Bullying

Mzo1978

Hi

Just wondering should I inform my child's school that one of his class mates has been sending him nasty messages online?... these boys are only 9/10 and my so has a you tube channel with 260 subscribers, tonight I got notifications through my phone and this other kid who has given him trouble in school in the past sent him really awful messages u see his videos. I'm trying to get in contact with his parents but should I inform the school tomorrow ???

mahamageehad

It's a tricky subject, and maybe one better suited to the parenting forum?

If the messages are upsetting your child (not sure here if you mean private messages, or publicly viewable comments beneath videos), he should ban this user from his page. I would possibly also take screenshots too, just in case the comments are deleted later. Depending on the content of the messages, and how upset your son is, speaking to the parents may be enough. It's not really a school issue unless it's spilling over into there too. Disclaimer though, I don't have kids so a parents perspective may be more well-rounded!

siobhan1983

Sorry but what is your 9year old son doing with his own YouTube channel? And why does the school need to deal with the consequences of this? Legally he is supposed to be 18 to sign up for his own YouTube channel. He has over 250followers? At 9?? Does he know all these people? Why in gods name would you let your son of that age post videos of himself online for the world to see and then run crying to the school when he gets comments outside of it on something that has nothing to do with school!
Be a responsible adult and get your child off YouTube! You are lining him up to be bullied by leaving him exposed like that! Cop on!!!!

mahamageehad

To clarify, you don't need to be over 18 to have a YouTube account. It's recommended to be over 13 due to data protection policies, but that can be waived with a parents permission. There are some incredibly popular young YouTubers like EvanTube - he's making millions at 9 years old. (http://m.huffpost.com/us/entry/5850580)
Whether or not you think that's acceptable is another debate entirely, but just wanted to point out that it's not breaking any YouTube rules. Personally I have mixed feelings about very young YouTubers and privacy/pressure implications, but again it's a different topic.

I do agree with you that it's probably nothing to do with the school though. OP hasn't clarified yet if the comments are publically viewable or not, or whether they're abuse wrapped as criticism or just generic personal abuse.

Mzo1978

Just to clarify : ... Yes he knows 50% of his followers personally most are boys from his class his school his football team his cousins his friends where we live. He doesn't post himself he had a channel for match attax cards and alot of fidget spinners and some go pro videos from his motorcross. You wouldn't know who he was unless u knew him personally. Everything gets filtered through my phone so I got the notifications and seen the messages yes it has filtered from school. He didn't reply to them he's a clever 10 year old he said if I reply I'm giving him what he wants. He seen videos from his favourite you tubers discussing negativity and nasty comments so he surprised me with his reply.
Siobhan do u have any children? I've a 10 year old boy who plays a bit of the PlayStation At the weekends all his class friends have grand thief auto and watchdogs at games that are over 18 I've confirmed with parents they have these games my son's not allowed them he's 10 so when he asked us could he make video's on you tube there comes a time when u need to let a child do something and explore and learn u cannot keep saying no no no. Hes been on u tube 2 years never had any issue but because him and his peers discuss their different videos in school this one little brat has decided to pick at him through that. It boils my blood that because of bullys other children have to pull back and not enjoy different things in life this kid already picked on him in the local boxing club and they were a bunch of idiots there who allowed that carry on my son had to leave.

Vicxas

Its a tough subject, but if its not on school grounds then i don't think there's much they can do.

The child's parents are probably the first port of call.

Big Bag of Chips

If your son is being bullied in school then yes, bring it to the school. I would be very wary of allowing a 7/8year old their own YouTube channel. You say he's had it for 2 years. He may be a very clever 10 year old, but by being online he is opening himself up to cyber bullying. And depending on how far it goes, I wouldn't like to trust that a 10 year old is sufficiently equipped to deal with that. Personally, my children will all be a bit older before they are allowed have their own social media presence.

260 followers, and he knows 50% of them. At 10 years of age he should know 100% of them personally, and you should know/know of 100% of them too.

Bullying going on in school. Deal with it through the school. I suppose you could also bring it up that these comments are being made online too. It would be difficult to separate the bullying into online and in school. You might get help and advice from the school which will address the online stuff too.

siobhan1983

No I don't have children OP but I am a primary teacher and teach that age group! Trust me, no 10year old is mature enough to have a YouTube channel! Would you invite all his followers into your sitting room to let them watch him in person?
We had a guard in doing an Internet safety talk and he was just horrified at what these children had access too, parental observation or not.
You say that different children have bullied your child, then why would you leave him open to another forum of bullying online!9year olds sitting watching videos of how to play games and fidget spinners etc baffle me? How are they ever supposed to be able to do anything for themselves? Or get enjoyment out of figuring out the games themselves.I can't see how you can justify a 9year old having his own YouTube channel on any level! It's so wrong!

mordeith

Just disable comments on the videos

Mzo1978

siobhan1983 wrote: »

No I don't have children OP but I am a primary teacher and teach that age group! Trust me, no 10year old is mature enough to have a YouTube channel! Would you invite all his followers into your sitting room to let them watch him in person?
We had a guard in doing an Internet safety talk and he was just horrified at what these children had access too, parental observation or not.
You say that different children have bullied your child, then why would you leave him open to another forum of bullying online!9year olds sitting watching videos of how to play games and fidget spinners etc baffle me? How are they ever supposed to be able to do anything for themselves? Or get enjoyment out of figuring out the games themselves.I can't see how you can justify a 9year old having his own YouTube channel on any level! It's so wrong!

He had the same talk from a guard who told them all how to be safe online on their channels because most of them in his class have them.Their teacher then in turn discussed it for the week. Hes the only one in his class who is not allowed play the games for 18s and over do you know what that can do to a child in svhool when they say there not allowrd to play such games when all their peers are?

