Airport Anxiety

Mutter123

Hi all.

I have an anxiety issue that makes travelling difficult for me, so I haven't done so in years. But now my friends are going to Holland and I think I'd really enjoy it and I see now that there are flights to Iceland from Cork which was one of my favourite places to visit. I thought I'd made my peace with the fact that I don't travel but I'm not sure anymore.
The problem is I have a terrible fear of strangers touching me. Even if I could remove all the metal from my person there is still the problem of those random pat downs.
Could anyone tell me how invasive are the pat downs in Cork airport? I might be able to get through it if I know what I'm dealing with. Also is it possible for me to simply refuse the search and go home? Less than ideal but it might be what I need to do.
Also what happens if airport security and/or customs notice that I'm nervous? I know that in America nervousness is considered a sign of guilt but I don't if this is the case in European airports. Any advice would be greatly appreciated.

Thank you.

Airyfairy12

They dont do pat downs anymore, they run a little metal detector around your body or they'll ask you to stand in this machine yoke that scans you from head to toe, you'll have to empty your pockets too and take off your shoes. Its not invasive at all. They won't do anything if you look nervous, once youve no drugs or bombs thats all theyre concerned about.

Zaph

Airyfairy12 wrote: »

They dont do pat downs anymore, they run a little metal detector around your body or they'll ask you to stand in this machine yoke that scans you from head to toe, you'll have to empty your pockets too and take off your shoes. Its not invasive at all. They won't do anything if you look nervous, once youve no drugs or bombs thats all theyre concerned about.

Not entirely true, I'm afraid. I have metal in my knee from a recent operation, and I flew last year from Dublin for the first time since it was put in. It set the metal detector off, and although the security guy was happy with my explanation of what set it off, he explained that he'd still have to frisk me. He did so extremely thoroughly, far more so than any time I've been patted down in the past going through airport security, and it was the same coming home. I know this isn't what the OP wants to hear, but it's better that they're aware of the possibilities in advance.

Btw, the full body scanners are mostly in the States, and you'd only see them in major airports. I can't imagine they'd have them in Cork just yet.

Airyfairy12

Zaph wrote: »

Not entirely true, I'm afraid. I have metal in my knee from a recent operation, and I flew last year from Dublin for the first time since it was put in. It set the metal detector off, and although the security guy was happy with my explanation of what set it off, he explained that he'd still have to frisk me. He did so extremely thoroughly, far more so than any time I've been patted down in the past going through airport security, and it was the same coming home. I know this isn't what the OP wants to hear, but it's better that they're aware of the possibilities in advance.

Btw, the full body scanners are mostly in the States, and you'd only see them in major airports. I can't imagine they'd have them in Cork just yet.

Ive seen them in small airports, I had to be put into one the last time I travelled, the airport was tiny and ive never travelled to the states. I havnt been frisked in years but clearly it's still done.

OP why do you have such a strong aversion to being touched and being in airports? Could you take a Euro bus instead?

sashafierce

This post has been deleted.

Mutter123

Hi all, thanks for all the advice.

I think the best way to explain why I'm afraid of the pat down is to explain why I'm not afraid of the body scanners. There is loads of information on them, and it clearly explains that all the screener will see is a stick figure. But with pat downs there is no information, many airport websites don't even tell you whether pat downs happen or not despite the fact that I've seen them happen in said airports.

There is no information on where exactly they put their hands. If I knew what to expect I would still be nervous, but this uncertainty changes it from nervousness to absolute terror.

As to trying to go by train, this presents other problems, needing more time off work, but also I actually have several anxieties related to travel, the fear of being touched is just the worst one. The problem with going by train is that the more complicated the travel plan is the more nervous I'll be.

As to bringing a doctor's note, looking at airport websites in general they don't seem to have any provisions for people with anxiety disorders. Revealing an anxiety disorder to someone who isn't trained to deal with it is likely to make things worse.

