Do you have sympathy for male 'incels (involuntary celibates)?

tomwaterford

Candie wrote: »

I feel sorry for some, maybe even most of them. Many of them seem to have desperately low self esteem and so many problems relating normally to people that I'd imagine there are some kind of functional issues at play.

I don't feel sorry for some of them, who advocate rape and say things like they wish all women died horribly, or that even the sound of a woman laughing makes him want to kill her. Obviously some of the guys who say this kind of thing are ill, but some of them are so fuelled by hate that they're dangerous, and it's hard to feel sorry for someone who poses a danger to you simply because you're a woman.

You would wonder how realistic are they??


Are they just weird anomaly of keyboard warriors like...playing up to sound tough-for want of a better word??


.they. cant hate women that much....chances are they have sisters,female cousins etc theyd be close to/good mates with

RDM_83 again

tomwaterford wrote: »

You would wonder how realistic are they??


Are they just weird anomaly of keyboard warriors like...playing up to sound tough-for want of a better word??


.they. cant hate women that much....chances are they have sisters,female cousins etc theyd be close to/good mates with

Its a tiny "community" among a vast population, I am sure some of them are trolls but statistically if your look at a site thats the 4th most popular in the world some users will be genuinely messed up dangerous people.

Glenster

RDM_83 again wrote: »

Its a tiny "community" among a vast population, I am sure some of them are trolls but statistically if your look at a site thats the 4th most popular in the world some users will be genuinely messed up dangerous people.

They sound like they're all trolls tbf.

I've met thousands of people in my life, and a lot of pricks, and none of them have espoused views even close to this.

Widdershins

Yes I'd have sympathy for someone who couldn't ever have sex because they have something 'wrong' with them. I'd rather not eat than not have sex. It would be a miserable life.

Giving it a name seems strange to me.

Glenster

Widdershins wrote: »

I'd rather not eat than not have sex.

Thats a silly thing to say.

Widdershins

Glenster wrote: »

Thats a silly thing to say.

Why?

pumpkin4life

A few thoughts:

I think the increase in obesity rates is screwing up the dating scene, especially in relation to women. There's also the increase in online pornography adding to all of this, but another thing that's interesting is that historically, 80% of women got to reproduce, compared to about 30-40% of men. Considering that society has become more equal between the sexes, the environmental impact is being ironed out and you're becoming increasingly left with the biological and genetic component, ie no intervention between families to get a couple married. So we're returning to some sort of scenario where a lot of men are getting most of the women.

Then you take these incel lads, they might be short or ugly or fat or baldies or aspergery and they are living in a society that is saturated with sex. Would drive them nuts id say, especially when you can retreat to an echo chamber.

Hopefully they're a very small minority, because you don't want a bunch of angry, half feral lads lol.

PucaMama

pumpkin4life wrote: »

A few thoughts:

I think the increase in obesity rates is screwing up the dating scene, especially in relation to women. There's also the increase in online pornography adding to all of this, but another thing that's interesting is that historically, 80% of women got to reproduce, compared to about 30-40% of men. Considering that society has become more equal between the sexes, the environmental impact is being ironed out and you're becoming increasingly left with the biological and genetic component, ie no intervention between families to get a couple married. So we're returning to some sort of scenario where a lot of men are getting most of the women.

Then you take these incel lads, they might be short or ugly or fat or baldies or aspergery and they are living in a society that is saturated with sex. Would drive them nuts id say, especially when you can retreat to an echo chamber.

Hopefully they're a very small minority, because you don't want a bunch of angry, half feral lads lol.

What has obesity got to do with angry little men like these? It's not the fat women's fault they can't get sex.

Also (not aimed at the comment I quoted) I think it's unwise to say half of them are trolls/messers etc as there's quite serious stuff on there that people can't afford to be complacent about. The talking about rape etc is not ok and shouldn't be tolerated.

pumpkin4life

PucaMama wrote: »

What has obesity got to do with angry little men like these? It's not the fat women's fault they can't get sex.

Also (not aimed at the comment I quoted) I think it's unwise to say half of them are trolls/messers etc as there's quite serious stuff on there that people can't afford to be complacent about. The talking about rape etc is not ok and shouldn't be tolerated.

Men on the whole are not attracted to fat women and women on the whole are not attracted to fat men. Though for men it be far more important like:

Estrogenic effect of excess abdominal fat also reduces testosterone which creates more incels. Fat women being less attractive (plus narcissism potentially from some incels) to men also kills the incentive for men to flirt and approach.

