked and laughed at.

Why don't women approach a guy if they're interested in them?

Mister Vain

pilly wrote: »

It depends. There are some foreign women looking for Irish husbands.

Eastern European women on the other hand have a total disdain for Irish men and I find it quite rude.

I can't say I have ever experienced that. I actually think Eastern European women are the most approachable. Its easier to express an interest in them without comimg across too forward. They tend to be very open about their feelings. Theres no mind games, its straight to the point.

Shemale

Candie wrote: »

All the time.

I've never gone out for the night and not been approached, even when I'm with someone I'd still get approached on the way to the bathroom.

It's not that I'm a supermodel either, I'm attractive enough but nothing spectacular.

Self professed eye candie. I would be surprised it happens all the time unless you only drink in riding boozers

Shemale

s4uv3 wrote: »

I don't know a single woman who'd piss in a urinal over a toilet.

You clearly havent been to Bangkok

pilly

Mister Vain wrote:

I can't say I have ever experienced that. I actually think Eastern European women are the most approachable. Its easier to express an interest in them without comimg across too forward. They tend to be very open about their feelings. Theres no mind games, its straight to the point.

Maybe you meet the standard so.

Kintarō Hattori

pilly wrote: »

Maybe you meet the standard so.

I have to agree with the other two posters. With my Polish partner 13 years this year. Some will of course prefer to keep things within their own circles but the vast majority I've met have been open, easy to talk to and deal with.

Ben Gadot

LaVail wrote: »

Why don't women approach a guy if they're interested in them?

It's a lack of balls seemingly based on this thread.

I think it depends on what age you are. Most of my mates are either settled or are on the cusp of it so if we're out, it's just to be amongst ourselves. I imagine if you're a woman of an equivalent age and you're not getting approached, it's for this reason.

As for in general and outside of my own group, I honestly couldn't tell you. I don't observe people on nights out and couldn't give a **** what people do as long as they are respectful (hint: not out of your brain or aggressive).

Outlaw Pete

LaVail wrote: »

I've witnessed this many a time...Guy approaches a girl who is in company with other girls...girl proceeds to turn a guy down without even entering conversation and then proceeds to have a good laugh with her mates. Women are moaning that guys make no effort but when they do they are mocked and laughed at.

Yeah, common enough, no idea why but girls putting down guys seems to be hilarious to some women. When I was younger, much younger, that was never a thing. My major chatting up days was in the old Zoo bar and I would approach loads of girls back then and it was always so relaxed and if someone rejected you it would be done with fun or their mates would say something sound to you, you'd never regret approaching someone as a result. You'd get the old jovial slagging, but nothing with the implicit intention of humiliating you... which I feel a lot of what I see in bars and clubs can be for sure these days and for quite a while tbh.. maybe the late 90's onwards was when I started to notice that crap start to become more and more common.

Wait a minute... wasn't that the same time Sex & The City began :eek::mad:

Jim Bob Scratcher

LaVail wrote: »

I've witnessed this many a time...Guy approaches a girl who is in company with other girls...girl proceeds to turn a guy down without even entering conversation and then proceeds to have a good laugh with her mates. Women are moaning that guys make no effort but when they do they are mocked and laughed at.

Why don't women approach a guy if they're interested in them?

Social media has ruined women unfortunately.

fxotoole

pilly wrote: »

Eastern European women on the other hand have a total disdain for Irish men and I find it quite rude.

Another massive generalisation there, pilly

AudreyHepburn

I'd love to be able to say men's being put off going near women on a night out has just got to do with the kind of establishment you are in and because you might be giving off vibes that suggest you're not interested or even that it's simply the rise of the likes of Tinder that have put a stop to good old flirting face to face but sadly I don't think any of those reasonable suggestions are the case.

I think it's because men are terrified of being accused of doing something they didn't and it's a sad state of affairs that that should be the case.

I wish I could understand why so many of my fellow women are so determined to make men out to be sexual deviants and monsters. Why do they want to create situations where men are afraid even to look at women for fear of being labeled a sexual offender?

bmwguy

A good old battle of the sexes thread. Can't beat them.

But I agree, I was on a night out Friday and a lady told me to F OFF when I tried to talk to her. Wasn't even trying to pull or anything. Those were the words she used.

Have been laughed at to my face in the past, it can be horrendous. Some groups of Irish women really can be unbelievably bitchy. Then you get the inevitable game playing if they have a bit of interest.
Thank God I am finished with that. Online worked for me and it's what I would recommend.

Pac1Man

"Well hello there attractive lady. How tight do you like your shoelaces?"

Samaris

Jim Bob Scratcher wrote: »

Social media has ruined women unfortunately.

Yeah? Don't leave me in suspense, I want to know how I've been irretrievably destroyed by social media! I didn't notice it happening, did my legs fall off or something?


