Bedtime routine for a 25 month old

Summer2017

Hi, can someone please share their 25 month old toddler bedtime routine. Since he was sick a few months back, I have allowed my little boy to sleep with us - yes I know - wrong of me. Time to get him into his own bed. I watched the 3 day nanny and she advised letting your child cry it out in their cot so they will eventually self soothe to sleep. She also recommended taking the bottle and soothers away! I am dreading it. Thanks for all advice.

shesty

I think thay's an awful idea BUT.....that said, there will be some crying.
Ours sleep in their rooms.I've read lots of ways to do it though.I think if I was you, I'd sit down with him (choose a friday night if you are at home weekends because it means you are not worried about getting up in the morning) and explain to him that tonight bedtime will be a bit different -that he will put on pjs, wash teeth etc and then he will go into his bedroom to sleep for the night.He is old enough for you to have this conversation and while he may not like it or fully get it, he will understand enough to know there's going to be a bit of a change.I'd remind him a couple of times during the day but I would not engage with him on any disagreement or rows, just state it and then drop it.

You could try dropping soother and bottle...personally we still have soothers for our three and one year olds, so I guess it depends on how difficult you want to make it for yourself!I'd hang on to the soother myself just so he has some sort of comfort!

I think the general approach after that seems to be to get him into his bed and be prepared to sit it out with him for as long as it takes.Either sitting in the room with him and telling him every few mins it's time for sleep or sitting outside the door and going in every few mins to tell him it's time for sleep seem to be the best approach.It could take hours...he will cry a bit.....but he could surprise you either.I think you just have to stick with it for as long as it takes.

Our routine is bath, pjs, bottle, book and teeth.I don't think a bath every night is necessary but it happens to work for us, so that one is up to you

Summer2017

shesty wrote: »

I think thay's an awful idea BUT.....that said, there will be some crying.
Ours sleep in their rooms.I've read lots of ways to do it though.I think if I was you, I'd sit down with him (choose a friday night if you are at home weekends because it means you are not worried about getting up in the morning) and explain to him that tonight bedtime will be a bit different -that he will put on pjs, wash teeth etc and then he will go into his bedroom to sleep for the night.He is old enough for you to have this conversation and while he may not like it or fully get it, he will understand enough to know there's going to be a bit of a change.I'd remind him a couple of times during the day but I would not engage with him on any disagreement or rows, just state it and then drop it.

You could try dropping soother and bottle...personally we still have soothers for our three and one year olds, so I guess it depends on how difficult you want to make it for yourself!I'd hang on to the soother myself just so he has some sort of comfort!

I think the general approach after that seems to be to get him into his bed and be prepared to sit it out with him for as long as it takes.Either sitting in the room with him and telling him every few mins it's time for sleep or sitting outside the door and going in every few mins to tell him it's time for sleep seem to be the best approach.It could take hours...he will cry a bit.....but he could surprise you either.I think you just have to stick with it for as long as it takes.

Our routine is bath, pjs, bottle, book and teeth.I don't think a bath every night is necessary but it happens to work for us, so that one is up to you

Thank you very much for your advice Shesty. I will try it out!

Anne_cordelia

Summer2017 wrote: »

Hi, can someone please share their 25 month old toddler bedtime routine. Since he was sick a few months back, I have allowed my little boy to sleep with us - yes I know - wrong of me. Time to get him into his own bed. I watched the 3 day nanny and she advised letting your child cry it out in their cot so they will eventually self soothe to sleep. She also recommended taking the bottle and soothers away! I am dreading it. Thanks for all advice.

That is a horrible horrible show. Ignore!! They don't self soothe to sleep. They give up as they realise no one is coming. They child's cortisol (stress) levels remain as high as if they were crying.

pwurple

Summer2017 wrote: »

Hi, can someone please share their 25 month old toddler bedtime routine. Since he was sick a few months back, I have allowed my little boy to sleep with us - yes I know - wrong of me. Time to get him into his own bed. I watched the 3 day nanny and she advised letting your child cry it out in their cot so they will eventually self soothe to sleep. She also recommended taking the bottle and soothers away! I am dreading it. Thanks for all advice.

Crying it out is absolute cruelty, please don't do that to the poor little thing. He just wants his mum or dad.

Make some big deal of his bed... can you change the duvet cover to something he loves? I have a chair in my toddlers room, I sat next to her until she was asleep at that age. Only takes about 5 - 10 mins usually when they are calm.

ncmc

I have to say I've used the cry it out method in the past. I personally don't think it's cruel (depending how it's done of course) I think there's a difference between genuine crying and that moany pretend crying kids sometimes do. Obviously I wouldn't leave a child in real distress. The way I would do it is leave the child cry for maybe 30 seconds, go in and settle him without really speaking to him or engaging him. Next time leave him 60 seconds, then 90 seconds. Again, I would definitely not leave the child get into a fit of real crying or in real distress. If that happens. I would lift him, comfort him and try again. I personally wouldn't remove the soother or bottle at this stage, it's all too much at once. Get him sleeping in his own bed first, then tackle the soother. I don't see the harm in the bottle to be honest. My little girl only gave up the bottle recently just before her 3rd birthday and the only reason I did it is because she wasn't eating her dinner and filling up on her bottle. Best of luck.