Supply and demand and all of that stuff.

JuliusCaesar

pumpkin4life wrote: »

historically, 80% of women got to reproduce, compared to about 30-40% of men.

Can you prove this? Any hard evidence?

pumpkin4life wrote: »

Men on the whole are not attracted to fat women

Really? Again, can you prove this?

PucaMama

pumpkin4life wrote: »

PucaMama wrote: »

What has obesity got to do with angry little men like these? It's not the fat women's fault they can't get sex.

Also (not aimed at the comment I quoted) I think it's unwise to say half of them are trolls/messers etc as there's quite serious stuff on there that people can't afford to be complacent about. The talking about rape etc is not ok and shouldn't be tolerated.

Men on the whole are not attracted to fat women and women on the whole are not attracted to fat men. Though for men it be far more important like:

Estrogenic effect of excess abdominal fat also reduces testosterone which creates more incels. Fat women being less attractive (plus narcissism potentially from some incels) to men also kills the incentive for men to flirt and approach.

Supply and demand and all of that stuff.

But what you and others fail to realise is women do not owe it to these "incels" to be attractive to them. I'm not attracted to every man who walks past me but I don't see an issue with that?

I was wondering how long it would take for it to be fat women's fault.

Ubbquittious

I do wonder what do the women do in places with a large amount of ""incels""? Do they have trouble getting down from the shelf as a result since there is roughly 1 man for every woman?

Do they drift around endlessly between the remaining "noncels" or "fucksels"?

Pac1Man

JuliusCaesar wrote: »

Really? Again, can you prove this?

You need proof of this??

You chopped off the second part of this sentence too for some reason:

pumpkin4life wrote: »

Men on the whole are not attracted to fat women and women on the whole are not attracted to fat men.

RDM_83 again

JuliusCaesar wrote: »

Can you prove this? Any hard evidence

I am not sure which evidence the OP would use but there is some pretty good evidence from DNA (mitochondrial and chromosomal) that a lot more maternal lineages survive than paternal lineages

Persephone kindness

I have been attracted to bigger men sometimes husky i mean ....it's more the guy ...sometimes they are just good looking or sexy


I am kinda small ..petite frame and i am pretty .... but lots of curvy girls would be more attractive than me so I don't think that is it...

So i disagree with what was said above.

Samaris

I avoid going onto those subreddits, I find them frankly disturbing. There's some guys in there sure, I'd feel sorry for, but there's an awful lot of dangerous nonsense in there as well. Some of those guys are getting themselves so twisted up in their own issues but don't seem to have the guts to figure out where their own approach is failing and instead go for the blame game.

It's both weird to be abstractly hated for what you are and weird to hate abstract concepts of half the bloody human race for what they are.

They're wasting their lives with being caught up in fear, pettiness and hatred and it will never make them happy. Poor (but dangerously deluded) sods.

Glenster

Widdershins wrote: »

Why?

Have you ever seen a malnourished person? Or someone starving to death?

Its a bit worse than someone who hasn't banged in a while.

Glenster

JuliusCaesar wrote: »

Really? Again, can you prove this?

I can anti-prove it.

By being a man who favours some cushion for the pushin'

Jim Bob Scratcher

Persephone kindness wrote: »

I have been attracted to bigger men sometimes husky i mean ....it's more the guy ...sometimes they are just good looking or sexy


I am kinda small ..petite frame and i am pretty .... but lots of curvy girls would be more attractive than me so I don't think that is it...

So i disagree with what was said above.

What do you want big muscly men for ? Don't ya have condoms ? that's all the protection you need :pac:

Widdershins

Glenster wrote: »

Have you ever seen a malnourished person? Or someone starving to death?

Its a bit worse than someone who hasn't banged in a while.

Personally I would miss sex more than food if I went without for a while. I only eat to live, I'm not a foodie person. I didn't mean I'd literally choose to starve to death rather than be celibate if I had to choose. But it would be out of necessity rather than preference that I'd choose food.

It wasn't meant to demean people who are starving.

LadyMacBeth_

Now that's a tough dilemma, food or sex. Being a big fan of both, I suppose it would depend on how hungry I was :P

kunst nugget

LadyMacBeth_ wrote: »

Now that's a tough dilemma, food or sex. Being a big fan of both, I suppose it would depend on how hungry I was :P

I combine both and use a jar filled with liver for my onanistic exercises.

Glenster

Widdershins wrote: »

Personally I would miss sex more than food if I went without for a while. I only eat to live, I'm not a foodie person. I didn't mean I'd literally choose to starve to death rather than be celibate if I had to choose. But it would be out of necessity rather than preference that I'd choose food.