Thanks in advance for any further advice.

amtc

I have a Cartier bracelet...the ones that can only be taken off with a screwdriver. Long story but don't have it nor am I in touch with the gift giver and not paying 300 euro for a replacement.

I also have a plate in my back and have a letter to this effect.

I know I'll beep so simply say it to the staff.

I travel most weeks. I'm not mad on being frisked but in my case it's the only way I can get to where I need to go. It's only a few seconds. You have to look at the end result...in my case I don't get paid...in yours you don't get to experience trips.

By the way I find the frisking much easier than the booths in brussels where you stand in and be scanned...but then I don't like closed spaces.

bee06

Cork airport doesn't have the full body scanners just the normal metal detectors. In my experience the "pat down" is along your arms, down your legs, around your waistband and collar/across your shoulders and down your back and front. If you are a woman the front is more to the side of your boobs rather than touching them. It's all very quick and not really a patting rather a skimming if that makes sense. You can get randomly selected for a security check even if you don't set of the alarm.

I'm sure if you explained your issue and asked them exactly what they were going to do first they would be happy to facilitate.

cloudatlas

We could tell you to go by coach or train etc., to put in headphones and all other hacks to make the process easier but it sounds like you need to talk to a counsellor about this fear. Pat downs have gotten more thorough with security now running their fingers along the band of your trousers which is something they didn't use to do, I got a bit of a shock but that is the norm now.

twill

I don't have an anxiety disorder, but do have anxiety about travelling that's autism related, so for me the key to coping with everything that might be an issue - e.g. lights and noise and disorientation in the airport, etc - is by planning every part of the itinerary to the last detail, making rough maps of streets and airports, printing out timetables etc, so that I can keep going through any issues that may arise and am focused on "what comes next".

Also what happens if airport security and/or customs notice that I'm nervous? I know that in America nervousness is considered a sign of guilt but I don't if this is the case in European airports.

The security culture here is vastly different, so I don't think so. They're definitely watching everything, but it's all routine.

sashafierce

This post has been deleted.

supersheeps

Maybe you should contact the airport, send an email to their customer services, outlining your concerns/issues? I know that Dublin Airport does a pack for travellers on the autistic spectrum, to help them prepare for the journey. Shannon have a sensory room and can organise similar aids to Dublin. I'm sure Cork have something similar. However, the airport is just one part of travel, if you made it to Amsterdam, for example, could you see yourself getting the train into Centraal Station, then a tram to your hotel? Do you have a friend who you could travel with, who understands and tolerates your anxieties? A chat with your GP or a counsellor may be a huge help.

irishgirl19

Hi op you could apply for an important flyer lanyard(dublin do them not sure about cork) they are normally for people with asd. You'd need a letter from doctor

Edit. Just seen supersheeps posted already!

Mutter123

Hi all, thanks to everyone for trying to help me through this, but I'm sorry to say I'm seriously considering giving up on the whole travel plan. The fear is just too much.
Can anyone at least confirm that I am allowed simply refuse the search and go home? I know that in America, some states at least, they force you to go through airport security even if you simply want to return home, I don't know what the situation is in Ireland. I have considered for years making one last trip abroad before I give it up for good, if I'm only going on one more trip my odds of avoiding the search are reasonably good.

charlietheminxx

I was frisked last week. It's happened to me more than once but it's really not that bad. For women it's done by a female officer and takes about 20-30 seconds. If you take a deep breath and count to 30 in your head, it should be over.

They run the flats of their hands up and down your legs, arms and back. They ask to see the soles of your shoes. I've had my waistband and once my bra underwire quickly checked with flat hands (it's not grabby at all). The security officer actually apologised to me while checking my underwire, but I said it was ok because I know it's her job.

Sometimes we allow fear to paralyse us. I would reach out to someone OP, try and work through it. Life is too short to let this hold you back from doing something you really want to do.

dellas1979

Pat downs do still do happen. At all airports.

You will definitely have one if the alarm goes off in the metal detector. There is a very very small chance you could randomly get one.