I think you are very uneducated in what children are into maybe because you don't have any have you ever heard of little lizard.... they are into Minecraft they have millions of u tube followers all children from 4/5 years and up. Some of the big u tube channels are children as you g as 5 playing with your opening eggs etc it's what children all over the world watch.

And no different children have not bullied him it's the same 4 boys in school at home. When I asked him did he reply to the comments he said no the guard told us that's the worst thing to do is rise to a comment you should just ignore it so he took that from the talk. He was at football at the weekend and his little friends were all discussing these boys comments apparently they have all received some. My son knows he's not a retard so that comment was wasted but what was said in school has affected him he was told that the boy wished he was dead. Where was the teacher then she just said boys don't be silly. If there was proper discussions in schools about bullying we wouldn't be having this discussion.
Thankfully our school has a new Principal and he wont tolerate this behaviour it's a pity parents are clueless as to what their children actual do online I know everything my son does as it's all connected to my phone.

spurious

I would say make the school aware of it. Other children are watching.

Many moons ago, in the days of Bebo, we (second level school) had a particularly nasty incident of homophobic bullying through a Bebo page. The family of the bullied boy made us aware of it and myself and another colleague took two days with the co-operation of the child's family (in our own time) to log in as the child, see what was being said about him, by whom, who liked it etc.. We got quite a list of names - almost ten. We printed out each and every instance of bullying remarks, pictures, 'jokes', likes, shares etc..

We held a school assembly to make sure every child in the school knew bullying was not going to be tolerated and that we were watching.
We then called in each and every parent of those involved (including a child who offered himself up, as he had put 'LOL' after one of the nasty comments but later thought better of it and deleted it). He hadn't been on our list.
The number of parents who did not know how to check what their kids were doing, or who allowed the child access the net in their own room away from supervision was frightening.


Every child in the school could see what was happening. That there had been bullying, it was reported and we were acting straightaway on it.

Long story short, while I would not be so naive as to say we had no bullying at all in our school, the 'shock' of the big assembly and the parade of those who had been involved in bullying this child certainly had an effect which lasted for years, long after they had all left. We definitely had (and have to this day) a safer place for children to be 'different' in.

silverharp

siobhan1983 wrote: »

No I don't have children OP but I am a primary teacher and teach that age group! Trust me, no 10year old is mature enough to have a YouTube channel!

My son has had one since he was 8 , never say never. its proper content though I wouldnt have let him upload himself talking crap or anything.

siobhan1983

silverharp wrote: »

My son has had one since he was 8 , never say never. its proper content though I wouldnt have let him upload himself talking crap or anything.

What is proper content for an 8year old who is up for the world to see online?

silverharp

siobhan1983 wrote: »

What is proper content for an 8year old who is up for the world to see online?

he plays piano and game music covers, he is good at what he does and he has picked up video editing skills in the process. "for the world to see online" doesnt really mean anything, nobody would even know what country he is in.

siobhan1983

silverharp wrote: »

he plays piano and game music covers, he is good at what he does and he has picked up video editing skills in the process. "for the world to see online" doesnt really mean anything, nobody would even know what country he is in.

And would you be comfortable with all the people that view his videos sitting in your living room watching him live? I find it very scary that parents think it's ok for an 8yr old to post videos on YouTube!!

EIREAROEIRE

i would talk to the parents for sure nip it in the bud but having your own channel u have to be able to accept bad and good comments my son is 6 and begs me to have a channel but i wont let him because i know the horrible things kids can say and as kids cant take it disable all bad subs and check daily is all i could do and u never know he could be the next evan or dan tdm

silverharp

siobhan1983 wrote: »

And would you be comfortable with all the people that view his videos sitting in your living room watching him live? I find it very scary that parents think it's ok for an 8yr old to post videos on YouTube!!

in your terms then you should be horrified if your kids were offered a spot on the xmas Toy Show?

siobhan1983

silverharp wrote: »

in your terms then you should be horrified if your kids were offered a spot on the xmas Toy Show?

You are missing my point! The toy show is a once off show! Each to their own where this is concerned but I just hope your son does not get the nasty comments the OP's son gets and can deal with the consequences of them if he does. Good luck

Mzo1978

So I went to the school as it started from there. Blessed with a brilliant Principal and staff. They were horrified at the things that were said calling him a retard is one thing I can explain but telling him to go suck d... was one I had to sit and explain as he just thought why would anyone say that it's just weird but that's the innocence a 10 year old should have The school were disgusted and I got in contact with one of the mams who was not only horified and disgusted but totally on the same page as me regarding such things so I wasn't fighting a losing battle. She said her son went through similar recently and she was so annoyed that he would make someone feel the way he felt after mean things were said. The school are contacting the other parents as they don't speak English and I didnt get in contact with them.

Other boys in his class approached him in school and said they seen what was said thankfully these boys are getting decent upbringings and all said it was just jealousy and no one joined in or liked the bad comments.

The school are rolling out a big anti bullying campaign which will cover online bullying with the guards giving talks and the principal said it will be quite gruesome and it will show the very bad side of nasty comments and what they can do to people he will get that in September in 5th class. As the principal said if parents don't follow up he is fighting a losing battle. I get notifications to my phone ever time someone writes on my son's channel and he's not allowed online on his playstation unless his dad is in our sitting room and hook it up to his friends etc but the principal said most kids have free reign which is shocking. He's out playing football with 3 of his class friends that came down for a few hours I'm just blessed we have a close knit family and he comes and talks to us if something is bothering him thanks for all the comments