Having second baby and freaked out!

Peonygrace

I just needed to put this in words, somewhere.

I delivered my first baby naturally with gas and air and a really really long and intense labour - baby was OP and I was a 2cm up until 2 mins before delivering, when I went from 2 to 10...the contractions were strong and regular from the get go...it was really intense and not something I am looking forward to repeating.

I was delighted to stick to my birth plan but as I am at 30 weeks now, the fear is starting to kick in and I'm finding myself going to the dark place of dark scenarios and remembering the experience.

I have the dreads.

Also, I had an infection of the womb after baby and all sorts of issues with feeding and lost a lot of weight and all my stamina, and it really took me a long time to recover physically from the whole thing. I am really feeling quite dreading of the whole thing now which I haven't felt up until this point. I also feel guilty for having the dreads.

I know I am blessed to have one healthy and wonderful son and I feel blessed again to have another smooth pregnancy so far. Counting my blessings but needed to acknowledge the fears.

That is all.

neonsofa

There is not much I can say but wanted to wish you all the best. Fears are natural and sometimes ignorance is bliss so I can see why the second one would be scarier, you know what to expect to an extent but still have fear of the unknown. Perfectly normal so don't feel bad. Look after yourself x

banoffe2

The very best of luck OP I had a very difficult birth with my first, same as you gas and air, nothing could have prepared me for it. Second baby, no problem, couldn't believe it, same with third. Fear can be paralysing if we give in to it.Keep us posted OP. X

ncmc

You should talk to your obstetrician about your fears. Most are pretty good and understanding. I think it's natural to be frightened when you know what's coming. Ignorance is bliss with your first! Maybe listening to some Gentle Birth CD's will help you to not focus on the bad bits. There is a Gentle Birth course you can do. Or maybe some sessions of pregnancy yoga will help you relax and focus.

But definitely talk to your doc. I had an emergency section on my first after being induced and found the whole emergency aspect very stressful. The recovery itself was fine so I talked to my doc and I'm booked in for an elective section next week. Now I know that's not for everyone, but I felt it was the right decision for me and I must say I like knowing how and when things are going to happen.

Best of luck with everything. Remember, no two pregnancies and births are the same. You could waltz through this one even though you had issues with the first.

shesty

ooooohhhhh......I could have written this. First baba came with no problems, gas and air, but the aftermath was a disaster - antibiotics, NICU, a week in hospital then a return to hospital the following week when I had a haemorrage and had to go back for a D&C.It wasn't good. I didn't realise it so much at the time, only in the months afterwards.

Second baba (last year) I was far more nervous than the first. And then I was nervous about being nervous! It was partly the hope that the birth itself would be as smooth as first time and knowing I had no control over that, and partly the fear of going back to the ickyness and the pain etc and partly the unknown afterbirth factor.

I have to tell you though - my contractions started at 37 weeks and the baba didn't arrive til 42. By the time I hit 40 weeks I was so fed up with being up half the night in "pseudo" labour and having to deal with a toddler in the morning, I was over worrying about the birth. She chose to arrive the morning I was scheduled for induction, the birth was smooth as anything (somewhat quicker), gas and air all the way, and I managed to do it upright, which I was very happy about - yes there was pain but honestly, it's a distant memory - and I was discharged the next day by a midwife who answered my 6 million questions and what ifs and reminded me gently that all births are different.

The really really hard part (for me) happened when I got home and realised I had two kids under two.

Your fears are so normal - don't feel guilty. Talk to your medical people and do your best to roll with it. All births really are different and the knowledge of your last birth that's giving you fear now can be used to your advantage when labour starts....you know what happened last time and you have a better idea now of what might work this time. Do a birth plan, leave it open but put some thought into what happened last time that you would like to do differently this time. Look into gentle birth - it's amazing and can help so much.

Best of luck and enjoy these last few weeks!

TresGats

Hi OP,
I could have written the first part of your post also, I had a very quick natural labour on my 1st, just the gas as everything happened so quickly, and although I had a beautiful baby to show for it, it was a bit intense, to put it nicely.
When I got pregnant on my second, I changed hospital in Dublin, as I heard they had better epidural rates, and every time I went on my visits I'd have to ask for re-assurance that I would be given an epidural/ better pain meds this time- It was a huge thing for me.

As for the second labour- my waters broke & I was admitted @ 39 weeks, and after a few days of manageable twangs they induced me. 2nd time around I had my supportive partner with me, and I moved around a lot more & felt more a part of the experience rather than part of an industrial line. Also second births are naturally easier than your first.

I think all pregnant women have fears over the baby's and their own health. I agree that you should talk to your medical care team about this, and they will help allay your fears. As others have said- no 2 births are the same - mine were 2 completely different experiences. Put your feet up these last few weeks and enjoy them, and good luck with the birth and welcoming baby no. 2 to your family.

cbyrd

I had a very traumatic birth 2.5 years ago. When I got pregnant again I was having flash backs and was very traumatised. Every maternity hospital has a pregnancy and birth counsellor that you can be linked in with. Speak to the midwives at your next appointment.

Hannibal_Smith

My first birth wasnt plain sailing. The second birth ended up being exactly the same. The difference was in the recovery period I was more open to asking for help the second time and admitting I was having a sh*t time of it. You can't foresee what will happen. But you can plan in saying you will ask for help and allow yourself as much time as you need to recover.

Skyfarm

Hi op

do you know there is a pregnancy thread, you can find it here

http://www.boards.ie/vbulletin/forumdisplay.php?f=1092
you might get the support/ information required in tandem with this thread

after three kids I know how freaked I used to get, thanks for sharing your worries, someday a person will look at your question and get solace from it

i wish you well