Put any bag in the tray. Including your jacket. Remove belt if wearing one. Ask if you need to remove shoes. Take everything out of your pockets including money. In your case, take off jewellery just to be double sure.

Have a look at this: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0Q_903kS6BQ

Asking if you can refuse and just go home? Im sure you can. But what happens if this happens in Amsterdam?

I dont know what your anxiety is (I dont understand this one) but we all have anxiety over different things. Try living as a spider phobe! I do. But it doesnt rule my life. If it did, I would be more looking at getting help to over come it, rather try and control it all.

brevity

Mutter123 wrote: »

Hi all, thanks to everyone for trying to help me through this, but I'm sorry to say I'm seriously considering giving up on the whole travel plan. The fear is just too much.
Can anyone at least confirm that I am allowed simply refuse the search and go home? I know that in America, some states at least, they force you to go through airport security even if you simply want to return home, I don't know what the situation is in Ireland. I have considered for years making one last trip abroad before I give it up for good, if I'm only going on one more trip my odds of avoiding the search are reasonably good.

Don't give up. Talk to someone about it. A doctor could point you in the right direction.

The suggestion to email or call the airport in question is a good idea.

Definitely don't give up.

LynnGrace

I think the only way to find out whether you can refuse the search, and return home, would be to contact the airport. As others have said, yes, pat downs do happen and even if you went through the Irish airport without one, there is no guarantee that they wouldn't happen in whatever airport you were returning from.

This must be very difficult for you.
I think it is definitely worth seeking help for. So don't rule out travelling just yet. It will take time, going to counselling, for example, but it is well worth trying.

All the best.

DaeryssaOne

I have to go through security every single day as part of my employment and am only patted down maybe once in 15 -20 times?
It can be embarrassing when they have to check your waistband for example but it is over in about 15 seconds and they're only doing their job. There is nothing 'weird' about it and nothing 'grabby' - it's just a quick check that you don't have anything hidden in your bra / waistband / socks etc and if something so run of the mill and unimportant could potentially stop you from travelling OP I think you should really seek help on this.

Mutter123

Hi dellas1979, thanks for posting the TSA video, but I must say I'm terrified. If it's that bad in European airports I'll never travel, I don't see any amount of therapy changing that, though I appreciate that you were trying to help. Fortunately I don't think I'll ever travel outside Europe, (For a variety of reasons not just anxiety)
You and some other people asked what happens in Amsterdam. They have the body scanners there. It might show an anomaly on part of my body but if they only touch one part of my body I can deal with it (unless it's an intimate area). It's still a risk but (I'm hoping) my chances in Holland are better than my chances in Cork.

bee06

In my experience the Cork airport pat downs are no where near as thorough as the TSA Ines shown in that video. I've done a reasonable amount of travelling to the states as well and never had a pat down like that. Definitely never had my hair checked or my boobs skimmed like that.

dellas1979

Mutter123 wrote: »

It might show an anomaly on part of my body but if they only touch one part of my body I can deal with it (unless it's an intimate area).

Ok-I am putting 2 + 2 together, and could be getting 20.

I am getting an impression there is part of your body, that you feel might be discovered (something not there or something added on).

I was posting the video to show you that they dont "touch" you in any intimate areas. They pat/swipe you down. They are doing a job and are professionals. They are more concerned with finding something on you that's a danger to others.

The way fear works is that you build something up in your head.

If you have a condition, I would like others have said, contact airport security and explain your concerns.

Mutter123

OK, I think I haven't explained my fears correctly. Whether this is because it's because I find message boards a difficult medium to express myself through or whether it's because I find it difficult to talk about, I don't know.
When I explain my fears to others, they often get the wrong impression, some have gotten the impression that I'm a sexual assault victim, and now I'm inadvertently giving the impression that I have a prosthetic.
I'm basically a guy who's ordinary in many ways but I have much higher levels of anxiety than most of the population. And I am afraid of being touched without my permission. (This is why it's so important to know if I can refuse the search, I'm hoping that will give me a sense of control) And it gets worse the more intimate the area is. I could handle most areas of my body being touched, it would probably give me an anxiety attack but I could handle it.
But I absolutely could not handle my genitals being touched, even if airport security use the backs of theirs hands or have some other relatively humane method of doing it.There was no traumatic event that caused this. There is nothing different about my body. But on the night before I flew home on my last trip abroad and I suspected this was going to happen to me, I didn't sleep at all, and I don't mean I slept an hour or two, I literally spent the entire night awake with my heart racing.
This is why most airport websites are infuriating to me. They not only don't explain what the pat down procedure entails, they don't explain that they perform pat downs at all. There is so little information that my anxious brain is able to fill in whatever negative conclusion it wants. What the anxious brain needs is "X does not happen" or at least "X seldom happens", but the airport websites barely tell you anything.
I'm going to see if it's possible to contact Cork airport and maybe Amsterdam airport and see if I can get clarifications regarding my fears. Thanks to everyone here who has tried to help me through this difficulty.

amtc

Just to be clear it's pretty much wanding now. If my bra beeps you don't get patted down. I am assuming as a male you won't have metal around genitals.

bee06

OP, I'm going through Cork airport next week so I'll try to remember to report back on whether they are patting or wanding.

witchgirl26

OP I can appreciate your anxiety and wanting the information but the reason they don't give that out is so that criminals can't pre-empt what may be checked and circumvent that. I know that doesn't help you but it does explain why there is a lack of the information. Also the TSA video shows a very thorough search - I've travelled a fair bit in the past few years to Europe and America and never had anything like that.

The pat downs last very little time at all & are only done if you beep going through the scanner. You can do quite a bit to make sure you don't beep (ensuring no metal on you at all, removing watch & any jewellery just in case etc) but there are random checks as well. Would it be possible to get a letter from a doctor explaining your anxiety at being touched and maybe ringing the airport to ask what their procedure would be if you had a letter like this? You might find that they have something in place to help people who have a similar anxiety.

Lead

Would going to your doc beforehand and asking for a valium help maybe?

Neyite

I think you need to look into tackling this long term. I know you are just saying that you'll avoid flying and maybe travel using other methods but with the way the world is going I can see security checks becoming more commonplace in all types of things - There was personal checks going into Slane as that was after the Manchester bombing - now it was basically just a woman looking into my handbag and squeezing my jacket pockets but the likes of football stadia and lots of other places where people go to are also going increase their security.

It seems such a shame that your life is so restricted (and potentially even more so in the future) by your phobia, so would you not look into ways to try to combat it or at least get it to a managable level for yourself?

Mutter123

"OP I can appreciate your anxiety and wanting the information but the reason they don't give that out is so that criminals can't pre-empt what may be checked and circumvent that. I know that doesn't help you but it does explain why there is a lack of the information."


I suspected that was the reason but it didn't make it any easier. But I think part of the problem is that I'm stressing myself out tearing through internet information hoping I'll get an unambiguous answer on what the search procedure is like, but maybe it's about time I accept I'll never know for certain and learn to live with it.


"Also the TSA video shows a very thorough search - I've travelled a fair bit in the past few years to Europe and America and never had anything like that."


Others who went to America have said the same. I suspect that many TSA agents are refusing to perform a search that invasive.


"Would it be possible to get a letter from a doctor explaining your anxiety at being touched and maybe ringing the airport to ask what their procedure would be if you had a letter like this? You might find that they have something in place to help people who have a similar anxiety."


I'm going to speak to my doctor about this the next time I see her. But it's a double edged sword, if they're trained to help people with anxiety, great, if not, I've revealed a secret to strangers that's difficult to talk about while I've gained nothing or possibly made things worse. I think the others going on the trip with me will be able to help me deal with my anxiety though.
The only procedure I know of to help people is to allow them to be searched in a private room. This would make me worse, because it would take longer. I would just want it done as quickly as possible. Also I'm not keen on being taken somewhere where there's no witnesses. (I'm sure most security officers are fine but there's always going to be a few bad people in any organisation.)


"Would going to your doc beforehand and asking for a valium help maybe?"


I used to take xanax for the plane. (I also have a fear of flying that ironically I was making good progress in eliminating before my other fears meant I had to stop travelling.) I could take a xanax before I go to the airport. When I was on the plane I used to close my eyes and do breathing exercises. I wonder could I do this if I'm being searched, maybe I would become so relaxed I wouldn't be able to even feel the person's hands on me.


"It seems such a shame that your life is so restricted (and potentially even more so in the future) by your phobia, so would you not look into ways to try to combat it or at least get it to a managable level for yourself?"


You're right. I'm actually starting to become more optimistic about the situation. Though I have to be careful because every few years I come close to "getting over my fear of travelling" and always somehow end up back where I started. I think I may have read too many horror stories about people being searched in a dehumanising way, but these mainly come from America where I'm not going and even these I would assume are the exception to the rule.
Also during my last trip where I gave up travelling I really didn't know how to handle anxiety. I assumed I was going to faint so I was terrified, now anxiety attacks barely concern me and I don't have full blown panic attacks anymore.
I'm starting to think that I just need one trip abroad to get rid of my negative association with travelling. But I may need to consider counselling and my friends and family will help me.
Thanks to everyone for all your help. I've reached the point where I think that with a lot of help I will get back on a plane.

LynnGrace

I think you will, OP. Once again, all the best.

dellas1979

Good for you OP.

It is brave to come on here and say what is going on for you. And there is no shame or embarassment over a fear of something.

We all have them! Just this is stopping you enjoying new experiences.

What Ive learned about fears is that, we build them up in our heads, causing the anxiety, as you said, filling in gaps of information. Fear is of the unknown. Fear is "how will I cope if X happens?" The issue isnt the anxiety you feel, the issue is the fear itself. Facing a fear is very brave.

Thats where having a strategy in place comes in. A coping mechanism.

supersheeps

Just an idea: once you've spoken to your GP and have a bit of support, whether it be counselling or medication, why not book a cheap flight to somewhere in the UK (Or are there even still Cork-Dublin flights?) My reasoning is that it's a short flight, relatively uncomplicated check-in process, and the security and airport staff will speak your language so you can express your fears if the anxiety kicks off. If you find you really can't go through with it, there's no hige loss of the "holiday" trip or of money, so you've less to beat yourself up over and can focus on healing the core anxiety issues. Almost like a practice run for a bigger trip away?

Mutter123

"Just an idea: once you've spoken to your GP and have a bit of support, whether it be counselling or medication, why not book a cheap flight to somewhere in the UK (Or are there even still Cork-Dublin flights?) My reasoning is that it's a short flight, relatively uncomplicated check-in process, and the security and airport staff will speak your language so you can express your fears if the anxiety kicks off. If you find you really can't go through with it, there's no hige loss of the "holiday" trip or of money, so you've less to beat yourself up over and can focus on healing the core anxiety issues. Almost like a practice run for a bigger trip away?"

They no longer operate flights from Cork to Dublin, which is a shame because I might well be going to Dublin in November!
UK airports terrify me. I found the security staff to be ruder than other airports. (Not to me to other people.) They seemed to enjoy humiliating people, at least that's how I was interpreting it.
Also they have the stick figure body scanners, which is good, but I'm not entirely sure what happens if the body scanner detects something because all I have is anecdotes. Also the stick figure body scanners were put in through an E.U decision, so with Brexit I don't know will the x-ray body scanners be reintroduced and those scare me.
So I think for all of these reasons going to the UK would be much harder than going to some other countries.
Going to Amsterdam I'll be with other people, but I've only know them about two years, they don't know about my anxiety issues. (As a general rule the only people who know about it have known me ten years or longer.) I don't know whether to tell them or not. They might be fine with it, they might help me, or they might be uncomfortable travelling with me. I just don't know what'll happen.
Also the big problem is that I feel under a lot of pressure to get to Iceland as soon as I can. In my experience flights from Cork to anywhere even remotely interesting get discontinued after a few years, so I'm afraid of missing my chance.