Regarding males approaching, never found it funny, myself. Even when I was single though, I wouldn't tend to be interested and would probably turn pink, shake my head apologetically and scuttle. This was before the days of social media though, so that had nothing to do with extreme shyness.

I once pvercame it enough to approach a bloke. Turned out he had a girlfriend Oh well. But yeah, given how I'd react to -being- approached, I wouldn't slag off a guy for trying (as long as he wasn't a. being a sleaze or b. attempting to attract my attention by grabbing my ass. Those assholes get a "totally surprise reaction" elbow.)

SNNUS

LaVail wrote: »

I've witnessed this many a time...Guy approaches a girl who is in company with other girls...girl proceeds to turn a guy down without even entering conversation and then proceeds to have a good laugh with her mates. Women are moaning that guys make no effort but when they do they are mocked and laughed at.

Why don't women approach a guy if they're interested in them?

Spot on! I do not mind approaching a girl or chatting while waiting for a drink , but to chat to a girl while her snidey friends are there is very hard to do.

Jim Bob Scratcher

Samaris wrote: »

Yeah? Don't leave me in suspense, I want to know how I've been irretrievably destroyed by social media! I didn't notice it happening, did my legs fall off or something?


Regarding males approaching, never found it funny, myself. Even when I was single though, I wouldn't tend to be interested and would probably turn pink, shake my head apologetically and scuttle. This was before the days of social media though, so that had nothing to do with extreme shyness.

I once pvercame it enough to approach a bloke. Turned out he had a girlfriend Oh well. But yeah, given how I'd react to -being- approached, I wouldn't slag off a guy for trying (as long as he wasn't a. being a sleaze or b. attempting to attract my attention by grabbing my ass. Those assholes get a "totally surprise reaction" elbow.)

Putting false ideas in your head thinking your something special while you're nothing but an airbrushed photo. Having silly notions in your head like your some friggin supermodel by the number of likes you get on a photo etc.

Samaris

Jim Bob Scratcher wrote: »

Putting false ideas in your head thinking your something special while you're nothing but an airbrushed photo.

I'm glad to hear my legs didn't fall off! That would be much more annoying. Annoying you by merely existing is one of those things that I (and apparently all women) will just have to accept as a sad shadow upon our mortal coils, a thorn on the rolling path of life.


Actually, from my own experience, and just to introduce another way women might react - I always reacted better if someone approached me in conversation rather than a "you up for a shift" way. I never appreciated just being a mark on a scorecard. Who would?

B.A._Baracus

In a relationship for a couple of years now but I used to hate approaching women on nights out.
A lot would give you a look of 'eh what you doing talking to me?' :pac:

whoopsadoodles

What's with the amount of generalisations in the thread?

People hook up on nights out all the time, so someone must be approaching someone right?

I get approached by Irish men and by non Irish men. Irish men moreseo but that's probably because I'm in Ireland. I certainly have never thought they lack balls! I've never once been rude. I always smile and return any conversation. Most conversations are started at the bar but not all. Like Candie said earlier, going to the bathroom would be fairly common too. As I did say earlier on the thread but was deleted... I was approached in Lidl a few weeks ago and had no issue with it as it was done in a nice way.

Maybe it's different with the younger folk, but none of my friends would ever be rude to someone who was politely trying to strike up a conversation. The one and only time I didn't take kindly to someone's advances was when some scumbag put his hand up my skirt and grabbed me. I'm not sure exactly what he was hoping would happen but maybe he has gotten away with it before, who knows.

Jim Bob Scratcher

Samaris wrote: »

I'm glad to hear my legs didn't fall off! That would be much more annoying. Annoying you by merely existing is one of those things that I (and apparently all women) will just have to accept as a sad shadow upon our mortal coils, a thorn on the rolling path of life.


Actually, from my own experience, and just to introduce another way women might react - I always reacted better if someone approached me in conversation rather than a "you up for a shift" way. I never appreciated just being a mark on a scorecard. Who would?

All I can say is women like you are a dying breed.

Outlaw Pete

Samaris wrote: »

I never appreciated just being a mark on a scorecard. Who would?

stateofflux

Richard Hillman wrote: »

There is no way to approach a female without giving off the impression that you are a psycho or a sex offender.

James Bond may disagree

whoopsadoodles

Jim Bob Scratcher wrote: »

It's not about my approach, some women need to get of their high throne and get with reality and not what some girly magazine is telling them to look for in the ideal man :rolleyes:

Maybe just leave those kind of women to it?

Yourself isit

the_syco wrote: »

You'll find men and women do so, everywhere except Ireland and the UK. I'll blame the Irish education system where some guy who'll never get laid telling you the evils of sex.

You're blaming the Irish education system for the UK? Huge if true.

Jim Bob Scratcher

whoopsadoodles wrote: »

Maybe just leave those kind of women to it?

Sure how the heck am i supposed to know how they will react, I'm not a psychic :pac: