Fears of breakdown

WorriedSicked

Hi,

I have severe OCD and Autism, as well as anxiety, phobias, schizophrenia etc.

I have become obsessed with multiple people before, all of which obsessions ended up in me being admitted to a psychiatric hospital, and, in one case, imprisoned for a few months.

The people who I have become obsessed with were threatened by me, and I had extremely unpleasant thoughts, I won't go into details for fear of disturbing some users.

The trouble is, I have developed a new obsession for another person, Lucy Fallon from Coronation Street. The "thoughts" have come back, and I feel myself traveling into a downward spiral of loss of control again. I fear for my own safety and the other individual's safety.

These obsessions take the course as follows: I "fancy" the person and fantasise about them. I subsequently attempt to confront my feelings to the person in question, usually by email, I would then try and meet them. I feel that this could be the case with Fallon.

I don't know what I can do about this newfound obsession with Fallon.

Can anybody offer any advice on the new obsession?

Sorry for the long post and thanks.

Lead

If it gets a dangerous as you've described in the past then you need to go see a doc asap and explain what's going on. You may need to check in somewhere again but that's better than being a danger to people or being locked up. Please get help asap.

_Whimsical_

That's good advice from Lead, please do get help. If you do so early it hopefully won't spiral of of your control. You're demonstrating good insight and self awareness here to recognise that these thoughts are not healthy. That's a very good start, it is process whether you realise it or not . If you can get help now I think you can really nip it in the bud and having the experience of managing this compulsion successfully once will be a very positive step for your future and gaining increasing control over your thoughts. It's a very tough problem. The symptoms are different that a physical illness but it's no less difficult for you or no less important that you get any help you can now.

What kind of help usually brings you back?

WorriedSicked

But what about Fallon itself?

_Whimsical_

WorriedSicked wrote: »

But what about Fallon itself?

She's not the issue though. If you get help she'll fade back into being just a character in at show for you. In the meantime stop watching her on TV, don't Google her, definitely don't make any form of contact. Just concentrate on you. You are the one with the problem who needs and deserves help. She's perfect fine.

WorriedSicked

Could Fallon be aware of this thread and can she be made aware? She is 21. I am 25.

WorriedSicked

Please answer. Can she be made aware and could she be already be aware? If I were to contact her and discuss this with her, would this be helpful and how would you say she would feel?

Big Bag of Chips

Why would you want to let her know that you are obsessed with her and would like to "confront" her in person. All that is likely to do is scare her and put provisions in place to ensure you can't get near her.

Is your intention to scare her?

I think you need to go speak to your psych team and be honest about your new obsession and ask their help and advice. Nobody here is qualified to advise you.

WorriedSicked

She is 21. I love her so I do not want to scare her. What makes you think she would not be sympathetic?

Gregor Samsa

WorriedSicked wrote: »

She is 21. I love her so I do not want to scare her. What makes you think she would not be sympathetic?

Her age is immaterial.

You do not love her, you are obsessed with her and there is a world of difference.

She would not be sympathetic because there is no way that she will want to deal with the unsolicited obsessive attention of a complete stranger. No one at all would want to deal with that.

She is not aware of this thread because the chances of her happening to be browsing in the Personal Issues section of boards.ie today is definitely zero. She should not be made aware of this thread, because it will scare and disturb her.

You show insight into your condition, which is positive. See a medical professional immediately before this gets out of control and you end up in trouble or causing trouble.

Good luck, and I hope you get the help that you need.

Gregor Samsa

You need to seek urgent medical help. These are delusional thoughts. She is doing nothing wrong, she is doing nothing to you, she does not deserve to be punished, you should not contact her. Contact your psychiatric team immediately, get the help you need to get through this. I wish you well.

GingerLily

OP I genuinely don't, in your current mental state, that your safe for normal society, it's not too late to seek help and stop this before it goes too far.

Gorgeousgeorge

Go see a doctor

Neyite

Mod:

I'm locking this. OP please seek professional help, as the help you need is beyond what people on the internet can give you.

All the best.