MB Lacey

Hi OP

As if by magic, there is an article in today's Guardian from the viewpoint of the person doing the 'patting down'.
This could be a really good read for you as it breaks the experience you're dreading down into a) the reason they have to do the pat down b) the perspective of the Airport security worker who has to do the pat down.

I have flown plenty of times and the pat downs have never, ever gone anywhere near my genitals - I hope this reassures you a little, it will just be your main body and legs which are checked.
Once that's done, they're onto the next person and you're on your way with your travels.

Anxieties are a pain but very real - wish you all the best.

https://www.theguardian.com/world/2017/jun/29/my-short-life-as-an-airport-security-guard

Mutter123

"Hi OP


As if by magic, there is an article in today's Guardian from the viewpoint of the person doing the 'patting down'.
This could be a really good read for you as it breaks the experience you're dreading down into a) the reason they have to do the pat down b) the perspective of the Airport security worker who has to do the pat down."


I read the article, thanks for sending it to me. I think I'm beginning to understand that airport security often find the pat down as unpleasant as the passengers do.


"I have flown plenty of times and the pat downs have never, ever gone anywhere near my genitals - I hope this reassures you a little, it will just be your main body and legs which are checked.
Once that's done, they're onto the next person and you're on your way with your travels.


Anxieties are a pain but very real - wish you all the best."


Yes it does reassure me, I'm beginning to see that it's extremely unlikely that there'll be any genital touching. But just to be on the safe side I will have my eyes closed if I am searched, if it does happen I don't want to know!

December2012

Hi OP,

It appears to me like you're very aware of your triggers, and you're being proactive with your preparation.

And you keep trying to fix it, which is great.

You'll get there OP!

Mutter123

Thank you, I'm much more optimistic than I was even a few days ago.

LynnGrace

December2012 wrote: »

Hi OP,

It appears to me like you're very aware of your triggers, and you're being proactive with your preparation.

And you keep trying to fix it, which is great.

You'll get there OP!

I agree. OP, you are facing the issue, acknowledging it, and are prepared to address it. You will get there.

Mutter123

Thanks, but now there's something I'm kind of worried about because of something that happened today.
One of the staff on the train today was verbally abusive to me. I put in a complaint with Iaranrod Eireann, I don't know if they'll even read it, but to be honest I think I'm fine now and just needed an hour or two to calm down. But it got me thinking, with all the anxieties associated with airports I think if the airport security staff are rude or abusive to me I think that'll be more than I can take. I'm worried that if I ask them to stop being so abusive that I'll make things worse, and I can't seem to find out if there's any complaints procedure for airport security.
I just don't think I could take being searched and on top of that being shouted at or verbally abused in some way. It would really add to the feelings of being powerless that I already feel at airports.

charlietheminxx

OP I really think now is the time to reach out for some professional help. It sounds like you're having a hard time with the day to day things. There's no shame in struggling but it's important you can ask for help. I'm sure you did have a horrible experience today but rude people etc are unfortunately a part of life and it's impossible to insulate yourself against every situation where you might come across them.

I'm interested in what you would define as abusive as I have never seen an airport security person behave in a manner that could be considered such, but I have come across plenty having a bad day that could be a bit snippy/rude. Maybe it's irrelevant as you are now creating more reasons for yourself to not go away through the airport like you aspire to do. It seems like you're creating obstacles for yourself.

Please get some help and start working through this properly or it's just going to keep impeding your life choices.

Gregor Samsa

I travel a fair bit, and I've never seen airport security staff being abusive. Sometimes they're abrupt, but then when your job entails telling a thousand people a day to take all the metal out of their pockets, there's only so much friendliness you can put into your interaction. But I've never, ever seen that cross the line into anything I'd describe as abusive.

