Extremely cranky 14 week old - help!

waterfaerie

My lovely, easy going baby has suddenly become so cranky that I don't know what to do anymore and I desperately need help!

She's 14 weeks old and it started about a week ago. She's always been the type to cry very easily but she would calm instantly once I did whatever it was she needed and I could always figure it out really quickly. For the past week, she's just impossible to calm and sometimes ends up totally screaming. It started off with her just being a bit cranky but it's getting worse and worse every day.

Now, I know she is teething because she's drooling everywhere, chewing her hand and I can see the two teeth inside her gum, not too far from the top now. However, I'm not sure if that's the only problem.

I wonder if it could be a leap or something as well? She's been through three leaps already and a couple of growth spurts but I've had nothing as extreme as this.

There seems to be two main things that set her off, feeding and nap times.

She doesn't do it for every feed but sometimes she will feed for just a couple of minutes and then pull off, screaming. I keep trying to put her back on and she acts like she's really starving and really wants it but then she pulls off again. I thought it was wind but I don't think so anymore because winding her doesn't stop the screaming. I know I have enough milk, in fact, I'm having to express milk because she's not taking all of it. This problem happens at least three or four times a day, usually when she's extra tired.

The tiredness is becoming a massive problem. She actually sleeps really well at night (I'm nearly afraid to keep saying that now in case it changes!). However, she's just totally fighting sleep during the day. I normally rock her to sleep but this week, any time I start to rock her she has a huge tantrum. I try to persevere as much as I can but there's only so much screaming I can cope with so I often give up and let her play again but then she ends up so exhausted that she's rubbing her eyes, yawning and even rubbing her whole face frantically against my chest but she still won't sleep.

After we finally get her asleep, when she first wakes up from a nap she usually feeds well. Then she plays and interacts for a while. She's smiling and babbling away. We change her nappy then and give her some nappy free time, which she loves. Then when it's time for her to sleep again the trouble starts. She usually seems to want another feed before a nap and that's usually when the feeding goes badly. I've tried putting her asleep with and without the feed but it's the same and always ends in screaming.

Also, sometimes she gets cranky and shows signs of tiredness after only being awake for 20 minutes or so, when we would normally get between 70-90 minutes out of her.

I'm finding myself questioning everything I'm doing and feeling a bit hopeless about the fact that I can't seem to read her anymore and don't know what's wrong. It's awful having her crying and not knowing how to help her. Also, everyone keeps saying babies are easier after the first 3 months so I'm feeling a bit miserable that mine is the opposite. If anyone can offer any insight I'd be so grateful!

bp

Could you be eating something she disagrees with or drinking something? If the morning feed is going ok then maybe something has cleared from your system.

Could also be teeth that feeding hurts. At about 16 weeks they get a settled sleep routine - this is when a gentle sleep method maybe introduced - into cot sleepy but awake, and then rubbing head etc and reducing contact (but no crying). She may also be too tired. The first nap should be within 90 minutes of waking. I was very sceptical of this but used a sleep consultant and it worked! Anything after six am is wake up time, so out of bed and down stairs for a feed then back in bed within 90 minutes. I didn't believe it would work but so did!

scarepanda

Could she be starting to actually cut her teeth through? Have you been giving her anything for her gums? Iv found teetha brilliant, although you do need to be proactive with it, giving it to baby before they get really bothered by their gums. You will know the signs.

Have you the wonder weeks app? Iv just checked it there and around 13 weeks is a stormy period and at 14.5 weeks another leap is starting. So it could be a mixture of everything.

As usual, the best advice I got from boards, especially in the early weeks is that it is just a phase and it will pass. Although I know it's hard when your in the middle of it.
The only other thing I would say is to not fight her about going to sleep during the day. I have a brilliant night time/bad day time sleeper here and Iv always found that if I try push her to go asleep when she doesn't want to and is fighting me, I get stressed and she gets cranky for the rest of the day. If I try get her to sleep and she doesn't want to I'll stop, play with her etc and then try her again a few minutes later after things have settled down and it usually works.

waterfaerie

Thanks bp.

I don't think it's anything I'm eating or drinking as my diet hasn't changed and this is a new problem.

I think you're right about the feeding hurting. She was doing a lot of gum rubbing today.

I also think you're right about her being too tired, but I don't know why that's happening.

I've been trying really hard to make sure she's not awake for more than 90 minutes. We don't have a routine because I'm doing everything baby led so I just watch for her tired cues. If it's sooner than 90 minutes I go with that but if it gets to 90 minutes I try to put her asleep then anyway. Up until recently, she would just drop off in a couple of minutes with no fuss.