It wasn't meant to demean people who are starving.

I don't think you demeaned anyone.

If the point you were making was that its preferable to have sex rather than food right now, with the understanding that you could try and get food or sex later on if you wanted, I'd agree with you.

Yourself isit

Glenster wrote: »

I don't think you demeaned anyone.

If the point you were making was that its preferable to have sex rather than food right now, with the understanding that you could try and get food or sex later on if you wanted, I'd agree with you.

That wouldn't be much of an argument.

Clearly food is more important. Try giving up food for a year.

koumi

no, it just constitutes enabling them. Had one in my life for a long time and it has been an exhausting soul destroying experience.

Mister Vain

Widdershins wrote: »

Yes I'd have sympathy for someone who couldn't ever have sex because they have something 'wrong' with them. I'd rather not eat than not have sex. It would be a miserable life.

Giving it a name seems strange to me.

I think there is some solace for people if there is a name for it and knowing that there is a cohort of others who are essentially in the the same boat. It makes things easier for them.

RabbleRouser2k

PucaMama wrote: »

But what you and others fail to realise is women do not owe it to these "incels" to be attractive to them. I'm not attracted to every man who walks past me but I don't see an issue with that?

I was wondering how long it would take for it to be fat women's fault.

About two years ago, on the local radio station, the host was discussing the dating scene and if it was more or less difficult now for people to go out on dates.
(She is married, so she didn't know the current scene).

Someone texted in 'It sure is-even the Fat girls are picky'...can't believe she read that out. Tbh, I laughed.

Some guys like chubby girls, some girls like skinny girls-and some like inbetween girls.
I've even heard one lady tell me she liked guys with a bit more meat on their bones - and I knew her boyfriend, and he was kinda stocky. (I think the comment came from watching Home and Away, it was just on the tv and she found this one guy too thin/ too fond of the gym.)

PucaMama

RabbleRouser2k wrote: »

PucaMama wrote: »

But what you and others fail to realise is women do not owe it to these "incels" to be attractive to them. I'm not attracted to every man who walks past me but I don't see an issue with that?

I was wondering how long it would take for it to be fat women's fault.

About two years ago, on the local radio station, the host was discussing the dating scene and if it was more or less difficult now for people to go out on dates.
(She is married, so she didn't know the current scene).

Someone texted in 'It sure is-even the Fat girls are picky'...can't believe she read that out. Tbh, I laughed.

Some guys like chubby girls, some girls like skinny girls-and some like inbetween girls.
I've even heard one lady tell me she liked guys with a bit more meat on their bones - and I knew her boyfriend, and he was kinda stocky. (I think the comment came from watching Home and Away, it was just on the tv and she found this one guy too thin/ too fond of the gym.)

It's almost as if people think fat people aren't as deserving of happy relationships.... seriously I'm not a small woman, and I have preferences, and why not! Do I expect every man to like me?? No! So I shouldn't be expected not to be picky if I was single

dublinman1990

I tried to read the subreddit myself but I can't access it because you can only read it while being given an invite; e.g. it is a private thread.

But that doesn't matter either way for me. I'm not that bothered in not reading it.

As a man, from what I have read in this thread so far, I feel that these guys who advocate in doing really horrible things to any woman affected in this subreddit are very mentally unstable in their own heads. They need a lot of proper understanding & life changing advice in their lives from other sensible thinking people who will try to bring some positivity in how & why life is treating them in this way.

I, for the life of me, can't understand how these people live a good life at all. Their circumstances in how they got to this point is probably extremely complex and disturbing to a huge degree will probably describe how they can't get a long lasting relationship or worse. There is not one ounce of positivity in what was quoted in this thread which does not aspire me to be sympathetic to their needs or desires.

I think these needs or desires in doing the horrendous things described to any woman is a fundamental lost cause.

They need to be treated in a mental hospital right now if one was available to them with or without jail time in a prison cell.

wakka12

They dont want sympathy, they dont want to better themselves, they just want to complain and talk about how hard their lives are. Just look around on the street, there are so so many butt ugly people in relationships, if you cant find a single person who will want to date you its either because you have unrealistic goals or else are completely scaring people with your disturbing personality. Not saying this is why many on there are 'incel' but a huge amount, the majority even, suffer from autism

Most of them are young middle class guys aged 16-24 from mostly western countries, and Ive seen pictures of many of them, very very few of them are conventionally ugly. A lot are decent to attractive looking even