Just do what you're supposed to do at the security check (empty pockets, take off coat, take off belt and shoes, bag in a tray, liquids in plastic bag, laptop/tablet out of bag and in it's own tray) and they won't even need to talk to you. They're not looking for a row, they're like everyone else: looking to get through the day with as little hassle as possible.

Note that sometimes the metal detector will go off even when you have no metal on you. The system is set to do this randomly. If it does, you'll be patted down. It's not a reflection on you in any way, just part of the process.

I do think that you could benefit from counselling. It seems from the thread that your anxieties aren't really to do with travelling, but more to do with human interaction in situations you find uncomfortable. I think counseling could help you with that, and that many facets of your life would be improved because of it.

Best of luck with your trip. I hope it's a positive experience for you.

bee06

OP, when I was going through Cork airport this morning is set off the detector/got selected for a random check. She swabbed my hands and around my waist with a swab on a stick and that was it. I didn't see anyone being patted down in the 10 mins I was watching.

Ursus Horribilis

I'd love to hear the viewpoint of this person who was verbally abusive. Like the others I've never seen anyone in an airport, bus or train being verbally abusive. My guess is you did something to provoke them. I'm not victim blaming but suggesting there's something off about your manner that's like a red rag to a bull to people who just want to check your ticket or get the train boarded and on its way.

You're in danger of turning into a recluse if you don't leave this behaviour unchecked. Please seek professional help before this becomes an even bigger problem than it is.

Mutter123

“OP I really think now is the time to reach out for some professional help. It sounds like you're having a hard time with the day to day things. There's no shame in struggling but it's important you can ask for help. I'm sure you did have a horrible experience today but rude people etc are unfortunately a part of life and it's impossible to insulate yourself against every situation where you might come across them.”


The reason I'm so reluctant to get professional help is that several years ago I went for counselling, it cost me over 1,000 euros and made absolutely no difference. He seemed more interested in slapping an Asperger's diagnosis on me than in helping me. (I seriously doubt I have this condition, nobody who knows me well, friends or family, think I have it.) I'm just not willing to gamble my money like that again. Physical excercise has made a great difference to my mental health and that doesn't cost me anything.


“I do think that you could benefit from counselling. It seems from the thread that your anxieties aren't really to do with travelling, but more to do with human interaction in situations you find uncomfortable. I think counseling could help you with that, and that many facets of your life would be improved because of it.

Best of luck with your trip. I hope it's a positive experience for you.”


I have plenty of anxieties related to travel, and they affect me when I travel in Ireland, but I'm able to keep them under control. I think the issue with travel is 'All my travel anxieties that I get in Ireland' but in addition to this 'Unpleasant human interactions at the airport.' I almost certainly have Social Anxiety Disorder though I was never officially diagnosed with it, simple social interactions have given me anxiety attacks and in the past full blown panic attacks.'


'OP, when I was going through Cork airport this morning is set off the detector/got selected for a random check. She swabbed my hands and around my waist with a swab on a stick and that was it. I didn't see anyone being patted down in the 10 mins I was watching.'


Thanks for reporting back on this. If this is still the procedure when I go I think I should be able to tolerate it. Hopefully they won't change their procedures.


'I'd love to hear the viewpoint of this person who was verbally abusive. Like the others I've never seen anyone in an airport, bus or train being verbally abusive. My guess is you did something to provoke them. I'm not victim blaming but suggesting there's something off about your manner that's like a red rag to a bull to people who just want to check your ticket or get the train boarded and on its way.

You're in danger of turning into a recluse if you don't leave this behaviour unchecked. Please seek professional help before this becomes an even bigger problem than it is.'


He was roaring abuse at people completely unprovoked. Part of the reason it was so shocking was that this was the first time ever something like this ever happened, I have never had this happen on a train, bus or airport, though I have witnessed other people getting abuse in airports in the UK. It's obvious that this is just the way he deals with people in general, so there's no feeling of 'why did he pick on me', but that doesn't help me.
Also I understand that this is one sided as we don't get to hear his side. If I encounter him again I'll try to work up the courage to ask him what's going on, and I'll post what he said here.