This week, that's just not working. I try after 90 minutes or sooner if she shows tired signs but, because it takes so long to get her asleep, she sometimes ends up being awake for much longer.

waterfaerie

Thanks scarepanda.

I don't really know how to tell if the teeth are about to cut through. I can see them there in her gums and they look to be nearly at the top but I have no idea how quickly they move? The gums are not broken or anything.

I hadn't heard of teetha but I'll look into it, thanks. She definitely is already bothered by the gums, though.

I have been so tempted to not fight her but the few times I have given in and let her play for longer she's been even worse. Tomorrow I might try that again and see what happens.

I don't have the app but I often read about the wonder weeks online. Does this sound like it could be leap 4 starting a bit early?

I just worry because the other babies I encounter who are a similar age don't seem to be as unsettled her. If this is what the leaps are like, would you not see all the babies like this? Is this type of crying normal? I really hope it is just a phase!

bp

Wonder week app is great. It is based on due date not actual birth date. Was the baby early/ late?

scarepanda

My lo had awful problems between 9 & 18ish weeks and it was all down to teeth. I remember being at a get together in my friend's house when she was 10 weeks old and she roared and roared and the house full of people. It didn't matter what I did, feed her, wind her, the usual things that would calm her down, but nothing would work. I knew her teeth were at her but the following Monday I went into town and got teetha gel ( we since use the granules) and learned her tells and gave her the gel whenever she needed it. She cut her first tooth at 29 weeks and we didn't even know she had it cut for a day or two! I was expecting her to have an awful time cutting her teeth, but so far, apart from a slight bit of nappy rash, we wouldn't know she's cutting them. Some people don't like using teetha gel because it's a herbal (?) Type remedy, but my lo was so young when she started teething we didn't want to give her calpol till she really needed it.

I'd keep an eye out for her tells that she's getting tired and put her to bed as soon as you can once you see them so that she doesn't get over tired. If she fights you then distract her for a few minutes and try again. I also have a tune I sing to her every nap time that she now has made a connection to sleepy time. I'm no expert, but that's just what Iv learned with my lo. It's just not worth the fight, so I leave it and try again later.

As for the leap, every baby is different. My lo had it rough the first two or three leaps, but now we wouldn't even know she's going through one. Download the app and see what it says and whether your daughter is showing any of the signs.

waterfaerie

She was a week early but she seems to be a bit ahead rather than behind. She's hit each of the previous leaps slightly early, I think.

waterfaerie

Scarepanda, did you know for sure it was just the teething? I keep thinking there must be more to it but maybe that is all it is. Although, I just can't believe she'd be this badly affected unless the teeth were coming soon.

Was your daughter like that every day for 9 weeks or did it come and go?

scarepanda

Well we knew she was starting to teeth from about 9 weeks. After the episode in my friend's house I went into the chemist to see if there was anything to give her, and he advised that teetha gel was the only thing suitable other than calpol. Once I started giving her the gel she was generally in better form. I quickly learned how to keep an eye out for her tells and keep ahead of the symptoms. She used to do this weird lip smacking thing when they were starting to bother her, so I'd give her the gel then.

I can't really remember properly, but she would have phases of being irritable. Some days were worse than others. But it could be any time of the day. You said earlier that she is only irritable at bed/nap time?

I thought we would have an awful time of it when she was actually cutting her teeth through, but we were very lucky that she had no issues at all, other than a bit of nappy rash - no drooling, Rosey cheeks etc etc etc. They were sitting under the skin for a good few weeks before cutting through so we knew they were coming. She started teething at 9 weeks and cut her first one at 29.

waterfaerie

Thanks, it's really helpful to hear your story.

scarepanda wrote: »

I can't really remember properly, but she would have phases of being irritable. Some days were worse than others. But it could be any time of the day. You said earlier that she is only irritable at bed/nap time?

Well she's quite cranky in general really, especially compared to before, but it only seems to get extreme when she's tired during the day.

waterfaerie

Just to update, it was definitely a leap. I just can't believe the things she's able to do now!

Her teeth still bother her and she can still be a bit cranky at times, but no more screaming and we can calm her quickly. She's also settling really easily for naps again, thankfully.

Thanks for the advice and reassurance. You were right Scarepanda about the best advice being to realise that they go through phases and that they pass.

I think I'm going to stop looking at the wonder weeks thing. If things get a bit difficult when she's not supposed to be "due" a leap I start wondering what's wrong. I suppose some babies don't follow the schedule and she's just developing at her own pace. Next time she gets fussy, I'm going to remember that it's probably a leap and not worry if the weeks don't line up.

margo321

at thay age approx mine limed to be put in cot alone before she got too worked up. i thought is was so sad but i thknk mayne they get overwhelmed or something. i would peep in amd she would just lay there awake vut content.