Do you have sympathy for male 'incels (involuntary celibates)?

jeanjolie

GritBiscuit wrote: »

There are plenty of people who are less than attractive, less than mentally stable and with less than a fully functional relationship track record who are not celibate, which would suggest these aren't actually the issue...

The thing is I believe there's a double standard here. If someone in their mid 30s-40s was to say that they couldn't find a job, 95% of us would naturally assume that they meant a 'decent well paying job'. Not a low fast food job that doesn't pay anything. Sure, they could get a job at McDonalds and perhaps if they adjusted (really lowered the bar) of their lifestyle then they could 'get along fine' but people have standards.

In the same way that when someone says they are an 'involuntary celibate' they mean they cannot have sex with a decent, non-dsyfunctional, middle class nice girl with the level of ease that others do. They're not talking about not being able to get the girl from North Dublin with green and black hair or even if she does look and dress decently, has a dysfunctional family with a father who makes his presence known in every room of the house and the mother with emotional problems.

It's standards. That's all it is really.

osarusan

People who use the label for themselves would be the first to rail against 'identity politics', no doubt.

Galwayguy35

Learn a new word every day, never heard of an incel before today.

It's nothing new, there will always be some lads who maybe because they have no confidence to approach women or to be blunt fell out of the ugly tree will never pop their cherry unless they pay for it.

Which is easy enough to organise these days in fairness since the internet arrived.


Then there are a few weirdos who just hate women and want to hurt them because they think it's unfair they can't get laid, you got a future serial killer there.

c_man

jeanjolie wrote: »

It's a big thing on Reddit and the overall Red Pill. I wanted to post it in 'The Gentlemans Club' but I think that it's too specific and wanted to know how the average boardsie user thought of these guys.

They need to get off the internet.

El_Duderino 09

jeanjolie wrote: »

The thing is I believe there's a double standard here. If someone in their mid 30s-40s was to say that they couldn't find a job, 95% of us would naturally assume that they meant a 'decent well paying job'. Not a low fast food job that doesn't pay anything. Sure, they could get a job at McDonalds and perhaps if they adjusted (really lowered the bar) of their lifestyle then they could 'get along fine' but people have standards.

In the same way that when someone says they are an 'involuntary celibate' they mean they cannot have sex with a decent, non-dsyfunctional, middle class nice girl with the level of ease that others do. They're not talking about not being able to get the girl from North Dublin with green and black hair or even if she does look and dress decently, has a dysfunctional family with a father who makes his presence known in every room of the house and the mother with emotional problems.

It's standards. That's all it is really.

I'm not sure whether you meant to give away as much insight into you're own prejudices. That second paragraph is full of info about prejudices and sense of self importance. If that's any way indicative of the incels, then I'd have little sympathy.

It sounds like these fellas have watched too many Hollywood movies and expect Jennifer Aniston to suddenly realise he was The One this whole time. You make them sound like helpless little princesses waiting for their Prince Charming to rescue them.

Fanny Wank

I'm of the opinion that if an acronym needs to be defined it shouldn't be used

I hate this bolloxology of shortening everything

Birneybau

Noveight wrote: »

Seems like an completely unnecessary labeling.

It's modern toss

GritBiscuit

jeanjolie wrote: »

The thing is I believe there's a double standard here. If someone in their mid 30s-40s was to say that they couldn't find a job, 95% of us would naturally assume that they meant a 'decent well paying job'. Not a low fast food job that doesn't pay anything. Sure, they could get a job at McDonalds and perhaps if they adjusted (really lowered the bar) of their lifestyle then they could 'get along fine' but people have standards.

In the same way that when someone says they are an 'involuntary celibate' they mean they cannot have sex with a decent, non-dsyfunctional, middle class nice girl with the level of ease that others do. They're not talking about not being able to get the girl from North Dublin with green and black hair or even if she does look and dress decently, has a dysfunctional family with a father who makes his presence known in every room of the house and the mother with emotional problems.

It's standards. That's all it is really.

In that case they can stop with the stupid self labelling of "involuntary celibates" and start accepting they lack the tools &/or social skills to pull the kind of girl they assume they deserve...

The whole "can't have sex with" thing is beyond creepy. These are people we are talking about. Sex is an act someone chooses to share with you, chooses to share their body with you. I'd guarantee reeking of embittered self-entitlement to such a degree that appears universally undeserving is the real hurdle here. Maybe instead of concentrating on what they're not getting, these guys need to focus on what they're giving...because the mind-set you describe is less attractive than a life in McDonald's employment or that girl from N. Dublin apparently should be...ironically, I suspect the issue is "standards" on both sides...

If the reason you don't have a job or a girlfriend is your standards then you're not 'involuntary' anything.

Choc Chip

jeanjolie wrote: »

when someone says they are an 'involuntary celibate' they mean they cannot have sex with a decent, non-dsyfunctional, middle class nice girl with the level of ease that others do. They're not talking about not being able to get the girl from North Dublin with green and black hair or even if she does look and dress decently, has a dysfunctional family with a father who makes his presence known in every room of the house and the mother with emotional problems.

It's standards. That's all it is really.

Wow. I wasn't aware of the venacular but that's the reason they can't get laid right there. I'd have zero interest in someone who thought that they were above other people based on their socioeconomic status.