ShaShaBear

ncmc wrote: »

I have to say I've used the cry it out method in the past. I personally don't think it's cruel (depending how it's done of course) I think there's a difference between genuine crying and that moany pretend crying kids sometimes do. Obviously I wouldn't leave a child in real distress. The way I would do it is leave the child cry for maybe 30 seconds, go in and settle him without really speaking to him or engaging him. Next time leave him 60 seconds, then 90 seconds. Again, I would definitely not leave the child get into a fit of real crying or in real distress. If that happens. I would lift him, comfort him and try again. I personally wouldn't remove the soother or bottle at this stage, it's all too much at once. Get him sleeping in his own bed first, then tackle the soother. I don't see the harm in the bottle to be honest. My little girl only gave up the bottle recently just before her 3rd birthday and the only reason I did it is because she wasn't eating her dinner and filling up on her bottle. Best of luck.

That would be more controlled crying though. Cry-It-Out is leaving the child alone to cry until the desired effect is achieved - in this case, sleep. Controlled crying is exactly as you describe - allowing them to cry, but ensuring you are on hand to comfort and re-assure the child constantly, so they learn to feel safe in their new space and can trust that the change in environment doesn't affect their relationship with you. Almost identical to the method used to rid dogs of separation anxiety, actually.
OP, have you ever cried yourself to sleep? Did you wake up feeling refreshed? Or were you a hot mess with a headache and sore eyes?

As for the soother and bottle, don't rush, and CERTAINLY don't do all three at once! The comfort and familiarity of the bottle and soother will help the transition into their own bed. My eldest gave up dummies of her own accord - she kept tearing them with her teeth and hated using them when they were "busted", and hasn't had one in about 4 months. She will be 3 in 2 weeks and is still taking a bottle both during the day and for bed.

Neyite

Summer2017 wrote: »

I watched the 3 day nanny and she advised letting your child cry it out in their cot so they will eventually self soothe to sleep. She also recommended taking the bottle and soothers away! I am dreading it. Thanks for all advice.

Why would anyone advise that kind of massive upheaval? It's madness and cruel!

You'd even stress out adults if you dumped them in a strange bed without their partner to keep them warm, in a different room with different lighting and took away the stuff that keeps them ticking over like coffee in the morning or their warm shower. Yet people do all that kind of stuff to a kid - remove all that's familiar and comforting to them and then wonder why you cant pry them off their leg a few days later.

Tackle it one at a time. We stayed in his room until he was asleep in his own bed, then when that was routine, the bottle was the next to go - no bottle after teeth brushed. Finally the soother fairy wanted soothers for the babies so asked him for his in exchange for a present.

He's only just two. Please don't do all three in one go.

Cunning Stunt

Summer2017 wrote: »

Hi, can someone please share their 25 month old toddler bedtime routine. Since he was sick a few months back, I have allowed my little boy to sleep with us - yes I know - wrong of me. Time to get him into his own bed.

Just want to say it wasn't wrong of you if he was sick and needed his mammy. It was the natural thing to do.

When its our little ones bedtime, Mammy/daddy lies in the bed with them, reads a few stories then waits until they are sleeping, then sneaks off downstairs again. Its a half hour out of every evening which we can gladly spare to send them off peacefully to sleep.

Might not suit everyone, but believe me, we read all the ''get them to sleep on their own / get them to self soothe etc.'' techniques - even bought some books - there were plenty of trials and tears - in the end, this was the easiest and least stressful solution for all.

Neyite

Cunning Stunt wrote: »

Just want to say it wasn't wrong of you if he was sick and needed his mammy. It was the natural thing to do.

When its our little ones bedtime, Mammy/daddy lies in the bed with them, reads a few stories then waits until they are sleeping, then sneaks off downstairs again. Its a half hour out of every evening which we can gladly spare to send them off peacefully to sleep.

We do that too. It's my favourite bit of being a parent. Now he's a bit older, it's just some quiet one-to-one time with him after a busy day and often that's where the concerns or questions of his day get aired and talked about. We've talked about stuff that made him sad or what made him happy that day. Last night he was sad and was missing our recent holiday so we chatted a little about our favourite bits of the holiday and he drifted off happily in 20 mins.

The years are galloping by so fast that it will be no length before he's a monosyllabic teen communicating in grunts and eye-rolls at us and his bedroom is a no-parent-zone so I'm taking all the snuggles while I still can get them