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Baby shower - help!

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  • 02-06-2017 10:59am
    #1
    RhubarbCrumble
    Closed Accounts Posts: 3,174 ✭✭✭


    My friend is due her baby in a couple of months and her sister has organised a baby shower next month and asked me to come. I've never been to one before and I haven't a clue what the correct protocol is.
    Am I supposed to bring a present? For the baby or for the Mum to be? Food or drink etc?
    Apologies if this sounds like a silly question, but I'm a complete novice when it comes to baby showers.


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    #2
    xzanti
    Moderators, Entertainment Moderators Posts: 10,439 Mod ✭✭✭✭xzanti


    God I hate these things. They're so American, I wish they'd stayed over there tbh.

    I've been invited to a few, and generally you bring something for the baby. I guess if you want you could bring something for the Mother.

    I'm pregnant and I've warned my friends and family not to have one for me, I know I might sound like a miserable fecker and I don't care.

    I couldn't imagine anything more uncomfortable than sitting there opening peoples gifts in front of them, while people are snapping photos of me at my pregnantest*. Shudder.

    That's just me though.


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    #3
    Neyite
    Administrators, Politics Moderators, Society & Culture Moderators Posts: 25,947 Admin ✭✭✭✭✭Neyite


    Not a fan of the american style showers tbh. But some time ago on Boards I read about someone who's sister was having a shower but you were only allowed to bring your favourite childhood book as a gift. As an avid reader I loved that idea of a starter library for children. That's a baby shower I could get on board with. It seems less..grabby and more about passing on a lovely tradition /memory to a child.

    I've recently started to look up old classics for my child. Currently reading the Velveteen Rabbit which I got really cheap on Amazon.


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    #4
    jlm29
    Registered Users Posts: 3,818 ✭✭✭jlm29


    Any baby shower I've been asked to, it's been specified one way or another by whoever did the inviting. I've only been asked to two (neither of which I went to) but I think for one I was told no gift, and for the other, something very small. It seems to be more about a social gathering and a few cheesy games than grabbery.
    It's a bit much expecting a big present, because it's not like you're going to rock up to visit the new baby with your hands hanging.
    One of my friends wanted to organise one for me last time I was pregnant, and asked my mother about it. Thankfully my mother shares my feelings on these things, and told her I probably wouldn't show up.


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    #5
    Jess the deli girl
    Registered Users Posts: 2 ✭Jess the deli girl


    jlm29 wrote: »
    Any baby shower I've been asked to, it's been specified one way or another by whoever did the inviting. I've only been asked to two (neither of which I went to) but I think for one I was told no gift, and for the other, something very small. It seems to be more about a social gathering and a few cheesy games than grabbery.
    It's a bit much expecting a big present, because it's not like you're going to rock up to visit the new baby with your hands hanging.
    One of my friends wanted to organise one for me last time I was pregnant, and asked my mother about it. Thankfully my mother shares my feelings on these things, and told her I probably wouldn't show up.

    Personally, if it was me I'd do it for the social element. I know when I was getting married a few girls threw a small party for me. And I requested no gifts or if they used it as a time to give me they were to be discreet , not to make others obligated. However my dilemma at the moment is one of my friends is pregnant. I wanted to throw a gathering at my house , I love baking etc. But I was told the girls from dublin wouldn't come , that I'd be better organising a meal down there. So this results in us having to travel and pay for a meal . I'd considered the idea of afternoon tea so we wouldn't have to stay over night . I found one that does it for 25 eur a head . However when I started a group chat to see how her family and other close friends would feel I discovered her and her mam had already set a date. The mam then proceeded to tell us about a hotel that charges 50 eur a head. Am I wrong to think this is steep for sandwiches and buns and also cheeky to be expected to pay it as well as travel and that's before a gift ? Sorry it's a long rant . My friend said she wants something classy and won't go somewhere cheap, although she's not paying


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    #6
    Big Bag of Chips
    Administrators Posts: 14,034 Admin ✭✭✭✭✭Big Bag of Chips


    You don't have to go. People think an invitation is a summons. If others were able to say a specific place or time or day didn't suit them then you are allowed do the same.


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    #7
    Jess the deli girl
    Registered Users Posts: 2 ✭Jess the deli girl


    Big Bag of Chips wrote: »
    You don't have to go. People think an invitation is a summons. If others were able to say a specific place or time or day didn't suit them then you are allowed do the same.

    I wasn't actually invited


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    #8
    LincolnHawk
    Registered Users Posts: 364 ✭✭LincolnHawk


    I'd give a small voucher. I hate the idea of presents and baby clothes sitting there if something went wrong with the birth


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    #9
    Big Bag of Chips
    Administrators Posts: 14,034 Admin ✭✭✭✭✭Big Bag of Chips


    Jess the deli girl wrote: »
    I wasn't actually invited

    So why are you worrying about how much it'll cost then?


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    #10
    bee06
    Registered Users Posts: 4,514 ✭✭✭bee06


    Jess the deli girl wrote: »
    Personally, if it was me I'd do it for the social element. I know when I was getting married a few girls threw a small party for me. And I requested no gifts or if they used it as a time to give me they were to be discreet , not to make others obligated. However my dilemma at the moment is one of my friends is pregnant. I wanted to throw a gathering at my house , I love baking etc. But I was told the girls from dublin wouldn't come , that I'd be better organising a meal down there. So this results in us having to travel and pay for a meal . I'd considered the idea of afternoon tea so we wouldn't have to stay over night . I found one that does it for 25 eur a head . However when I started a group chat to see how her family and other close friends would feel I discovered her and her mam had already set a date. The mam then proceeded to tell us about a hotel that charges 50 eur a head. Am I wrong to think this is steep for sandwiches and buns and also cheeky to be expected to pay it as well as travel and that's before a gift ? Sorry it's a long rant . My friend said she wants something classy and won't go somewhere cheap, although she's not paying

    I'm confused. How did this turn from a small gathering in your house with a few friends to essentials a hen party version of a baby shower complete with hotel stay that you weren't even invited to?

    Expecting travel and overnight stays is beyond crazy. Can ye not do a local on at your house and the Dublin girls can do their own thing for her in Dublin.


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    #11
    Sunny Dayz
    Registered Users Posts: 5,382 ✭✭✭Sunny Dayz


    In my group of friends, for any of us having kids, we've just had a small gathering at one of our houses, or in a quiet part of a cafor some nibbles and plenty of time to chat and catch up. We don't do presents, decorations, games or anything like that.


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