I'd also expect someone to take a job in mcdonalds to tide themselves over if they were really skint. Life doesn't owe you anything.

Yourself isit

The label is dumb. Apparently there are 1.5M single people in ireland. We can hardly label them all as involuntary celibates. And the solution is obvious enough.

Yourself isit

Choc Chip wrote: »

Wow. I wasn't aware of the venacular but that's the reason they can't get laid right there. I'd have zero interest in someone who thought that they were above other people based on their socioeconomic status.

I'd also expect someone to take a job in mcdonalds to tide themselves over if they were really skint. Life doesn't owe you anything.

Eh. The entire assumption here is based on the idea that there are working class women freely available (why?) but there are middle class men refusing to engage with them.

Its basically evidence free.

bodice ripper

jeanjolie wrote:

Involuntary celibate

and

average white middle class woman

don't exist.

So when men can't get laid, it's "standards", when women can't get laid they must be deficient in some way?

That's a bit telling on your part isn't it?

One always gets the impression that some voluntary personal hygiene could go a long way in these cases.

lemd

suicide_circus wrote:

Life dosnt owe you sex

But you do owe sex your life

Choc Chip

Yourself isit wrote: »

Eh. The entire assumption here is based on the idea that there are working class women freely available (why?) but there are middle class men refusing to engage with them.

Its basically evidence free.

I agree with you. My reaction was to what they said was their viewpoint.

endacl

bodice ripper wrote: »

So when men can't get laid, it's "standards", when women can't get laid they must be deficient in some way?

That's a bit telling on your part isn't it?

Go easy. He's a teenager and hasn't much of a clue. He's figuring it out online.

endacl

endacl wrote: »

Go easy. He's a teenager and hasn't much of a clue. He's figuring it out online.

I remember being a teenager. I wasn't asking any of the ladies their socioeconomics

NinjaKirby

ceadaoin. wrote: »

When you have a look at their subreddit and see discussions advocating raping women, transitioning to a woman just to get sex or whether they should have sex with their own sister should the opportunity arise, it's hard to have sympathy for them. I think the fact that they are a bunch of weirdos explains why they are celibate, yet they choose to blame anyone but themselves

This definitely sounds like an internet rabbit hole I could sink a few hours into!

These people sound insane.

Do you have a link for their subreddit?

If they are anything like MGTOW then I expect some pretty intense and angry young men spouting total nonsense.

Hande hoche!

RDM_83 again wrote: »

Letting the mask slip a lot there, do you think radical feminists should also go top themselves, what' of the angry Asian males with the​ acronym I can't remember. Those groups also say loads of nasty sht

The Hapas are a unique bunch, remember doing a bit of reading on them after the Elliot Rodger's case.

https://www.reddit.com/r/hapas/

silverharp

jeanjolie wrote: »

It's a big thing on Reddit and the overall Red Pill.

so what does that mean, assuming mostly as US thing a few hundred or couple of thousand teenagers/men out of a population of tens of millions does not really a thing make. In the normal course of things one could go through life without ever hearing about furries or otherkin, yet thanks to the power of the internet a small number of people with outrageous views get to trend.

kunst nugget

RayM wrote: »

I have sympathy for anybody who's lonely, but my sympathy levels run a bit short when they start to blame everyone else for their predicament. Which is often the case with people who call themselves "incels".

They're always 'nice guys'. The problem is that all the attractive women can't see past the surface and are stuck up bitches that only like assholes… It's never anything to do with them because they're 'nice guys'.

ohnonotgmail

silverharp wrote: »

so what does that mean, assuming mostly as US thing a few hundred or couple of thousand teenagers/men out of a population of tens of millions does not really a thing make. In the normal course of things one could go through life without ever hearing about furries or otherkin, yet thanks to the power of the internet a small number of people with outrageous views get to trend.

Furries are so well known that CSI did an episode about them.

kunst nugget

ohnonotgmail wrote: »

Furries are so well known that CSI did an episode about them.

I guess they found them furry appealing…

•_•)

( •_•)>⌐■-■

(⌐■_■)

YYYYEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!

endacl

Deleted User wrote: »

I remember being a teenager. I wasn't asking any of the ladies their socioeconomics

There is a dollop of Dunning/Kruger effect going on too. It's funny.

silverharp

ohnonotgmail wrote: »

Furries are so well known that CSI did an episode about them.

sure but before the internet this would have been a Louis Theroux documentary ..and in our next episode men that are sexually attracted to cars :pac:

Hande hoche!

ohnonotgmail wrote: »

Furries are so well known that CSI did an episode about them.

The SVU episode on Redchan was hilarious.

LordSutch

Infidels & celibates, what's this all about

Atoms for Peace

They seem to be a self entitled bunch with a total lack of empathy.

jeanjolie

Choc Chip wrote: »

Wow. I wasn't aware of the venacular but that's the reason they can't get laid right there. I'd have zero interest in someone who thought that they were above other people based on their socioeconomic status.

Why not? I'm sure you've met someone who thinks like that. Would you break up with a man if you found out that he thought of himself 'above' others like this?

Choc Chip wrote: »

I'd also expect someone to take a job in mcdonalds to tide themselves over if they were really skint. Life doesn't owe you anything.

relationship/sex wise or in general?